The Aberystwith Observer

A WARNING AGAINST DISSIMULATION. It is a man's duty not only to recommend any course of conduct which, in his own experience, has led to a happy result, but also to warn people against any other which may have led him into trouble or distress. A very solemn lesson of warning may be learned from a narrative of my experience, the other day, with a kitten I got from Mrs. Wype. Perhaps you don't know Mrs. Wype. She was once a housekeeper of ours, but left us at the instigation of Mr. Wype, a greengrocer in Leith, who wanted some one to share his sorrows and help him to take charge of his shop. In less than a year after Mr. Wype died, and left Mrs. Wype with a few groceries in the shop and a little heir- presumptive in the back parlour. About a fortnight ago Mrs. Wype's grey cat presented the estimable lady with four kittens. As fate would have it, I called with a small order the very week after; and Mrs. Wype, beckoning me mysteriously into the back-parlour, ex- hibited the four kittens, all in a row, on the table. Now I have a strong inborn antipathy to all animals of the cat kind but to please Mrs. Wype I drew as near the table as I thought safe, and assumed an ex- pression of lively interest. Well, Mrs. Wype," I said, when I thought I had looked at them long enough, I have seen a great variety of kittens in my time, but I must say that I have seen very few equal to these. There's a sort of comeliness about them, you under- stand." It would have been well for me had I stopped there, but my evil genius urged me further; I pointed to the smallest kitten (a shapeless abomination that lay sprawling on the table) and assured Mrs. Wype that I could trace in its features a striking resemblance to those of the parent cat. "Dear me!" said Mrs. Wype, half-closing one eye, and drawing back her head a little, to take in the full expression, so there is; I never noticed that before." She was greatly delighted at this discovery, and in the exuberance of her joy said I should have that one in a ?resent. This was more than I had calculated upon. shuddered involuntarily, and assured Mrs. Wype that I could not think of depriving her of it. She said, I wasn't to mention that. In desperation I referred to the maternal feelings of the cat; I even adduced an instance from Buffon of a cat which, being deprived of its kitten, had pined for a day or two and then died in a state of unspeakable woe. It was in vain. Hoot, sir," said Mrs, Wype, I never think o't; I wis ginna droon three o' them." I wished from the bottom of my heart that she had drov. led the whole of them before my arrival; but as it was I had to give in, and. after vaiuly starting some objections as to the difficulty of conveyance, was persuaded to let her slip the kitten into the pocket of my Highland cloak.—mentally resolving at the same time to fling it dow.,i the first area I passed on the way home. By the time I reached the corner of the street my nervousness at the idea "of having anything feline so close to my legs had so increased that, although a nasty soft drizzle was coming down, I could not keep my cloak on longer. So I took it off and slung it over my arm, and held it as far from me as I could without attracting observation. And yet almost every person I met would look curiously at it, and from it to me in a most aggravating manner, till I felt persuaded that the abominable beast had got its head out of the pocket. Once, too, as I was looking nervously in ad- vance, I felt a cold perspiration breaking suddenly out upon me as I caught sight of a figure coming down the street, which I was sure was Miss a young lady of my acquaintance. Just then the omnibus overtook me on its way to Edinburgh. Ha! here was an opportunity of getting home more rapidly and with much less annoyance. The kitten I could easily drown in a handbasin when I reached home. I waved my hand to the conductor, and presently found myself inside. The omnibus seemed pretty full already- quite full enough, as a stout gentleman who sat next the door took the opportunity of intimating by a very significant cough. But as I observed my old friend Mrs. Lumsy beckoning to me from the further end, I pressed forward and secured a seat between her and a young woman-a nurse apparently-with a child in her arm. So soon as I was seated I threw my cloak across my knees with as much nonchalance as I could possibly assume, and began talking to Mrs. Lumsy. Mrs. Lumsy is a fine old lady; she's rather stout to be what you would call handsome,-measures, in fact, rather above four feet six round the waist, according to a rough calculation made by Mr. Lumsy shortly before his death. But she has a heart to match, so it comes to the same thing. Well, Mrs. Lumsy and I began, of course, to talk about the weather, which naturally led to the intimation of a cold caught by the youngest Lumsy, which, just as naturally, led to a review of the life and times of the late Mr. Lumsy, in the very middle of which the omnibus stopped. It had no sooner stopped than a nervous little man with a very red face jumped on the step behind, -and looking in, cried "plenty of room," which was a monstrous lie, because the vehicle was full to the door. The stout gentleman next the door cast a savage glance at the little man, and then turned round to us with a look of appeal as to whether this were not too much of a good thing. Eliciting no response, he set himself immoveably in his seat, with his knees in a position which would offer, to any incomer, the greatest possible obstruction. By this time the door had opened, and a boy, for whose edification the little man's remarks had been intended, leapt in with great agility and pushed past the stout gentleman's legs without any ceremony. He leaps like a—a young panther," said the little man, somewhat at a loss for a simile, and was pushing in after him with a hat-box in one hand and an umbrella in the other, when the conductor seized the hat-box and said he would pass it to the top. Against this the little man stoutly protested, but was finally induced to yield. "But, mark me," he said, with strong emphasis, "it will fall. I know it will fall. But you are responsible, remember." The hat-box was passed up; the little man planted himself with his face to the door, with the view of instituting a sharp look- out lest the hat-box should fall off unobserved. The panther crushed himself in between me and the nurse, the cad shut the door, and off we went with a lurch. Till now the kitten had lain as quiet as a mouse, but, whenever the lurch came, it began to my unspeakable horror, to mew most piteously. "What's that?" said Mrs. Lumsy, looking round with a startled air. "It sounds like a cat, ma'am," said the nurse. "A cat!" repeated Mrs. Lumsy, hastily gathering in her dress, "they surely wouldn't allow a cat into an omnibus ?" A lank-faced man with one eye, who.sat directly op- posite, expressed his conviction that it had been the baby, whereupon the nurse tossed her head indignantly, t ,,nan y, but said nothing. I invoked a silent blessing on the man with the eye, and endeavoured to gain ground for his opinion by shaking my head playfully at the child. The matter was still pending, when a dark object dropped down past the window, instantaneouslyfollowed by a cry from the little man, Hey! hallo! my hat-box! confound it! I knew it would fall. Hey there All this time the little man was struggling violently to extricate his umbrella from amongst the legs of the passengers, which he had no sooner done than he brought it down on the conductor's hat with a force that might have driven that functionary's head