The Illustrated Usk Observer and Raglan Herald

AGRICULTURE. i i HARVEST operations have proceeded kub slowly in Essex during the past week, owing to continuous showers, which drove the labourers occasionally from the fields. A considerable breadth of wheat has, how- ever, been cut. Harvest operations have become general about Coningsby, Lincolnshire. The (ftops are a fair average. About Alford the crops are pretty good, but they have been sadly knooked about by rain and wind. Near Caistor the harvest will not be general for another week. The crops are very much laid. On the Southwolda the harvest has been greatly retarded by recent adverse weather. Harvest operations have become general in the neighbourhood of Stamford, a large number of Irish harvestmen having visited the loeality; the crops are generally good. Harvest opera- tions, although not yet general, have commenced in several places in the neighbourhood of Boston. The orops are much laid. About Whittlesey the wheats have ripened rapidly of late, but have suffered much from recent rains; the harvest has become general both on the high and the low lands.

LABOUR. n" T -U A.t a recent meeting of the Logie ana iieurmt Farmers' Club, Mr. Finlayson read a paper on this subject, from which we extract the following as pub- lished in tha Farmer:— THRESHING MACHINE. —In regard to the threshing machines, whether plain beater, spike or botting drum, revolving or clank shaker, or whatever plan, small pinions and bevel wheels should be avoided as much as possible. Pitch chains are a very easy method of driving the rollers and shakers, but the first and most important thing to be looked at is a good large horseshed. First give the horses a good lever power, and the rest becomes easy. Make the horses strong, and you gain the additional advantage of a large outer wheel and pinion, large spur wheel and pinion, large second power and drum pinion, and you thus make four horses do the work of six with everything the other way. It may be laid down as a general rule that small pinions are ill to turn, and a great drawback to threshing machines; bat the only way to remedy this evil in many cases, and keep up the required speed, is to begin at the beginning and give the horses a good leverage. Not a few of our mill sheds are just sa they were when the flail was first hung over the couples as a thing of no use, and was succeeded by the threshing mills, and it is no wonder they should be a little antiquated. Some of them in the distriot, where there is a good deal of threshing to do, are not 23 feet within wails, whereas there should be no shed less than 33 feet. I have had a long trial of both, and the large one, in my experience, has all the advantages I ascribe to it. FANNEBS. —There is room for improvement, too, I apprehend, in the way and manner of cleaning our grain. The prevailing principle of the old fanners is long blades, about three feet, some of them more. The invention of fanners was, no doubt, a great affair, however light we may think of it now—a great im- provement on the old plan of cleaning the grain be- tween two barn doors, or going up to the top of a hill, to catch the passing breeze, and perhaps catch the passing shower instead. But we could not expect these men, geniuses though they must have been, to jump to the best construction of fanners just at once, and I find, as anyone else may find by standing behind them, that in these long-bladed fanners every blade has its own blast. There is a lull and a puff as every blade comes round, and they are of necessity heavy to drive. The most modern fanners, again, which we see taking prizes at shows, are not so long in the blades-somewhere about two feat, and not very heavy to drive; but in their haste to attain perfection, as I suppose, in cleaning the grain, they have filled the whole inside with riddle?, so that the wind has next to no chance at all in doing its duty, as it has no way of acting upon the grain but through and among these riddles, which is far from right. Grain, you are aware, can only be discriminately cleaned when it is falling, not when it is strikin-g against or resting on anything; and hence the absurdity of blocking up the whole interior of fanners with riddles. Riddles I would have, and riddles I wonder we have not had in aJI our mills, and hand fanners, long ago. But then they should be so placed as not to interfere on any acconnt with the winnowing of the grain. There ux «» -pa>s^ ot auO'WS'Cj play upon them, and afoot or more clear below for the wind to act on the grain as it falls from the riddles. I find that wire riddles are apt to get clogged up with corn coats hanging about them, and that pierced iron or 2inc is preferable. Bat to approach perfection in the winnowing of our grain, I would recommend that our fanners ba short in the blades and double-blasted— that is, that they should have two pairs of blades or fans, the one going cut when the other is coming in, or working half-stroke to'eaeh other, to prevent that lulling and puffing that is in all