Penarth Chronicle and District Advertiser

—— Weekly Notes by Quirkquequip. The Editor does not hold himself responsible for the opinions expressed in these notes. The following are some of this week's police court solecisms, etc. which actually rippled the magist.rial jcountenaijce into risibility. A P.C. :— I didn't see 'em fighting;, but 1 saw 'em gweariog. o e « Annie Penharwood was sitting1 peacefully in the bouse when the windows came in." o o 0 Ellen Collins, or as she called lie; self, Nellie, said I ghe was stiuek to the ground senseless with such force that the concussion stopped her watch at 8.15 p-m. o o 0 Auother witness (female) said her hair-pins Nvere bent by the blow, as well as her head. 0 0 0 Margaret Hawtrey iiaid that in the Height uf her temper she didn't know whether she knocked down her assailant or not. 0 0 (I < Said Elizabeth A Collins, She poked me np against the window. This must have been synchronal with the other witness's seeing the windows come in. o 0 « There have been of late lare neighbourly amenities in James Street, for the pretty quarrel waged there this last 12 month's culminated at the Police Court this week in the hearing of summonses, and a con- fusion of counter-summonses. It was alleged that in this perennial brawl one had her face and bosom scratched, another, her hair pulled out by Imndfuls— an ocular demonstration of this being1 given to the JJench by the woman herself, who took down her locks And exhibited the bald s,ots-wliilst another Juas knocked down, her assailant kneeling on her •whilst yet another seemed to glory in standing the whole afteraoon at another neighbour's door, inviting a pugilistic encounter. Added to this was language swunblushingly repeated at the Court which would 1 isve excited the jealousy of any Billingsgate Qshmar- C- ket woman, or the notorious Biddy Moriarty whom Daniel O'Connel, for a friendly bet, fairly floored by burling at her euclid's phraseology. The language mnst indeed have been lurid for a constable to see it. 0 0 0 At each recurring Bank Holiday there is further cause for congratulation that the congestion on the Esplanade has now no element of danger or at least only a minimum, since the present Council forbade asinine traffic thereon, and regulated the vehicular There is nevertheless one eyesore, and that is the cruel treatment of the donkeys which are raced up and down tha dangerous declivity of the lower portion of Beach I Road. These patient creatures are unmercifully whack- ed, the drivers, with scarcely one exception, seeming to take a-fiendish delight in belabouring poor Neddy's bind quarters. The bludgeons used for this purpose are indicative of the utter callousness of the boys, and only a fine would appear to be the cure for this barbarity. Reason upon kindness to animals they are not amen- able to, as according to a recent aiticle in the Spectator boys are notoriously unfeeling to each other and dumb creatures, but lose, fortunately, this savage trait ayn- ehronal with their reaching manhood. o 0 a Apropos of the ass, I have seen only one—and that a white one at Weston—that bad not a clearly defined cross on it 8 back- The characteristic mark is noted even among the drivers, one Penarth boy ascribing it to me as showing that it was a Jerusalem nioke.' Of course the cross on the donkey's beck is popul;irlyl attributed to the honour conferred on the beast by our Lord and Saviour, who rode on an ass to Jeru- salem in "his tilumphant entry" into that city on Palm uDrla). A writer in Blackmore wittily adds that the mark prior to tbatoccasion was premonitory. 0 0 0 Donkey, was formerly dunkey. Chaucer in iiit 'Canterbury Tales" speaks of the "Dun is in the mire." The k ffix ley is seen in monkey, jockey. Donkey is therefore the little dun or tawny animal— the little dunning animal, in allusion to its dinning bray. J Is marriage a failure ? Apparently it is not, for the Dun mow flitch was awarded 3 couples last Monday. A large conconrse of pedptfe assembled on that day to witness the qnaint trials of the claimants. Sergt. Major Baker (a Yeoman of the guard) and his wife. were the 1st successful couple. Then came Mr aJid Mr Johnson, of Market Harboro', who were also awarded a flitch, and after them, Mr and Mrs Cough, of Norwich, were successful. After the trials the couples took the oath—and the bacon. This custom was founded by Juda, a. noble lady in 1,11] and restored by Robert de Fitzwalrer in 3 244 which was, that "any person from any part of England going to Duumow, in Essex, and humbly kneeling on two fttoues at the church door, may claim a gammos of Bacon, if he can swear that.for twelve months and a day be has never had a household brawl or wished himself unmarried." 0 0 0 What has Wales done for the Principality to be excluded. Note, that any person from any part of. England only. e • o Do we live in an age of Euphemisms ? We are abjured )0 call a spade a spade, and I can well remember hell fire and damnation sermons even im. my time. The Puritans didn't mince matters in tbis, and in contradistinction it was left for the Royalists to, break the Euphemistic record. In the reign of Charles II., a worthy divine of Whitehall thus concluded his sermon If you font live up to the precepts of the Gospel.. you mu.st expect to receive your reward in a certain place which 'tia not good manners to mention here. Pope himself in his Moral Essays," tells us this worthy divine was a, dean.- u To rest the cushion, and soft deans invite Who never mentioned 'hell' to ears polite." Tbe uewiy created Vicar of All Saints, has initiated, a series of "call a spade, a spade" sermons, and- hits out pretty straight, eschewing euphemisms with, a vengencei