Barry Herald

LITERARY EXTRACTS. THE WRONG TIME.—Deception is a dangerous I'8t source, even when resorted so with what seem to bt innocsnt intentions. JSirW. H. Preece.Jonthe occa- sion of the Chamber of dommerce banqnet at South- ampton in the spring of last year, told an amusing story of how he unwittingly deceived an audience in that town. It was in Southampton, he said, that be made practically his first public appearance. He did not mind confessing that his lecture was a failure. It was delivered in the year 1856, shortly after tha first cables were laid to the Continent; The lecturer was very anxious that his friends in Southampton should observe the accurate working of thesubmarirw able; so a connection was made with London, and in London the secretary of the telegraph company undertook to see that the proper connections were carried through from Southampton to the Conti- nent. Mr. Preece then began talking to his audience about the difference of time in different places, and explained that "it was due to the difference in longitude. Before the lecture was finished he telegraphed to the Hague. to Hanover, Berlin, Dresden, and Vienna. When he got to Vienna, a gentleman in the audience, having, in his mind the information already given about differ- ences of time, said, Perhaps the lecturer will ask what time it is in Vienna ?" That question was the lecturer's undoing. It happened to be just nine o'clock in Southampton. He asked the question, and the answer came back 8.20. That is a lie said the gentleman. The lecturer is an imposted" Sor- rowfully the lecturer was obliged to admit that the answer was not correct. He was very nervous and much vexed. It was clearly a mistake, for, as Vienna is east of Southampton, it would, of coarse, be later at Vienna than Southampton. Mi. Preece asked London what was the matter, and then learned that he was in very truth an innocent imposter, that a that a piece of deception had been practised, with the best of intentions, but not with the best of results. His friend, the secretary, told him that the cable to the Continent, was broken, and that, ratherthan dis- appoint the audience, he had personated the different places. He remembered that the difference between Southampton and Vienna was 40 minutes, but, in- stead of putting the 40 mmutee on, be took them off. Mr. Preece said he had leotwred many times since, but he had never repeated that experience. A CORPS OF INVALIDS.—The41-st (Welsh Regiment) which in modern times has done doughty deeds in various parts of the world, was originally a corps of invalids. Early in the last century it was considered desirable that soldiers disabled by wounds or by old old age for an active campaign should be formed into regiments for garrison duty, and the 41st was com- posed of such veteran*. They garrisoned in turn Portsmouth, Plymouth, Jersey, and Bristol, and were annually inspected. It must have been a rather pathetic function, for many of the old warriors were very infirm, and in 1767, for instance, we find that the major was aged 82, a lieutenant was 80, eight of the ensigns ranged from 60 to 79, and two were re- ported as stone-blind," They were not a very for- midable body, as :was shown when some of a regi- ment of Highlanders^ mutinied at Portsmouth, and the Invalids were ordered to quell the disturbance, for when a Highlander shot one of the oldmeç dead the rest hobbled away, while the officer in charge having a wooden leg, was unable to escape,; and WM, therefore, captured by the mutineers. A little over a century ago, however, the regiment was reorganised on an active footing, and soon had an -opportunity for distinguishing itself in the operations; against the French in Che West Indies. Afterwards came the war with 'the United States, in which it figured prominently, especially at Queenstown Heights, in 1812. The regiment did not return lo Europe till Waterloo had been won, but was im tirne to ^oin i»he foffe-Which garrrsoiled' Pftris afterwards. In 1824 it served in the Burmese War, in which it fought a succession of sharp engagements. Jfext it had some tough work in t;he Afghan campaign of 1842 and in the Crimean War took partin the battle olifhe Alma, and i n most of the subsequentengagements. It was the 41-st which bore the brunt of the disastrous attack on the Redan, in which a large number of lives were sacrificed in attempting the impossible. In later years the regiment has served in India, Egypt, and Africa, and has always had a high reputation. —Morning Post. VVITAT A BATTLE IS LIKE UNDER MODERN CONDI- TIONS.—Any man who has been in a modern fight, where men are being knocked over all around, and isays he likes it, is (writes a war correspondent in the Daily News) a liar. In former days it must have been.different. The enemy could be seen, the,smoke could be-seen, and rifle had to be reloaded after every •shot. A.t 1000 yards you were in comparative safety. The infantry, after receiving one volley, could charge, knowing that until the enemy had loaded again each man was practically safe. Nowadays that is all changed. Nothing is seen, no man, no smoke. The -only thing seen is the dust thrown up by the bullets; Like a irain -storm.-on the-surface.of the lake, the ar- tillery ithrowing shells, and the shells bursting. In contrast to this is the noise, which is infernal; with occasional lulls it eounds as if a million kettle- drums were being played—»a constant tra-ra-ra->ra, with the boom, boom, of the big guns and the harsher sound of the pumping of the Maxims. HoUthkiss, Maxim-Nordenfeldts, and machine gum in general. The discord is appalling, as every gun has a different sound* and each shell going through the air hums or whistles according to its breed. After a time you can tell what is coming, ur, if it is one of your own, what is going. The most terrifying ,of the enemy's guns is a sort of Hotcbkiss, which liresabout five rounds a time and throws a lib. shell which bursts, You are safe nowhere, as a bullet, fired at an .object at 800yd., which misses, hits and kills at 2000 or 5000. It practically means with these rifles tthat a "bullet is never spent until it hits something and remains there. When a bullet strikes you hear nothing; it goes right through a man and probably travels .on another 2000yd. You hear a grunt or a gurgle, Mid the man collapses and doubles up; sometimes if hit in the arm or leg he spins round and falls, and ,probably gets up again, as it is only the shock which knocks ihim down, and he hardly feels it. The worst thing is a bullet wound in stomach below the oavel, which is mortal. The pain is ex- cruciating, and they bowl like a shot hare; it sounds like a child screaming, and is horrible. POLICEMEN IN PETTICOATS.