The Brecon Reporter and South Wales General Advertiser

AGRICULTURE. THE principal manufacturers of agricultural imple- ments in England have sect a memorial to the Colonial Office, stowing that th*y ai e practically shut out from Canadian trade because of the very high duties levied by the Government of tie colony. Mr. Cardwell bas transmitted the memorial to the Governor of Canada for consideration. A. great manufacturer of agricul- tural implements is ab(;ut to proceed to the United States wish a view to obtaining soice ooEcession from the Government there. At present English agricul- tural machinery is as-much shut out from the States as from Canada, and for the same reason. Ourmanu- facturers think this should not be, so long as American machinery is received here free from all duty charge. The Adulteration of Oil Cake. Professor Anderson has stated, at a meeting of the Highland and Agricultural Society, that there is pro- bably no article of agricultural consumption which is so frequently and groasly adulterated as oil cake. He adds The fraud, too, ia one of bat recent introduction, for- even ten or twelve years since it was rare, while now it has attained really gigantic proportions, and is carried on with such skill and ingenuity that the most experienced purchaser is liable to be deceived, even 'when he exercises all his prudence and caution, for the mixtures which are offered to him are not only the most perfect imitation of the genuine article, but it aot unfrequently happens that an adulterated cake will, to the eye, appear superior even to those which, though genuine, are not of^ the highest quality. This adulteration is a subject which must at all times attract the attention of the feeder, but becomes doubly im. portant at the present time, wnen epidemic disease is rife, and when nutritive food of the best quality is of especial importance; for it is by maintaining stock in the highest state of health that they are most likely to resist its attacks. The farmer most commonly judges by the eye, and if the appearance of the cake be good, and its taste sweet and free from bitterness, he is often, indeed most generally, satisfied. If he is more cautious, he demands the analysis of the cake he is about to buy, and ascertains whether the amount of oil, albuminous compounds, &c,, come up to the standard to which he has been accustomed. Both methods of judging are faliacions-the first, no doubt, more than the second, for the adulterator, dealing with the farmer who judges by the eye and the palate, has only to deceive these organs; while if he deals with the more cautious individual who looks at the analysis, he has to solve the somewhat more difficult problem of concocting a mixture which shall resemble the genuine article, not only in taste and appearance, but in composition also. In the former case the number of substances which can be used for adultera- tion is pretty large; in the latter it is more restricted and in general it is necessary to use them more cautiously, and for the most part in smaller quantity. It is scarcely necessary to observe that the substances used for adulterating oilcake must be of vegetable origin, and those are selected which can be most easily mixed with linseed, without provoking suspicion, and are, at the same time, materially lower in price. Bran, rice- dust, rape, and a variety of similar substances, are used for the purpose. In fact, the number of materials which can be employed are very large, and the selec- -tion is greatly influenced by local circumstances. The existence near the oil-crusher's premises of a work fur- nishing a suitable refuse, which can be introduced into the oil-mill without exciting suspicion, will often deter- mine its use; and thus it happens that the materials employed areconstantlyohanging,and it is often difficul t, if not impossible, to identify them when they are ground up in the cake, though it may be easy to say that they are not linseed. The adulterations of oil-cake are of two kinds-let. Those which seek to imitate the Teal cake both in appearance and composition. 2nd. Those in which so large a quantity of inferior material is added that the- composition of the cake is materially altered. The first is necessarily by far the most dangerous kind of adulteration, and that most likely to escape detection. It admits of being carried out with comparative ease, in consequence of the con- siderable variation in the composition of genuine linseed cake, which appears to be due to differences in the quality of the seed. In some instances the seed is small and shrivelled, and the husks bear a large pro- portion to the kernel- in others it islarge and plump, and then the proportion of husk is small; and when the latter seed is crushed, it gives a cake much richer in albu- minous compounds than the former. It is not easy to say to what this difference in the quality of the seed is due, but I think I have observed a decided superiority in that grown in warm climates. Whatever may be the cause of the difference, there is no doubt about its effect on the composition of the cake."