fanners, and to make a regular and constant blow. These riddles, when properly applied, may be said to add nothing to the weight of driving, and such a form of fanners would give plenty of room below for the wind to act on the grain; when it is resting on anything, as is too often done, is like striking a man when he is down; it gives him no chance of his life. The strong man is weak then, and so is the strong grain. It is aa expensive affair riddling grain by hand, and not everyone of our best men can do it. But there is no use for it when it ca.n be done otherwise. For I hold that we are much more able to riddle our grain by machinery than the miller is to sift his meal—and how perfectly he does it, though the one is a much nicer operation than the other! PLOUGHS AND GRUBBERs.-We ought to leave < nothing to manual labour that can be done by ma- i chinery. I am only speaking in reference to our own district, for many may be, and many are, I know, far in advance or us in this point. Whatever iron can be introduced into our farm implements, it should take the place of wood; iron can be used with advantage in harrows on the great proportion of land. On some light soils, perhaps, and hilly farms, they oan scarcely be made light enough to Rtand the obstaoles they have to meet with. The old Scotch wooden plough is still in use in some parts of the district, but wooden ploughs, in whatever form, are never thrifty. The Scotch Rational" can be made in its native form, and as light and strong in iron as in wood. It would then neither cling with summer's drought nor swell and rot with winter's wet-would last generations in place of a few seasons. But two sets of ploughs are expansive and unnecessary, as one improved iron plough, with a plain broad level sock and a straight coulter, will do winter ploughing equally as well, if not better, than the other, and be as easily drawn. Very short, convex, sharp-turned, hollow-breasted mould-boards are better for scooping loose land than ploughing it; while a medium length and twist will do fair work on all soils and prove more generally useful. Wheels, when rightly attached, make a plough very easy to guide. And though a good man at a ploughing match may make bett-3* work without them, a very inferior ploughman will, with a day °* 8 Practice, make superior work with them and it would be a great saving of our plougbmen s bones were wheels more used than they are. What we call grub harrows, when well made, have been found exceedingly useful in tearing up and loosening land that ha. to be often rolled on the breaking down; and when landisfoul, for taking weeds to the surface. The grubber was thought at one time to take the place of the plough, but now it will have enough to do to keep its own place. A turn of the grubber may sometimes be better than a ploughing; he^terforkeepingin themoist, or the Hake of a braird in dry weather. But there is oangr in going too far, as nothing but the ploug the soil over thoroughly to the influences of atmosphere, which influences, although we have them for nothing, are often more enriching to the soil than the best aul most costly manures we can apply. 0 — Mr. Snider, the inventer of the system of con- verting Enfields adopted by the Government, is suffer- ing from paralysis of the brain, said to have been greatly accelerated by the worries and anxieties caused by hia uncertain and harassing relations with Government. Mr. Wm. Day's Sheep Sale at Woodgates.- On inursaay last Messrs. Ewer and Winstanley, auctioneers, of Salisbury, sold by auction, at Wood- ?a -03, 'he flock of about 1,100 stock ewes and "Muver and ram lambs, the property of Mr. William Day, the we^tsown trainer. The sale was admitted to be tha best ever known in this part of England. The rams and ram lamba averaged £ 8 5s. per head. The Milvar lames averaged about 42 8a. 6d.; the two- teeth 6we3 about .£0 17a. 6d.; the four-tooth nearly 803.; and the six-teeth about £3 2s. 6d. per head. Thetotalprooaedsof the sale amounted to £ 3,97518s.6?. Thato 1 1

KITCHEN GARDEN. —Cardoons must now be tied J md banked up with earth to blanch the fleshy part ef te stems. They will not be perfectly blanched for 1 ive or six weeks, so it would not be wise to delay the sarthing-up much beyond this time. Leeks may still De planted out, and those already grown to good size may be earthed-up to blanch them. Peas lately sown must be supplied with water unless favoured with much rain. It commonly happens that late sown peas become hopelessly invested with mildew, and make no return. We have explained on several occasions how to prevent this by sowing in shallow trenches which admit of frequently flooding them with water. Where they have been sown on the level in the usual way, they must, of course, be earthed-up slightly, but it would pay well for the little trouble oc- casioned to make a channel on each side of the row to receive and hold a liberal allowance of water. Spinach must be sown now for winter. The common prickly soinach is an excellent variety, but the true Flanders