The Illustrated Usk Observer and Raglan Herald

AGRICULTURE. THE following are said to be the dimensions of Garibaldi, the Champion Pig," which is now being shown by its breeder at Park-place, Park-road, Clapham. He is 22 months old, 9ft. long-, 3ft. 6in. high, 7ft. round the body, and 4ft. round the jowl. p w His owner says "there is room to make him 150 ttone." A CASE of some importance to managers and exhi- bitors at poultry shows has just been decided in the Woodbridge County Court. The action was brought, by a person named Payne, to recover 8s., from the defendant, Dallenger, which arose in the following way:-On the 26th and 27th of May there was a poultry show at Woodbridge, and among the events advertised to come off was a sweepstakes for Dorking cocks, thus set forth in the programme :—" A sweep- stakes of 7s. 6d. each will be opened for Dorking cocks, of any colour, the stakes to be disposed of (after deducting 5s. from each entry for hire of pens, &c.) in the same proportions as in the game-cock class." Mr. Payne, the plaintiff, entered a Dorking cock for the sweepstakes, and there being no other entry was awarded the prize and had 2s. 6d. sent to him, which he received. Not satisfied with this, Mr. Payne brought this action to recover 3s. for the ex- pense ef sending the cock, and 5s., the residue of the 7s. 6d. paid by him when he entered the bird. The first sum Mr. Payne contended he was entitled to recover, because the defendants, as soon as they knew that there was no other entry for the Dorking cock sweepstakes, ought to have given him notice of the fact; and the 5s. he claimed because, he contended, there being only one entry, there was, literally, no sweep- stakes at all, and therefore the whole of the entrance- money ought to have been returned. The defendants, however, contended that the plaintiff had entered his bird subject to the rules and regulations of the society, undsr which they were entitled to retain 5s. for the entry, and that they were not bound to inform him that there was only one entry. His Honour, who reserved his judgment, gave his decision in writing on Monday last. After stating the facts of the case, he said it was clear that the entry was made subject to the rules of the show, as the form of entry signed by the plaintiff expressly stated such to to be the case. 'Nothing in the regulations reqaired the defendants to give Mr. Payne notice of there being but one entry, therefore the claim of 3s. fell to the ground; and, as to the 5s., the defendants were justified in retaining it, in compliance with the regu- lations. Judgment, therefore, went for the de- fendants. THE Chesham Michaelmas fair for the sale of geese, cattle, and onions was well supplied this y ear with goodly speeimens of the feathered tribe. In the cattle market little business was transacted except in cows, and these were in great demand. The fair opened with dulness, but the market afterwards assumed con- siderable briskness. Some sales of large beasts were effected at prices varying from X12 to £ 15; inferior ditto, < £ 10 to £13; small ditto and Welsh cattle, < £ 7 to £10. Cows in full milk, X17 to £23; cows with calves by their sides, £ 18 to < £ 25; cows in calf, X14 to < £ 18. In the geese market business was extremely brisk. Several ftocks of fat geese were SQ1&, realising from 5a. to 7s. each.; inferior birds averaged about 4s. each; and young geese and goslings from 3s. to 5s. each. The onion market was well supplied, and ( moderate rates were obtained. Apoplexy in Cattle. Mr. Lupton, the celebrated veterinary surgeon, gives the following useful information in the Field:- Splenic apoplexy (he says) is a malady common to cattle, consequent upon a plethoric state of the animal system. Plethora, or general excess of blood, is the result either of too much blood being made, or too little being expended; but in each case a super- abundance of blood exists in the system, and, of course, the heart and blood-vessels become overloaded. But, although this state is productive of disease, of haemorrhages occurring in different parts of the body, yet excess of blood indicates the existence of blooming health, that the functions of digestion and assimila- tion are successfully performed, for an animal suffer- ing from constitutional weakness never becomes ple- thoric. The man most liable to plethora