into his chest. Thus apprised of what was wrong, the con- ductor jumped off, recovered the hat-box, and handed it in. The excitement attending this incident completely diverted attention from our end of the omnibus, and as we rolled lazily along my apprehensions gradually sub- sided. I had even begun to amuse myself by watching the manseuvres of the panther, (who was smuggling toffy balls into his mouth with his pocket-handkerchief, and then pretending that he had only been blowing his nose,) when the omnibus stopped again. The stout gentleman now waxed wrath, and began to mutter some incoherent threats about the" proprietors" and the law;" the man with the eye said this would not do; and Mrs. Lumsy, who was crushed into a corner, began to gasp. Still, no new comer appeared, nor was the conductor to be seen; and presently we began to see the foot passengers on both sides of the road looking towards the omnibus as if something had gone wrong. So the door was speedily opened, and several of us got out to see what it was. It turned out that one of the horses had come to the conclusion, ap- parently, that it had done enough for the day, and evinced a disposition to lie down in the middle of the road but after the driver had lashed it well, and the conductor had gone round and administered a few kicks, the animal seemed to be recalled to a sense of its duty and was ready for another start. Whereupon we a" went round and scrambled in again. Now, my cloak I had left upon my seat to indicate that it was mine. But the little man with the hat-box being in before me, and having formed very imperfect notions of the dis- tinction between mmtn et tuum, deliberately took my place. No sooner had he sat down than a shrill "M-e-a-oo" from beneath him made him spring to to his feet again with an agility which would have re- flected credit on the panther. By Jove!" I cried, snatching up my cloak and punching the cushion below with my knuckles. There must be a cat about here." The panther suggested that it might be in the straw, and crept down to search amongst the people's feet, whereat a young lady opposite seemed shocked," and Mrs. Lumsy grew pale and asked to be let out. So I cleared the way for Mrs. Lumsy and handed her out; and, thrusting threepence into the conductor's hand, hastily effected my escape, firmly resolving in my own mind that should I live to the age of Methuselah I would never dissimulate again. And the kitten (which I had not the heart to drown) will long serve, I dare- say, to remind me of my resolution.

AMERICAN COPYRIGHT AND LITERARY PIRACY. Until lately, the American publishers and the Ame- rican public evinced all that susceptibility upon this subject which an assembly of horses might be supposed to feel on the introduction of any allusion to such topics as a bridle. But our British pirates have for some time past shown themselves so bold, and plundered Jonathan as effectually as he ever plundered us, that the worthy man is at last awakening to more correct ideas on the question of property, though we entertain small hope that he will ever be induced to discriminate equitably in this affair between what belongs to his own country and what belongs to others. As the quadruped we have mentioned, however, frequently derives benefit from the obnoxious curb and, when stumbling, may even be supposed inherently to recog- nise its 'utility, &we are jjnot without some lingering belief that Jonathan will ultimately see and acknow- ledge that the present nefarious system only enriches a few unscrupulous adventurers on either side, and is injurious equally to authors and to literature on both. Even at the present day, the Americans may be con- sidered to have made some approaches towards the establishment of copyright, or at least granting, some allowance to British authors. Ten years ago, this was so unheard of, that when a New York publisher gave twenty dollars for the last number of an English serial then in vogue, he was in danger of being tabooed, if not put down by the whole trade and, like the Irish lawyer who was threatened with disbarment for taking a half-guinea fee, when a whole one was the regular price-but got off by declaring that it was the last sixpence the unhappy client had-was indebted for his escape solely to the confession that it was a stolen copy. He had not paid the author, he explained, for transmitting the sheets, but some imp or rogue in the printer's office for purloining them. The explanation was considered satisfactory, and held to reflect credit on his ingenuity; though he subse- quently incurred such suspicion by paying fifty dollars direct to a British litterateur for translating a novel of Eugene Sue's, when, had he waited a few weeks, he might, in common with the whole trade, have "appropriated" the work from London for nothing, that he was obliged to emigrate to California to avoid the penalty. Now, however, matters are changed. Messrs. Harper, of New York, are recorded to have given Mr. Thackeray as much as ten dollars a page for his sheets of his recent work, in advance; and another well-known publishing firm in the same city is said to have made an attempt upon that gentleman still more remarkable. According, we believe, to Mr. Thackeray himself, .an emissary of the house was dispatched for the purpose of waylaying him so soon as he embarked from Liverpool. Formerly it was the custom for enterprising American newsmen to board vessels on their arrival from Europe, and lay the prssengers under contribution with wonderful per- tinacity. But here was a manoeuvre bolder still; and Mr. Thackeray, it is alleged, amid all the horrors of seasickness at the vessel's side, was interrupted by the indefatigable emissary in a like position, belching forth the information that he would find the A s liberal men to publish with." Mr. Blackwood, and the, proprietors of some of the British quarterly reviews, a few years ago adopted the expedient of securing copyright in America, by engaging some native to write an article or a few pages for their journals, and leaving hIS countrymen ex- posed to all the perils of a transatlantic law-suit if they infringed. American authors have, on the other hand, resorted to the manoeuvre of coming over here, and obtaining protection until their works shall be pub- lished in America. But all measures against pirates on both sides might more effrcuually be supplanted by the adoption of some such modification as a royalty on either side. Were some allowance, like a tenth, made by both parties, the claims of authors might be satis- tied. But a compromise of this nature is improbable the Americans have long since reprinted every novel of the slightest standing in British literature and un- scrupulous London publishers have stolen theirs not less unceremoniously, even when the works were of the most trashy description. Jonathan, therefore, at all times averse to restriction, is not likely now to consent to any legislative measure, and he assuredly will never concur in the demand that British authors should have the same protection in his country as they receive in their own. Some enactment on both sides is, notwithstanding, at present desirable, and must every day becol .e more so. Under existing circumstances, literature suffers equa"y in either country. In America, chiefly devoted to works of fiction, few a ithors receive aught beyond the most wretched recomperse, while the productions of all British novelists are to b3 seized on gratuitously; and in England, works of a higher order in vain seek a mart, while those of transatlantic origin may be appro- priated for nothing. -Leisure Hour.

