The Brecon Reporter and South Wales General Advertiser

AGRICULTURE. ] The Farmers' Prospects. I The present state of the agricultural world is, no I doubt, uncertain and unsatisfactory; indeed, when we look around us, everything connected with land seems in an anomalous position. Taking the relative situa- tion of the producer and consumer, the former has a prospect of heavy losses in the cattle department, as both cattle and s wine are most seriously affected with disease. If the farmer turns to his crops, he finds a probable deficiency in all the kinds of grain, and with regard to wheat especially, not only deficiency in the quantity, but also in the quality, for the late heavy Tains have had unquestionably a very damaging effect; in fact, it may be assumed generally, that the wheat crop will be below an average, especially on light lands, t'he autumn-sown alone, and only in certain localities, coming up to the ordinary standard—the new samples that have been sent to market being spoken of as inferior in condition. Barley, too, is below an average, and oats are looking very poor arid indifferent. In the midst of so much that is discou- raging', the Tains, that have done great damage to the grain, have proved of great benefit to the root crop. The turnips and mangold-wurzel are looking well, and promise very good returns, so that for the animals during the winter, should the steps that are being taken to stop the cattle plague prove successful, there will be a good supply of food, which may tend in some degree to mitigate the losses by disease, and the farmer will thus be enabled to secure a higher value for those animals that may be spared. Moreover, the grass lands everywhere are showing wonderful signs of recovery from the effect of the early drought, so that there will be a fair run of herbage. Now as last year the want of food was a source of great loss to the farmer, this year there is a larger amount of food for what may prove to be a short supply of beasts; a balance thus exists in some degree, so that all is not so unfavourable. And even with regard to grain, though the quality may be inferior, there is now a steady rise in price, which to some extent acts as a set-off to the diminished supply from the land. If, on the other hand, we look to the consumer, the plague among the cattle and the fever that has been raging among the pigs have raised the price of meat very considerably, and the prospect of a still further advance of price during the coming winter is by no means improbable; the only hope of any relief would be from a foreign supply of beasts, and there is an endeavour being made to cut this off, by assuming that the disease has been introduced by foreign importa- tions. Fortunately, further investigations would appear to militate against this supposition, and we may, therefore, reasonably conclude that the demand created by the cattle plague here will in time bring an increased number of animals to our markets, so as to .-soften in some degree the hard lines of the present time. The disease among the pigs is not reported to be spreading; some relief may be expected in this quarter. But when we look to the prospect of the grain market, where a considerable rise has already taken ,Plaoe, the future is not encouraging for the consumer. Our own crops are deficient, and on looking abroad for a supply, the foreign accounts of the harvest are unfortunately too much like our own to hold out any chance of any great importation. The reports of the crops in France are not favourable, and the prices are high there, which is against any expert trade from thence. From Belgium we have the same accounts; from Germany, also, the accounts are by no means promising; and those from the great grain-growing districts on the shores of the Baltic echo the same tale of deficiency. Even from the Black Sea, whence our supplies are usually large, it would seem we need not hope for any considerable increase to our home stock; and lookin g acroB s the waters of the Mediterranean to the land which has been hitherto considered a granary for Europe—the Board of Trade returns show against Egypt the word nil-implying, of course, no hope from thence. From the other side of the Atlantic, even if there should be a large growth, the prices are high, ,which will be against shipments for Europe; besides, the war has spread such desolation over a large sur- face of the country, that it seems more than probable that all that can be got will be required for the country itself. At present, therefore, the chances seem to favour a rise in price of grain, and consequently of bread. But in almost every case some balance of com- pensation is sure to arise; yet it must be admitted, under all the circumstances, that we may hope for the .best, but, at the same time, be prepared for any un. favourable contingencies.