is far better. Turnips may still be sown to stand the winter, but it will soon be too late to sow any kind of seeds for winter crops. Celery to be earthed-up with oare after heavy rain or a good water- ing take care the mould does not get into the hearts. Winter greens: This week offers the last fair and favourable opportunity for securing a sufficiency of winter and spring produee in the kitchen garden, and whatever is to be done must be done to make sure of supplies as » wuio who** «■ r t up quickly. Plant out every morsel of winter greens b that may be left in seed-beds, or where first pricked out to strengthen, including broccoli, cabbage, kale, &o. &o. Sow collards, red Dutch and sugarloaf cab. bage, endive. Hammersmith lettuce, salad onions, golden and Normandy cress, Flanders spinach, stone ^FLOWER GARDEN. —Chrysanthemums should not > be topped any more, as in the event of a cool autumn, 1 those topped later than the first week in August will f fail to bloom. The quickest way now to secure a few i nice small plants to give two or three blooms each is i to layer the shoots in pots. These late layers, if taken from the tops of strong shoots, make very pretty, specimens for the conservatory. In selecting the shoots for laying, take such as will make plants of good shape at once. Many ugly old plants now sprawling about to the discredit of the place might be turned to good account to supply small plants by layers. Intermediate stock to be sown in pans and boxea in frames, or in some shady place under a wall. When large enough to handle, pot them for the winter, and house them in a light dry. airy pit. A little frost will not hurt them. Lilies: The time is at hand when lilies, having lately rested, begin to grow again. The brief period of rest affords an opportunity for taking them up and divid- ing the roots. This is the time too for making prepa- rations for planting lilies out of doors. There can be no doubt at all that all the liliums in cultivation may be grown to perfection in good borders in the open ground. Those who are thinking of making a display of liliesnext year would do well to refer to The 0 Shane a article on the subject in the Gardener's Magazine of July 29,1865. Balbs of all kinds must be thought of in good time. If there is not a good store of stuff for potting, set about preparing it without loss of time. There can be no harm in potting a few hyacinths and Van Thol tulips at once. Auriculas require repotting to remove offsets, and secure a good blaom next season. The soil should be full of fibre, and in a sweet and fresh condition. Pat the offsets in thumbs, singly, in a sandy mixture, and shut them up close for a week; this is better than inserting them round the sides of pots, as they can be allowed to fill the thumbs with roots, and then have a good shift at once. Bedding plants to be propagated without delay for next year. To save trouble both now and during winter, select a few strong plants of verbenas, tropaaolums, petunias, and lobelias, and pot them in large pots, with one. third of drainage in the pots, and shut them up in a frame and keep shaded for a week; then let them be exposed to all weathers till the probability of frost requires them to be housed. Keep these to force for cuttings next spring, ISO. as to be free of the necessity of propagating any of them now. l ae wncie stock of geraniums and calceolarias for next year a bedding should be struck this season-geraniums at once, calceolarias within a fortnight, in a moist shady r\if Snrn naed of oiuaratia raaritima, it spa want m the way or silver edgings. Cerastium may be left out all winter, so no need to propagate that now. If thought desirable to propagate verbenas now, in order to have an early bloom next year, take the points of growing shoots about three inches in length, and strike in pans of sand, and from these shift—not into pots, but into shallow boxes of any convenient form and size, in which they will winter better, and occasion less trouble in watering. Hollyhocks require plenty of water to open their top buds well, and all choice kinds on which it is desirable to have a few good blossoms to the last should be àis. budded. Take off first every other bad all the way up then remove a few more on the side farthest from the walk, on what may be called the backs of the plants, and then go over them again and remove a few buds wherever they are crowded; finally, top the stems to uniform heights, if the plants form a compartment of themselves; when they are scattered about there is no occasion to top them.-Thrip: Tobacco-water will do something to render the flower-buds and young tops of dahlias unpalatable to this inseot, and that is the only chemical agent we can recommend. In every case where plants are infested by thrip, we consider it of the very first importance to give abundance of water at the roots; this will do wonders. In some places the beds of geraniums and verbenas are almost eaten up by thrip, bnt these will immediately recover if liberally watered.- Gardener's Magazine.