Ilfoallwras Jhttelligenu. DIPHTHERIA.-Our readers may recollect that, about a fear ago, much interest was excited among medical men by a plan for curing the croup through the introduction of a small tube into the wind-pipe. Dr. Bouchut, the author of this plan, soon afterwards announced that he had cured three cases of malignant sore throat or diphtheria by amputating the tonsils—a method which, in his opinion, prevented the develop- ment of croup. He now, in a communication to the Union Medicale, announces that several other cases have been treated in that .manner with success-viz., one by Dr. Domerc, three by Dr. Simyan at Cluny, and two by himself, making in all nine successful cases, and no failure. There are certainly few instances in medicine of a new system ushered in under such favourable auspices, and we therefore call the attention of practitioners to Dr. Bouchut's detailed account of the last two cases, which have fallen under his obser- vation, and which certainly tend to confirm his opinion above alluded to.-Galignani. A WORD TO THE WrsE.-It is told of another individual, now advanced in life, and distinguished both in the political and religious world, that when he first came up to London, to study for the bar, he casually (as men speak) entered St. John's Chapel one Sunday evening. After standing for a long while in the aisle and failing to get a seat, he felt vexed and chafed, and was retiring. One of the settled congre- gation, however, saw him going, followed him to the outer door, brought him back, and made room for him in -his pew. The sermon that he then heard was in- strumental to his conversion, and he walked from thenceforth in the way that leadeth to everlasting life. The incident is not only encouraging to ministers, but instructive to pewholders the opening of a door may lead to the salvation of a soul I -The Life of the Rev. Daniel Wilson. RURAL MATRIMONY.—On the subject of mar- riage we have our little superstitions. Not a maiden in our parish will attend church on the three Sundays on which her banns are proclaimed and this, not from bashfulness or mock modesty, but because they deem such a proceeding to be eminently unlucky. When Mr. Milkinsop once asked one of those damsels what was the particular kind of ill-luck that she expected would have resulted from her attendance at church on those three particular Sundays, she informed the reverend gentleman that the offspring of such marriages would be born deaf and dumb; and, to clench. this statement, and prove its truth by forcible example, she adduced the instance of a young woman of her ac- quaintance who would persist in going to church to hear her banns asked out," and whose six children were in consequence all born deaf and dumb. No wonder, then, that our village maidens stay away from church on those three interesting Sundays, when such sad results are known to follow a deviation from our country parish superstitious observancés. Once a Week. GHTFFONNIERS AT HOME.—" I had gone one day" (says a visitor of the poor) to Citt! Dore, to visit a family of chiffonniers.' I found the whole of them occupying a single room, together with dogs, cats, rats, mice, to say nothing of spiders, and yet smaller insects. These varieties of animal nature were all living together in perfect harmony-the fact being the that the cats and dogs were so surfeited with the game they are so fond of hunting, that, with true sportsman- like taste, they preferred any other food; and they were therefore on very good terms with each other. The mother of the family hospitably offered me the single chair the room afforded; it was rickety, and the seat nearly through but I took it without ceremony, and sate about half an hour talking to them. When I rose to take leave, it seemed to me that my pocket felt, not (as might have been expected) lighter, but very much heavier than usual. I immediately thrust in my hand to ascertain the cause, when an enormous rat, one of the finest I had ever seen, jumped out, and, running across the floor, disappeared."—Realities of Paris Life. SHORT RULES FOR STUDENT LIFE.—Good meals at moderate intervals, and the stomach left at rest between some interval—an interval of active exercise is best-between books and food. A leisure hour for dinner, and cheerful corversation after it. A short nap, for those who need or like it, after dinner. Light occupation in the evening—literature or correspondence, with more or less social intercourse, music, or other recreation. These are each and all highly desirable; bat the most indispensable of all is strenuous and varied bodily exercise.—Miss Martineau, in Once a Week. FEMALE EMPLOYMENT.—I did not sympathise with a letter which "S. G. 0." lately published in the Times, in which he urged that people with no more than three hundred a year should at once resolve to send their daughters out as menial servants, instead of fighting for the position of ladies for them. I thought, and I think, that that letter showed less than its author's usual genial feeling, less than his usual sound sense. Kind and judicious men will probably believe that a man's or woman's resistance to Social Coming Down, and especially to Social Giving Up, is deserving of all respect and sympathy. A poor cler- gyman, or a poor military man, may have no more than three hundred a year; but I heartily venerate his endeavours to preserve his girls from the society of the servants' hall and the delicate attentions of Jeames. The world may yet think differently, and manual or menial work may be recognised as not involving Social Giving Up; but meanwhile the step is a vast one between the poorest governess and the plumpest housemaid.—" Giving Up and Coming Down," in Fraser 's Magazine. UNPLEASANT RECEPTION.—" Bill, did you ever go to sea?" "I gjess I did; last year, for instance, I went to see a red-headed girl, but I only called once." "Why so?" "Because her brother had an unpleasant habit of throwing boot-jacks and flat-irons at people." THE NEGRO UNIFORM.