Evening Express

RAILWAY ACCIDENT IN AUSTRALIA. Seven Killed: 26 Injured. Sydney. Friday.—A terrible accident occurred to the 5.25 train from Sydney to Hurstville. The train, which was crowded with pas- sengers, ran off the rails near Sydenham, and went over n embankment. Seven persons were killed and 26 injurNi.- I E enter.

MERTHYR STIPENDIARY. More Complimertfs. Last night, in the magistrates'- room at Mer- thyr Police-court. Mr. T. Marohant Williams. stipendiary magistrate, was presented with addresses from the Merthyr Ministerial Union and the Council of the Evangelical Free Churches of Merthyr complimenting him on the stanrl he had taken in the interests of justice in the district. Mr. Williams, in responding, stated that such appreciation afforded Lim encourage- ment and strength. His sole desire was to have a pure court, or, at any rate, that an honest attempt should be made to extend an equal measure of justice to all clasaerich and poor, masters and workmen, old and yonng-and he had every reason to believe, having regard to the cordial assistance he received from the great majority of the justices, that the courts of the district would eventually be as pure and free from cort-uptiokas the highest courts of the realm.

Foreign Arrivals and Movements of Local Steamers. Armstor left Newport News for Dakar 13th. Oaiurose left Norfolk for Havre 14th. Gena left Hull for Barry 14th. Cyril passed Brow Head for Waterford 13th. Tredegar left Bilbao for Rotterdam 14th. Merthyr arrived Castro 34th. Treherbert left Barcelona for Almeria 14th. Pontypridd left Barcelona for Pomaron 14th. Oakhy left Trepoli 13th. Moorby left Aicxa.n'lria for Batoum 14th. Raisby paased Algiers for Hull 13th. Lackenhy arrived Stratoni 13th. Stakesby arrived Huelva 14th. Gwaiia arrived West Hartlepool 9th. Garth arrived Dunkirk 8th. Hatfield arrived Lisbon 14th. Craiglee left Genoa for Huelva 14th.

South Wales Tide Table. .• I #4 s i J i 2 5 a I s I i s i | Satur- ( Aiomi'j; 3 49 3 30 A 46 4 44 4 45 day, Even lit,' 4 23 4 3 4 36 5 11 5 12 Feb. 16 H" vri.- -Q 3 25 9 29 7 27 5 26 10 buu- l Morni'g 4 47 4 J4 4 43 5 47 6 49 day, Kvetii'g 5 13 5 1 5 8 6 7 6 10 Feb. 17 I Height 3-! 7 28 3 32 1 30 6 30 0 jwoii- Jrtor'uK 5 o7 5 26 6 St o 3S I 6 39 >a»y. Evenin' 6 0 5 50 5 53 6 52|<>S6 Feb. 18 Height 31 1 30 5 |24 I 55 7|33 2 'lues* flaorn'ig 6 21 [ 6 1.3 6 17 7 13 7 23 day, < tivjuiK 6 42 | 6 3o| 6 39 7 35 7 37 Feb, 19 Hfigli". 24 9 32 ^,3 55 0 3b 2 25 9 East Dock 3itl. ? Alexandra Do^lc tK*atU Basiii East Dock 3itl. ? Alexandra Dlt tReatl1 Basiii

CADBURY'S COCOA is absolutely pure, being eutirelv free from kola, malt. hops, alkali, or wiy foreign admixture. Caution: The public ihonld insist on having CADBURY'S—3ol«J onlj in Packets and Tina—as other Cocoas are oft»n substituted for the sake, of extra profit. e4