SPORTS AND PASTIMES. --+-- THE Earl of Eglington has offered a silver cup, value .£40, to be competed for by the various cricket clubs in Ayrshire. THE ancient pleasure and goose fair at Croydon has seen its last day. The old fair field in Park-lane was purchased by arbitration on Wednesday last by the Brighton Railway Company, for the enormous sum of .£18600, or X2,000 per acre, and is being boarded in, and the ground dug out for gravel. IN the match Surrey v. England, last week, Mr. Grace, who made 224 runs, is calculated to have travelled five miles between the wickets. Poor man (says a contemporary)! how many postmen, how- ever old, travel ten miles, and with profit to the country and themselves (16s. a week) in the same time! SOME hawking parties are at present taking place at Champagne. The falconry was last week established at the Camp at Chalons, where were collected speoi- mens of all kinds of birds used for this sport. Several parties took place, at which Prince Joachim Murat, Marshal Regnauld de-Saint-Jean-d'Angely, Count de Montebello, Count Davilliera, &c., were present. THOMAS POWELL, Esq., the lessee of Old Mar Lodge, Braemar, was out stalking last Wednesday, and killed five fine stags, one of them having a fine royal head. On Friday he killed two stags near the Lodge. The same day the Hon. George S. Duff was out in Alton- ower-forest, and killed two splendid stags. Last Mon- day Colonel Farquharson, after a highly exciting stalk, killed a couple of fine stags in the forest to the east of Invercauld-house. Sporting prospects continue excel- lent. Mr. Powell was out duck shooting on Thurs- day, and bagged seventy head on the Craggon Loch and contiguous ground near Allanquoich. THE International Marine Exhibition is to open at Boulogne on the 16th instant. Norway, Holland, Denmark, Prussia, England, Ireland, and. Scotland have already forwarded contributions of the various fishmg-taokle made use of in these countries, as well as of valuable works, drawings, prints, &o.. bearing on marine subjects. The last International Marine Exhi- bition took place last year at Bergen, in Norway, and was a decided success. A monster aquarium is like- wise to afford amusement to the visitors to Boulogue, and the 15th inst. is to be commemorated in that sea- port by a gorgeous religious ceremony, at which several archbishops and bishops are to be present, in order to consecrate^ the magnificent altar presented by the Roman Prince Tortonia to the cathedral. This altar, composed of the rarest marbles, is incrusted with pre- cious stones and cameos of exquisite beauty. As a work of artistic merit it is said to be the finest which has been produced at Rome duriag the present cen- tury. Its value amounts to l.opo.ooof. ONE of the pests of the English turf, named Harry Jonas, alias Davis, made his appearance at the Deauville race-course, Francs, last Saturday and Sunday, accom- panied by some more of tne fraternity. They took up their quarters at a first-slass hocel, where they left the bill unpaid. Jones superintended the betting list, 1 neatly arranged, in a carriage, under the name of Morris and Co., 123, Regent-street. Sunday, it ap- pears, was fixed upon by these scamps for their grand eoup, and as soon as the races commenced, Mr. Jones explained to the public in French that the best race to bee upon was the steeple chase, the last race, and, consequently, Morris and Co. received a goad deal of money, about G.OOOfr. we are told. Whilst the dead heat was being run off, and just prior to the steeple chase, Mr. Jones informed an old Jew who was selling sticks on the eourse that his friends and himself were goin^ to take some refreshment, and that, if ho would take°care of the conveyance, representing the estab- lishment of Morris and Co., ho would reward him with five francs. Our readers can imagine where Mr. Harry Jones with his friends went to, and they can likewise imagine the position of poor Shy lock when the backers of Valentino came howling for their money at the impromptu bank of Morris and Co. The police were sent after the fellows, but they evaded them until they reached Dieppe, where Jones was arrested at the moment he was embarking for Newhaven, en route for Brighton races. He was remanded for a week, and it is to be hoped will be sentenced to a lengthened term of im- PISEVERAL anglers have had good sport in the Gal way river this season. They have killed 1,982 salmon in 19 weeks. Professor Townshend killed 82lbs. weight in one day, and his brother killed 152 salmon in the month of June. Major de Montmorency killed between March 14th and Juna salmon weighing 2,1001ba. On the 18th June he oaught 20 salmon, 16 by fly, and four by the shrimp bait. The net-fishing has been very — — BI