—Among the more pro- gressive nations of the world, there are now few fields of work which have not been entered more or less by women, but is most countries the police force is still made up by men alone, in certain renlpte parts of Russia, however, women have frequently acted as the servaots of criminal law, and theic .suc- cess in the performance of their duties is illustrated by an instance that would seem LDoredlblewere It hot related on the best of authority. The governor of the Russian province of Archangel gives this account •of feminine capacity M be himself witnessed It: One curious little episode greatly amused us, al- though we were careful at the time to maintain a be- coming gravity. A peasant was trndging along the road, and close behind, with a metal badge of office her breast, walked a feeble-looking woman. To. meet anything human in the depths, of these distant forests was in itself a surprise. 'We asked who; whither, and why. It turned out that the old woman, in performance of her duty as village constable, was conducting this greats strong convict' peasant to the at Mezfen. She had to at the nearest police station which was 160 miles away..There she was, plodding fearlessly along with her prisoner over well- nigh impossible tracks of deserted forests and moun- tains. In remote districts of Archangel, where fiila, men are all engaged the summer long in distant avo- cations, it is impossible to confine the-village officiate to their posts, except perhaps the mayor of the parish, who is paid for his services. It has thus, from time immemorial, been the custom for the women of the village to act for their absent husbands or brothers. It is bare justice to add that they perform theurduties conscientiously and fell. Learning that I was the governor, our police constable begged me to release her from the duty of escorting her prisoner farther. As you know,Ue added, "he can just as well I find his way by himself." She had even asked him to take the warrant and report himself to the proper authorities; but he would not consent, saying that a Erisoner was not supposed to go by himself, but must B accompanied by a constable. Finding that the charge against the prisoner was not serious, I gave the warrant to him and bade him continue his march to Mezen alone, and duly deliver himself to the police authorities there, without dawdling on the road. Yes, sir," he replied, I'll hurry on as quick as ever I can. It won't suit me to loiter. I humbly thank you. But how could a man move along at aU with a woman as a conductor?" Subsequently I learned at Mezen that he did indeed tramp the whole distance alone, and at once reported himself at the police station, duly delivering his warrant of arrest. And where's the prisoner ?" he was asked. I myself am he," was the reply; and then he related to the amazed officer how he had met me on the road. MR. DAVITT'S JOKE,—Mr. Michael Davitt, who has recently retired from Parliamentary lfe, is the only man who has sat in any of the Queen's Parliaments after serving 20 years in prison. Mr. Davitt is fond of telling his friends of an incident which occurred many years ago at a meeting of the United Irish League, where he was one of the speakers. He sat down by an old lady, who, not knowing him, asked him to point out Mr. Davitt. Being in a mischiev- ous mood, Yr. Davitt pointed to one of his co). leagues. sayi ng, Th.er#v he i^fcbat ,n»aa yonder; uglier than myself." and the aid lady, wishing to be polite to Mr. Davitt, flkSBrved. Ah, sure, sir. iDQDOssible THE USE OF THE BAYONET IN THE BRITISH ARMY.— The bayonet, which inspires such terror in the ranks of the Boers, was not employed in the British Army until the reign of Charles II., when it was describqd in a Royal Warrant as "a bayonet or great knife." For some time it was not brought into requisition until after all the ammunition had been expended, and then it was screwed into the barrel of the musket, completely ciusing up the muzzle. At the battle of Ramilies, however, some 30 years later, the men of the 25th Regiment of Foot, now the Royal Borderers, noticed that an opposing regiment charged immediately they had delivered their fire, and without halting to screw on their bayonets. After the engagement the French fire-locks which had been captured were examined, and the improve- ment pointed out to the English armourers, who were instructed to fit the muskets of the English army in the same way. =" PRINCESS."—" Princess was a lovable creature, a handsome Persian cat, who was so jealous when her own ladies praised other cats that she jumped off Miss H.'s lap in a huff the moment that lady said: "You have no idea, mother, what a magnificent cat Mrs. Taylor has. It is immensely big, and has one of the most splendid tails I ever saw." But she was not selfish. The time came when Mrs., H. was ill, arid lost her appetite. One thing after another was tried —soup, jelly, game—all of no use. The invalid declared sheoould touch none of them, and poor Miss. H. felt in despair. One morning, as she was sitting by her mother's bedside, and trying to coax her to eat something, the door, which was slightly aiar, was pushed open, and Princess" ran in quite gaily. She jumped on the bed, and, with an important air, laid down on her mistress's coverlet a bird she had caught and brought her.