Papurau Newydd Cymru

Chwiliwch 15 miliwn o erthyglau papurau newydd Cymru

Cuddio Rhestr Erthyglau

23 erthygl ar y dudalen hon

Out of the Beaten Track.

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Passing Pleasantries. .

Newyddion
Dyfynnu
Rhannu

Passing Pleasantries. Letters of credit may be properly termed capital letters. It sometimes happens that a divorce i3 the part of wisdom. The paperhanger finds business good when it drives him to the wall. Beauty is but skin deep, so it is on an equal footing with freckles. Men may he bribed, but you can't induce women to take "hush money." All men are born ignorant, and lots of them never succeed inoutgrowing it. A small boy is always very industrious when it is time for him to go to bed. A single epigram may outlive a volume oi machine-made philosophy. .-r- Every time a man looks at his neighbour's fauita he uses a magnifying glass. The more a gas jet blows the less light it affords. Some men resemble gas jetoJ. Every man may have his price, but his neigh- bours consider it a fancy estimate. Artist: My dear madam, you wish me to ( paint portraits of your deceased husband and his ancestry, and yet you say you have no material to help me. Afrg. Bouncier,y: Nonsense! You painted a very good portrait of Moses, who has been dead longer than my husband and his people. You seo. my daughter has become engaged to a gent of quality abroad, and, as he is coming to see us this 3e-a.30n, you musi let me have eome tip-top "ancestry" portraits without delay. "I have invented something very useful." "What is it?" I "An alarm clock letter-box which rings when a man goes by with a letter in his pocket to post for his wife." Mrs. Bunting ('near-sighted): What is the object of the notice on this tree, Bunting (who sees that it reads. "Beware of the dog "): It is put there that he who reads may ran. Poppin (just returned from America): When I was in New York I stopped at the beat hotel. Dudley: Rather costly, wasn't it? Poppin: No, I only stopped to admire it. Mr. Callateight: Didn't you say that you,- dog's bark was worr.D than his bite? Miss Tete-a-Tete: Yes. Mr. Callateight: Then, for goodness' sake, keep him from barking. He has just bitten me Editor: My dear sir. your jokes are both original and good. Budding humourist ig highly flattered. Editor: Yes, sir. they are, but the good ones are pot origina!. and the original ones are not- good. Lawyer: Where did he kiss you? Prett- Defendant: On the month, sir. Lawyer: No. no! you don't understand. I mean where were you? Defendant (blushing): In his arms, sir. A vacation makes some people so lazy they don't care if they never have to work again. In crder to mount the ladder of fame an orator mivst win round after round of applause. It is foolish to attempt the cultivation of friendship by giving your friends an occasional dig. Revenge may be sweet at first, but it gra- dually acquires a flavour that is anything but agreeable. I The man who ridicules honesty, virtue, and truth may not be insane, but he might just as well be. A cynic is a man who pretends to be tired of the world, but in reality he is a man of whom I the world is tired. The average man is better at confessing the mistakes of other people than he is at acknow- ledging his own. "That theatrical manager talks as though he wanted the earth." "But he doesn't. He merely wants a few stars." Pete: Jim, do you know the height of impu- dence? Jim: I don't know the interpretation of the word impudence. Pete: Well, it is tak- ing shelter in an umbrella shop during a thun- derstorm. She: Don't you think it is better to marry for love than for money? He: Certainly, if the contracting parties are both wealthy. "Thinga always go in clusters." "That's so. I proposed to a girl last Satur- day night, afod she has refused me every night this weak." Mr3. Skinnum: Your milk is half water. You needn't leave any after this morn'ug. Milkman: Shali I leave the bill regularly every morning as usual? "It's very kimd of you, Elizabeth, but I'd rather buy my cigars myself." said Mr. Moggi. Seven for a shilling is rather too cii-enV' "I know it 's cheap, John, t-eplietf Mrs. MoggE, but I thought there must be one good one in the seven." TALENTED. Junior Partner: I see you have engaged a new man. Is he a good salesman ? Senior Partner: Good salesman? By jovc! I should think he ;s. I had to send for the police to prevent him from taik.ng we into making him a partner. "Why is Miss Golfi-r so distrait to-night she looks as though she had some tremejodous pro- blem on her mind." "She has. She accepted an invitation to read a paper before the 'Yonug Housekeepers' Club," opon Is it proper to use. brasses at a tea?' and she has just discovered that she read t 'Is it proper to use brasses at a tee?"

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MR. KE>>ARD\S APPOINT MOT.

WITH THE WELSHMEN. -

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CHINA S LIFE-LONG FRIEND

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TEMPERANCE CONFERENCE I AT…

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BATTING AND BOWLING AVERAGES.

CARDIFF AND DISTRICT JUNIOR,…

.-1 LAWN TENNIS.

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TWELFTH ANNUAL MEETING TO-MORROW.

¡T...&.! South Wales Tide…

FOREIGN ARRIVALS OF LOCAL…

SHIPPING CASUALTIES.

LOCAL AMUSEMENTS.

THE EMPIRES.

LOCAL NEWS ITEMS.

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