Passing Pleasantries. "What got me into trouble," said Meander* ing Mike, "was my patient disposition." "I thought yon said sometliin' about klepto- mania," rejoined Plodding Pete. "Well, mebbe. You stee, I jes' kep' goin' along an' takin' everything wit'out sayin' a word." Cholly fdescribing a visit to his fiancee): Yaas, when I entered the pawlah, don-cher know. I found Imr staring at vacancy, tnd- L Pepprey: Looking at your photograph, was she? "Mr. Simpkins and our daughter must be engaged." "Do they seem fond of each other?" "No, but be has begun to find fault with her." "Your hair is falling off frightfully. You'll be bald soon if it keeps on." "I'll be balder still if it doesn't keep on." "You can't seem to keep a hired girl, Mrs. Baxter." "Yes. I can; but when it comes to half keeping two or three policeman along with her I won't." Old Lady (in shocked tones to youtiful smoker): Dear, dear! Wouldn't your faAer be dreadfully pained if he saw you? 3 Youthful Smoker: I rather think he would. This is one of his best cigars. 'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through our home, No matter wherever our footsteps would roam, In bed. or in clothes, or whatever you will- Those Christmas tree bristles all clung 'round as still. AFTER STEALING A KISS I THE DARK. 'Did you think it was a ghost?" "No, it smacked too much of reality." FACTS IN THE CASE. Man quotes the "pinch of poverty," While, as we know, the touch Of poverty is really An able-bodied clutch. I CONFIDENT. Nervous Mother: Are you sure, Willie, that the ice is safe? "Oh. yes It wouldn't be safe if there was another boy with me, but I'm going alone." NO TIME FOR DETAILS. "Well, my dear, what did you see in Europe?" "See Te had no time for details. We saw only Europe." ON THE SANDS. "Delighted t) see you, Bishop! Down for a, rest. I presume?" 'Yes' 1 been in the slums for a month." "Ah: indeed! But. then, it's never too late to mend, leu know." A MISTAKE. The pa.r of irue lovers passed up therisle and approached the altar. The bridegroom was a fine strapping youth of some eighty-five summers, while the bride was slightly younger, her age being somewhere in the neighbourhood of seventeen. The officiating clergyman ad- vanced to meet them, and, with a slight wave of his h'lnd. whispered that the font was at the other end of the church. "Font," said the aspiring Benedick, "we don't want the font. w«j ve come to be married." "Oh, pardon me," replied the parson, "I thought you wanted this child christened." INVOLVED. He: Whv does she hold her skirts up a fine day like this? She: Well, she's a great horsewoman, and so in the habit of holding up her habit that when she is ont of the habit she is in the habit of forgetting that she is out of it. WOULDN'T BE BEATEN. Little Elsie (boastingly): We've 17 rooms in our house; and we've a parlour-maid, a house- maid. a kitchen-maid, and—and— Wee Mary: We've only got four rooms: but we've got a parlour made, a bedroom made, and a dining-room made, and a kitchen made, and a wash-house and a bath-room nearly finished. IRISHISMS. Several excellent Irishisms, perpetrated in England, are told in a contemporary.A well- known firm of carters labelled some goods they intended to deliver, "If the parcel is not de- livered to-day, please communicite- This form of useful information recalls similar efforts. There was. for instance, the Irish advertiser, who had printed on the sheet en- closed in the envelope, "If unopened in a week, please return at once." UNWISE WOMAN. He: I know a man who would be willing to give a thousand dollars to hear you sing. She: Totally deaf. I presume? He: Yes. And after lie had heard you he would give another thousand dollars to be deaf again, I imagine. This fable for ladies teaches that the easiest way to irritate the gentleman to whom one may be married is to guess his jokes in advance.

Shipping Casualties. .[Lloyd's Telegrams.] Friday. Setos and Daghestan.—Bombay telegraphs; German steamer Setos, arriving, and British steamer Daghestan, leaving har- bour, have been in collision. Former vessel Bank. Latter badly damaged; lias been surveyed; stem stove in. forepeak full water; bulkhead has sustained no apparent damage; cargo will have to be discharged; must go into dock for survey and repairs Setos has sank in 25ft. of water. Vinceones, French barque, put back Nonmea with loss of boats, some sails, and bulwarks stove in. Otto Gildemeister.—San Francisco cables: Report received from Seattle states: Coaster, arrived, reports Otto Gildemeister spoken dismasted Jannnry 30, latitude 33 N.. longitude 127 W., heading east by north, only three lower masts standing. Cato -lud Fern-dale.—Steamers Cato,. for Chris- tiania, and Femdale, for Tyne. grounded on north shore. below Gravesend. at mid- night; both floated this morning without assistance, proceeded. Buccaneer. Baltimore cables: Steamer Buccaneer, Philadelphia for Jamaica, arrived Chesapeake leal:ng. Carrick Castle, steamer, for Belfast, coal, leaving Maryport, gro'ded; floated, pro- ceeded. Plnt,o.-S,vansea telegraphs: Steamer Pluto, which grounded off We-. Pier, assisted off after discharging abou; 210 tons coal into barges; steamer now in dock. Roman and Garibaldi.—Liverpool telegraphs: Steamer Reman, from Portland (Maane) been in collision with vessel Garibaldi, Liverpool for Mobile; damage unknown. Latter left in charge c tug in Carnarvon Bay: probably be towed back here. Mars.—Hamburg telegraphs: Danish steamer Mars, England for Hhoe, in tow. got fast in ice mouth of "oer; assistsd off. towed into Gluckstadt. Steer navigation closed. Ibrail telegraphs: Suowstc,ii; 6deg. of frost; Sxi.'ina telegraphs: Very bid weather prevails here. Otoyo -Charlesi.own telegraphs: Spanish steamer Otoyo. previously reported ashore Hunting Island, has tairen no damage, at present ashore fore and aft: lies in an exnosed position; every chance getting her off should weather con«'nue fine; arrange- ments being made for salvage; assistance sent from here. Aioedene, schooner, of Newcastle, passed Alde- burgb to.dy, foretoj last and jibboom carried away; apparent-7. been in collision. Rcalia. steam trawler. ? iated, and towed into Peterhead. Szent Lazzlo.-Fire broke out in fore part of steamer Szent T.:ii;xlo. dng at Nicholson's WTiarf. River Thames, tMs morning. Sonthwold telegram stat. Steamer, appa- rently of North Shields, collided with origantine off» Southw- ld this morning; carried away foretopmi-st and bowsprit; names of vessels unknown. La.nd'frona telegraphs: Considerable ice in sound; harbour accessible for steamers, but not sailing vessels. Copenhagen telegraphs: lOdeta frost; fairway full of drift ice; the ic* has become much stronger. Ashton.—Yokohama telegraphs: Steamer Ash- ton ashore at Ota. Tstgaru Straits; vessel submerged forward: crew saved. OlimDO—A^eii telegraphs: fit-earner Olimpo returned circulating nnmp out order, con- denser out order: will be able proceed few davs. John Paul. American schooner, from Barbados, arrived Bermuda. lost sails. Spartan Prince.—Gibraltar telegraphs: Re steamer Spartan Prince-Part. crew landed here by steamer Newa; weather too roagh to do anything. Herokles Hercnles. steamer, with lighters, gone Tangier for shelter, owing stormy weather. Galatz telegraphs: Tnlcha reports ice all gone: blowing gale, with snowstorm: Sdeg. frost. Copenhagen telegraphs: Lappegrund light vessel left station on account ice.