—The Charleston people are calling for the revival of the laws of 1740 and 1783, regulating negro costume, which have been allowed for so long a time to become obsolete that in matters of dress the distinction between master and slave is abo- lished. It will not do," says a correspondent of the Charleston Courier, "to hoodwink our eyes to what vitally concerns the future peace and well-being of the community. The love of dress in the negro may be considered as the parent of all the other vices, destroy- ing the virtue of the females, and rendering both sexes insufferably impertinent. The most expensive fabrics in our dry-goods stores are now sold to coloured females, so that the only distinguishing mark between the lady and her maid is, that the latter flaunts the most elegant dresses upon the streets. Let us, then, return to the good old times' when these ebon dames neither preserved their complexion from a darker shade, by wearing 'uglies' and veils, nor swept the sidewalks with their rich brocades and silks, and when the dandy barber and tailor boy did not support his 'puppy sft.tch,' or perfume the air with his fragrant weed." WHY THE ENGLISH ARE UNPOPULAR ABROAD.— "A traveller in Spain," who complains in the Times of the prejudice against the English in Spain, has the bad judgment to mention an example which too well accounts for the dislike of which he complains :—" An Englishman inMurcia some days since asked his way to the cathedral of a Spanish gentleman, who most courteously con- ducted him. On reaching the door the sacristan was not to be found, and the Spaniard kindly offered to go for him, but doubted his coming, as it was past the usual hour. Tell the sacristan," said the stranger, that an Englishman does not ask people to work for nothing." English P said the hitherto courteous Spaniard, "English, are you? ThenTsMtll not stir a step for you. The English are all bad. I hate them all. Remo istrance T 7as useless. "An Englishman does not ask people to wo k for nothing." We fancy we hear the pompous voice, and see the purse-proud look with which these words were delivered, and thereupon qi te right was the Spaniard to withdraw his services, though he gave an illiberal and bad reason for it. It is too much the habit of our countrymen abroad to vaunt that an Englishman does this aud does not do it, not perceiving that this sort of arrogant boast implies an effront to other nations. EFFECT OF BLUE WINDOW-GLASS.—If green leaves are viewed through the ordinary blue glass used in ornamental windows, when the sun is shining, all tJ'ose through which the light is transmitted appear orPAige red, while those from which it is reflected appear of a greyish tint. On a favourable day trees so observed seem covered with brilliant blossoms. AMERICAN POLITICIANS.—At Cincinnati I at- tended a great; political Convention, where 2,000 people kept a noisy order in their entanglement of politics. The presiding genius was a long Yankee, who took off Ms coat, and appeared in his shirt-sleeves, without any apology. The whole affair would be a". utter imuos- sibihty away from America. Every gentleman and well-er seated man (a.nd, by the way, they are mar- vellously fevv) abjures politics, and, in proportion to his se "ise, appears anxious to assure you he is not a politician. The land is ruled by a very indifferent set of men. raised to a brief power by hired underlings, who m"ke it their daily ca'ing. No one thing rore- bodes worse for these great: people than the absence Of men of probiiy a> d talent from theirpolitics.—"Our Broihas and Cousv.is" by J. Macgrcgor. MISS MARTINEAU ON EARLY RISING.-I speak from experience here. For thirty years my business has lain in my study. The practice of early rising was, I am confident, the grand preservative of health, through many years of hard work—the hours gained I being given not to book or pen, but to activity. I rose at six, summer and. winter; and (after cold bathing) went out for a walk in all weathers. In the coldest season, on the rainiest morning, I never returned with- out being glad that I went. I need not detail the pleasures of the summer mornings. In winter, there was either a fragment of gibbous moon hanging over the mountain, or some star quivering in the river, or icicles beginning to shine in the dawn, or, at worst, some break in the clouds, some moss on the wall, some gleam on the water, which I carried home in the shape of refreshment. I breakfasted at half-past seven, and had settled household business and was at my work by half-past eight, fortified for seven hours' continuous desk work, without injury or fatigue.- Once a Week. ANIMAL LIFE IN THE TROPICAL SEAS.—The tropical sea, at least in our track, however it might afford specimens of animalculae or minute radiata to interest the naturalist, was obviously barren, most barren in the supplies needful for the support of the innumerable myriads of medusas, cancri, clios, &c., which in their turn constitute the food, and form the pasture ground," of the mysticetus for this pasture ground in the Greenland seas is conspicuous, in turbid waters of a deep olive-green colour, to the least obser- vant fisherman. He never expects "fish," at least he does not expect to find them in repose, as at home, in blue water, such as we have almost had within the tropics. Flying-fish constituted almost the only con- spicuous form of life we had seen in any frequency within the tropics. With these we might, no doubt, have seen their persecutors-the bonito, the dolphin, and the shark—had our speed been sufficiently slow; but rarely going less than seven knots, these larger species could not easily keep up with us.—Dr. Scoresby's Voyage to Australia. TAKING SNUFF.—In the memoirs of Barre Charles Roberts, he says, When my father was at Paris in 1774, he was told by Count Clouard, then an old man, that he remembered a time when persons were stationed on the Pont Neuf, at Paris, with boxes of snuff, which they offered to the passengers. This was a scheme of the manufacturers to introduce it into general use. At the time this was told my father, there was no person in France, of whatever age, rank, or sex, that did not take snuff." With our brothers of Scotland snuff has found much favour; they are so far identified with its use, that a figure of a Highlander helping himself to a pinch was generally sculptured in wood, and placed as a "sign" beside the snuff-shop doors, until within the last thirty years, when such distinction ceased. These figures were sometimes the size of life, painted in natural colours, and placed at the door-jamb. The Scots have well earned their distinction; for, in' Scotland alone, according to the computation of the late Rev. Dr. Chalmers, the people lay out six thousand pounds per year on snuff-a reckoning probably within the mark.-Fairholt on Tobacco. THE IRISH AND THE DIVORCE TRTBUNAL.