Papurau Newydd Cymru

Chwiliwch 15 miliwn o erthyglau papurau newydd Cymru

Cuddio Rhestr Erthyglau

15 erthygl ar y dudalen hon

Illustrated Humour. •

Newyddion
Dyfynnu
Rhannu

Illustrated Humour. • Higher Education. Gerald I have never kissed a girl before. Geraldine: You have come to the wrong place I'm not running a preparatory school. A Sensible Suggestion. A steamship captain was explaining to some passengers that his colnpany had. considerable difficulty in finding names for their new ship3. They have all to end in 1 ic you know, the captaint explained. A voyager, who was pale and seedy, Mid, as he looked dismally at the rollinsf ciceazi-11 For an appropriate name, I would saggest Seasic.' Undeniable Evidence Customer Why don't you drive your, cat off the table, waiter ? Waiter Well, you see, sir, it's stewed rab- bit to-day, and the guv'nor he says the cus- tomers like to have, the cat in hevidence on these days. Too Much Like Work. ve Haven't you-got a home ?'"asked the sym- pathetic citizen." Yes," answered Plodding Pete. I had a nice home, but de first t'ing I knew it had a woodpile and a garden and a pump. And den it. got so much like a steady job dat I resigned." A Light Support. What is it, do you suppose, that keeps the moon in place and prevents it from falling 1" I think it must be the beams," replied Charlie, softly. Music That Doesn't Charm. Father Yes, my son." x What is a harpsichord 1" M A harpsichord, my boy, is an instrument which when heard makes a man feel sorry that he ever said anything unkind about a piano." Bridle and Blinkers. Fair Punter That was a very good bridle your jockey had on the grey mare. Owner Not nearly as good as the blinkers we had on the stewards. Didn't Know. Now, don't tell me any story about misfor- tune an' wantin' to be a hard worker, an' all that," said the hard-faced lady. I can see ribt through you." Gracious I" said Dismal Dawson, I know I ain't had nothin' to eat for three days, but,I didn't know it had thinned me down like that." I I Strict Indeed Jones had lately taken to lecturing on the teetotal platform. So you want to marry my daughter, sir What are your prineiptes 1 Are you temper- ate 1" Temperate Why. I am so strict that it gives me pain even to find my boots tight." Must Arrange Things Better. Clerk May I have a day's leave to-morrow, sir ? It is my mother-in-law's funeral. Employer: My dear Huber, this mustn't occur" again. Last week your wife died. and now your mother-in-law is going to be buried. Yon must anange things better in your family and see that they happen in the holidays. • m A Good Customer. Customer: I heard you tell your .last cus- tomer that this weather would last another week. Do you think it really will ?" Barber No, I don't; but he's a very good customer here. A Rustic Retort. The Two Army Doctors (who have descended fro n the diZ$Y heights to find outwherashouts they have lost themselves) Hi. there, Johnny, where are we t Rustic (in surprised tomles) Why, ye be in a balloon, bean t ye 7 A Remnant. Mrs Lomas I dotit see what she wanted to marry him for he has a cork leg, a gtasa eye, as well as a wig and false teeth. Mrs Smith Well, my dear, you know tba". woman always did have a hankering after rem- nants.

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