THE CHOLERA AND THE CATTLE PLAGUE. Order for new Form of Prayer. At the Court at Osborne House, Isle of Wight, the J 9bh day of August, 1866, Present, the Queen's Most Excellent Majesty in Council. It is this day ordered by her Majesty in council that his Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury do prepare a form of prayer to Almighty God for relief from the plague now existing amongst cattle and for protection against the cholera, and that such form of prayer be used in all churches and chapels in England and Wales, and in the town of Berwick-upon-Tweed on Sunday, the 12th day of August instant, and whenever Divine service is celebrated during the prevalence of the oholera and of cattle plague in this country, instead of the prayer now used for relief from the plague existing amongst cattle and for protection against cholera. And it is hereby further ordered, that her Majesty's printer do forthwith print a competent number of copies of the said form of prayer, in order that the same may be forthwith sent round, and used in the several churches and chapels in England and Wales, and in the town of Berwick-upon-Tweed. EDMUND HARRISON. It is this day ordered by her Majesty in Council ihat all ministers and preachers, as well of the Established Church in that part «>f Great Britain called Scotland, as of the Episcopal Communion, protected md allowed by an Act, passed in the tenth year )f the reign of her Majesty Queen Anne, chapter 3even, do, at some time, during the exercise of Divine service in their churches, congregations, or assemblies, on Sunday, the 12th day of August instant, and sub- sequently during the exercise of Divine service, wbile cholera and cattle plague continue prevalent in this country, put up a prayer to Almighty God for relief from the plague now existing amongst cattle, and for protection against the cholera. EDMUND HARRISON. The Form of Prayer. The following is the form ot prayer prepared uy nue moat rev. prelate in accordance with the above order. It is to be read immediately after the third collect in j the morning and evening services in all churches and ( chapels in England and Wales, and in the town of j Berwick-upon-Tweed, on Sunday, the 12th day of August, 1866, and whenever Divine service is cele- brated during the prevalence of the cholera and of cattle plague in this country, instead of the prayer now used for relief of the plague existing amongst cattle, and for protection against the oholera :— O, Almighty God and Merciful Father, our only refuge in the time of need, we approach Thee under a deep sense of our sinfulness, and in awe of Thy judg- ments which are abroad in the pestilenee that has now reached our shores. We desire to humble ourselves under Thy mighty hand, confessing our iniquities which have justly provoked Thy wrath against us. We acknowledge with shame and sorrow that we have shown ourselves unthankful for Thy mercies; we have followed our own will rather than Thy holy law, and have not, in our prosperity, honoured Thee as the author and giver of it all. Take from us, we beseech Thee, all hardness of heart and unbelief, all neglect of Thy ordinances, and contempt of Thy word. Correct us, 0 Lord, but not in Thine anger; and with- draw from ua, in thine own good time, the scourge with which thou hast visited us. Give us an heart to comfort and succour all who are stricken by it; in- cline us to aid in ministering to their wants, and assuaging their sufferings.. "And in the presence of this great mortality may we all be reminded that in the midst of life we are in death. Give us graco to turn from our evil ways, and seek the Lord our Saviour, while He may be found, with hearty repentance and true faith: so shall we in quiet and confidence await Thy holy will, and be ready, shouldest Thou call ns, to yield up our souls to Thee, 0 gracious Father, in the blessed hope of ever- lasting life, through the mediation, and for the merits of Thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. "0 Lord God Almighty, whose are the cattle on a thousand hills, and in whose hand is the breath of every living thing, look down, we beseech Thee, in compassion upon Thy servants, whom Thou hast visited with a. grievous murrain among our herds and flocks. Wa acknowledge oar transgressions, which worthily deserve Tby chastisement and our ilÏnM ever before us; and in humble penitence we come to seek thy aid. Stay, we pray Thee, this_plague, by Thy word of power, and save that provision which ihou haflat", in Tlly gooonesa, gitmfcod for our sustenance; so shall we offer unto thee the sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving for these thy acts of providence over us, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."—London Gazette.