HINTS UPON GARDENING. --+-- ANNUALS to stand the winter to be sown now on poor hard ground, or in pans filled with poor soil. The sorts to sow now are ca.ndytufts, nemophilas, collin- sias, escholtzias, erysimum, clarkias, convolvulus minor, godetia, larkspur, lupinus, poppy, and schizanthus. BULBS to be procured at once and potted or planted ae required. Bulbs to be planted in borders now occu- pied with flowers may be started in reserve beds, on moss or leaf mould, or in clumps in rich saady com- post. When the borders are cleared they can be transplanted without injury to the roots, and the bloom will be finer than by delaying the planting till the end of October or November. Crocuses that have got mixed may be treated in the same way. Remove them at once to a reserve bed of rich sandy soil; there let them bloom, and then separate them, and plant while in flower in the places they are to occupy permanently. CHRYSANTHEMUMS to be got in order for blooming without delay, to be tied in as required, and to have .plenty of water, varied once a week or so with liquid .manure. CUCUMBERS are mostly beginning to fail now, or will be shortly, so those who want a succession of fruit muBt be on the alert. Sow or strike cuttings, the latter to be preferred, and get ready to make up new beds. Old plants still in vigour must have the help of linings, and be covered with mats at night. Beware of mildew: if it once appears, remove the affected leaves, and give the plants a sprinkling of sulphur. DAHLIAS are awfully beset with thrips this season, and the light blooms are spoiled as fast as they open —indeed before they open. We have seen all sorts of .nostrums tried as a preventive of the mischief, but none have been successful. The recent heavy rains will, however, cleanse them thoroughly, and there is a jjromise of a good autumn bloom. INTERMEDIATE STOCKS to be potted in thumbs singly, and kept shaded till thev make fresh roots. Sow queens, intermediates, and Bromptons; the soil to be a sound turfy loam, without dung manure will make them too sappy to stand the winter well, but a poor soil will be likely to cause a large proportion of single flowers. MELDNS.- If any dJfficulty in getting the fruit to ripen, the following plan may be adopted:—Cut the fruit with as much stalk attached as possible place them on shallow cups or any convenient vessels, with about a glass of wine in the vessel, and the stalk of the fruit dipping into it. The hottest part of a lean. to house will be the proper place to ripen them off the wine will be absorbed, and the flavour of tbe flesh improved; and a few days' sunshine will ripen them perfectly. MILDEW will show itself in all close camp places now, and do incalculable mischief it Dot cheeked. Sulphur dustings are the best remedy, put fresh air and cleanliness will do much to prevent it. PANSIES to be propagated now in quantity for planting out in October, and to pot for parfy blooming in pits in spring. Those lately struck to be planted out in beds of turfy loam, with a liberal admixture of sand and charred rubbish, bat very little animal manure. PEACHES to have as much air as possible, therefore remove any subjects that require to be kept closer, in order to admit a thorough draught amor: g the trees, and if the lights can be taken off all the better. If the wood is not well ripened now it never will be, and ad- vantage must be taken of fine weather io make sure of it. PINEB must have a bottom heat of 90 àe.g.. and -every encouragement to swell their fruit. Pot off suckers as soon as possible, that full advantage may be ? taken of the favourable weather we srs now enjoying for getting the young stoek firm and strong. ° ROSES lately budded to have the ties loosened. Where buds have failed, others may be inserted either on the stems of young stocks or on suitable shoots lower down than those previously worked. Prune pillar roses, so as to remove a moderate amount of both old and young wood; that left to be its full, j length, and at such regular distances that there will be good symmetrical heads next season. Short oat- tings of Chinas and perpetuale will root now in the j open ground under glasses. j ) TOMATOES will ripen well while this weather lasts, but in case of a change to chilly weather, it should be borne in mind that when the fruit is fully grown, it may be ripened on a shelf in the greenhouse, if cut with some portion of the stem attached.- Gardeite.s' Magazine.