- In the course of a trial last week in the Irish Court of Queen's Bench, arising out of a case of wife-desertion, some opinions transpired not very favourable to the working of the Divorce Court. For instance:— The Chief Justice: He (the defendant) might have gone into the Divorce Court and stated he was tired of the mar- riage, and tried to get rid of it in that way. Mr. Holleston: Fortunately the Divorce Court does not extend to Ireland. The Chief Justice Well, then, they might have gone to England, for I understand they have jurisdiction there over our Irish marriages. Mr. Serjeant O'Hagan: We have not got a Divorce Court in Ireland yet. The Chief Justice And I hope we never will. Mr. Serjeant O'Hagan: It is the greatest sign of the decadence of public morals, and I say it with all deference to the Legislature which passed the Act, and the judges who administer it. This is something like Irish unanimity, which is said to be as remarkable as it is rare. A COMMERCIAL PATRIARCH.—The Beaune jour- nals announce the death, three days ago, of an eminent inhabitant of the town, M. Bouchard. He was born on the 3rd of April, 1759, and was consequently up- wards of 100 years of age. He was noted through his long life for his integrity as a commercial man. He, at different times, held various local offices, such as president and member of Tribunal of Commerce, mem- ber of the municipal council, director of hospitals, &c., and in each he displayed capacity and zeal. His funeral was attended by the entire population of the town, and the cords of the pall were held by M. Guiod, mayor of Beaune; M. Villiard, president of the Tribunal of Commerce; M. Molin, juge de paix; and M. Maire, president of the Commercial Club. M. Morelot, dean of the Faculty of Law at Dijon, dalivered over the grave an eloquent address, narrating the career and eulogising the virtues of the deceased. AN AUSTRIAN CITY WITHOUT POLICE.—The necessity to reinforce the police at Verona seems to have left no choice to the Austrian authorities, but to deprive some other town of that blessed institution, and the selection has fallen upon Gratz, the capital of Styria, a city of nearly 70,000 inhabitants, and the seat of a university. The police of Gratz are all off for Verona, and there is now no police in Gratz. The people of Gratz, during the last few days, have been looking at each other, have shrugged their shoulders, and shown the white of their eyes, and have been lamentingWhat is to become of us without police ?" But, strange to say, sinoe the police are gone, whom all the people went and saw off at the railway-station, no offence against public security whatever has come to the knowledge of the public. Perhaps the explanation is, that malefactors are more afraid of a people without police, than of the police itself.

wtmwji—ilium"" n mm, AMERICAN HUMOUR. Under the appropriate heading of Wit and Humour in paragraphs," an American contemporary collates the follow- ing:— "Steel your heart," said a considerate father to his son, ^or you are 8°inS 110 w among some fascinating girl's." I hacl much'rather steal theirs," said the un- promising young man. Compliments, carried to an extravagant extent, be- come rude offences. There is a material difference be- tween prettily asking for a lock of hair, and taking the whole scalp. A sceptic thinks it very extraordinary that an ass once talked like a man. Isn't it still more extraordi- nary that thousands of men are continually talking like asses ? A- popular author exclaims: "What a pity some quadrupeds can't talk!" We are rather disposed to say, What .a pity some bipeds can!" Dull writers should be careful not to steal brilliant passages, lest the brilliancy betray them by the con- trast. A fellow stole a fish in the market-place, and slipped it under his vest. A gentleman, meeting him, as he passed out, and seeing several inches of the tail below his vest, advised him 'either to wear a longer jacket or to steal a shorter fish. There is a man in Exeter whose memory is so short that it only reaches to his knees. Per consequence, he has not paid for his last pair of boots. The editor of the Eastern Argus is melancholy in his reflections upon the close of the year. He says he shall soon be lying in his grave. When he gets there, it will be time for him to stop lying. The ruling passion is lr often strong in death, but seldom after it. The editor of the Globe says that he "hopes to reach the truth." He is laying out for himself a long journey. He had better make his will before he starts. The editor of the —— Star says that he has never murdered the truth. He never gets near enough to do any bodily harm. The editor of the New Orleans Republican says that he "rarely takes the air." The fellow seems very sparing in the use of the elements-taking the air seldom and water never. A democratic editor in Indiana threatens to handle us <{ without gloves." We would certainly never think of handling him without at least three pairs, and thick ones at that. A distinguished English novelist has recorded that in travelling through the United States, he found but one hotel where here he was supplied with water enough, to wash himself. He must be a dirty fellow, if ever there was one. The sheriff of Lincoln County asks why we do not come and kick him. Dr. Johnson said of certain curi- osities in Scotland, that they were worth seeing, but not worth going to see. In like manner we say of the Lincoln sheriff—be is worth kiclrng, but not worth going to kick. A political opponent says that we have twisted his arguments till they are no longer his but our own. Sup- pose we were twist his nose-would it become our nose instead of his ? The editor of the Mercury says, "everything must have an end." He, no doubt, has two—one to be cuffed, and the other kicked. John H. Story, a locofoco editor of Minnesota, was personally punished the other day for a libel on a bro- ther editor. There are two sides to every story, and one of John's has been kicked. The editor of a Wisconsin paper speak of a place where he says "brass coin passes as money." He had better emigrate there. There his face would always be "good for a drink." A certain editor, who has had a controversy with us, suggests that he and we look each other in the face. But he would have the advantage of us; he would have much the better prospect. A very plain gentleman of our acquaintance, against whom a suit of law has been brought, declares that he means to appear personally in his own favour. We must assure him, in all kindness, that his personal ap- pearance is never in his favour.