WILLS AND BEQUESTS. The will of the Right Hon. Mary Juliana, Dowager Countess of Ranfurly, late of Dangannon-park, Tyrone, Ireland, and of 10, Gloucester-place, Hyde- park, was proved in London, on the 3lst ult., under £ 7,000 personalty, by the executors, Lieutenant- Colonel William Stuart, M.P., of Kimpton Lodge, Beds, and Henry Alexander, Esq., of Forkhill, Armagh. Lady Ranfurly, the testatrix, was the daughter oE the late Archbishop Stuart, of Armagh, and was married, ia 1815, to Thomas, second Earl of Ranfarly, and had issue nine children, three sons and six daughters. Her ladyship died July 11, 1866, at the age of 69, having executed her will in 1855, and a codicil the same year, and a second codicil in 1853. Her ladyship has bequeathed to her son, Major the Hon. William Stuart Knox, all her funded property, and has apportioned to him a sum of £ 2,000 under the will of the late Juliana Rawlins; and bequeaths to her unmarried daughters the claim arising from a policy of insurance on her own life, and also leaves to them the residue of her property. .TIT The will of Admiral the Hon. Augustus Warren Baldwin, late of Russell-hill, township of York, pro- vince of Canada, was proved in London, on the 18th ult., by his nephew William Augustus Baldwin, ^sq., the* surviving executor and trustee. The gallant admiral died January 5,1866, at his residence, Russell- hill, having executed his will August 14,1850, which was first proved in Canada, in the United Court of York and Peel. He has therein bequeathed to his wife for her life his mansion, Russell-hill, with his furniture, farming stock, together with the principal part of his property, including his stock in the Bank of Upper Canada; and after her decease he directs his estate to be divided chiefly amongst his nephews and nieces, appointing them also residuary legatees; leaving to his grand-nephew, Robert Bald- win, his naval medal; and to Lawrence Heyden he bequeaths his stook in the Desjardins Canal Com- pany. The will of Lieutenant-General George Rule Pem- berton, of her Majesty's Indian Army, was proved in the London court by his relict, Anne Martha Josephine Pemberton, to whom he has bequeathed the whole of his property for her own absolute use and benefit. The will of the late Henry Revell Reynolds, Esq., solicitor to her Majesty's Treasury, was proved, on the 23th ult., by the executors—namely, his widow and Mr. Henry Ray Freshfield. The testator was twice married. After making various bequests to his children, he has bequeathed to his widow, in addition to the provision made for her by the marriage settle- ment, an annuity of < £ 1,250. He also makes to her allowances for his minor children. Subject to this, each child's portion is directed to be made up with moneys advanced to some < £ 5,000; and the residue is divided among all the children equally. The per- sonalty was sworn under < £ 70,000.—Illustrated London News. — —♦— — Burning of Compton-house, Liverpool.-A- the Liverpool assizes on Saturday, Thomas Henry S weeting was charged with having set fire to Compton- house. It will be remembered that on the 1st of De- cember last Messrs. Jeffrey's place of business at Liver- pool was burnt down, a vast amount of valuable property destroyed, and the lives of about one hundred people placed in great jeopardy. For some time after the fire it was not possible to assign any cause for it. By chance the prisoner said something which directed suspicion to himself. A search at his house led to the discovery of a diary, a pen-and-ni plan of that part of the premises in which the nre started, and a paper containing whai^ ^ten draught of an entry from the diary. Tku3 « to account minutely for his time on the night ot tne ■a,e. He had al.o made a jtotoogn to amount almost to a confession -nfc wnicla ho guilty,and h.ia, «°"f^s^ed for the superior courts, had raised might be reservea iudse (Mr. Baron This was at first refused, but the-judge^ ^ir. ^aron Martin) afterwards said he would consult Mr. Justice Lush. Sentence was deferred. >