SPORTS AND PASTIMES. -+-- LORD HARRINGTON has signified his wish to give a silverscup to be contended for annually at the Derby Regatta. We trust that the "Harrington Cup" will never be easily won. WE hear that the Aberdeenshire shooting will be very bad this year, as there has been an extensive disease amongst grouse. Many birds are found dead on the moors. In Sutherlandshire they are, however, healthy. The fishing has been the worst known for many years, on account of want of rain. A PARTY of Chinese have begun the pursuit of shrimping in the Ovens River, Victoria, and are now doing a thriving trade. Shrimps equal to the best procurable in England, are retailed in Wangaratta at a shilling per pint, cooked and ready for eating. A SELECT party of ladies and gentlemen have, it appears, organised, under the auspices of some of the yacht clubs, a trip this autumn to the Mediterranean in a first- class steamer of about 600 tons. The party has been limited to thirty-five, and will leave England on the 14th July, and stay from two to seven days at different places. The tour is expected to occupy a space of three months. AMONGST the odd things that revivals have done of late is to revive the old stage coach. There ia a four- in-hand which does the distance daily to Brighton in five hours, and stage coaches are to be placed on several of the roads in the south of England. People patronise the Brighton one very fairly, and it pgyfi as a rival against the rail. THE MIDDLESEX VOLUNTEER BATTALION CHAL- LENGE Cup.-The 1st and 2nd battalions of the Qaeen's being the victors on the 11th and 12th inst., shot together on the 20th to decide which should hold the cup for the year. The match, which also deter. mined the best shooting battalion for 1866, was a very close and exciting one. The first battalion at 200 yards made a score of 369, and at 500 yards of 307, at 600 yards of 255, or a total of 931. The 2nd battalion at 200 yards made 354, at 500 314, and at 600 271, being a total of 839, winning by eight points only. Ensign Starkie and Privates Moore and Smithers win tankards. WE hear that a fox-hunt has been established at Vienna, and fifty fox-hounds have been forwarded thither viO, Hull and Rotterdam." This is not the first time that that city has possessed a paok of English foxhounds, for in 1814 the late Marquis of Londonderry, then Lord Stewart, had a splendid pack. The hunt at that period was attended by the noble owner, the late Dake of Wellington, Eugene Beau- harnois, stepson to Napoleon I., the late Earl Bath- U« «? late Lard Radcliffe, the present Marquis or Anglesey, and Lord William Lennox. Upon one occasion the fox crossed the Danube near the Prater, and great was the surprise of the Austrians to see the last-mentioned noble lord dash into it and swim across it.

Boy Gored by a Cow.—The Edinburgh Courant has the following: Mrs. Arbuckle, wife of the fore- man at Bankton Mains, along with her daughter and son, the latter a fine boy 10 years of age, went into a field to remove a calf. They had got the animal into a wheelbarrow when the cow, excited by the inter- ference with her offspring, and probably also by the sight of a red shawl worn by Mrs. Arbuckle, attacked and knocked the latter down. The boy, in his anxiety to save his mother, bravely rushed in and endeavoured to beat off the cow, which turned upon him, caught him in the belly ca her horns and tossed him into a ditch, where he lay apparently dead. On assistance arriving, the boy was taken home, ana was found to be severely injured. Mrs. Arbuckle is not much hurt. Serious Charge against a Surgeon.On Friday, at the Police-court, Birmingham, alien Eliza- beth Owen, thirty-seven, herbalist, William Vernon Smith, fifty-four, surgeon, and William Bromfield, twenty-eight, clerk, were charged on remand with having conspired together and induced a married woman named Elizabeth Ellesmore to procure abor- tion. From the evidence given on the last occasion it may be remembered that Bromfield, who had been keeping company with Ellesmore-who had for several months separated from her husband—took her to the woman Owen in order that some medicines might be given her to procure an abortion. Owen's medicines failed, and Mr. Smith was then resorted to, a prema- ture delivery being followed by a narrow escape of Ellesmore from death. For the defence it was urg, d, on behalf of Smith that he knew nothing of the affair beyond being called in to treat the woman for typhoid symptoms. All the prisoners pleaded not guilty, and were committed for trial.