LYNCH LAW IN LONDON. A correspondent of the Morning Star writes as fol- lows :—" Last evening it was my good or ill fortune to witness an extraordinary scene on the borders of the Black Sea. Lest any of your readers should suppose that lam one of your foreign correspondents, or no other than the Wandering Jew. I mav state that the Black Sea is the local name for a pond of no great extent or beauty in the neighbourhood of Wandsworth. On the banks of this not very pellucid lake the scene last evening was of the quietest description. In midst of this general tranquillity I noticed a lady descend from a cab, displaying in herright hand a white handkerchief. She looked wonderingly a;bout for a few minutes. Pre. sently a gentleman repeated the signal of peace; and then, having pocketed his handkerchief, he walked forward to the lady, and shook her warmly by the hand. I then observed the gentleman lead the lady in a very affectionate manner towards a seat which was separated from the pond by only a very narrow bank. No sooner had they prepared to seat them- selves than the lady, In a very wonderful way, abruptly left her companion and ran off, while the gentleman was seized by two rough-looking men, who forthwith had the assurance to lug him down to the banks of the lake and chuck him into its waters. Suddenly the delightful stillness of the Black Sea was broken by heartrending shrieks; and the gentleman was seen to wallow out on all fours from the plain of mud in a very deplorable condition. When at last he emerged he presented one of the most unhappy spec- tacles that ever a gazer witnessed. He glistened from head to foot with mud like an enormous boa constrictor; his coat was rent across his hat was smashed; while his face revealed the most hideous mass of mud that ever made a human being look like a chimpanzee. Immediately the scene of this extraordinary dip was the pole whither everybody on the common was attracted; and it seemed as though the miserable ex- perimenter on this new sensation scene was well known to most Wandsworthiaas, for he underwent a singular amount of hooting as he shuffled off. But these expressions of public disapproval were redoubled. The stranger turned upon his assailants, and singling out one of them, knocked off his hat, and finally closed with him. Several of the crowd were about to help their comrade, when the English love of justice intervened, and a loud cry of One to one" was raised. One to one it was though I do not consider that principle applies to cases in which the one is covered with mud and the other is a decently-dressed English- The gentleman attacked suffered more from mud than blows, though his sc rf and collar were torn open. His clothes received a faint lithographic im- ? Black Sea, and his face presented a faithful photograph thereof. Finally the man who had been ducked backed off, and took refuge in a tavern, in front of which assembled a crowd of natives to discuss the matter. From these people I received, in snatches, thsiiol.owing details. A foreign nobleman, whom I shall call Count Caskowbisky, has for some time back been in the habit of inveigling into a cor- respondence young ladies desirous of being wedded; and it is alleged that in not a few instances these fool- ish girls have been made to pay the penalty of their folly by being forced to contribute to the count's yearly income under fear of an exposure. Hitherto the count has been slippery, and eluded conviction. But more recently a gentleman from Wandsworth thought fit to reply to one of the advertisements put forth by Count Caskowhisky, and succeeded in enticing the count into a correspondence. ThE letters, I am told, are sufficiently warm on both sides. Clorinda is gush- ing; Philander is recklessly pious. Finally, so the story runs, a meeting was arranged on Wandsworth- common; and a married lady, who volunteered to become a weapon of punishment on behalf of her suf- fering sisters, undertook to personate Clorinda. Hence the scene which disturbed my poetic reveries, and which raised such commotion last evening in the peace- ful neighbourhood of Wandsworth. I fear the pro- ceedings were altogether very unjustifiable. Doubtless revenge is a rude sort of justice; but it is a form of justice which is not quite in accordance with the modern law of Great Britain. While, therefore, I lift my hands in horror at the summary vengeance taken by the Wandsworthians, I venture to lay before your readers such details as came under the observation of an eye-witness."