SELF-ESTEEM. ♦ Wisdom Comes Down Folly Gives Up. Wisdom, I say, Comes Down; for I think there can be little doubt that most men, in order to think rightly of them- selves, must come to think much more humbly of them- selves than they are naturally disposed to do. Few men estimate themselves too lowly. Even people who lack confidence in themselves are not without a great measure of latent self-esteem; and, indeed, it is natural enough that men should rate themselves too high, till experience compels them to Come Down. I am talking of even sensible and worthy men. They know they have worked hard; they know that what they have done has cost them great pains they look with instinct- ive partiality at the results they have accomplished; they are sure these results are good, and they do not know how good till they learn by comparative trial. But when the comparative trial comes, there are few who do not meet their match—few who do not find it needful to Come Down. Perhaps even Shakspeare felt he must Come Down a little, when he looked into one or two of Christopher Marlowe's plays. Clever boys at school, and clever lads at college, naturally think their own little circle of the cleverest boys or lads to contain some of the cleverest fellows ia the world. They know I.e how well they can do many things, and how hard they have worked to do them so well. Of course they w "U have to Come Down, after longer experience of life. It is not that the set who ranked first among their young companions are not clever fellows; but the world is wide, and its population is big, and they will fall in with cleverer fellows sel. It is not that the head boy does not write Greek Iambics well, but it v. go hard but somewhere he v. find some one who will write them better. They are rare exceptions in the race of mankind who, however good they maybe, and however adir rably they may do some one thing, will not some day meet their match-meet their superior, and so have pamfu^.y to Come Down. And, so far as my own ex- perience has gone, I have found that the very, very few, who never meet a Taking Down, who are f rst at school, then first at co"ege, then first in life, seem by God's appointment to have been so happily framed that they could do without it; that to think justly of themselves they did not need to Come Down; toat their modesty anu humility equalled their merit; and that (though not unconscious of their powers and their success) they remained, amid the incense of applause which woild have intoxicated others, unaffected, genial, and un- spoiled.—" Giving Upland Coming Dawn," in Fraser's Magazine.

"THE FIRST GENTLEMAN IN EUROPE." It would seem, from the Cornwallis coidespondence, that the English were just in their estimation of that bad man. H.R.H. having quarrelled shamefully with his parents, and with Pitt, had thrown himself into the hands of the Opposition, and appears to have corre- sponded occasionally with Cornwallis, who had two votes at his command in the Commons, during that nobleman's first Indian admir oration. In 1790, Lord Cornwallis, writing to his brother, the Bishop of Lich- field and Coventry, says You tell me that I am accused of being remiss in my correspondence with a certain great personage. Nothing can be more false, for I have answered every letter from him by the first ship that sailed from hence after I received it. The style of them, although personally kind to excess, has not been very agreeable to me, as they have always pressed upon me some infamous and unjustifiable job, which I have uniformly been obliged to refuse, and contained much gross and false abuse of Mr. Pitt, and improper charges against other and greater personages, about whom, to me at least, he ought to be s;lent." Three or four of the Prince of Wales's letters are given at length. They all prove "the first gentlemen and scholar of his day" to have been a very illiterate and unscrupulous jobber. In one of them he proposed to the Governor-General to displace a black, named Alii Cann," who was chief criminal judge of Benares, in order that a youth, named Pellegrine Treves, the son of a notorious London money-lender, might be ap- pointed to that office. Lord Cornwallis replied, that Ali Ibrahim Khan, though a native, was one of the most able and respected public servants in India, and that it-would be a most difficult and unpopular step to remove him; and that even if his post were vacant, the youth and inexperience of the money-lender's son ren- dered him utterly ineligible for such an important trust. One of the causes of complaint which H.R.H. urged against his royal parent was, that he, also, was not entrusted with higher military corama;nd.- Cornhill Magazine..