is he who has a good appetite, and indulges it, whose digestive and assimilative powers are active, who walks little and sleeps much: with such a one often the red face manifests to what extent the blood-vessels are dis- tended. When the heart labours heavily, the breath- ing becomes short, especially after any physical exer- tion. This state is produced gradually, without interfering materially with the vital functions; yet without im- mediate relief life itself is in danger, and to preserve which nature effects a temporary cure by removing the high pressure in bringing on diarrhoea, bleeding from the nose, &c.; or some ailment—such as gout or gravel, which demands for its eradication self-disci- pline, in the shape of moderate living-often stops the disastrous progress of plethora. But nature some- times, in her efforts to relieve, acts injuriously—for instance, rupture of an important organ like the liver, or of some blood-vessels on the brain, or of the spleen, causes death. In general plethora, no rule can be laid down why the liver in one case, the spleen in another, and the blood-vessels in a third, should be ruptured, excepting that, according to a physical law, these organs are more overloaded at the time of rupture than other parts of the body. No particular plethora, if it may so be expressed, determines whether the coats of the liver, or the blood-vessels, shall be broken through; but that excess of blood does produce rup- ture of parts containing it, is proved by post-mortem revelations—examinations consequent upon cases of sudden death. Splenic apoplexy, as its name .suggests, consists in undue distension of the spleen, tel minating often in its rupture. This disease attacks, not the lean ox, but the one fattening in the stall; or, in other words, one in a starte of plethora. In 1843, Mr. Meggins, Sussex, brought before the members of the Veterinary Medical Association several cases of death in oxen and colts, evidently from this disease; and from other reports it is evident that it existed some years previously to 1859, at which period it was first recognised in England by the term splenic apoplexy. We are indebted to Dr. Crisp for the most elaborate researches in this malady; he cites the opinions of several eminent veterinarians, who consider that splenic apoplexy is the result of plethora caused by over-feeding, whether it be in the > talis or from too luxuriant pastures. It occurs, moreover, frequently in malarious -districts, but then only among plethoric cattle—noticed by the fact that lean cattle under the influence of similar circumstances escape. Ill-drained yards and badly-ventilated stalls favour its increase when the exciting cause, plethora, is present, similarly as a neglect of hygienic laws will produce other affec- tions. Feeding upon meals and oil-cake, and succulent food, where little water is drunk, tends to produce plethora and favour the existence of splenic apoplexy. Post Mortem Considerations.—Men after handling the spleen taken from subjects of this disease have had their hands poisoned by it to such an extent as to pre- vent their using them for several weeks. Cats and pigs have died after eating it. It, therefore, is de- manded that all such refuse should be burnt, or other- wise destroyed, as matter utterly unfit for the hog-tub or for food of carnivorous animals. Treatment.-Dr. Crisp advises the abstraction and transfusion of blood from healthy to diseased animals. This, together with mild aperients and diuretics, with the judicious administration of stimulants, will prove good practice. When a few animals in a stall are attacked with this malady, the supply of food to the healthy should be diminished, after which small doses j of quinine will act as preventives. So fatally does this malady run its course that it rarely gives any monitory J symptoms of its existence. The animal, in seeming j blooming health to-day, lies dead the next morning, as the result of plethora and its sequent ruptured spleen consequently prevention must be resorted to, which consists in feeding moderately, giving plenty of good water, and occasionally administering small doses of Epsom salts and nitre. This, together with due attention to hygienic laws, which cannot be neglected with impunity, will prevent many maladies, and will most certainly preserve the well-being of stock.