WILLS AND BEQUESTS. The will of Si- John Hare, late of Hardelot-villa, Clifton, and of Boulogne-sur-Mer, France, has been proved in London by his relict, Lady Hare, the sole executrix. Sir John was formerly a merchant residing at Bristol, and a magistrate for somerset, was twice married, and died on the 2nd February last at the age of eighty-one, having executed his will in January this year, whereby he bequeaths the whole of his property to his wife for life, and upon her ladyship's decease the same is to be divided equally between his two daughters. The will of Francis Williams, Esq., of Langhern-hill, Wichenford, Worcester, was proved in the London court on the 9th August. The personalty was sworn under £ 400,000. The executors appointed are his nephews, Francis E. Williams (who alone is acting) and Edward J. Williams, together with the Rev. W. E. Wall. The two latter renounced. The will is dated June 23, 1862, and there are five codicils, the last dated Dec. 23, 1863. The will is of considerable length, and there are numerous bequests. The principal portion of his freehold property he has devised by his will to his nephew Francis E. Williams. His Wichenford estates he leaves to Thomas J. Jones on attaining twenty-one, and who, upon his coming into possession, is to assume and use the surname and bear the arms of Williams. His estate called the Neke, in Avenbury, Hereford, he leaves to Sophia Jones for her life, and after her decease to Jehn Francis Williams. His farm at North Shink, Herts, he leaves to his nephew, Edward J. Williams. There are also pecuniary legacies to these parties, and to other of his nephews and nieces, as well as to other members of his family and acquaintance, and also to his servants. The residue of his property he has left, by a codicil, in certain divisional parts amongst the said Sophia Jones and her five children. The will of John Craven, Esq., formerly of Alexan- drian-house, Surrey, and late of 9, Upper Branswick- place, Brighton, was proved in London, under X12,000, by the acting executor, Henry Craven, the son; Thomas Martin, of Great Garden-street, the other executor, having renounced. The trustees are William Sentance (the testator's son-in-law), and David Brown, of the Merchant Seamen's Office. The will is dated February 24, I860, and the testator died on the 13th of May last. He directs his trustees to see that his business of sugar refiner is carried on until the 1st of February, 1872; and should the said Thomas Martin not continue in the management, that it shall be in the power of the trustees to place his sons therein, who will be at liberty to purchase the stock, &c., at the expiration of that period. He leaves to his wife an annuity of < £ 150, and X450 a year for the support of his children, except his daughter Ann, the wife of his executor, Mr. Sentance. The ultimate residufe of his property is to be divided equally amongst all his children.-Illustrated London News. The will of the late Mr. John Cassell, publisher, La Belle Sauvage-yard, Ludgate-hill, residing at Avenue- road, Regent's-park, was proved in London by his widow, Mrs. Mary Cassell, the sole executrix, the trustees appointed being Thomas D. Galpin and George Smith. The personal property was sworn under £ 25,000. The testator died 2nd April last, having executed his will on the 22nd of March preceding, and a codicil on the day following. He directs that his real estates shall be sold and in- vested with the personalty; bequeaths to his wife Zl,000 a year, and leaves her all his furniture, plate, library, wines, carriages, &c., giving her his authority and consent to continue the investment of his capital in the businesses carried on by the firms of Cassell, Petter, and Galpin, and of Cassell, Smith, and Co., but without any interference therein, the trustees to receive and invest all the surplus income and pro tits due to his estate, arising therefrom, for a period of twenty-one years, or until the death of his relict or the marriage of his daughter, leaving to his said daughter in the meantime an annuity, increasing with her age from J2100 to .£500 a year whilst unmarried, but on her marrying, then to receive the interest for her life, and at her decease to be divided among her children. An annuity is left to his mother, which, at her decease, will devolve to his sisters.:—City Press.

SINGULAR WILLS. A hundred odd fancies and conceits, illustrative of the foreign dictum, that England is the home of ec- centricity," are constantly appearing in English wills. Here is the will of Monica Swiney, widow, who was of so Ovidian a turn of mind that even her will ran into rhyme:— For this I never will repent, 'lis my last will and testament. If much or little, nay, my all, I give my brother, Matthew Gall. And this will hinder any pother By sister Stritch or Mic our brother. Yet stop. Should Matt die before Mic. And that may happen, for death's quick, I then bequeath my worldly store To brother Mic for evermore. And should I outlive my brothers, It's fit that then I think of others. Matthew has sons and daughters two, 'Tis all their own, were it Peru. Pray, Mr. Forest, don't sit still, But witness this as my last will. (Signed) MONICA SWINEY. John Hedges, whose will was proved July 13, 1847, also indulged in a psetioal vein, as follows This 5th of May, being airy and gay, To hipp not inclined, but of vigorous mind, And my body in health, I'll dispose of my wealth, And of all I'm to leave on this side of the grave To some one or other, I think to my brother. But because I foresaw that my brethren-in-law, If I did not take care would come in for a share, Which Inoways intended till their manners are mended (And of that there's no sign), I do therefore enjoin, And do strictly command, as witness my hand, That nought I have got be brought into hotchpot; But I give and devise, as much as in me lies, To the son of my mother, my own dear brother, To have and to hold all my silver and gold, As affectionate pledges of his brother, John Hedges, A curioua circumstance occurred to the late Sir Charles James Napier. He was reported by Sir J. Hope as amongst the slain at Corunna, and, in course of time, Mr. Richard Napier applied for probate of his brother's will, which was granted in February, 1809. On Sir Charles appearing personally in court some time after, his will was given out to him. Lord St. Leonards mentions two curious cases in regard to the execution of wills: in one, where a lady went to her attorney's office to execute her will, but executed it in her carriage in the presence of the witnesses, who then returned into the office to attest it: The validity of the will was established because the carriage was accidentally put back to the window of the office, through which, it was sworn by a person in the carriage, the lady might see what passed; that is, the witnesses signing the attestation. In another instance of this nature there was an un- seemly contest between the Court of Chancery and the jury who had to try the validity of a will of a noble duke, which depended upon the question whether the testator could see the witnesses who signed in an adjoining room. Two juries found in favour of the will, and yet the court directed a third trial. -ffe)- Majesty's Court of Probate," in Blackwood.