THE REFORM LEAGUE. The following address has been issued by the presi- dent to the members of the Reform League -.— "My Friends,—The vote of last Monday in the House of Commons bas cleared the political atmo- eyhere. The enemies and friends of all real Reform stead now in undisguised antagonism before the conntry. That vote has released you from the obliga- tion you had undertaken, in a spirit cf kindly and con- ciliatory compromise, to suspend for a time your advo- cacy of the complete enfranchisement of the working classes, and support the more limited measure of Par- liamentary Reform brought forward by the Govern- ment. That measure, moderate as it was, far as it fell short of the full and just rights of the people, has been pertinaciously obstructed night after night, and at length defeated, by a combination of treacherous Liberals vfifch the Tory Opposition. You gave your consent to support that measure in good faith; you gave it in order to disarm, if possible, the virulence of factions hostility to a Government which was honestly seeking to amend, though not to the extent yon desired, the representation of the people. You gave that consent, too, in order to show that the working classes were not the unreasoning and impracticable advocates of what had been, however erroneously, described as extreme and revolutionary projects; in order to show that you could respect even the pre- judices of honest opponents, and exercise the self- control of voluntarily abstaining from insisting upon your legitimate participation in the political privileges which are enjoyed by your brethren in the colonies, and to which the constitution of your own country, for- bidding any man to be taxed or legislated for against his own consent, entitles you. Yon gave, further, your consent to support the Government bill as an answer to the foul insults and calumnies poured forth against the working classes in that assembly, whose conduct during the late discussion has been, on many occa- sions, euoh as a. meeting of working man would have been ashamed to exhibit. All has been in vain. The attempt to extend the right of voting to only a small fraction of the millions still diafranchiaed has en. countered the most reckless hostility, has been met in a spirit of determined antagonism to any real ex- tension of the constituency; whilst at the same time artifice after artifice has been haJ recourse to, and at length successfully, to place the Government in a minority. The true and generous principles upon which Mr. Gladstone so nobly advocated the throw- ing open the portals of the constitution to fellow- Christians and fellow-men have been the subject only of jest and ridicule in the present Parliament. That Parliament must be altered if the people are not content to remain disfranchised. How is this to be accomplished ? What is to be done in the present crisis ? The answer seems to me to be plain and simple. There must go forth a resolute demand for a new and larger measure of Reform-a measure to be based upon some principle which shall, under present circumstances, gather together into one com- pact body the scattered forces of the great Liberal party. Is there anything which can form this bond of union ? It seems to me there is, and that it was fur- nished in the course of the late discussion in Parliament, furnished by the general admission that the principles upon which the Government measure was founded led necessarily, in their full application, to household, if not to manhood or universal, suffrage. Household suffrage was dis- tinctly advocated in that discussion by the present greatest and most undaunted champion of popular rights, Mr. Bright. It received the sanction of the Attorney-General as the especially constitutional franchise; it forms the essential portion of the pro- gramme of the National Reform Union; it is a link between London, Manchester, Birmingham, and Bristol, both as regards the great bulk of middle-class re- formers, and, probably, the majority of the work- ing classes; for it is notorious that many intelligent working men, whilst fully adhering, as do the members of the League, to the abstract justice of manhood suffrage, are not agreed as to its present practicability. Household suffrage, in combination especially with the lodger franchise is, in fact, practically and substantially all but equivalent to what the advocates of residential and registered manhood suffrage require. Here, then, as it seems toyme, the members of the League, whilst not abandoning in principle the full claim of the people to manhood suffrage, may cordially unite with all other real reformers in making the vote of last Monday the basis of an organisation that shall eventu- ally secure a true and solid representation of the people in the Parliament and Government of our country. The Times of to -day alleges that the Opposition cannot be charged with refusing to enfranchise working men, can- not be charged with the exclusion of a single ratepayer from the franchise, that they are ready to apply the principle and the privilege of scot and lot to the entire population of England. Let these allegations be at once put to the test, my friends. Let there go forth the resolute, unanimous demand for a new and larger Reform Bill, based upon the principles of the house- hold and lodger franchise. Let that be your answer to the vote of last Monday.—I am, yours most faith- fully. "EDMOND BEALES. "June 20." +— —