-Andrew Lang's Red Book o f Animal Stories, j GENERAL BULLER'SLITERARY TASTER—Mr. Edmund Gosse, in an article on Sir Redvers Buller in the North American Review, makes reference to the General's literary tastes. He has never, we are told, had the leisure for any very doe or consecutive reading, but has the knack of tearing the heart out of anything that he does read in an amazing shortspace of time. He is certainly a good instinctive judge of literature, and if he has not had opportunity te cultivate his judgment with a very wide selection, where his mind does alight is almost always on the purest and richest writers. For poetry he has, perhaps, no particular aptitude. When he was a boy he must have learned Scott's verse-romances by heart, for he retains pages of them still. But ra prose Sir Redvers's tastes are definite. Two English classics travel about with him in miniature editions; he never starts on a oompaign without Bacon's 'Essays' and the 'Essays of Among modern authors Sir Redvers has three prime favour- lites-Ruskin, ^Matthew Arnold, and George Mere- dith. The only trace of anything like bibliomania to be met with in his library is the care with which he has brought together a large collection of the early editions of Ruskin. Sir Redvers has the re- putation of being a glutton for work in and out of season. But this legend he repels, and to people who reproach him with it he is in the habit of saying, "I do not slave half as much at my work as you do at your play." "With this in- tense concentration on his business, yet he is delight- fully lazy. 'Oh he said only the other day, I can loat on occasion, with the best Of you.' It is some- times noticed that after a spell of exceptionally heavy responsibility Sir Redvers Buller is entirely lazy for a little while sitting gazing into the fire in winter or lying on the grass in summer. But these intervals never last long. He has lately become a fisherman, and after his close work at the War Office a year or two ago, he gave himself up keenly to salmon fishing in Sutherlandshire, and talks of returning to it season by season." The physical endurance of Str Redvers is ,proyerbiaJ, and at 61 he has both in body and mind all the elasticity of youth. Once, at a dmner party, says Mr. Gosse in the North American Review, a discussion arose as to the relative merits of the Biblical military heroes and of modern general.. Someone who touk the antique side, quoted Joshua as an instance of a soldier the like of whom could not be matched in modern history. Mr. Gladstone), in his vehement way, took this up at once. Joshua^! Jcshua he exclaimed. Why, Joshua couldn't hold a candle to Redvers Buller as a leader of men This, Mr. Gosse remarks, was the more valuable a tribute, in that Sir Redvers was never a supporter or much of an admirer of Mr.'Gladstone. But this is the im- pression the General makes with his imperturbable and cheery force. How SINGEKS PRESERVE THEIR VOICES.—Madame Adelina Yatti, who has so generously volunteered to sing at Covent, Garden Theatre, on February 22 for our soldiers, has led a life into which self-denial, for the sake of her voice, has ever insistently entered. She once told me that, as a young girl, she never had any of the pleasures which fell to others. Parties, dancing, and fun of every kind were denied her. Her father, Siguor Patti, and her brother-in-law, Mons. Strakosch, who was also her impresario," were in qonstant fear that she should fatigue her voice. One can imagine how bright and lovely a child Patti was, how eager her delight in innocent pleasure bad to be foregone. As to girlish flirtations,such as our English and American maidens indulge in so happily, until she married the Marquis de Caui: at four-and-twenty the little diva had been kept almost like a nun. at home, and knew absolutely nothing of the world. Although allowed to participate in what. "Max" has called the "Pleasures of the Wardrobe," the Sleaeures of the table were not for her. For months 1 have known her stick to the most severe regimen, partaking only of plainly-cooked meat and toast, so that the slightest indigestion -should not impair the clearness of her voice. On ordinaa-y days, when Pattji has to sing in opera at night, she dines off beef and potatoes and baked apples at about 3.30 p.m., for beef is said to give force, and ;applessmoothness, to the .voice. After dinner, the" prima donna" fasts until she sings., only taking, between the acts of an opera,homoeopathic doses of phosphorusand capsicum, both of which ai\j beneficial to the throat. If very tired* a cup of bouillon is prepared for. her. Patti never speaks a word on the days when she has to sing. Nor does Madame Albani, who otherwise takes- less care of her voice that the" diva," and only fears in- digestible food, salmon, nute.amd such like. Both prima donne" declare they never even look at tea, which hardens the vocal chords. Between the parts of a concert or opera Albani drinks a glass of claret. She feelieves implicitly in the virtues of a cold bath, Melba ie the only singer I know who is a sceptic with regard to nursing the voice. "I can eat any' thing, talk all day, and my voice is never affected," she will say. But then, Melba* voice and her whole physique are singularly strong, and her nerves are of the steadiest. In temperament Miss Clara Butt resembles Patti. She has the same kind, impulsive manner, merry laugh, and sympathy with all and sundry," as our American friends say. But she does not, much as she loves her art, take care of her voice as sedulously as the diva." Jean de Reszke, whose throat is not strong, and who suffers from the changeable English climate, aud complains of the heat of our theatres behind the scenes, is very chary of his fine tenor notes. He scarcely ever goes Into society nowadays, restricts hiuiself as to diet and pins his faith to bicycling. Nothing, he firmly believes, is so beneficial to the vocal chords as to take, a quiet morning spin, jpiano, piano," in fresh country iir, When you have to fulfil an engagement in the Evening. Mr. Sims "ReeVes, throughout -his whole professional career, was sedulous in nursing his voice., Before singing he always sucked a lozenge, in which; he much believed it was home-made "—of glyce- rine, lemon juice, and gum arable. Jenny Lind avoided fatigue of all kinds, andwhehe^er she had to Sing she partook at intervala during the day of a soup, prepared with chicken broth, cream, and barley, which was supposed to be softening to the voice.— M.A.P. IN these days, when the accounts of battles ART scanned throughout this country, while the fallen are still being gathered from the field of battle, when treat every incident as if it were an event, the reading of history—history that gives the proper proportion of parts to the whole—becomes almost a duty. We learn the wiadom of keeping" the end steadily before us, and the folly of fussing about untoward happen- ings that are but steps towards the attainment of the ultimate object .