♦ i- Parricide at Evesham.—A drtadful crime was committed at Bengeworth, Evesham, late on Thursday night. A young man named Vale, who lived with his father, an agea man, returned home and quarrelled with some of his brothers and sisters. His father took part against him in the quarrel, upon which he seized the unhappy old man by the head, dragged him to the door, and threw him out with great violence into the street. The old man's head fell on the atone pave- ment, and with such violence that he died after giving one gasp. The unnatural son was apprehended, and was brought before Mr. White, the Mayor, and Mr. J. B. Haynes. He was formally charged with the offence, and remanded. The deceased bore a very good character, but the prisoner and the other members of the family are said to have been very quarrelsome.

DREADFUL CHILD MURDER AT HIGHGATE. On Saturday evening Dr. Lankestar held an inquiry at the Gate-house Tavern, North-street, Highgate, into the circumstances of the murder of a female child, ten days old, that had been chopped up with a hatchet. Robert M. Pringle, a tailor, living in North-street, Highgate, said that on Thursday evening last, at eight o'clock, he was walking along Green Dragon-lane, when he found a parcel tied up carefully with twine. He had passed that way five minutes previously, and the parcel was not there then. He took it up and carried it home. He opened it in the presence of his family, and a child's head rolled out upon the table. He put the head back instantly, and took the parcel to the police station. Police-constable Alfred Hayley, 15 S, said that here- ceived the parcel from the last witness. It consisted of the head, trunk, and leg of a child, wrapped op in three newspapers and a piece of calico. The papers were two copies of the Times, of September and November, 1864, and the Standard of January, 1865. Dr. N. J. Wetherall said that he had examined the remains of the deceased. He found the trunk and the head, and one leg of a full-grown female child. It appeared to have been about ten days old, but he could not be positive on that point. The body had been cut or rather chopped up with a sharp weapon, evidently a small hatchet. The head was chopped off at the neck; it appeared as if it had been chopped in a slanting manner, while the body had been placed on the back on a hard substance. Both legs were chopped off at the thighs. Only one leg was in the parcel. The two arms had been cut off close to the body, and were missing. The stomach had been split up with a knife, and the bowels taken out; they were missing. A knife had been inserted under- neath the ribs, wrenching them back and break- ing them. Two ribs were absent. The heart. lungs, and liver were removed. A post-mortem examination proved that there was a clot of blood un- derneath the scalp, which had apparently resulted from a blow. It was impossible to tell the precise cause of death, in consequence of the mutilated state of the body. The child had not been dead longer than twelve or eighteen hours before its remains were found in the parcel. A juror suggested that the object of dismembering the child might have been to facilitate the destruction of the body by fire: but that, when the viscera was burnt, the party engaged in the crime became alarmed lest the smell of the burning flesh might cause dis- covery, and that the remainder of the body was on that account thrown away in the public road. Dr. Wetherall said that he considered that the theory in question was very likely to be the correct one. The Coroner said that it would be very desirable that the police should visit the various houses in the neighbourhood and inquire whether any of the inmates had noticed a smell of burning flesh within the last few days. Inspector Westlake said that he had specially de- tached Sergeant Harrison to investigate the case. No clue had as yet been discovered, but Harrison would continue his inquiries until some result was ob- tained. The jury said that they were ready to return a ver- dict of wilful murder in the case as it stood. It was clear that an atrocious murder had been com- mitted. The Coroner said that it would be by far the best plan to adjourn the inquiry in order to see whether the publicity that would be given to the case in the news- papers might lead to the detection of whoever was concerned in the crime. A child ten days old would surely be missed from some household. The proceedings were then adjourned.