At the Middlesex Sessions, on Friday, the young man Finney, who was convicted, under circum- stances of a remarkable character, of stealing a silver spoon at a tavern in Covent-g srden, was sentenced to six months' hard labour. The prisoner seemed to feel his position most acutely, and altogether thd case is one of a very distressing character. The Duke of Edinburgh and his suite, and the noblemen and gentlemen who have assembled at Liverpool to do him honour, witnessed on Friday the great sailing-match of the Royal Mersey Yacht Club. His Royal Highness embarked on board the steamer Alert—a fine vessel, used by the Mersey Dock Board for official investigations—which was fitted up for the occasion. The ships in dock and in the river were all decorated with Sags, and the scene was one of the the gayest animation. The weather was beautifully fine. Funeral of the Earl of Rosslyn.-The remains of the late Earl of Rosslyn were on Friday interred in Roslin Chapel. In accordance with the expressed wish of the deceased earl the funeral was strictly private, only a few of the most intimate friends of the family being invited to be present. The grave was constructed in the north-east corner of the chapel, alongside the resting place of the late countess and the elder son of the late earl, who died in 1851, and at a little distance from the vault immortalised by Sir Walter Scott- There twenty of Roslin's barons bold, Lie buried within that proud chapelle." The inscription on the coffin-plate consisted simply of the words —" James Alexander St. Clair-Erskine, 3rd Earl of Rosslyn, born Feb. 15, 1802; died June 16, 1866." A letter from Roma of the 15th says" The suspicion with which prelates from Rome are looked on at Florence proved inconvenient to the Australian Archbishop of Sydney, Dr. Polding, who, returning hence to England, was arrested in that city last week on the very evening of his arrival from Rome, but liberated on the following morning. Archbishop Cullen has arrived here in time for the approaching Consistory, at which he is to be raised to the rank of cardinal. The Earl and Countess of Northesk, with their family and suite, left Rome on Monday for Florence and the north." Steam Shipbuilding on the Clyde.The Tyn- wald, paddle, recently built by Messrs. Caird & Co. for the Isle of Man and Liverpool Steam Packet Company, has made a run between the Isle of Man and Liverpool in 4 hours and 20 minutes. The distance is 70 miles. Messrs. M'Nab and Co., of Greenock, have launched a screw of the following dimensions :-Length, 155ft.; beam, 21ft.; and depth of hold, 12ft. Sin. She is to be propelled by a pair of direct acting engines of 50-horse power, which are already on board. The Tornado, screw, a sister vessel to the Pampero, has left the Clyde for Hamburg. Suspension of labour in the Clyde yards has, of course, checked the progress of ^he vessels on hand, and reduced during the last few cays the number of launches. Medical Officers in the Army.- There is reason to believe, says the Lancet, that the pressing necessities of the naval medical service will ensure the adoption of the reeommendations of the rank, pay, and promotion of the medical officers of the army and navy, so far as regards the navy. A to the army, we believe that the Horse Guards and Dr. Gibson in concert bave, as usual, declared against the interests of the medical officers, and are desirous to postpone the whole matter for a year. But it is not certain that the Marquis of Hartington, or General Pee!, if he should come into office, will consent to treat with con- tempt the recommendations of a committee of so J much official importance, and which was at so much trouble. j

TRIAL AND ACQUITTAL OF THE TWO MEN FOR SHOUTING AT A SOLDIER, At the commission of Oyer and terminer in Dublin, on Saturday, Patrick Kearney and Richard Dowling, alias Lalor, having been put forward, Dowling was in. dicted with having, on the 21st of April, discharged a loaded pistol at a soldier named James Meara, with intent to murder him. There was a seoond count in the indictment charging the prisoner with the intent to do Meara-I grievous bodily harm. Another count charged him with aiding and abetting Kearney. Patrick Kearney, whose name appeared in the same bill of indictment, was put back for the present. The princi- pal evidence was that of the soldier, James Meara, who said "I was in Exchange-court on the evening of the 21st of April. I met the prisoner on the quay at the Four Courts. I had met the prisoner