FACTS AND FACUTliE. If a man reapeth whatsoever he soweth, what a harvest of coats and breeches our tailors will have one af these days. What is that which must be taken from you before you can give it away ?—Your photograph! Oh, you old buffer! as the old woman exclaimed when an engine knocked her down. Nearly all the post-offices in Texas are in charge of females. It wsrks so well that the males now arrive and depart every hour in the day. What is a Flirt P-Longfellow replies: A young lady of more beauty than sense; more accomplish- ments than learning; more charms of person than grace of mind; more admirers than friends; more fools than wise men for attendants. Mr. Porson, I beg leave to tell YOU, sir, that my opinion of you is perfectly contemptible. Porson replied, "I never knew any opinion of yours, sir, which was not contemptible." Smoking Him. You look," said an Irishman to a pale, haggard smoker, as if you bad got out of your grave to light your eigar and couldn t nna your way back again." a 4.1 nvi 1.1 1-.oon ,ntl, t.nA fiTdllinSf A gentleman wno naa oeen Bpeuuiu^ uu^ & with a few friends, looking at his watch just a'ter midnight, said, It is to-morrow morning! I must bid you good-night, gentlemen." What is the difference between a goose and a de- feated adversary ? One gives down and the other gives np. When must a mariner suffer most from unrequited auction ? When he is attached to a vessel that is at- tached to a wharf. The London Conundrum Society have awarded the annual gold medal to the author of the following speci- men of harmless insanity:—Why is a man cutting grass like Oshello ?—Because he is a mower. "What is the reason that your wife and you always disagree?" asked one Irishman of another. Because we are both of one mind. She wants to ba master and so do I." So you are going to keep house ?" asked an inquisitive maiden of a bride. "Yea." said she. Going to have a girl, I suppose." "I really don't know," was the blushing reply, whether it will be a girl or a boy." I wish I could prevail on neighbour Rinder to keep the Sabbath," said good old Mr. Jones. I'll tell you how to do it," exclaimed incisive young Smith; get somebody to lend it to him, and I'll be bound that he'll keep it. He was never yet known to return anything that he borrowed." Let Me Go.-— I clasped her tiny hand in mine I clasped her beauteous form; I vowed to shield her from the wind And from the world's cold storm. She set her beauteous eyes on me, The tears did wildly flow, And with her little lips she said, Confound you, let me go." An American writer says that "the vice of rasmon- a'ole drinking is now more prevalent among the ladies thau among the gentlemen of America. Oar fashion- able female drinkers do not care so much for wines, and claret-panches, and sherry-cobblers. They can obtain such beverages at dinner or at evening parties, and when left to themselves they prefer stronger spirits. Whisky and brandy are the favourite drinks with these ladies. Some of the saloons which they frequent do not have the stronger liquors upon tha bili of fare, but a neat little sign, which reads,' If you do not see what you want, ask for it,' gives the hint to the initiated." We do not believe a word of this; and consider that the American who wrote, vilely slandered the fair fame of his countrywomen. If the hours get weary in America there is a fund of amusement in studying the odd characters the, pssisengsr3 are made up of, from the old lady who is t-avelling alone, and who is "sure the engineers drink, and that the boilers are going to burst," to the emigrant who has left his fatherland for a home in the New World. We made lots of acquaintance, but one old gentleman rather got the "dead wood" on us. Wishing to open a conversation with him, in an artless eflag?"- wile Tooled at us a moment: "Young man," said he, "I do not think it was yoil, but it was probably some other fool." We did not make his acquaintance. Like a Gentleman.