YOU OUGHT TO KNOW That Holdroyd's Gravel Pills ara a positive cure for Gravel. Lumbago, Pains in the Back. Dropsy. Wind. Water Complaints. Diseases of the Kidneys, Bladder, Urinary Organs, Stone, Gout, Sciatica, and Rheu- matism. Try one box; if not watisfieri money returned. 111. lid. all Chemists. Post free 12 stamp*.—Holdroyd's Medical Hall. Clackheaton. Yorks. e8741-2 Impurities in the Blocd.—" "e have seen hosts of letters from people who have received great benefit from the use of Clarke's Blood Mixture. It cannot be too highly estimated, for it cleanses ahd clears the blood from all im- purities." This is a good testimonial from the Family Doctor." which goes on further to say:—"It is the fineiit, Blood Purifier that science and skill have brought to light, a.nd we can with the utmost confidence recommend it to our subscribers and the public generally." For Scrofula. Scurvy. Eczema. Bad Legs, Skin and Blood Diseases, Pimples and Sores of all kinds, its effects are marvellous. Thousands of wonderful cures have been effected by it. Clarke's Blood Mixture is sold everywhere, at 2s. 9d. per bottle. Beware of wortlileis imita- tions asd substitute#. fq

List of Preachers. LLANDAFF CATHEDRAL. QUINQU AGESIMA SUNDAY.—In residence, the Very Rev. the Dean and the Ven. the Arch- deacon of Monmouth. Eight a.m. and mid- day: Holy Communion. Eleven a.m.: Chants; Kyrie and Credo. Eyre in E flat; anthem, "If yo love Me" (Monk); hymns. 210 and 229; preacher, the Archdeacon. Three p.m.: Litany. 3.30 p.m.: Cobb in C; anthem. "God is onr hope and strength" (Greene); hymns, 238 and 213: preacher, the Rev. Minor Canon Skrim- shire. Offertories for Cathedral Expenses and Choir Fund. I ANGLICAN CHURCHES. Eglwys Dewi Sant (Welsh) (8.0 and 11.0 a.m. and 6.30 p.m.).-Morning, Rev. T. Richards; evening, the Vicar. St. Dyfrigs.-Moriiiii, Rev. H. A. Coe; even- ing, Rev. E. H. J. Hutchins St. Mary's (Holy Communion at 8.0 a.m. and 11 a.m.).—Morning. Rev. E. B. Rand; evening. Rev. G. W. H. Harding. St. Monic.Vs (Cat)-, ays,Alarn inL;, Rev. R. Shelley Plant; evening, Rev. A. W. Parry. Si. Stephen's.—Rev. A. G. Russell. I Christ C'hnrch.-M)rnillg, Mr. J. W. John- atone; evening. Rev. C. W. Lampn". BAPTIST. Albany-road.—Rev. Howell Wilhams. Ainon (Welsh) (11.0 a.m. and 6.0 p.m.).—Rev. D E. Roberts. -Bethany (St. Mary-street-—Rev. W. E. Winks. Bethel (Mount Stuart-square).—Rev. T. Davies. Ebemrzer ¡Pearl.e:roeti.-Re\' Caleb Joelina. Hope (Cowbridge-oad).—Rev. T W Med hurst (pastor). Pembroke-roaid.—M~. A. Howe. Tredegarville.-Rev. Jameil Baillee. 0 ——— BTJRIiE CHRISTIAN. Cowbrioge-road.—rtoni'ng, R:v. M. de J. I Lark; evsning. Rev. W. S. Welch. j Diamond-street.—Morning. Rev. W. S. Welch; evening. Rev. M. doe J. Lark. Miskin-st-reet.—Rev. C. G. Hawken. CALVINISTIC METHODIST. Clifton-rtreet.—Mr. D. D. Rees (Trevecca College. Cathedral-road.—Rev. E. R. Harries (Aberavopl. Plasnewydd (Keppoch-str,et).-Rev. J. Pulford Williams (pastor). CONG-RE Q-ATIONAL. Central (Queen-street).—Rev. W. Spurgeon; evening subject, Rest-iution of Despair." Charles-street-.—Rev. J. T. Peace. Hannah-street-.—Rev. J. Rhys Price (Tallis, town, Mon.). Richmond-road.—Rev. W. C. Parry. St.a.cey-rc)a,d.-Rev. E. Jone-s. St. Paul's iCowbridge-road).—Rev. J. H. Walker. Wood-strect.P,ev. J. Williamson, M.A. PRESBYTERIAN CBCURCH OF ENGLAND. Windsor-place.-Rev. A. Macinillan. Roa-th PaTk.-Re-r. W. E. Shaw. PRESBYTERIAN CECK OF WALES. FORWARD KOVEKENT CENTRE. Crwys-hall.—Rev. J. Williams. Clive-road-hall.-F.ev. F. H. Leybonrne. East Moon-hall.-Morning and evening, R. H. G. Howell. Grangetown-hall.—Rev. R. R. Roberts, Aber- dare. I-le-,ith-hall.-Erangelist Merriman. Memorial-hall.—Rev. T. Badham (Pontypridd). PRIMITIVE METHODIST. Cottrell-road.-M-orning, Mr S. Pinch; evening. L. Coleman. Dalton-st-rset.—Morning, Supply; evening, Rev. J. Whittock. Mount Tahor.