SrJUTH KENSINGTON GARDENS. Saturday being the anniversary of the late Prince Consort's birthday, the Royal Horticultural Sooiety's Gardens at South Kensington were, in accordance with the special provision of her Majesty the Queen, thrown open to the public free of any admission fee. The Queen, who is patron, desired that, as these beautiful gardens were founded by his Royal High- ness, the public should be thus admitted on his birth- day in memoriam. Last year was the first occasion oa which this was done, when, the day being exceed- ingly flne, as many as 153,000 persons availed them- selves of the permission; and although there were sixty to eighty thousand present at one time, not the slightest wilful injury happened to the flower beds. This was the more creditable, as the people had but a limited space to move about in. On Saturday last the weather was again as pleasant as could be wished, and it is computed that 130,000A persons assembled. The gates were opened at ten o'clock, soon after which visitors passed through them, and by eleven o'clock nearly 4,000 were in the gardens; by noon upwards of 12,000 had entered. In the afternoon the numbers increased even more rapidly, about 30,000 having entered by the south-east gate alone at four o'clock. Special arrangements had been made by the council for the convenience of the visitors, and, under the direction of Mr. Inspector Gibbs, who had a force of 115 constablesondutyinandaboutthegardens, they were admirably carried out. The western arcades were fitted up for the sale of refreshments at published prices, while a portion of the gardens were set apart for those who had brought their own provisions and preferred to lunch al fresco. The bands of various volunteer regiments were in attendance as well as those of the police, and performed most efficiently during the day. The cascades and the large ajolica. fountain formed a continual source of attraction as did a very pretty collleetion of orchids and flowering plants in the oonservatory, the Saturday show taking place as usual. In the afternoon Mr. Frank Buckland's interestin g fish- hatching apparatus and Mr. Waterhouse Hawkins's beehives were shown, and both excited the liveliest curiosity. This year the society has adopted the plan of allow. ing the public to visit the gardens at a very reduced charge during the months of August, September, and October, which probably accounts for the absence of most of the schools that attended last year, as the managers probably prefer paying a small sum, that their children may be more at their ease than where there is such a vast crowd present. Hundreds of the visitors, after spending an hour or two in this delight- ful place, visited the South Konsington Museum, which was also open to the public as usual on Satur- days. Her Majesty will be pleased to learn that so many thousands of her subjects were thus enabled to enjoy themselves, and that their respeot and love for the memory of the good Prince who has passed away were abundantly proved by the admirable manner in which they one and all conducted themselves. A better sample of good temper and obliging courtesy was never shown by any body of people assembled for enjoyment.

Robbery of Communion Plate. At the public-office, Birmingham, a young man named Thomas Bevan, described as a. blacksmith, was charged with stealing the communion plate from St. Martin's Church, Birmingham, of which the Rev. J. C. Miller, D.D., is rector. The plate, which comprised about twelve pieces of the finest silver, was worth upwards of j6100. It was deposited in a box in the sacristy, which was broken open and rifled of its contents a fortnigni ago. liio prisoner is the son of the woman who cleans the church, and is presumed to have made use of the keys In her possession. He was remanded. a ?j^en Miles of Ants in Scotland.—The Southern Reporter has the following:—That ants occasionally make their appearance in such prodigious numbers that the air is obscured by them, as vouched for in Chambers Encyclopedia" and by other writer?, is a circumstance but rarely witnessed, we should say, in this country. Nevertheless, a corrobora- tion of the statement was witnessed in the neighbour. hood of Selkirk on Saturday last. One gentleman, residing in Selkirk, had occasion to visit Hawiok on the day named, and, perhaps from the fineness of the weather or the extortionate fares of the North British Railway Company, he was induced to perform the journey on foot. On the outskirts of Selkirk he had his attention arrested by myriads upon myriads of winged ants moving in the air and on the turnpike road. The road, to use his own expression, was lite- rally carpeted by the little insect?, and at regular in- tervals of about six feet they were collected into clusters about the size of a pigeon's egg, apparently engaged in combat. He was so tormented by those on the wing lighting on his face and hands that he was forced to deviate into a footpath, thinking there to avoid them. But no. Here they were again under and around him as numerous as before. In this way did they cover the road until he reached Groundistone Edge, a distance of upwards of seven miles fiom Sell irk.