— -Illustrated London News. O'CONNELL'S COURAGE. — Daniel O'Connell, the famous Irish agitator and orator, had a contempt for physical danger. On a certain occasion, as his ocly surviving son has recently narrated in Temple Bar, a meeting had been convened, and a large crowd assembled in a room on the first floor of a building in a small city in Ireland. O'Connell was about to address the people when a gentleman, pale with fear, made his way to the platform, and hoarsely whis- pered Liberator, the floor is giving way The 1 beams that shore it up are cracking, and we shall all ) fall through in a few minutes!" "Keep silent," said O'Connell; then, raising his voice, he addressed the assembly: I find that the room is too small to con- tain the number who desire to come in, so we must leave it and hold the meeting outside the building.' At this a few rose and went out, but the majority re- tained their seats. O'Connell said I will tell you the truth; you are Irishmen, therefore brave men. The floor is giving way and we must leave this room at once. If there is a panic and a rush to the door, we shall all be precipitated into the room below, but! if you obey orders we shall be saved. Let the twelve men nearest the door go quietly out, then the next twelve, and so on till all have gone. I shall be the last to leave." His instructions were obeyed to the letter, and he waited, patient and calm, till all bad gone out in safety. Then he walked quietly across the sundering, cracking ioor,rean the door justl as the shattered beams gave way. And thus, by the, force of his strong will, a terrible accident was averted.

THE dictionary is not as big as the Pest Office, but I it contains more letters to the square inch.

ART AND LITERATURE. AMERICAN picture buyers do not confine their lavish purchases to the masterpieces of English or Conti- nental art. There are native-born painters who can command very respectable prices. Recently the picture by George Innesa, "Georgia Pines, After- noon, 1886," was sold by auction atChickering Hall, New York, for 59oOdol. When the auctioneer put the canvaa it was greeted with applause. UNDER the title of "The Man who Leads in Ratal," General Buller'e life of heroism is dealt with in a special article—accompanied with a portrait— which appears in the current number of Cassell's Saturday Journal. THERE is much wisdom (remarks the Globe) in the decision of the Italian Government to take step to acquire the famous collection in the Borghese Palace. Although a certain proportion of the pic- tures in this gallery may possibly be of questionable authenticity there are among them many workj that are justly celebrated as specially important examples of some of the greatest Italian masters. The two Titians, Sacred and Profane Love," and Cupid Equipped by Venus," Raphael's "Entombment," Domenichino's Cumean Sibyl," and Sodoma's Holy Family are all paintings of a world-wide reputation; and there are many others of scarcely lees note. 80 long as they remain the property of a private family there is always a certain amount of risk that, despite the restrictions laid upon the exportation of works of art, they may be conveyed out of the country, aad the Government is certainly exercising sound discretion in securing them for the nation. MR. AIJTBBD STEVENS has held so long a position of unquestioned leadership amongst the ablest painters of the modern French school that the exhibition of his work which has just been organised at the Ecole des Beaux Arts must be regarded as an artistic eveat of much moment. A pupil of Ingres, he applied the teaching of that master to the repre- sentation of subjects chosen from contemporary life, and his work has always been distinguished by vivid insight into the character and habits of the people by whom he has been surrounded. He is a great draughtsman and a fine painter, and in his pictures these technical merits have always been most evi- dent. This exhibition has been organised by a group of his admirers as a tribute to his genius. MR. WILLIAM EwART LOCKIIART, member of the Royal Scottish Academy since 1878, died in London the other day in his 54th year. He was born in Dumfriesshire, and studied art under the Robert Scott Lauder—showing himself such a precocious student that he began to exhibit at the R.S.A. when only 14. In later years Mr. Lockhart went to Spain, chiefly for reasons of health. For more than 80 years his pictures were familiar at the exhibitions of the Royal Scottish Academy, and many of them have been very popular. His large picture of the Jubilee ceremony in. Westminster Abbey, painted by com- mand of the Queen, occupied the artist for nearly three years. It contained some hundreds of por- traits. IN "Prayers on the Battlefield," which forms the subject of a special article in the March Quiver, the Rev. E. J. Hardy will relate a number of historical and present-day incidents and anecdotes bearing on this topic. The same part, will also include a special article on 'Our Missionaries and the Boer War," w th a missionary map of South Africa. TUB Dudley Gallery Art Society in its present ex- f hibition, in London, of water-colour drawings touches (the Globe considers) a somewhat higher level than usnal. Although a grod deal of commonplace work is included in the collection of more than 300 works, there is a ver. fair proportion of interesting productions that are worthy of considerable praise. Perhaps the show would have gained in artistic value by being a little less expansive, and by being restricted w thin more moderate limits the good things would have been more effective with a better, setting, and the labour of searching through a crowd of slight and unimpressive at- tempts in search of real achievements would have been diminishe'l. society is not an exclusive one, and the ob'igat on to find room for all kinds of work, good, bad. and indifferent, is imposed upon it by the largeness of its list of members. Among the most noteworthy of the drawings in the gallery are Jthe prettily cht sen subject, At Onchy, Lake Geneva," by Mr. Albert Stevens; a clever blotty landscape. Near Christchurch, Hants," by Mr. Reginald Jones, and the same artist's delicate grey study, Poole Harboor Miss M. Bernard's Mill Plowhainel, Brittany," and "On the Beauheu River, Hants Mias Rose Barton's subtle little pote, On the Thames." Mr. R. Wane's On the Manx Coast," Mr. L. C. Pocock's The River Rea, Shropshire," Mr. Percy Dixon's Loch Torridon," and Mr. David Green's "The Lonely Shore." Comparatively few figure-subjects are included; of what there are the beet are