-Morning, Rev. Peter Kay; even- ing. Rev. A. E. Retvley. Ssvem-road.—Morning, Mr. J. Stanton; even- ing. Yr. Pinch. UNITED METHODIST FREE CHTJRCH. Cathays-terrace.—Morning, Rev. H. Fry; even. ing, Mr. W. G. naswell. Newport-ro-,td.-Morning, Rev. T. P. Dale; even. ing. Mr. W. D. Baker. Penarth-road.—Morning, Mr. Kingdom; even- ing. Rev. H. Fry. UNITARIAN. Weet-gi-ov,e.-Rev. J. Tyssul Davies. Morning sermon, "Letters from God"; evening, Handel musicai service. WtESLEY AN. WESLEY CIRCUIT. Wesley.-P.ev. W. R. Maltby; evening, Rev. Owen Watkins. Cathays.—Mr. J. Diamond; evening, Rev. T. Gldading. Roath Park.—Rev. Owen Watkins; evening, Rev. W. R. Malt-by. Whitchurch.-Morning, Mr. Kyte; evening, Mr. Richards. CANTON CIRCUIT. Conway-road.-Morning, Rev. T. Miller; even- ing, Rev. W. Maltby. Clare-gardens.—Morning. Mr. Francis; even- ing, Rev. E. A. Buchanan. Ludlow-street.-Moming, Rev. W. Maltby; even. ing, Mr. F. J. Beavan. Victoria Park.-Morning, Rev. E. A. Buchanan; evening. Rev. T. Miller. Ely.-Morning, Mr. Burgees; evening, Mr. Dia- mond. Llandaff.—Morning, Mr. Payne; evening-, Mr. Ford. LOUDOUN-SQUARE CIRCUIT. Peoples-hall.—Rev. A. E. Balch. M.A. Angelina-street (8.0 p.m.).—Sister Kate. ROATH-ROAD CIRCUIT. Roth-road.—Morning. Rev. E. Smith: evening, Rev. H. Wostenholm. Broad way.-Moriiing, Rev. H. Wostenholm; evening. Rev. A. E. galinon.* Splott-road.-Morning, Rev. R. Cape; evening, Rev. E. Smith. LlKnishen.—Morning, Mr. Robson; evening, Mr. Tredinnick. PENARTH CIRCUIT. Arcot-street.—Morning, Rev. J. Jenkin; even. ing, Mr. May. Trinity.-Morning. Rev. S. Y. Richards; even. ing, Rev. J. Pelloit. Cadoxton.—Morning. Rev. J. Pellalt; evening, Mr. May. Barry.—Morning, Rev. J. Jeffreys; evening, Rev. J. Peilott. Barry Bock.—Morning, Mr. May; evening. Rev. J. Jeffreys. Barry Island.-M-orning, Mr. Turner; evening, Mr. Panniers. Dynas Powis.-Morning, Rev. J. Jeffreys; even. ing, Mr. Firth. Where only one name is given the same preacher officiates a'; both services. 'Except where otherwise stated all the ser- vices referred to in this column commence at 11.0 a.m. and 6.30 p.m.

CARD'FF NURSES' INSTITUTE. There has already been acknowledged in these columns the receipt by the Cardiff and District Branch of the Queen Victoria's Insti- tute for Nurses of the proceeds of the collec- tion taken at the recent memorial service at the Park-hall. The committee has now grate- fully to acknowledge in addition offertories taken at the following Churches at the ser- vices held on the day of the late Queen's funeral:—St. John's, £ 20 8s. 6d.; St. James's, L9 4a.; St. Monica's, es. ld.; St. John's (Can- ton). £ 3 lis. 3d.; St. Andrew's. £ 5 10s. 8d.; and St. Saviour's. 1E3 18s. lid. The last amount is in addition tola collection of £ 2 8s. 5d. taken for the institute in December last

TRANSPORTED KING. King Edward, it is to be hoped, will find his Parliament kinder than that which sentenced one 'of hia ancestors to transportation for no offence at all. It was all a mistake, of course, but an Act which found its way on to the Statute Book when the nineteenth century was young enacted the punishment of fourteen years' transportation for a certain offence, and declared that, upon conviction, "one half thereof should go to the King, and one half to the informer!" The mistake was brought about by a careless striking out of part of a clause, and it was set right (says a London evening paper) on Lord Stanhope calling atten- tion to the matter in 1816.'

LIVING IN EIGH r REIGNS. In view of what haa lately been said and written about English people living in five reigns, the following particulars may prove of intereilt :Everyone who was above 50 years old in November. 1066, had lived in eight reigns. Everyone who wak-s above 86 in 14B5 had lived in eight reigns. Everyone who was above 75 in 1558 had lived in eight reigns.