SINGULAR QUARREL BETWEEN A NOBLBJ LANDLORD AND A LADY PROPRIETRESS. Lord Kinnaird having prevented a proposed match on his grounds between the Inchmartine and Rossie Cricket Clubs, his chief reason for doing so being that the too free use of spirituous liquors at such matches was calculated to lead to habits of intemperance, the members of the Inchmartine Curling and Cricket Clubs considered the terms of his lordship's letter intimating that the match could not take place on the Rossie Priory to be insulting to them, and the office bearers of these clubs wrote to his lordship demanding an ex- planation. His lordship replied very curtly indeed; and on the receipt of his letter a meeting of the Inch- martine Curling and Cricket Clubs was called. The meeting was very largely attended. Apologies for unavoidable absence were read from Sir John Douglas, K.C.B., assistant adjutant-general; Captain Allen Allen; the Rev. Mr. Honey, of Inchture; and from other gentlemen. The chair was occupied by Douglas Vaughan Allen, Esq., Inchmartine and the Perthshire Journal gives the following report of the proceedings:- The Chairman having explained the cause of the calling of the meeting, asked the secretary to read the correspondence. He did so, and read also a letter from the secretaries of the Curling and Cricket Clubs of Inchmartine to Lord Kinnaird. The letters having been read, The Chairman then said that he confidently put himself into the hands of the members of both clubs, and that he would heartily co-operate in whatever they might agree to do. Mr. Anderson, Middlebank, then rose, and after some preliminary remarks, said: You have heard Lord Kinnaird's letter read; you have heard the terms in which he speaks of your conduct on the ice and on the cricket field, and indirectly accuses us of intemperance. Gentlemen, I defy the noble lord to bring forward a single instance of intoxioation on either the one or the other (applause). Had we ourselves, gentlemen, been the sole parties implicated, the matter would very easily have been settled, and in a manner not at all to his lordship's liking; but he has most unwarrantably, and in a very ungentlemanlike way, endeavoured to cast a slur upon a lady with whom we are connected as patroness of our clubs, and as the mother and guardian of our young laird-I refer to Mrs. Fergusson Blair (hear, hear). At Inchmartine, during our friendly matches with clubs coming from a distance, the brewer's cart is not allowed on the grounds for the sale of liquors, as at Rossie. Everything, whether in the shape of eatables or drinkables is kindly and most cordially supplied by Mrs. Fergusson Blair; so that when Lord Kinnaird in his letter refers to the use of ardent spirits at Inchmartine, his meaningcan only be to find fault with Mrs. Blair's liberality, and tries to screen himself by saying that such liberality is injurious to young men. Gentlemen, it will be a long time—a very long time-before any one finds fault with Lord Kin- naird upon that score. Everywhere, save at Rossie, we receive the same kind hospitality, which we endea- vour to repay, and which is now made the subject of reproach to us. It is a very cheap way of purchasing pupularity to invite chimney.sweeps-(laughter)-or others to one's grounds, to give them tea and cookies, and to make them long speeches to appear at full length in the public prints—(renewed laughter)-but it is another and far more difficult thing to raise up and to maintain a cordial feeling among the people on one's own estates (hear, hear). This, you will all agree, Mrs. Fergusson Blair and her son, Mr Allen, have most effectually done (hear, hear). I don't know that I can say as much for Lord Kinnaird. The speaker concluded by moving resolutions condemnatory of Lord Kinnaird's conduct. Mr. Sinclair, Westmill, in a few remarks, seconded the motion. After some discussion, in the course of which several of the members seemed to think that the reso- lutions were not sufficiently strong, the motion was unanimously agreed to. Mr. Sime, Balgay, here stated that, as Mrs. Fer- gusson Blair was the principal person interested, he thought she ought to be informed of the resolutions they had come to. He would, therefore, move that Mrs. Fergusson Blair be invited to attend the meeting to hear the resolutions read. This was unanimously agreed to. On receiving the invitation, Mrs. Blair said she would be happy to comply with the wishes of the clubs. On entering the hall of meeting, Mrs. Fergus- son Blair was received with the most marked respect by all present. The course of the proceedings having been ex- plained, and the resolutions read to her by the secre- tary, Mrs. Fergusson Blair said: Gentlemen, it is un- usual for a female to take part in meetings of this nature, but mine is at all times an unusual and anomalous position. Sole guardian of my son, and manager and trustee of his large property, I am often called upon to assume duties quite foreign to my feminine nature. But on this occasion I felt it not only my duty, but my pleasure, to appear amongst you at your request. I have only this instant re- turned home from Ayrshire; and, being quite unpre- pared, you