contributed by Mr. Harrington Mann, whofee 4. Spring Flowers" especially is graceful and well drawn. MR. SUTTON PALMER'S water-colours, now on view in the galleries of the Fine Art Society in Londoh, are, like all his productions, pretty and attractive without being particularly robust. He calla the col- lection From Dawn till Dark," and bis way of illustrating this title is to present a series of land- scapes expressing various kinds of atmospheric effects at different times of the day. There is a good deal of inequality in his work, but at bis best he has a distinct power of putting down pleasantly facts that are worth learning from nature. Perhaps the draw- ings in which he does. himself fullest justice are those of Surrey subjects, great stretches of distance with glinting lights through masses of clouds. In such motives he is already delicate and tender, and gives a happy suggestion of asrfal subtleties. THERE is a topical flavour about the recently- issued section of the British Museum catalogue, "Liturgies, Parts I., II., and III." The subject covers nearly 4UO pages, the "Index" of 1200 entries occupying no Jess than 17. Simultaneously with the publication of the above we not the issue of the last part (IV.) of the section Periodical Pub- lications. London, M—Z." Cassell's Magazine for March will contain an illus- trated article by Mr. Fletcher Robinson on "The Connaught Rangers," one of the Irish regiments which has been winning fresh laurels with General Buller in Natal, and another by Mr. W. W. "Hutchings upon" Our Guns," giving a summary of the weight and capacity of the British Artillery now in use. An appreciation of Mr. W. S. Gilbert, by Mr. Malcolm Salaman, which is illustrated by photo- graphs specially taken at the dramatist's house will also appear in the number. MR. J. W. CLARK, University Registrary at Cam- bridge, has added another volume to his works on his own university. "Old Friends at Cambridge and Elsewhere," just published by Messrs. Macmiflan, is a collection of biographical sketches, in which figure men so famous and so dissimilar as Whewell, the dictatorial President of Trinity, and Thompson, Whewell's dignified successor; Thirlwall, the un- worldly bishop who, nevertheless, pushed tolerance to its extreme; Monekton Milnes (Lord Houghton) Palmer, the linguist; and Owen, the naturalist With these are others of less note to the general public, but notable and familiar figures in their own colleges and university, such as Henry Bradshaw, the great librarian. AN experiment* that is not wanting in audaoity, is being made by a French sculptor. M. Moreau- Vauthier has been commissioned to execute the statue that is to surmount the great gateway of the Paris Exhibition, and this statue is to be emblema- tical of the City of Paris. The sculptor has chosen to abandon the time-hoaoured draperies in which such a figure has hitherto been clothed, and to re- present a modern woman in modern garments. What will be the effect of such a departure from conven- tion must depend necessarily upon the taste with which the artist carries out his idea. There is no reason why a statue so treated should not be quite satisfactory aa a work of art, but any error of judgment would, probably make the result ridiculous. MR. GOSSE has some interesting remarks to make on the late Archbishop Benson in Literature. In the copious animadversions on the character and career of Archbishop Benson which the publication of his son's life of him have called forth, I have seen (he writes) no reference to his claim as a persistent and ambitious writer. This it very natural. The greater excludes the less, and the meritorious but imperfect author is pushed aside by the active politician and the predominant prelate. No general view of the Archbishop could afford, without loss of proportrion, to dwell long upon his authorship. Yet he was not only remarkable for quantity—he published nearly 60 separate works—but in quality be possessed a certain individual subsiauce, irregularly developed and uneasily produced, indeed, but individual, which I am inclined to think deserves special literary conr .ideration. That Archbishop Benson's efforts as an original writer were not widely recognised before his t death is hardly surprising when we consider that the manifestations of them were almost wholly posthu- mous. They are now to be studied in his Cyprian," i in his Letters," and in the very curious and imper- feet poems which his son has scattered through the I biography. When we first read the Cyprian t three years ago—that Cyprian which had been its authors life-work, and of which his friends had I heard so much and seen so little that they begpn to be sceptical about ita existence—we perceived with amazement how great and how sustained had been the effort to secure a personal style. And I remem- • bered, at once, a Curious remark which the Arch" bishop made to me on a certain occasion, in speaking of the worb of a literary dean celebrated for the t gorgeousness of his style: Rather than write like | that," he said, Singing down the book, I would e j press myself in mathematical formulaa." <

POST if you wish for Manly Vigor, send for the best, and most valuable work on ATROPHY and VARICOCELE, by M.D., Ch.M., with special chapters on the explanation of Vital Secrets, and the certain CURE OF Prostration. DEBILITY and DECAY. This work is Mie purest nide in ESSENTIAL MATTERS, and treats in an exhaustive manner the J subject of the various diseases which emanate from abuses of all kinds, as well as those which arise through no fault of the sufferer. A few of the ailments which the work treats of are Exhausted Vitality, Spermatorrhoea, Youthful Imprudence, Lost Manhood, Premature Decay, Despondency, Loss of Energy, Weakness, Varicocele, Dimness of Sight, Brain Fag, Nervous- ness, Blotches on the Skin, Loss of Memory, Melancholy, Noises in the Ears, Liver Complaints, Bladder and Kidney Complaints, and every form of disease peculiar to the Urinary Organs, It should be read by everyone, and will be found of inestimable value. Its compilation is the result of many years' experience in the treatment of these diseases, and the author is sure that it will be found a complete treatise on these distressing ailments. Write for a copy to-day, '1 and I will send one FREE OF CHARGE. Address:—"Surgeon," 7 Bristol Gardens, Brighton, Sussex, England. Name this pp.per.