before at Fenian meetings. I was a Fenian myself. I had always known the prisoner by the name of Lalor. I went with him to Hoey's public-house, at the corner of Bonham-street. He told me there would be some riflemen there. He asked me what I would drink, and I had some porter, for which he paid. I had some con- versation with the prisoner. I asked him about a man named Baines. Baines was a Fenian head-centre.' The prisoner went out on two occasions, and returned after a few seconds each time. The second time he came back he said it was time to be going. He went out as if to go out of the house through the glass door by the front door, and I was going out by the side door; and when I was in the act of opening the side door leading into Bonham-street I saw Kearney come through the glass door into the spirit shop. He made a circle as if he was going into the back yard, and he turned short and fired at me. I had just then turned my head sideways. I saw him firing the shot. He was then within a yard and a half of me. My back was to him, but I had my head turned. He had a pistol in his hand. When he fired the shot I made a jump to the glass door, and got out through it. The shot took effect in my left ear and wounded me. I got into the shop and made a rush out into the street, and, as I was getting out into the street, the prisoner Dowling, who was in the shop with his back to the counter, fired at me and wounded me in the two first fingers of the left hand. I got out into the street, and as I was getting out of the door several shots were tired-none of them took effect on me, but I heard a man who was in the shop cry out, Oh, my God." There was no person that I could see that could have fired that shot but Dowling. I saw the flash of the shot. It came from the direc- tion Dowling was in, but I saw no pistol with him. Kearney was in the rear at the time. There was another man whom I do not know waa in rear of me at the glass-door. After being fired at in the shop I got out into the street and ran up in the direction of Thomas- street, and several shots were fired in the direction I was going. One of the shots struck me in the thigh, and came out at the knee, and wounded me. I saw a man following in the street, firing crosswaya. I met a policeman in Thomas-street, and reported the circum- stance to him. He did not seem to believe me. I then went down to the detective-office and reported the cir- cumstances. All the witnesses for the prosecution having been examined, and the judge having charged the jury, Dowling was acquitted to the surprise of every one ia court.

OLD BUYS. A married old boy is a painful and humiliating ob- ject. He is often, without knowing it, affording as much amusement to his wife as to any one else, for as no man is a hero to his yoke-fellow, the effort of the old boy to figure killingly in strange eyes must strike those of his lawful spouse as singularly ridiculous and ineffectual. Old boys are the last to comprehend this; they are not aware of the hopeless, dreary con- tempt which women entertain for the husbands who prove false to their love, or their ambition, and how quietly they can enjoy the dishonest airs and grimaces which the elderly fool puts on for others in their pre- sence. Often, too, when matters grow notorious, the slighted lady has consolations of which the world and the old boy are ignorant. What does she lose in him? We have nothing in our social state so contemptible as the married old boy. He is so utterly, and so irritatingly at variance with Gur notions of what an old man ought to be, that if we were not accustomed to the character, we should regard it as positively monstrous. The horrible anecdotes one of those dotards will tell you after dinner or in the smoking-room will disgust you more with humanity than if you rose fresh from reading an account of Swift's Yahoos. When he has grown sons or daughters he is, if possible, more revolting. Before them we will not conceive him offensive, but we have seen a married old boy positively order his eldest son out of the way while he sat mumbling before a young girl, and picking out doating compliments, which, it may be remarked, are current coin with old boys. To note those fine fellows doddering about the freshest flowers in a ballroom is an amusement calculated to try the temper. We are not to be misunderstood, there are old gentlemen with wives and without, with whom the spark of real chivalry is quick, and who are ready to fetch, to carry, to run, or to bow, with a faithful and touching deference, which may fairly challenge the youngest squire of dames to a rivalry at least for a place in a lady's good graces. In them we read a lesson which our generation might profit by; in the others we read a lesson too, but it is a lesson like that which the Greek child learned when the Helot was made to illustrate the warning addressed to him. To be an old boy is really an awful fate. The very name implies an un- natural conjunction, to