THE GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER, THOMPSON'S BURBOCK PILLS. Overcome the worst forms of diseases and the fouilMt state of the Blood. Stomach. Liver, and Kidneys; the* go to the core of every disease, where no other medicine has power to reach. In Boxes, at Is. lid. and 2s. 9d. each. Sold by all Chemists, or from the Burdock Fill Mamu. fjjdtsrv, QXiOfcJiyUyt, Sffaaasa. Ate

Letters must be written on one side of th» paper only. Rejected communications cannot be returned. Only brief, bright letters on subjects ot live" interest are desired. We do not accept letters which have appeared in other journals. All letters intended for this paper must be addressed, Editor, Evening Express,' Car- diff." It will save unnecessary tronble if correspon- dents observe and exactlv follow the form in which letters appear in this column. Each lettor must be accompanied by the real name and address of the sender.

I INSURANCE OF YEOMANRY. To the Editor of the "Evening Express." Sir,—May I ask the members of. the Cardiff Corporation and the general pqfclic of Car- I diff, on behalf of the Glamorganshire Impe- rial Yeomanry, especially the Cardiff mem- hcl". of this force. if any arrangements have been made as to its insurance? The first draft were insured for £ 250 apiece, and I presume the Becond draft will be dealt with in the same liberal manner. I am sure that the men here, many of whom have wives and relatives depending upon them, would appreciate anything of this kind to the full extent.—I am, Ac.. A TROOPER. Barrosa Barracks, B Company, Imperial Yeomanry, C Block, No. 3 Section, Aldershot.

LATE KING MilAN. Curious Hites Before the ClosIng of the Coffin. Remarkable rites were observed before the closing of the coffin containing the remains of the late King Milan, at Vienna, the other day. Having anointed the dead man's forehead with consecrated oil, the priest mixed what was left with a glass of consecrated wine and poured it over the white satin pall witb which the body, excepting the face, waø covered, so that the mixture trickled through the pall. A picture of the Virgin was then placed on the body; the late King's relatives kissed both the picture and the dead man's hands, and, lastly, the lid of the coffin, which had a giass panel, was screwed down. An immense wreath of laurel, orchids. hyacinths, lilac, lilies of the valley, and palm- leaves, with black moire ribbons, and an in. scription in Servian, "To his good father, from Alexander," was placed on the coffin. An imposing escort will accompany the King's remains to the terminus to-day, when every precaution will be taken to prevent demonstrations by the Servian students.

"AN ENGLISHWOMAN'S LOVE LETTERS." Oscar Wilde Not the Anthor. Yesterday morning to an inquiring "Star" representative (r. Murray, the publisher, abso- lutely denied that Mr. Wilde was the mysterious author. But further he would not go. As a matter of fact, the manuscript of "An Englishwoman's Love Letters" never was type- written. It was entrusted to the tender care of a well-known literary agent who lives just off the Strand. It was written in black ink, with a pen (what kind of pen we are not quite certain), and sent on to Mr. Murray. Mr. Murray straightway published it.

LOVE'S LABOUR LOST. Old man Drew—"Hi" Drew they oa-11. him in his own town. forty mile* from Chicago—is a. man of generons imI.ull!8, bnt sOJrn!timC8 a little lacking in foresight. One day (says a local paper) he came into town on the sly to buy a birthday gift for his wife He cast a.bcut vigorously, and struggl-fed in a valiant way through the crowds, finally being washed ashore in the dcor way of a hardware establishment. Daspatring of lighting his way any further, made up his mind to make hie purchase right th-ere. Martha wanted a new stove, any- way. So he allowed himself to be taken in hand by an energetic salesman, and had soon purchased for 21 dollars an article that was guaranteed to cook anything all at one time. He had it expressed out to the village, and. by cunning strategy, succeeded in getting it fixed up in the kitchen on Tuesday morning without Martha's knowledge. When she saw it she hugged him and beamed all over with delight. Then she went out and killed a young sucking-pig and two chickens, and prepared for a. royal spread. Suddenly a. bla.nk look passed over the old man's face. "Why. what is the matter. Drew?" exclaimed his wife. "Look here," said he, "here I've been and bought a gas-stove for 21 dollars, and there ain't no gas for nine jnile«!"

SWOLLEN CAPTAIN, Sir William Harcourt, so the story goes, once dined on an English man-of-war, and, a storm coming up, the captain, who was a very small man, persuaded him to occupy his state- room for the night. The steward was not notified of the arrangement, and the following morning at six o'clock he brought a cup of coffee to the captain's door. Knocking twice without receiving a reply was most unusual, so he hastily pushed open the door and inquired, "Don't you wiah your coffee this morning, sir?" Sir William gave a ailore, and the steward was amazed to see a liuge figure turn over under the bed-clothes. Smash went the enp and saucer, and the frightened sailor tore off to the surgeon's office. "For heaven's sake, sir," he gasped, "come to the captain! He's speechless and swollen to ten times his natural size!"

