Papurau Newydd Cymru

Chwiliwch 15 miliwn o erthyglau papurau newydd Cymru

Cuddio Rhestr Erthyglau

15 erthygl ar y dudalen hon

Our Jokes Competaitlioq. —.

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Rhannu

Our Jokes Competaitlioq. — In order to give additional interest. to these columns small prizes will be given weekly to the senders of the most humorous paragraphs of not less than six and not more than thirty lines. They may be either original or selected, and any number of paragraphs may be sent in the same envelope, endorsed "Jokes," but each must be on a separate sheet of paper, bearing name and address of Competitor The prize has been awarded to T. Thomas, 2, Man- street, Treharris, for "Pat, the Priest, and the Pig." PAT, THE PRIEST, AND THE PIG. A widow of the name of Mrs Malawney, one time had lost a pig, and they blamed Pat for the theft. The Popish priest came to Pat, and asked him, "Pat, did you steal the widow's pig?" "I did, your honour, na use deny it," said the poor Irishman. "What did you do with it?" said the priest. "Eat it, your honour," sai- Pat. "Oh, Pat. how could you eat it without think- ing of the day that all evil will come to light? What will you say for yourself, when you and the pig, and Mrs Malawney, standing in the face of each other?" "What!" said Pat, with agitation, "have you said that the pig will be there Yes, t» be sure," said the priest. "Bedad, to your honour, I know what I shall say to the widow, 'Mrs Malawney, taKe your pig.' "-T.T., Treharris. CHANGE HERE FOR LONDON. A clerk of a church felt so unwell that be could not lead the singing. He thought of two or three persons who were qualified for this office, and asked a railway porter to lead the singing. The porter consented. On the Sunday morning he took his place, but, having a lot of late work on Saturday night, he soon fell asleep. The parson entered the pulpit and gave out the first hymn. The person next to the porter, see- ing that he was asleep, awoke him. The porter stood up, rubbed his eyes, stared around, and shouted: "Change here for London! T.E., Pontypridd. HOW PAT TRIED TO GET HIS TICKET. Lonsr time ago a native of Ireland, landing in Greenock, wanted to take the train to Glasgow. Never having been in a railway station before, he did not know how to get his ticket. Seeing a lady, however, going in, Pat thought he would fellow her, and he would soon know how to get aboard. The lady going to the ticket box and placing down the money said, "Maryhill, single." Her ticket was duly handed to her, and she walked off. Pat, thinking it was all right, put down his money and shouted, "Patrick Murphy, married!R. M., Penygraig. NOT TO BE SAT UPON. An Irishman happened to be travelling in the same carriage with two very learned-looking lawyers—one on each side of him-when one of the lawyers, who was somewhat displeased with the uncouth manner of the Irishman, thought that by the influence of some cymical remark he mitrht be made more tolerable. Accordingly, one of the lawyers, tapping Pat on the shoulders, remarked, "Are you an ass or a mule?" "Neither, your honour," replied Pat, "but I'm between one of each.D.H., Birmingham. LUCKY FOR DARBY. In a village it tho North of Ireland lived two old men, Darby and Pat, each in his own way rather eccentric, and always ready with his an- swers. The former was one day taking his usual walk when he met his friend Pat, and asked, "What toime moight it be now?" Pat, having a short stick in his hand, gave Darby a sharp crack over the head with it, and said, u's just sfrruck wun." Darby, looking up a little surprised, but always ready, said, "Troth, and it's a lucky job I wasn't here an hour since."—D.IJ., Birmingham. NEGRO WIT. There is a tradition that one of the old es- quires in Maiden, Massachusetts, had a slave who had been in the family until he was about 70 years of age. Perceiving that there was not much work left in the old man, the esquire took him one day and made him a somewhat pompous address to the following effect: "You have been a faithful servant to me. and my father before me. I have long been thinking what I should do to reward you for your services. I give you your freedom. You are your own master; you are your own man." Upon this the old negro shook his head, and with a sly clanee, showing that he saw through his master's intentions, quickly replied, "No, no, massa, you eat de meat and now you must have de bone."—E.W., -rad Rhondda. PUT A CORK IN. An Irishman went into a druggist's shop the other day and asked for a small bottle. When he had got it. he asked how much it would be. "It will be twopence, but if you have some- thins; put in it you can have it for nothing." "Faith, yer honour, put a cork in," replied the Irishman.—F.T., Narberth.

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