must kindly excuse a few disjointed sentences on the subject which has called you together. I wish to express viva voce my opinion of Lord Kinnaird's most unwarrantable and ungentle- manly attack upon the members of the Inchmartine Curling and Cricket Clubs. Nothing emanating from that quarter could injure you or me in the estimation of our neighbours; but, unfortunately, this accusation (through the medium of the public press) has ffone over the length and breadth of the land; and his lordship has thus shown the will to do us harm, though he lacks the power. Who but Lord Kinnaird would have tried to cast a slur upon the actions of a lady- alone-without a protector, save her son-a boy? Time was when he (Lord Kinnaird) would not have dared to breathe my name but in terms of deepest respect; and it will not add to the small modicum of goodwill borne towards him that he now tries to insult a lady in my unprotected state. I can, how- ever, boldly face his lordship, and—armed with the baeastplate of truth-can deny his accusations made to cover his disappointment on another subject. Lord Kinnaird's political views have been long known to me, but only lately has he been enlightened as to mine. You will all agree with me that my son is mach too young to have any political bias whatever, and I fondly trust that he will never follow in Lord Kinnaird's footsteps. None of you will blame me' for refusing to allow my boy to become a tool in his hands. I can well afford to dispense with friendship only to be retained on such terms. I speak strongly, for I feel strongly that this paltry accusation was trumped up to cover far deeper schemes than a mere game of cricket, and to this may be attributed this suaaen burst of teetotal virtue. Lord Kinnaird's antecedents should have prevented his trying to throw doubt upon the respectability and honour of men in all respects of unimpeachable character. He has, as I said before, done you no harm-the only one he has injured is the poor young man he alludes to (who belongs to himself, not to US), whose name he has brought for- ward so prominently in this matter, and who may well now say, Save me from my friends." Had Lord Kinnaird acted like a Christian-which he professes to be—and as a gentleman-which he ought to be-he would have written to me in a friendly manner, stating his own peculiar views; for we have always been on the most intimate terms till now, when he has chosen to take umbrage at my doing what was only my dutv. This_ clearly shows the animus which has prompted this insult. (The .delivery of this speech was sreetpd with loud and frequent cheering.) g I The meeting shortly after broke up. ♦ Suicide of a Deserter by Poison.-On Monday an inquiry was held in the King's-road respecting the death of John Topper, aged forty-two years, a sailor belonging to one of her Majesty's revenue cutters. It appeared that, on last Saturday week, he came up to London from Gravesend, having run away from his ship, and on Wednesday was found lying dead in his room from the effects of laudanum. It was also stated that the deceased had struck an officer on board his ship, and had run away to avoid the consequences. He was in constant dread of discovery, and took to drinking. The jury returned a verdict of suicide while of unsound mind.

TOPICS OF THE WEEK. -+-- LAW REFORM IN SCOTLAND.—The law reform which is more immediately required in Scotland is the simplification of its forms of procedure. Scotland wants something in the nature of a Common Law Procedure Act. Its" rnultiplepoindings," and its "augmentations" and localities," its "declarators," its "count and reckonings," and what not, have all to be simplified, and especially in their nomenclature. It is required to reduce the time necessary for ob- taining a judgment in the Court of Session from two years to two months, and the cost to a tenth part of its present amoant. The "Lords Ordinary" have to be transferred to another sphere of usefulness. When all this has been accomplished, then attention may, with greater prospect of good results, be directed to the mending of the laws themselves. For, how little utility is there in making good laws, when the legal machinery by which they are administered remains bad and spoils their excellence ? The Scotch seem to be themselves convinced of this, and they some time ago conceived a, proposed "Court of Session Bill," the object of which is to abolish almost entirely the'ir present forms of procedure and to substitute forms as nearly as possiole identical with that introduced by the English Common Law Procedure Acts. This bill was introduced into the House of Commons in the session of 1863, but was very suddenly withdrawn, and it has not been heard of since on this side of the border. The author of Coningsby" says, that when the House of Lords succeed in passing a bill, they cackle over it in their pride like so many geese when one of them lays an egg. The Scotch-if we maybe pardoned for borrow- ing the simile-have been cackling over their little bill ever since it came into existence, and they have been doing nothing else than cackling. The advocates- that is, the bar—first enjoyed a hearty