BOOTS, NOT GAMMON. Some fifty years ago Sir Harry Smith, aflfcer whose wife Ladysmith ia named, was Governor of Cape Colony, and mainly responsible for quelling the Kaffir rebellions on the eastern frontier of the Cape. After one of these arduous campaigns his itoop* returned to Cape Town in a terribly im- poverighed condition as regaj-ded their outfits- torn tunics, battered helmets, ragged trousers —many of them without boots. They were paraded for Sir Harry's inspection, and he congratulated them on their gallint conduct, their dmart and soldief-like appearance. Ac. This proved too much for an old colour-ser- geant, very much down at heel, and an old favourite of the general. Stepping forward from the ranks, he respectfully saluted Sir Harry. "Begging your pardon. Sir he said; "we don't want no gammon, we want. boots."

NOT TO BE BELItVEO. One of the most ingenious methods (says the "Globe") of seeing the procession was that adopted by a gentleman who arrived late and could not get nearer than the twentieth row. Taking off his shiny patent leather boot he held it high above his head and used it as a mirror. He remarked to a neighbour that his efforts were not bootless. • X

THE KING AS JOURNALIST, I*, is very interesting, if true, as stated in the "British Weekly," that th-s King wrote a, large part of the obituary rfotiee of his mother which appeared in the "Times" on the day following her death. It is said to have been written some years ago.

SIR HENRY IRVING'S EXPERIENCE. Sir Henry Irving, it is interesting to read, can recall one memorable evening when he was advertised to read the "Lady of Lyons in a, Scottish town, and not a single auditor put in an appearance. "And would you believe," says Sir Henry, with a twinkle in his eye when he tells thisfetory. "I never had a better night's sleep in my life."

CURIOUS CORONATION CUSTOM. A curious old coronation custom came to an end (says the "St. James's Gazette") when the Government bought the Isle of Man. The island was granted by Henry IV. to Sir John Stanley and his heirs in 1406 on the condition that they should always present two falcons to the King of England on the occasion of hisi coronation. These falcons were last rendered to George IV. on his coronation day by the Duke of Athole. A parcel van bearing the letters "E.R." caused great attention in a blocked line of carriages Oil the Embankment, London, yes- terday. The letters resembled ordinary printed capitals, and offered a striking con. trast (thinks the "Daily Chronicle") to the cursive letters of "V.R which usually deco- rated the parcel vans. 1'"

CHEESE-POISONING. A serious case of cheese poisoning recently occurred in America. A portion of the cheese which gave rise to the poisoning was sent for examination to the State Laboratory of Hygiene at Ann Arbor. The bacteriological examination revealed tfie presence of the colon bacillus in the virulent form. The colon bacillus its a germ which is always present in the alimentary canal of warm-blooded aaitual?.