FUN AND FANCY. FIRST INSURANCE AGENT: "I think we should I hold a national convention. There's one question I I should like to see thoroughly discussed." Second Insurance Agent: "What's that?" First Insurance I Agent: At what point, in (dealing with an obstre- perous customer, should moral suasion be abandoned I and force begin?" N A I ¡,S should be sold by auction. lbeygo well under the hammer. PISSAPPOINTMKNT first comes in life to the baby who has a horn given to him for a present and then tinds lie hasn'r, got wind enough to blow it. A.%iy (bride of a week): "0 Charley, I am so happy I fear our joy is too intense to < last." Charley: "Just my thoughts, exactly." Amy: What do you say if we try to restrain our delight ?" Charley: "How?" Amy: "By going to see the Inst new society comedy. That will keep us from being too jolly. fP ATJENT: Isn't it a little dangerous to administer I an:fathetics? Must be terrible to have one die in your chair after you have given him ether." Dentist: "Yes it was for that reason that we adopted a rule that where an anmethetic is adminis- tered the patient must pay in advance." I A YOUNG fellow having been asked by a recruiting- sergeant whether he wished to enlist in a Scottish regiment,, replied "Not likely. I'd rather go the lunatic asylum than enlist in a Highland regiment." Aweel," said the sergeant, "I've nae doubt ye'd feel xiair at hame there." FATHER: You are very backward in your arith- metic. When I was your age I was in cube root." Boy What's that?" Father: What? You don't even know what it is ? That's terrible! Here! Give me your pencil. Now we'll take, say, 1, 2, 3, 4, and find the cube root. First you divide No, you j Let me see--tini-yes-no-. Well, never mind. After all, perhaps you're too young to under- stand it." A COLLECTOR of subscriptions for the brass band fund once came across a farmer who was noted for his meanness. To his surprise, the farmer at once consented to subscribe fully as large a sum as any he had yet received. "Mr. Hardfist," he said, address- ing the farmer, "you are surely very fond of music to give so much ?" Oh, yes," said the farmer, they're grand for scarin' the crows from ma 'taties when they're practisin', and I'm grateful." MR. COBB recently married Miss Webb. He knew that they were meant to be joined as soon as he spied her. MI KE What was it Pat said when he fell through the hothouse roof ?" Denny: Oi have a pane in me side, begorra. WIPE Dear, the doctor says it is necessary for me to take a trip to the seaside. What do you think I had better do ?" Husband: Get another doctor." GOLIGIITLY: "What makes you so certain that your eleven will win the football gante Y" Captain Kickhard: I know my men. Every one of them has been rejected by the girl he loves. You are mistaken," he said, with great indigna- tion. I wouldn't marry any woman for her money." Nor for her father a ?" she asked, with a steely glitter in her eyes that made him quail. SIlE: Why does everybody watch a newly-married couple?" He: "Single people watch them because they expect to see some love-making, and married people because they expect to see a quarrel." Mus. BRIDEWELL: I'm glad I wasn't born in France. Just think of having your husband selected for you by somebody else." Mrs. Oldham: I know; but there's the consolation of having somebody to blame afterwards." MRS. NKWIIAM: "What! tenpence a pound for plaice? Why, the man across the street only asks eightpence." Fishmonger: "Very good, madam, but you ought to remember that my fish are hand caught; those you see cpposite are caught in nets; it makes a difference, you know." Mrs. Newham: Of course, how stupid of me. You may give me that large one there." YOUNG gentlemen," said the lecturer in chemistry, coal exposed to the elements loses 10 per cent. of its weight and power. This is due to the action of the alkali constituents of- P, "But what if there is a dog sleeping near the coal, professor ?" None of your levity, young man. This is a serious matter." That's what dad thought, when 72 per cent, of his coal pile disappeared during three nights of exposure. Then he asked my advice, as a student in chemistry, and I told him to buy a dog. He bought a dog, with bay window teeth, and now we don't lose one per cent of our coal a month. That's practical chemistry." I MAY not be very wealthy, but I can afford my own carriage and pair," said the fond father, as he. wheeled his twins along the pavement. TAGns: You say that he left no money when he died ?" Baggs: "No you see he lost his health getting wealthy; and then lost his wealth trying to eet, healthy." MISTRESS (to servant who has just had a wordy conflict with the dustman): And did he use violent language?" Servant:" Violent language? I should just think 'e did. Why, master ain't got no chance against 'im." SIP. ROBIMRT, "Look here, John, my lady complains that when you meet her in the street you never salute her. What do you mean by it?" John: "Beggin' your pardin, Sir Robert, but in a book on ettyketty which I possess it is set down that the lady ought to bow first." MOTHER Willie, dear, what would you like best for your birthday ?" Willie: 0 fmamma, I should so like a telephone next to my pihow, so that I might go to school in bed." SHE I hear that you have lost your valuable little dog. Mr. Dudly." He: Ya'as, in a railway smash. I was saved, but the dawg was killed." She: What a pity." I THINK, Sarah, you had better roast the mutton for dinner, and postpone the pork ?" Sarah (blankly): Sure, mum, I can roast and bile and stew wi' the best, but it's the first time I ever heard o' pos'ponin' a jint!" AT a meeting of a Board of Guardians it was pro- posed that an honorarium be presented to the clerk. who had been very energetic in the interest of the board. A well-meaning but somewhat uneducated member arose and startled his hearers by remarking Gentlemen, our worthy clerk don't want nothing of the sort. If we gave him an honorarium he wouldn't have time to play it. A sum of money would be of much more service t.o|him." IN a case of slander that was heard not long ago a lady had gone into the witness-box on behalf of the plaintiff, whose counsel was examining her. Now, madam," the lawyer began, please repeat the slanderous statements made by the defendant on this occasion, just as you heard them." "Oh, they are unfit for any respectable 'person to bear I" was the emphatic answer. "Then," said !the examiner, coaxingly, "suppose you just whisper them to the judge." THEODORE THESFIS: "But, my dear fellow, I" pay you in time." Peter S. Flint: I prefer it in money." { SHE There, now, wasn't that sweet kiss a daisy ? He: To me it seemed more like a honeysuckle. ) Siiu (trustingly): "Am I the only girl You ever loved, Jack?" Jack: Why—yes—certainly, my dear-that is to say-the only girl I ever loved as I love vou, my darling." i OLD LADY (excitedly): When is the tram due ?' Porter: "In two hours and 40 minutes, ma'am-' Old Lady (with a sigh of relief): Thank you. I am so glad I am not too late! FIRST THIEF (in hotel bedroom): Go quiet, Jim. There's a woman asleep in that room." Second Thief: It don't matter if she wakes up. 11 11 It don't ? One scream would bring half the folks in the house to the door." She won't scream- If she wakes up she'll throw the sheet over her head and keep still." Why will she ?" Her hair is all done up in curl-papers." t( MR. HAMM (the eminent tragedian): xes, we opened our new play at Glasgow on the 1st of January." Friend: "And did you have a long run?" Hamm Well, no, we didn't have a long run but after the second performance we had a long walk-all the way from Glasgow to London." RURAI.'KAGGES Tatts, do y&u know why we s like slot machines Tramping Tatters: No, I d on't. Why is we?" Rural Ragges: 'C08 W8 never work ?" =MRS. JAY: "I can say for myself that I never have been mean enough to get another woman's cook away from her." Mrs. Ben Neither have I; but I must confess that once or twice I have tried to work our cook off on some of my neighbours." # -.AI"

AMERICAN HUMOUR. Josu BILMNGS wrote: If we would giv the rest M mankind the kredit of knowing only just half f\7 mutch az we think we kno ourseifs, the world v. oi.kl be very full of wisdum. Thare iz alltogetber too menny people who think thare iz no good on the earth outside ov the church. The times iz gitting so corrupt that it don't kmilv pay to be honest enny more. I don't know whether good natur iz rerV/mcd amung the virtews or not, bi the normal philoso- phers, but I do kno that menny of the virtews would be unendurable without it. The man who looks for perfekshun in this world will keep on looking for it. He haz got a job on hand that will last him until he dies. Every thing now days seems to hav its market, value even a man's life haz its price. A large share of the happiness in this world, that we brag so much ov, is made up entirely ov the arts we use to make others think that we are happy. AUmost every one hankers to be satirikal, but not one in ten thousand kan be. It takes a good deal ov branes and a good deal ov honesty to do this kind of bizzness well. When we cum to think what a little thing will tJIRe » man off, it is a grate wonder that enny ov us J iv az long az we do. I would rather be a raving Innatik than to be an atheist. I don't care what a man's capacity is, nor what hiz profeshuns are, if he ain't honest he ain't safe. Most men think more ov their reputashnn than they do ov their principles. Good sense iz the diamond, modesty iz the setting, and neither would be perfekt without the other, Vittles and drink are great humanizers. Starve a man. and yu hav got a fiend; fill him up, and yu hav got a turtle duv. I never knu a man yet who lived bi hiz wits, but what spent hiz old age at sumboddy else's expense. Lazyness allwuss works a good deal harder than energy. I hav seen able boddyed men not only tire themselfs out, but their ax, too, chooping wood so slo. Mns. V ON BLCMER: "I had no idea Mrs. Plank- ington was so mean until I went shopping with her." Von Blumer: "What did she do?" Mrs. Von Blumer: I insisted upon paying her car fare, and she let me do it." CAPTAIN: Sergeant, note down Private Grass- green three days on bread and water for slovenly turn-out, on parade." Sergeant: "Beg pardon, captain, that won't make the slightest difference to him. he's a vegetarian." Captain What? Then put him for three days on mutton broth and beef." MRS. FOGG: I consider Mrs. Coppiworth an ideal woman." Mr. Fogg: I agree with you. There is not the first thing about her that is real." Mus. NAGGSBY (calling impatiently) Nora, drop everything at once and come to me