cackle; then the W. S.'s had their cackle; afterwards the S. S. C.'s mustered their strength and had a little cackle too; and by-and-by the country at large had a discordant cackle also. Then, having enjoyed their individual cackles, these various cacklers began to cackle all together, and so they have cackled on till now. But when is the cackling to cease and the bill to be intro- duced into Parliament in earnest and allowed to pass into la,w ? Next session, it is to be hoped, though the prospect of its speedy passing into law looks some what doubtful. It is to be feared that the moral courage of the Scotch will fail them when the parting scone arrives, and it becomes necessary to take a last fond look of their dear old antiquated condescend- ences" and "defences." Let us live in the hope, how- ever, that this, the first important step towards the assimilation of the laws, will not be abandoned, and that the proposed bill will next session be among the first to be brought in.-London Review. LORD PALMERSTON AT WILTON.-But it was pro- bably not to hear what Lord Palmerston had to say— not to criticise or to be instructed by his argu- ments—that what the reporter calls the elite of the county of Wiltshire assembled on Wednesday last. They came to see an unexpected I)heno-inenoil-a spectacle such as England has never seen before. For all the ordinary purposes of a Prime Minister, Lord Palmerston has perhaps lost some of his efficiency. He cannot quite control the unruly combi- nation of Ministers whom, when he was a few years younger, ho brought together. His Chancellor of the Exchequer sets him at defiance, and his Foreign Secre- tary is perpetually leading him into trouble. But still he is not the less one of England's wonders-her choicest and rarest show. He is such a Prime Minister as she has never seen before, and may possibly never see again. His merits are summed up in the one word that he is eighty. It is not to be wondered at that crowds flock together to see him. The English people love that kind of show which consists in the exhibition of difficulties overcome by vigour and pluck. They will come together in thousands to see Blondin cook an omelette on a tight rope, or to witness the feat of a woman walking a thousand miles in a thousand hours. The objects to be seen are not otherwise fascinating, and the feats per- formed do not .argue any very lofty merit in the performer. But there is something in itself at- tractive in the spectacle of unparalleled effort to over- come the obstacles of natural law. The popular feeling towards Lord Palmerston is of the same kind. His speeches may not be models of eloquence they may even be remarkable for vacuity. But they derive a value that cannot be surpassed from this—that they are the speeches of a Prime Minister of eighty. He is performing a kind of match with time, holding on to his office in spite of the advances of time, and defying time to do his worst. As months go on, the interest deepens. The feat becomes more and more extra- ordinary, the match more and more exciting. All the world ought to crowd together, while yet there is time to see a performance that will some day be a matter of curious historical record, and to hear such speeches as as have never before been made under such a weight of years. It will depend on Lord Palmerston's strength, or his pleasure, or the advantage which he thinks his frequent appearances may produce for his party, how long he will display his remarkable physical powers for the astonishment and entertainment of his provincial fellow-countrymen. But he may be quite sure that, so long as he is willing to continue the exhibition, he will End no lack of spectators.-Saturday Review. THE DEATH OF CAPTAIN SPEKE.-The sudden death of Captain Speke by an accident has shocked the whole country, and given rise to the deepest regret at the loss of so distinguished a traveller. All eyes were turned upon him almost at the moment that the fatal accident happened, for it was generally known that he was to have been present at the meeting of the British Association for the advancement of science at Bath, the next day, in order to maintain his claims and the correctness of his deductions relative to his great discovery of the source of the Nile. Man pro- poses, but God disposes. The distinguished explorer who had faced death often and dangers innumerable for many years; who escaped as by a miracle from the hands of the fierce Somalis, and afterwards opened a route through countries and kingdoms unheard of before, regardless of the terrors which he was told awaited him on his path; who entrusted himself with- out hesitation to the tender mercies of semi-barbarian monarchs and savage tribes, among whom he might have lost his life at any moment, leaving his fate sur- rounded by impenetrable darkness-the man who had achieved and gone through so much, which might appal any but the strongest, is at last killed by his own gun, in a field close to his own home, and in the neighbourhood of a fashionable city where he was on the following day to be "the observed of all ob. servers. JNever was the awful lesson more power- fully enforced, that "in