FACTS AND F ACETIlE, —♦— A tear is often the indication of a noble mind. A very good book is much read, but a lobster i often much redder. It is a good thing to laugh at any rate; and if 1 straw can ticsle a man it is an instrument of happi ness. A horse-dealer, describing a used-up horse, saic he looked as if he had been editing a newspaper. When is iron like a band of robbers ? When it's united to steel. A man, courting a young woman, was interrogate by her father as to his occupation. I am a papel hanger upon a large scale," he replied. He manial the girl, and turned out to be a bill-sticker. "Pa," said a lad to his father, I often read of Pec pie poor but honest; why don't they say rich bu honest ? Tut, tut, my son," said the father, no body would believe them." A sentimental young lady having asked a geo'jj man why he did not secure some fond one's across the ocean of life, replied that he would doB were he certain that said ocean would be Pacific. A lady walking a few days since on the prof nade at Brighton asked a sailor whom she met wltf Bhip was called a "she?" The son of Neptune) gallantly replied that it was because the rigfl costs so much." A chaplain was once preaching to a elasS collegians about the formation of bad habits. Gel', men," said he, close your ears against bad 4 courses. The scholars immediately clapped tJj. hands to their ears. An enterprising chemist has managed to extrf from sausages a powerful tonic, possessing the wl' strength of the original bark. He calls it the swphl of canine. "Ma." said a little boy, has aunty got bees in) mouth ?" No, my dear; why do you ask ? 'Ca' Captain Jones caught hold of her and said, He « going to take honey from her lips;' and she EfL Well, make haste Quin was at a small dinner party. There waS delicious pudding, of which the master of the bo begged him to partake. A gentleman had just befij helped himself to an immense piece of it. Pr#3j said Quin, looking first at the gentleman's plate then at the dish, "which is the pudding?" 11 1 wonder how they make lucifer matches!" S Mrs. Caudle. The process is very simple," said J Caudle; "I once made one." How did you man it?" "By leading you to the altar." Caf caught it. A Drop of the Crater."—An Irishman who returned from Italy, where he had been with master, was asked in the kitchen, "Yea, then, what is the lava I hear the master talking aboo> Only a drop of the crater," was Pat's reply.