be old without the wisdom of age, and young without the attractions of youth. There is a weird story repeated by Addison from Plato. Accounting for ghosts appearing in church- yards, the Spectator used a supposition of the pbilo. sopher's, who conceived that those who died with fierce and unsubdued desires, when freed from the body, were punished by a perpetual longing, and an utter impotence to repeat their pleasures. In the miserable effort to possess the body they haunted the urns and graves. We can hardly imagine a more dreadful torture than this, and it fifeema to have been specially invented for the punishment of old boys. We may take it for granted that the condition of old boyhood is the sequel of a misspent manhood. Earnest workers or thinkers become quiet family men, who wait calmly until the scene closes on them. And even amongst those who are of the bachelor persuasion, there are not a few honest trumps who never exhibit old boyism. Old boys are mostly shallow-pated, to add to their other charms. They never care for music or painting, although they may pretend to go into ec- stacies over Faust or My Second Sermon." Books delight them not, but they depasture on newspapers and club gossip. It is they who mostly buy those evil pictures which are advertised, we regret to write it, in English journals. Old boys slink into "Finishes," and patronise Cyder Cellars. They take private boxes for ballet performances. They hear the chimes at mid- night. It is for them chiefly that loose songs are com- posed. They are an ungenial, selfish, disreputable race, and the women should set their faces against them. They ought to know that an old boy seldom marries, and that if he does, and retains his old boyism, they are in for a wretcnea existence. To those who are ready to accept any old boy with money, we have nothing to say; and to those who permit the innocent attentions of sucn a juvenile with a view to making him pay for them, we need only say that their taste, Dot 10 mention self-respect, is ques- tionable. But ladies ought to give the old boy the cold shoulder. He assumes tneir tolerance as a licence, and basks in it. For his own sake he ought to be stirred up and sent on. ^He ia living in a day- dream, to which a sorry awakening is in store for him. If a lady wants to rid herself of an old boy, let her ever so slightly press the corn of lug ag0j an(j the thing is done. Let her speak at the top of her voice to him, as if he were deaf, beg of him to rest frequently when ascending a hill, of bira to sit out of the draught between the key-hole and the fireplace, inquire after his cough, or exercise any other cruel kindness, and the old boy will disappear. We present our fair readers with those Simple recipes, but would not limit their ingenuity to them.-London Review.

The Princess Dagmar was betrothed to the Czarewitch on the 22nd inst. Threat to Assassinate Count Bismarck.— At the Brighton Police. court, on Wednesday, Wilhelm Goergs, a young mun of 28, who has for some time resided at onghton, and practised as a teacher of music, was brought up on warrant, charged with sending a letter to Count von Bismarck, the Prussian prime minister, containing a threat to kill him. The prisoner, who did not deny the charge, was committed for trial to the next borough quarter sessions. He was, however, admitted to bail on his own recognisance in J500 and two sureties in X250 each.

FACTS AND FACETIAE. Song of the (Buttonless) Shirt. We extract the following parody of Hood's cele- brated song from a little monthly publication called the Aldgate Magazine. On nightshirt holey and worn, On a c mfortless lonely bed, I A bachelor sat in bachelor rags, Plying his needle and thread- Stitch, stitch, stitch— Surly, and cross, and pert; He sang in a voice of dolorous pit an This Song of the Buttonless Shirt." Work, work, work, Till my brain begins to swim; Work, work, work, Till my eyes are heavy and dim Yet underneath my clothes, So lightly the buttons cling, » That I fear to take a sudden jump, And I dare not take a spring. Oh, men with sisters dear! h Oh, men with mothers and wives! If buttons fall off, and shirts wear out, Ij They replace them with their fives." Stitch, stitch, stitch, Surly, and cross, and pert, L Gobbling" away with a double thread, A fine-drawn front to a shirt. But why do I talk of fronts, A thing that we never wear ? ji I hardly know its curious shape, With its four thin arms so bare! With its four thin arms so bare! i; I mean the strings that would always break, Or if not break, would tear. Stitch, stitch, stitch, It is the fate of wags, And what are their wages ? a hole-y shirt- A puckered front-and rags. That cottonless reel, and this headless pin, Of scissors, a broken pair; A pincushion blank, that my stars I thank, If ever a pin is there! Work, work, work, While the solemn church-bells chime; Work, work, work, I am adding crime to crime. I hem, I fell, [ run, I run, I fell, I hem Till my fingers