the midst of life we are in death;" that when we are strongest and most con- fident in ourselves we are as liable to stoop to fate as the weakest. All that remains for us to do is to take care of the fair fame of the distinguished traveller who has thus fallen in his prime, and who was still contending against the carping, if not the envious criticism of those who desired to detract from the honour and praise of his great achievement, when the accident happened which deprived him of his life. Of one thing there can be no doubt. Captain Speke first discovered the lake now known as the Victoria N'yanza in the month of August, 1858. Captain Burton sub- sequently took all the credit for that discovery, though he remained at Kaze while Speke marched northwards and effected the object he had in view. In fact Capt. Burton has not been within about thirty marches, or 400 miles, of the N'yanza, which the deceased traveller at once concluded to be the source of the Nile. The second journey which Captain Speke made with his friend Grant fully confirmed his own views of the-matter, for out of the same lake, the southern end of which he reached for the first time in 1858, he saw issuing, at its northern extremity, the stream of the Nile. Conjacture is altogether powerless against such facts as these. What Captain Speke's detractors have to do is to prove by experience that the stream issuinw from the northern extremity of the lake is not the Nile—when they do that they will have some ground for their speculations, but not before.-The Press. THE RELATIONS OF GREAT BRITAIN AND PERU. —The report of the Peruvian Minister for Foreign Affairs has been presented to the National Congress. The following passages refer to the relations of the Republic with this country:—" Great Britain, a nation as illustrious as it is commercially great, has arrived at a height of grandeur well merited by the wisdom of her policy. She was the first country that entered into mercantile relations with Peru, establishing that interchange of commodities so eminently calculated to maintain the bonds of friendship, and to propagate those principles most advantageous to commerce. From that time to the present day nothing has occurred to interrupt the mutual understanding of the two governments, with the exception of some tran- sitory difficulties, which were disposed of as promptly as the good faith of both parties required. It is gratify- ng to announce to the Congress that, now as ever,, the Peruvian Government is animated by the best inten- tions, and that each day it receives new evidences of the sympathy of the English people with the Republic. In conformity with one of the clauses of the treaty of commerce, celebrated on the 10th of April, 1850, certain other clauses ceased to have effecb beyond a fixed period. Previous notice having been given of the clauses in question being cancelled, the Peruvian minister at London had received proper instructions- for the arrangement of another treaty. When this treaty is concluded it will, doubtless, prove worthy of the high position of. the contracting parties, and be in accordance with the reciprocal exigencies of both nations. The dispute which arose between the two 'On' Governments in consequence of the reclamations made in favour of the English subject, Thomas Melville White, had been submitted at the requisition of the Peruvian ministry to the arbitration of the Honourable Senate of Hamburg. The result could hardly have been more satisfactory, because it has been decided that thero was no ground for diplomatic intervention, and that our tribunals had been upright, impartial, and just. Melville White was subjected to judgmant because there existed against him a multitude of pre- sumptions, which, from their criminal character, had a veritable tendency to disturb the public tranquillity. The proceedings were in conformity with our laws, and not one of those forms which protect the individual against pernicious charges was omitted on this cele- brated case.Brazil and River Plate Mail.

Putting Britannia on Her Hetal. Letter from the Poet Laureate of the Fleet. Onered Sir,-l day tuther weak i went to a Wedin. it were My kneece's Wedin (m'a Jane SNvizzlp-oos,, muther wus my deerly b'loved sister and kep the old Wan tromp-licens'd VTittleress) she (m'a jane i meen) got spliced 2 a Yeung Enginehere, a wherry hansum Young felr, with karaty wiskers and beer'd 2 match. Wel arter the kustomary Saremonials had been gone thro' and we had dun Din'r (konsistin of Turkey hung in a alderman's chain off eppin saw- sages) i may jist hobserve there was 4 and 20 on us sat down to that,Re-past xklasive of hinfants inn harms -i Propos'd the bride's Elth &c. &c. hand then inn doo Kotirse i was Kawl'd on 4 a Song—i made hall sorts off Xcuses sich as i'd got a Wiolent kold inn My hed—roomytiz inn My shoulder setera setera-but it was hall of no Awale—sing i must hev'ry 1 sed-so tho' i hadn't sung inn publick since i was captn off the mane top on boord H.M.S. the Water-Mellon (were itfc was jeneraly allowd i playd Tho fidl ike a Searaff,. which is simeler 2 a naughtyoal haingel— Willm inn blah i'd Soosen is my authoritee 4 this similee) i struck up my hold faverit Stave off wich o' kourse yer honer knows the korus— t .