-A good mot is recorded of Mrs. Howard Paul, who, attired as Mr. Sims Reeves, and' standing on the stage of the Princess's Theatre, preparatory to singing, was rudely jostled and almost knocked down by a scene-shifter, who, of course, did not recognise her in the disguise. In the confusion of his work, and ignorant of the extent of the collision, the man simply hurried away without the least apology, at which Mrs. Paul was naturally indignant. A friend standing near immediately came to her assistance, and attempted to console her. "You may depend on it," said the friend, iu palliation of the servant's rude carelessness, "he did not know you in that dress; your make up is so perfect that he took you for a. man." That's possible," was the quiet rejoinder of Mrs. Howard Paul; but even if he did, he might 1. -t Kbn rI. We cull the following Advertisement" from the pen of "Josh Billings," the George Robins of Amerioa I kan sell for eighteen hundred and thirty-nine dollars, a pallas, a sweet and pensive retirement, lokated on the virgin banks ov the Hudson, kontaining 85 acres. The land is luxuriously diwded by the hand of natur and art, into pastor and tillage, into plain and deklivity, into stern abruptness and the dalliarse ov moss-tufted medder; streams of sparkling gladness (thick with trout) dansa through this wilderness of buty, tew the low musik ov the kricket and grasshopper. The evergreen sighs az the evening zeghir flits through its Bhadowy buzzum, and the aspen trembles like the love-smitten harte ov a damsell. Fruits of the tropicks, in golden buty, melt on the bows, and the bees go heavy and sweet from the fields to their garnering hives. The stables are worthy of the steeds ov Nimrod or the studs of Akilles, and ita henery was bilt expressly for the birds ov paradice; while somber in the distance, like the cave ov a hermit, glimpses are caught ov the dorg- house. Here poets have come and warbled their laze, here sonlptors have cut, here painters have robbed the scene ov dreamy landskapes, and here the philosopher diskovered the stun, which made him the alkimist ov natur. As the young moon hangs like a cutting ov silver from the blu breast of the ski, an angel may be seen each night dansing with golden tip- toes on the green. (N.B.-This angel goes with the place. ) Mrs. S. C. Hall, in her new work, tells the follow- ing humorous story concerning Tom Lavery and his wife's quarrel about a chest of drawers that they did not have" Oh, tell us that, granny darlint, ex- claimed little Tim Devereux, still holding his grand- father's hand; I want a story 1i0 bad.. VVeil, Tim, here it is," Baid the old woman, The chest of drawers will stand beautiful under the window, Baid Tom Lavery. Under the window repeated hia wire —as pretty a little woman as you'd see_ in day a walk, but with a cruel tongue that would glve nefceen to the dozen any day, and not a scornful •under the window,' she said again, with a soornfa! curl on her lip, it shall never go under the window while I have breath in my body! no, ^aUstand forenent the wm^w^w ere j won(jer you d j mired°It shall go under the window, Movna Lavery ■ it's too asy going I have been with vou tothely. You are never satisfied, full er fasting, and'think yall the world must curtsey to you; it shall so under the window, and you d better not dare hinder it!' «It never shall said Moyna; •I'll oitch the window into the street first.' And I'd pitch you after it for company, said Tom. On this Moyna raised a wirristhrue that you'd hear from this to Bantry, and Tom s loud voice had more noise than sense it-and Tom took the stick to his wife, and she screamed murder, ana at the lucky minute the door opened, and there, sure enough, stood Father Barry, and, as became a holy and good man, he asked them what they were at and what they were after, and as Moyna had the nimblest tongue, she said her hus- band was that omathawn that he would have the cheat of drawers under the window, which she would never give into, she'd lay her bones in the green churchyard first. B at whore's the chest of drawers P' said Father Barry-alad may be the fool's look didn't come over both their faces. The chest of drawers,' said one; Is it the chest of drawers,' said the other oh, sorra a chest of drawers we have at all—yet.' So I was just thinking it's a good way to got our lights before we take on about them."