EPITAPHS. On a tombstone in Bulford Churchyard:— j James Grist, of Bulford, near Salisbury, died ij 2, 1742, aged 108 years. These following lines supposed to be written by himself:— ¡ Stop, passenger, until my life you read, The living may get knowledge by the dead. Four times ten years I lived a single life, Four times five years I lived with a wife. Four times twelve years I lived a widower; In all my time I was not sick an hour. I from my cradle to my grave have seen j, Six mighty kings of England, and two Quee; I still lived honest, sober, good, and chaste; Now tired of this mortal life I rest. Strange desolation in my time has been, I have an end of all perfection seen. You see the longest day must have an en^t j Therefore prepare to follow me, my friend- L In the churchyard of the parish of DowntoBi» Salisbury, there is a gravestone to the mem0^ Daniel Sheryer, with the following epitaph "This world is like a city full of crooked streets» ,v And Death's the market-place where all men If life was merchandise that men could bny, ,¡ The rich would live and none but poor would This stone appears to have been erected &b°^ year 1784. On a lawyer:— I" Traveller, stop I look down! one 'Neath twenty feet of earth, encased in lead, 'Hie jacet;'—strange, his habit ne'er forsook When living 'twas by lies he got his bread, us And now when Death has done nis work and too* H He lies beneath the soil among the dead." A Rustic Courtship.—" Oi say, Pegg7«S many years be it sin' we begun ta keep oomp^Mv gether ?_ Ten or twelve, oi reckon." Ten or f More loike fourteen or sixteen. Whoi, Miss Ai^f W i but a babby so hoigh (indicating the height hand) runnin' about th' dairy an' tumblin* in tbjwf pans and duck-pond, if a wench nobbut turO^jJs back." "Whoi, what a memory yo' ha', ejaculated Dick, with exulting admiration, oijm na* remember that fur!" Ha but yo' if yo'r ears clouted as oi did, sure as eggs, big woman as tended th' house that year, f<< dawdlin' wi thee instead of mindin' the sarve mea right too, for th' little un hadn noj, drownded." "She was na' drownded, thoug now she s a foine loss goin' to be wed Oi say, 1', if our betters think it toime to get wed afore known,, one another's faces twelve months, jo' think as how we who ha' known each Oj moinds more nor them manny years moight W What dost say, loss ? Oi dunno," was answer from Peggy's lips, whilst her rough twirled the tape ringlets unconsciously. Tha whoi, Peggy, loss, tha dun'! An' Peggy, oi think as how ehouldn' ha' axed yo' that o\ manny a year ago An' so, if yo' dunna say tin go an' put th' banns oop next Sunday! say ? Peggy had not said anything, but she\ saueeze out the words, If tha loilres TWlt. Providence House. i;i^r^?^s~Presefve<i by Joshua Esq. Don t ssvop with your relashuns kin afford to give them the big end of$4 Marry young, and, if circumstances require d ff y0]1 can't git good cloathes and edicatioo M the cloathes. Say "How are you?" to Cultivate modesty, but mind and keep a good 0 Jr; impudence on hand. Bee wj Weire made on purpose. It costs mere to b°rry)l?1 it does to buy. If a man flatters you, you °0P^-4 late he is a rogue, or you are a fule. Keep both W open, but don't see morn harlf you notis. llVim for fame, go into a graveyard and scratch yoo^ut 5] a tume stone. Young man, be more anxus pedigree yur going to leave tham you are wun somebody's going to leave you. Sin is —selfsone and sure to cum. Two lovera ,"Lv armies, generally git along quietly, until J engaged.. The Pope and the Dancer.—A Vw^ has the following anecdote of Fanny Elsslei"; go$S the trophies of this favourite of Terpsichore J3 wreath, which has a little history of its °w,I/W Fanny Elssler, in 1847, delighted the EterE^hy her dancing, some of her admirers -e^ei J of 12,000 lire, which was the sum asked by for the intended present—a golden wreath. 1^- tffX- was finished and ready to be presented to the conscience of the faithful Cathalics was by the doubt whether such a demonstration be distasteful to the Pope. Accordingly w t>jo to consult his Holiness on the matter" answered You do n«t need my consent f°fi if .A intend to do; give the wreath to the da affords you pleasure; but allow me to } t^e c» Jj you do not seem to have been fortunate^a J of the keepsake which you have dec:id ot$m should have preferred a garlaad, a bouQ. thing of the sort, for I thought till novf were meant for the head, not for the shows that the Pope, as little as any otn resist the opportunity for making a V^qqq iir>ieJ he made atonement for it in giving 4> poor on the day the golden wreath Fanny Elssler. 'jH ♦ —1 ,i

The "Golden Living" at ^goO-l rectory of Stanhope, which used richest in England, being worth as 0'lrf^S year, recently became vacant by the deap t a* cL,p] William Nicholas Darnell, M.A. By a r"C oil, ment the patronage falls to the BL-I10P.0 tr^iatio. of the vast revenues of the benefice Iv to the endowment of perpetual curacies 0ji K The biBhop has conferred the Hvin £ 0f CteVw Charles Clayton, B.D., fellow and tuto lotva. Q.riJ^ i"nnnmKonf .J