FOOTBALL GOSSIP. R. C. Phillips and G. Paget torn out for Oil, fynydd to-day. W. Thomas and D. Morris gave a fine display for Cilfynydd against Cardiff Loudouns on Saturday last, and were undoubtedly the best three-quarters on the field. The Cilfynydl Football Club are holding their annual smoking-concert on Thursday evening next at the Richards Arms Hotel, Friends are invited to attend. Penygraig did well at Bristol on Saturday. The result (a goal to a try) was a very credit- able performance and under the disadvantage of playing only seven forwards threeparts of the game. Pontypridd and Penygraig are down for a league match to-day, and an exciting struggle should be witnessed for the two points. Harry Jones, the Penygraig captain, was by far the best forward on the field last Saturday, and as a sound scrimmrv-ger he has not a supe- rior in Wales, yet he is not recognised even in the county. Why ? Llwynypia have only two points out of a pos. eible eight in the leaguie competition; their prospect of winning the cup seems very remote indeed. Percy Bush has made a welcome re- appearance in the Penygraig ranks, and is a warm favourite with the "hill" club's sup- porters. What has become of Police-constable George Evans this season? Surely, there are still many years of football left in this sterling forward? Penygraig will have the better of the argu. ment at half-back to-day. Davies and Ingram are a warm pair. and will take a lot of beat. ing. Frank Sugar resumes his place in the Peny. graig pack to-day. having recovered from th6 injuries he received in December. Next season he will undoubtedly prove to be the "Bradshaw of Wales." ? L. R. Roose (late of Cardiff University) gave, a marvellous display in goal at the trial match at Wrexham on Monday last, and ensured his cap once again. Every effort will be made by the Ebbw Vale Club during the summer months to improve their ground It is their intention to run a couple of athletic meetings so as to secure the necessary funds. It is rumoured that W. Meredith, the famous Welsh yit-ernational and captain of the Man. chester City Football Club, may be seen in the ranks of the Aberdare team in one of their matches on &n off day before the end of the season. W. J. Jones (Aberdare) is the first player from a. South Wales club to obtain his international cap in the "Soccer" code. This makes the honour ever so much more valuable. Tlte Aberaman Association Club have at last secured a permanent ground, viz., the Blaen. gwawr Field, and are going to have it put in order at once. Gus Gould will have an opportunity of show, ing his western detractors to-day what he can do. Walker, who does duty for Newport at full back to-day, and who made a very poor show against Blackheath, made a great improvement against Llanelly last week. His kicks to touch were grand. It is claimed that Needs, of Bristol (formerly of Newport), would have been a sounder sub- stitute for Phillips to-day in the Uskside team than Wade. Partridge is an absentee from the Newport pack to-day. Taking a rest, likely. Cycling is beginning to lift its head again at Newport after a very long "outings." Newport Gymnastic team play Leeds in the first round for the Adams Shield at Newport Gymnarsium next Saturday. The Ebbw Vale Football and Athletic Club are holding a large sports on Easter Tuesday. "If oar best men had not gone to Edinburgh to fight for their country," said a Llwynypia man to a player on the other side last Satur- day, "we'd give Pontypridd something to go on with!" The Welsh students at Edinburgh Univer- sity gave a, warm reception to the Welsh team 1ut week. You had to pay sixpence for a shave at Edinburgh last Saturday, and some of the Welshmen know it! After Pontypridd's victory over Llwynypia last Saturday, the ultimate result of the Glamorgan League honours is more of a Chinese puzzle than ever. Cwmpark has once again an Ailociation team; so have the Porth teachers. Ebbw Vale ought to have scored an easy victory over Mountain Aeh on Saturday last. They pressed throughout the game, but could only register six minors. It will be a grand tossle at Swansea to-day. Swansea have a. good team out and the ground will be dry. If they don't do the trick even Swansea people will begin to believe in the supeiiority of Newport. "We don't mind a dropped goal," said a Pontypridd man at Llwynypia last Saturday. "What is to our credit is the fact that Llwynypia failed to cross our line once." And then he went into tbf" "Ivor Hael" to cele- brate the victory. Dobson was about the most gentlemanly player of the Llwynypia forwards last Satur- day. Many of his confreres can take a lesson from him. Jowett is making a capital display for the all whites now. Although Gordon is about again, and nearly as well as ever, it would not be advisable to shift the youngster for him. As a matter of fact, "Banky" physically ia. probably, as good as ever, but it must be admitted he is going a bit rock^just at pre- sent. Yet, in some clab matches he rises to his old heights. Some of the papers are suggesting Bancroft's retirement from international football. There is not very much of the milk of human kind- ness about U3 in football matters. "Banky" was accused years ago of what someone called "gallery" play, and the name has stuck to him like that given to a dog in the old saying. Hearty congratulations to W. J. Jones (Aber- dare) on obtaining his international cap for Wales against Scotland and to Hugh Jones (Aberdare), on being selected aa reserve full- back. It is very probable that the latter player will also be selected in one of the following matches. Serines ought to find his way into the Welsh team against Irefand. His status as the clever- est man in the open playing in Wales to-day ought to be enough, apart from any scrimmag- ing consideration, to make his selection certain against the Irish forwards, who play a game peculiarly their own and can best be check- mated by men of the Serines calibre. In a fortnight's time, given fine weather, the levelling of t-ho Neath ground will be com- pleted. Mr. Tom Jones, of the Bird-in-Hand. who is carrying out the improvement. has made excellent progress. The Neath Club will play the concluding matches of the season on the new" ground, and thus save the cricket pitch. Well, it's nice to be able to say something encouraging about the Neath Club, isn't it? A correspondent explains that Hellings's offence lay in his throwing a plate across the dinner table during the progress of the meal. lie was remonstrated with by a gentleman In authority, to whom he made use of remarks which were offensive and un- called for. It was on a Sunday evening, and in guid Scotland; yet, the committee met and suspended Hellings. The following is not very complimentary to Swansea, and certainly not to Bancroft, but it is true. Before the match the Scotch officials instructed their players to this effect: "Bottle up the Welsh backs and. rush on with the ball at your toes. You needn't be afraid of Ban- croft. He'll be sure to get out of your way." Some people think (writes my correspondent) that I am too severe on the Neath forwards. But jast listen to what D. H. Davies says:- "I am aick of the Neath forwards. Last Satur- day I played harder than I have in any match. Yet W were hopelessly beaten. Why? Because only four of us were working." Round the fire the Ne8lth committee sat. Selecting a team was the game they were at; They