Nora: Yes, ma'am." Mrs. Naggsby: "Now, what's the baby crying for?" Nora: "'Cause I dropped him, itia mill. OLD LADY: "Goodness! How dangerous it is go up in a balloon." Balloonist: "Not half as dangerous as it is to come down, ma'am." said the policeman, I guess well have to investigate this." No, sir," exclaimed the cynical citizen whose house had been broken into. I don't want any investigation. What I want is for you to jump in and find out in a hurry who did it." I KNOW there's a good deal said about sandy foundations," observed the metaphysical boarder, but sand makes the best foundation for a prize- fighter." Sill," objected the argumentative boarder, "you can't build a prize fight on anything but rocks." SHE: And what shall I say in case papa aaka me what your prospects are ?" He Well, er—you might say that I am figuring on securing one of the most prominent, influential and wealthy men in the city for my father-in-law. That ought to fetch him." WEEKS: "Young Brokleigh certainly deserves a great deal of credit for keeping up appearances on such a small income." Meeks: Well, don't you think for a minute that he isn't getting it. He owes nearly every man in town." Is there any movement in Botcher's new play ?" Movement? You ought to have seen the author move off the stage when the audience yelled for him after the first act." MRS. PECK: You haven't the spirit of a mouse. Why, you would never have even proposed to me if I hadn't made you do it." N. Peck: I guess that's so. That is the only thing about the whole affair that I have any reason to be proud of." SMITH: Jones says there is something suspicious about his wife's actions." Brown: Is that so ?" Smith: Yes; he says she insists on getting a whiff of his breath every time he is detained down-town late at night." You didn't bring me home a single relic," pouted the sweet thing. My dear," replied her soldier lover, I brought you myself. There is nothing left of me but a relic." SOMETIMES," said Uncle Eben, it do seem dat de man who does de mos' talkin' 'bout hard times is de one dat couldn't be contented wif nuffin' but a soft snap." Go I" she said, and never dare To speak to me as long as you live r He went—and that's what the maiden fair Can never, no, never, forgive. BOWLES Did you climb the Alps while you were abroad ?" Cupps No. Just ran up a bill, that was all." JINKS:" Hello, howdy do, Blinks? Say, old fellow,'come home and take tea with me." Blinks: Really, I am scarcely presentable in these-" Jinks: Bother the clothes That's all right. Come right along. My wife and I value people at their true worth we don't go by their tailors' bills. Come right along." Sam Jinks (half an hour later): Ah, here we are. My dear, allow me to present my friend, Mr. Blinks. Mr. Blinks, Mrs. Jinks. By the way, my dear those things you told me to order I forgot all about until too late to get into the store." Mrs. Jinks (aghast): "What! Forgot? Um-um -er-it's of no consequence at all, my dear, not the least. Happy to make your acquaintance, Mr. Blinks. What delightful weather we are having. Please excuse me one moment." Jinks (in a whisper, after Mrs. J. has disappeared): "Worked likos. charm." Blinks What worked ?" Jinks: "She didn't dare say a word about my forgetting those things with company present. That's why I brought you." IN the good old days in Kentucky there was a court composed of three magistrates to try certain cases appealed from a Bingle justice of the peace. The three magistrates were backwoodsmen. A- case was being tried one day that was very 'important and several hoors of listening to the reading of de- positions and the arguments of counsel, pro and con, and pro and con again, had so nearly entangled the court in a labyrinth of perplexing questions of law and fact that they doubted their ability to blaze their way out. So they whispered to the leading lawyer at the bar, who was sitting by as a spectator, and asked him what he thought ought to be done with the case. "I think it ought to be thrown out of court," was the prompt and emphatic reply. That settled it. "Mr. Clerk," said the chief magistrate, pass up them papers." The papers, which made quite a large bundle, were handed the chief magis- trate. "Now, Mr. Sheriff," said he, deliberately, open that window." The sheriff opened the window and the case was thrown out of court. The feud that followed lasted for 15 years. SIIADBOLT Weil, I'm fifty dollars worse off than I was yesterday morning." Dingus: How's that ?" Shadbolt: I was held by footpads on my way home last^night and robbed," ^Dingus I am sorry for you, old man. But they didn t get the five dollars I borrowed of you before you started home, anyhow." Shadbolt: That's so. I forgot that. I am fifty-five dollars worse off than I was yesterday morning." SMITH: How did you happen to meet Brown this morning?" Jones: I suppose it was because we approached each other from opposite directions. Most likely if we had been going the same way or had been moving away from each other we should not have met." It is by such ill-natured remarks as this that Jones has acquired the name of a great wit. There were others long before his time. MARKETMAN: Well, little girl, what will yon have ?" Little Girl: Have you got any horseless radish ?"

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