„ .1 "Arts of Olee are our Ships." wen lo hand bhold the Young Engine-here busts into a larf off 2 hunderd orse pour. it warn't wherry perlite you'll say-but howsnrn dever i didn't mind—thinks i two myself my young felr you mayn't hav many more hopertunities of larfing (for m'a jane has got a hawful Temper—harntray new as Mounseer wood say-like her own bloved muther wioh is my sister Mrs. Swizzle off the old wan tromp a four sed)—howssver o* kourse that's neether hear nor There—so 2 resume, wen i axed him for a xplanation of-I L his misterius konduot he sed i was bhind the Age—that i wus a regler rip wan winkl hand add hevydently bin asleep 4 the last 20 yeer setera. setera-that to tawk off ships as Arts of Oke was habsurd, hand that if i wornt aware that Ships were like Spoons (seein that Both were hoccashonly plated) i wus litl better than a spoon myself. W-el i took it hall inn good part, butt as soon as i got home i resolvd 2 overhaul my litl Wabbler (price6pens hincludin frontispiece with A swetelitlcherubas sits up aloft 2 keep Watch 4 the life off poor jack) hand on lookin at my litl Wabbler i seed that Charley Dibdin'stoonfulbark (same with his jolly Kompanions ev'ry 1) wanted pitchin hand kawkin-2 speak inn more litterary lingo, 2 make neptune's Pegases quite att home aboard of our iron- klads i must take of his wooden ?_-hoes, hand putt metal tips 2 his feet, kordinly i sat down hinn mv snugery with a C chest 4 a ritein desk, hand hammer'd away hatt the poplar Stave 4 sed, till I got hall the wood out hand the iron plates hinn, wich i kall Puttin Britanyer on her metI." i now umbly wentur 2 Beg that i may b hallowd 2 dedikate this nashunal balad hinn its emended form 2 your honer as 1st lord of the Admiralty, if so be its true that you rarely hold sich a position, and if you don't, hall i can say is you ought 2, konsiderin the sarvice you've renderd the country over since you've been at the head of the Fleet. Yours 2 kommand inn haste, TOMAS LITTLE (kommyaly kÚl'd LONG TOM) Scrooge's-rents (next door 2 the Groggery). 2 Admiral Punch, head of the Fleet. (See balad below, koped by a friend o' mine as is a. Skulemaster and a man o'letrs. 'ARD AS OAK ARE OUR SHIPS. Come, cheer up my lads, why look glumpy and queer, Cause shiver my timbers no more you will hear The old British lion with his new iron chain Is cast in a mould that's all right in the main. 'Ard as oak are our ships (nine at least out of ten), At which Jack shakes his head—he Feels all over unsteady, Cause he can't cut his name on their starns, Brother Ben. A screw by an old salt is not much admired, But quickly our screws will shell out, when required; Let laundresses laugh, why need Jack be irate ? » P1 ironin £ -board the first lord sits in state. Ard as oak are our ships, if the foe thinks it strange, On our decks let him tread—he Will find hot plates ready For his goose, which we'll cook at our long (kitchen} range. We ne'er see a warsman at anchor in bay, But we 'joice 'cause no dry-rot can make her decay, And our bilers well made are by Maudslay or Penn, Won't become half so crusty as some captains we ken. Talk of oak! if there's none in our craft, Brother Ben, Steady! boy, steady! For when all is ready, 'Twill be found, I'll be bound, in the hearts of our men.

Young Housekeepers. (On the Present High Price of Meat.) Dearest in all the world are you; But oh, how dear, love, meat is, too Our butcher's bill runs up so high Come tell me, Frederick, tell me why P Why ? Because rogues can only cheat By weight, or price, in selling meat, Can't as in other things they can, Mix rubbish with the food of man. Bread, milk, and groceries, beer, and wine- Tis seldom we get genuine; But mutton must be sheep; a thief Cannot adulterate his beef." Yes, love, indeed there's truth in that. But then how large a lump of fat They always skewer to the round, And charge it all the same a pound! THE MOST APPROPRIATE GEbr FOR NAPOLEON'S CROWN—WHEN HE GETS ONE.-Stratagem! MOST CERTAINLY.—The colour of Garibaldi's shirt ought to be held as a snored one in the estimation of all patriotic Italians.

Mr. H. F. Broadwood, of Lyne-house, Horsham, has given all his farm labourers a week's pay and a holiday to enjoy themselves at his cost, as they like best, as an ac- knowledgment of the bountiful harvest. A ^ood Joke.—A conundrum competition was announced the other day by the proprietor of Myers's Circus, at Hanley, Staffordshire, a silver tea-service being offered for the beat, and a piece of plate for the worst, conundrum. The former was won by a gentle- man of the name of Jones, with the followmg Why was the sculptor of the monument at Trentham a most dishonest and heartless man ? Because he chiselled the Duke of Sutherland oat of a fine block of stone, and afterwards charged the tenants of the estate with it, and for which they had to pay." The latter is not wortp- mentioning. Suffice it to say, when the winner presented himself to re- ceive his prize, he received from the hands of Mr. Abbott a broken piece of a common dinner-plate, which caused immense laughter.