talked of politics, the war, and rats. And suggested a big importation of cats. Time passed, and four fell fast asleep, While the others talked with wisdom deep. Suddenly two remembered the object of meet- ing, Put the names in a hat-and on Saturday had a beating. The Swansea team does not appear to supply very conspicuous memoirs to the interjutiojial front rank. Bob Thomas had to retire, and Hopkin Davies seems to be about to take his departure. The funny thing is why the inter- national committee fight shy of Serines, the best forward in the Swansea pack.. They say Scrines is only good in the open; but just such men were wanted in Scotland. He would have made a great difference to the Welsh pack in the kind of game played. Charlie Powell did not come off on Wednes- day in the county match. The only thing that came off was the Cardiff mud-at the baths. This par. came from Neath. Great is the cry for "blood" at. Neath. They want the committee's blood, and they may have it unless that body secures "new blood." Willie Arnold, the Neath three-quarter, deserves better company. "Rats, and How to Exterminto Them," is the subject for debate at Monday's meeting of the Neath Committee. If they have time a team will be selected. But that is hardly necessary, for the one that played ten years ago will do. Trew shares with Nicholls (writes our Swan- sea correspondent) the honour of being adjudged the best three-quarter on the Welsh side in the Scotch match. Trew is mentioned as best at least as often as Nicholls, and by such papers, too, as the "Daily Telegraph" and "Standard." Trew is a midget—but, by Jove! he's a good 'un. Generally speaking, the Pontypridd team gives a good account of itself until about the end of the year in each season. This season, however, they continue to give a good account of themselves, and if they can be kept toge- ther they'll make it warm for some teams who are in for the league cup. The more one sees of Rhondda league matches (says my correspondent) the more one becomes convinced that the Glamorgan League contests do just as much to deteriorate football as they do to enhance it. This was further evidenced at the match between L wynypia and Pontypridd on Saturday, when, in the second half of the game, a num- ber of the players made no effort at hiding their jlJtntioIJ or going for the man and not the ball. There were quite as many Pontypridd spectators on the Llwynypia field last Satur- day as there were Llwynypia spectators. And didn't they ehout! 'Twas ever thus; when the team is a bit successful the supporters fellow up by hundreds; when they lose a. few matches the supporters decrease in the same ratio. A correspondent, signing himself "Cymro," suggests the following Welsh team to play against IrelandBack, Winfield; three-quar- ter backs, Nicholls, Jones, Trew, and Llewellyn; half-backs, Lloyd and Nepd": for- wards. Bryce, Millar, Blake, Hodges, Scrines, Alexander, Beere, and Joseph. Now, that Phillips, of Newport, is on the injured list for the rest of the season, there will be a hard fight for the vacant place at half. Will Johnny Jones be selected again, or will Needs step into the breach? Mat-iera would be best settled by giving Charlie Poviell his cap. 'The clever Neath man thoroughly deserves dis- tinction. If newspaper reports he true, a.nd Hellinjs's football career is finished, then all who admired the sturdy play of the rough and ready Rhonddaite must feel sorry, after all paid and done, that it should have come to such an inglorious end. Hellings, like the rest of us, has his faults, but the least of them all is that he does not say what he means. And there is usually a lot of emphasis behind what he says. vThe accident to Phillips, the hard-woi-king Newport half in the first ten minutes of the game against Scotland, is an effective set-off against the much vaunted superiority of the Scottish halves. A lame horse is never expected to win a race. "Good old Llwyni," whose voice is very often heard on the Llwynypia field, was very quiet last Saturday. The fatee went against him. So bad had the feeling gone between some of the players at Llwynypia last Saturday that before he final whistle blew Rowley Thomas, the Pontypridd captain, received a nasty kick on the back, which laid him hors de combat, and he was obliged to be carried off the field. As the referee explained after the match, it was the most dastardly thing he had seen on a football-field for many a day, and he would certainly report the matter to the Welsh Union. After last Saturday's match between Ponty- pridd and Llwynpia, Mr. J. E. Webb, the referee, admitted to one of our representatives that he had made a mistake in not awarding Shamse Moore the disputed try about five minutes before the final whistle. "But it was like this," he added, "Moore held the ball in front, »and made a peculiar scoop backwards, but MV -whistle was gone before the ball reached the other man. and I would not alter my mintl after that. I feel sorry, but these mistakes will happen. The Wharton Rugby Football Club (Cardiff) are losing the services of their brilliant right wing three-quarter, W. D. Frar.er. "Donald," as he is popularly known, is a sprinter of no mean repute, and has won many valuable prires at athletic meetings in Cardiff and the surrounding districts during the past seven years. He leaves Cardiff during next week for Abergavenny, and will, no doubt, don the jersey for one of the organisations of that town. Below is the "Glamorgan Times" League table up to and including Saturday, February 9:- P. W. D. L. Pts. Mountain Ash Res 11 8 3 0 19 Merthyr Alex 10 7 1 2 15 Yetrad Stars 10 5 3 2 13 Troedyrliiw 12 5 3 4 13 Aberaman St. Mary 8 6 1 1 13 Belle Vue 10 3 0 7 6 Ynyshir 8 3 0 5 6 Treorky Reserves 7 2 0 5 6 Llwynypia Seconds 7 1 1 5 3 Pontypridd Reserves 8 0 0 8 0 The growing popularity of the "Soccer" game is viewed with some apprehension by the Rugby authorities in Cardiff. The loan of the Cardiff Arms Park has (writes a correspondent) been refused for an international "Soccer" match this year, notwithstanding that 10,000 people witnessed the game between England and Wales last year, when Meredith, the Welsh right wing, played such a great game. It is a striking fact that all school teams in Cardiff without exception, play, with the round ball and not the oval.

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Females of all ages should never be without a box, as they at once remove all irregularities, and are in no way injurious, which is the case with many advertised pills. In boxes. ls. lid. and 2a. 9d. Sent Pout Fpce under cover Id. extra, direct by the proprietor, C. D. Horton. M.P.S. (from the Birmingham and General Lying-in Hospital. 68, Aston-road North, Birmingham. Agents:- Cardiff: R. Mumford. Chemist, &c., Meteor- street, Splotlands. Merthyr: Willis. Chemist. Georgetown. Swansea Lloyd, Chemist, Oxford- street. Newport: Young. Chemist, High-street. Canaot be had from other Chemists. N.B.— Nonenuine unless bearing "G. D. Horton" in red across each label. Letters answered free. etc Printed by the Proprietors, Western Mail Limited, and published by them at their offices, St. Mary-street Cardiff; at their offices. Castle Bailey-street, Swansea; at the shop of Mr. Wesley Williams. Bridgend-all in the Conuty of Glamorgan; at the Wes. tern Mail" Office. Newport; at the shop of Mr. J. P. 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