THE PARIS CATACOMBS. The annual ceremony of visiting on of the greatest curiosities in Paris is thus described b3 she correspondent of a contemporary :— In accordance with annual custom some engineers of the. municipality a few days ago visited the catacombs which extend to a considerable distance beneath Paris on the left bank of the river. The object of the visit was to ascertain that the arches, pillars, &c., which support the roof remain perfectly solid.. The engineers were accompanied by some gentlemen and ladies; and i. is only on the occasion of these annual inspections that the catacombs can be visitel at a1' The entrance is in the courtyard of what was formerly the octroi-office of the Bairiere d'Enfer. It is closed by a thick door, and the cata- combs are reached by a long narrow staircase, descend- ing about 70 feet. A man at the door counts the persons who ent3r, and gives each a lighted candle, which he is required constantly to carry. At the bottom of the staircase is a long narrow gallery, the sides and roof of which are supported by masonry. This gallery, in which oidy two persons can walk abreast, leads to a spacious vault beneath the Plaine de Mont Souis, and in which vault are. collected the bones formerly removed from the old ceme- teries of Paris. Near the entrance to the vault is the inscription N'insultez pas aux maines des moris About twenty minutes are occupied in reaching this spot, and it is generally remarked that the visitors, in- fluenced by the strangeness of the situation and by the peculiar odour which prevails, soon become s?rious and silent. In the vault tie bones are piled up 7"e wood in a timber-yard- id galleries are formed ;1 them for visitors to pass alot? j. The bones are auacged a regular order to the height of S'x feet, the larger bones being outside, and the sliulls being placed on the top. Here and there are inscriptions indicating from what cemeteries the bones were brought, and also scraps of verse from different poets. There is one onomous heap of bones which has not yet been classified, it is calculated that no fewer than 3,000,000 persons must have been interred in the cemeteries from which the bones were removed. In the vault are some subter- ranean springs, which have been co"ected in a basin c "ed the Fontaine de la Semaritaine. In this fountain some gold fish were placed in 18.13; they lived for a long time, but did not breed. In the other patos of the catacombs the galleries are very numerous, and one of them is nearly five miles long.

ENGLAND'S METEOPOLIS. The author of that capital series of papers called "The Season Ticket," iujthe Dublin University Magazine, gives the following pen-and-ink photograph of London: "The more I see of this great capital," observed the senator, the more astorished I am at its population and wealth. Places of public resort, of every descrip- tion, are thronged with people, and the crowds that frequent and fill them do not perceptibly diminish the multitudes that are usually seen in the fashionable streets or business thoroughfares. The number of private carriages abroad during n, fine d",y in the season is almost incredible. There are every'hir,- ;;1', ices of great opulence in this metropolis that attract and astonish a stranger. The city appears to him like a large estuary, receiving tributary streams of wealth from all parts of the globe, and discharging an increasing flood of riches in return; the region between that and Bond-street as the emporium of everything that is = "coSly and rare, ar^ the"West-end aslhe^ta^y ab^k f of people of rank and fortune. AH this is perceptible aqWgLanC\ aiK a cu1rsory survey fills his mind with astonishment, but on closer inspection he finds that he has seen only the surxace of thmgs. As hfe pursues his for the cityis a vast warehouse nv- tl!;ifUK y otJke,W\°H world 5 that its merchants +-wjri the public stock of every civilised nation; that tnere are docks and depositories underneath the surface, containing untold and inconceivable wealth; and that the shop windows in the streets of fashionable resort, I tnough they glitter with gold and silver, or are decked wthsuks, sauins, laces, shawls, and the choicest and most expensive merchandise, convey but a very in- the hoards that are necessarily packed mto the smallest possible space, and stored away in the lofts above, or the vaults beneath. < w £ fUriwir!>g, ¥s in(luiries in what is called the i i? ke finds that the stately mansions he beholds there are the mere town residences during the season,' of a class who have enormous estates in the country, with princely palaces, castles, and halls, and that there are amongst them one thousand individuals, whose united property would more than extinguish the national debt. Such is the London of which he has read and heard so much, the centre of the whole commercial world, the exchange where potentates negotiate loans for the purpose of war and peace, the seat of the arts and sciences, and the > source of all the civilisation and freedom that is to be found m the world. But great, and rich, and powerful as it is it does not stand in the same relation to England as Paris does to France; it is independent but not omnipotent; there are other towns only second, to it in population and capital, such as Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham,'Glasgow, and others, of which K the wealth is almost fabulous. Well may an En -Hsu- "r n!a? proud his country. In every quarter of the globe he finds it is stamping the impress of its fang uage, ius institutions, and its freedom. You and I, who have travelled so far and seen so much, have beheld yonder British soldier at Gibraltar, Malta, and Corfu, at the Cape, the pores of the East Indies, Hongkong, Aus- tralia, and New Zealand, in the West Indies, and New- foundland, Halifax, Quebec, and the shores of the Pacmc. Great Britain fins but a small place on the map, but owns and occupies a large portion of the globe.

THE STRUGGLES OF A SELF-TAUGHT LINGUIST. Not even the admirable Self-Help" of Mr. Samuel Smiles contains a more interesting specimen oJ: the triumph of genius over difficulties than is presented in the following sketch by a writer in the Leisure Hour. It affords a most admirable example of what "self-help" and indomitable per- severance may accomplish, and is well worthy of more ex- tended publicity Many years ago, while attending one of the elemen- tary Greek classes at Edinburgh University, there sat on the same bench with me a country lad, so raw and uncouth that even I, who had no pretensions to rank and appearance, used to wonder at my strange-looking f neighbour. Not many years afterwards, thy gro- tesque rustic bcoame Dr. Alexander Murray, Professor a f1rt1x- guages in the University of Edinburgh. At the time I speak of, Murray was about three- and-twenty, and the rest of the class averaged from fifteen to eighteen years of age. Be had acquired, with great labour, the degree of the knowledge of Greek which quahfied him to sit among us. His father, who was a poor Galloway shepherd, and an old man when Murray. was born, remembered the times of the battle of SherifF- muir, having been born in the year 1708. He bought for the child a catechism, no doubt the "Shorter Catechism," which stills plays so important a part in Scottish education, and began to teach him the alpha- bet. Next succeeded a psalm-book, the New Testa- ment, and the Bible, as he called the Old Testament, and he soon astonished the neighbours by reciting large passages of Scripture to them, and acquired great fame for his reading, and was called a living miracle for his great memory. All his father's sons had been bred shepherds, and he meant to employ Alexander in that line, and, often blamed him for laziness and uselessness because he was a bad and neg- ligent herd-boy. The fact is, he was always a weakly child; not unhealthy, but yet not stout. He was short-sighted, a defect his father did not know; which was often the occasion of blunders when he was sent to look for cattle. He taught himself to write by copy- ing"the letters on a board with coals, or the black end of an extinguished heather stem or root. For some years he spent on ballads and penny histories every sixpence I that friends or strangers gave himf He -was for a short period at the school of New Galloway; and in time he was allowed to follow his inclination for read- ing, and to go about the country, sometimes boiiig taught, and borrowing books from whoever would lend. them. He got immense benefit from" Salmon's Geographical Grammar." He often admired anal mused on the specimens of the Lord's Prayer in e\"e^y language found in Salmon's Grammar. From this, and Bailey's Dictionary," a Welsh history of Christ and his Apostles, and similar sources, he picked up the Anglo-Saxon, the Visigothic, the German, the Welsh, the Abyssinian, and the Arabic. He had been early informed by some elders and good religious people, that Hebrew was the first language, and in 1789 an old woman showed him her psalm-book which was printed with a large type, had notes on each page, and likewise what he discovered to be the Hebrew alphabet marked letter after letter in the hundred and nineteenth Psalm. He took a copy of these letters, by printing them off in his odd way, and kept them. In 1791, he determined to learn Hebrew, and, by the man s, who rode post, sent to Edinburgh for a Hebrew Gram- mar. He had long known the alphabet; he soon mastered the points, and in the course of a month got into the whole system of Jewish grammar. He had difficulty 'kat*11 anc^ Greek before this, with no great In 1794, he went to Dumfries with a collection of p-ems composed by himself, chiefly in the Scottish dialect, to try if he could raise a little money by their publication, and so get to college. Neither of the two booksellers in that town would undertake the publica- tion. During the visit to Dumfries, he was introduced d to Robert Burns, who treated, him with great kindness told him that if he could get to college without PLlb- lishing his poems it would be better, as his t^a was young and not formed, and ha would be ashamed of his productions when he could judge and write better. In the summer of that year, a friend of his, of the name of McH ay, was in Edinburgh, and, describing his situation to James Kinnear, a journeypian printer, was told that if Murray could be brought int.o.town, Dr..Baird ami other gentlemen would take notice of T^mV> Accordingly, with a letter of introduqtion to Dr. Baird, from Mr. Maitland, the minister of Min- mgaff, he came to Edinburgh, was kindly received by the Principal, and by his instrumentality procured a university education; and hence my vicinity to him as a class-fellow at Professor Dalzel's. That I was not the only perso-n who was startled by his uncouth aspect is manifest fr.om an anecdote related by Mr. Strange, a Relief minister. "Some time in the summer of 1796,1 was taking: a forenoon's ride for two or three miles beyond the vil tage of Minnigaff. In ascending a hilly part of the roa< i I dismounted, and leading my horse, the day being warm, my attention was attracted by a ragged boy, sit ;ting upon the heath, reading. Being in no hurry, and i) spelled by curiosity, I drew near and spoke to him. Olbserving a number of books lying around him, I lifted cine, and, opening it, found it to be Virgil. I desired h im to read the first eclogue, and he did so at once. I asked him if he knew me he said he did. I asked if he knew where I lived; he replied, yes. I requested hum to call on Friday night, at six o'clock, to tea. He c'ai ne but judge Mrs. Strange's astonishment When" Mui 'ray appeared, and announced his invitation. Having intentionally con- cealed the circumstance of our interview, she was horrified at the idea of my folly in roauestmg a beggar- boy, bare-footed, clothed in rags, of whom she had heard, to drink tea. However, after1 a little explana- tion, she was satisfied, and he was e ntertamed with a hearty welcome. When he tasted tile tea, he said it was the first he had aver drank, and -bought it smelt like new-mown hay." ,r r Having completed his studies at the University, he, in 1806 became minister of the parish of Urr, in his native county. He continued there til 11812, when he became candidate for the Hebrew Chair in the College of Edinburgh. His chief opponents we re the ministers of Edinburgh, as one of their number w. as also a candi- date, and the office had generally been filled by one of their body. Several of the ministers being also pro- fessors, and members of the Senatus A ^cademicus, of which Dr. Baird was principal^ flowed ti'neir feeling by absenting themselves from the meetings. On one oc- casion, when Dr. Baird was absent, it set smed as if the Senatus could not be constituted, as H was usually done, by the principal pronouncing a pr £ vyer but the manly form of Dr. Gregory stalked forward, and said there should be no difficulty on-that score, f°r he would open the meeting with prayer. According ly, he re cited a Latin prayer, which he used to hear from the Prin- cipal Robertson in his student days, and the business proceeded. Murray was appointed, with the general approbation and high hopes of the learned world, both as to what i he would do in his class-room, and as this author of various works on the science of language, more pro- foundly learned than any that had hitherto■ appeared. Finding that the Scottish clergy did not p ay that at- tention to Hebrew which he thought they ^hould do he us* <1 to ask his students what they would think ot themselves, if having engaged to lecture and comment upon Homer once every week, they should be obliged to confess that they could not read Greek. Unfortunately, the weakly constitution o:i: this ex- triordinarv genius sank under the fatigues ol: his first ■•'ion. Consumption manifested itself; anil he died universally and deeply lamented, in April, 181.3, before he had completed his thirty-eighth year. JSfo communications can be insr.d unless authenticated by the name and address of writer.