are pricked, and my needle breaks, And I throw it do wn with a Dam 1 Oh, but to breath the breath Of "freedom from needles" sweet- With a mended nightcap on my head, And hsleless socks on my feet! For only one short hour, To feel as I used to feel, Before I know the woes of want, And saw the hole in my heel! Oh, but for one brief hour, A respite, however sbort- When I watched my ma as she darned my hose, And mended what she had bought. A helping hand would ease my heaxt, But in my aching head, My hopes must lie, for each big sigh, Hinders my needle and thread. With fingers weary and worn, With eyelids heavy and red, A bachelor sat in bachelor rags, Plying his needle and thread. Stitch, stitch, stitch, Surly, and cross, and pert, He sang in a voice of dolorous pitch (So gloomy and glumpy, you never heard sich) This "Song of the Buttonlesa Shirt." How many peas are there in a pint r-One p. When gamblers marry, they rarely announce no cards." Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. A fine coat may cover a fool, but never oonoeals one. When did the greatest rise in milk take place? When the cow jumped over the moon. Stuff and Nonsense.—Cracking jokes while you are eating your dinner. If a family quite fill the carriage, why are they not to be trusted ? Do you give it up, Sambo ?" Well, massa, I Vpects it is beooa dey's got de seat full (deceitful). Yah! ya.h!" A lady in London recently called at the sbep of a maker of chimney ventilators to see if he had any con. trivance which would make her husband stop smoking. "Dear Laura, when we were courting, you were very dear to me; but now you're my wife, and I'm paying your bills, you seem to get dearer and dearer." A correspondent entered an office, and accused the compositor of not having punctuated his communi- cation, when the typo earnestly replied-" I'm not a pointer, I'm a setter." It was once observed to Lord Palmerston that a certain M.P., always in debt, intended to bring in a, bill. "Let him," cried the Premier; "but it would do him more credit, and prove more satisfactory to certain parties, if he were to take up one." Turning the Tables. — In an Auckland (New Zealand) paper, a girl advertises for a situation to take charge of a laundry or dairy. She can cook, and understands housekeeping, and adds, "None but a respectable mistress, who wishes to leave her servant in uninterrupted discharge of her duties, need apply." What a competition there must be among the mis- tresses for the model servant! Definition of a Blush.—A writer gives the fol- lowing clear and concise explanation of a lady's blush; The mind communicates with the centre ganglion the latter, by influx action through the brain and facial nerve, with the organic nerves in the face, with which its branches inosculate." A country paper once said that E. DooliitJe is in the habit of stealing pigs and robbing hen-roosts. If he does not desist, we will publish his name." This is equal to the minister at a camp-meeting, who said, If the lady with the blue hat, red hair, and cross eyes, doesn t stop talking, she will be pointed out to the congregation." Marriage. Mr. Quibble, reading that it has been decided in the Court of Queen's Bench, in Dablin, that a clergyman of the Church of England can legally marry himself," observed that that might be very well as a measure of economy, but that even in the hardest times he should prefer to marry a womrr. A New Wor d-]Fost- voice.- In times not long past, or, rather, only passing, a detailed account of ? contained in bales and boxes waa inclosed and called an invoice. Since the introduction of the penny post such documents have accompanied the advice of despatch, or way-bill, and in some counting-tenses of repute has been named post-voice." Robbing a Church.—During Saturday night some thieves broke into the church of St. Matthew, Leeds. The thieves drank a bottle of wine, and placed the empty bottle on the cushion of the pulpit, on each side of which they hung a surplice or clerical gown upon a gas pillar, the glass globe of which they broke. Many of the contents of the vestry and other parts of the church were strewn about, and a piece of p&per was left behind, with the following words upon it — "Dear sir, we are sorry W8 cannot find your plate." A gentleman of the Stock Exchange, who recently gained heavily by a rise in the funds, invited all who had the misfortune to lose to dinner. The piece de resistance of the dessert represented a bull devouring twelve bears. It was made of pound cake. One of the bears was so indignant that (with a courage wSiefa was terrible to behold) he took up a knife and cut off the bull's head, leaving the room instantly, and the giver of the fete, pale and trembling, apologised to the other bears, feeling after all, what is one bull in the bfmds of a dozen bears of society, if not of the Bourse ?

HIlTS UPON GARDENING. We extract the following useful hints from the Yield:- WORK FOR THE WEEK.-Seedpods and faded blooms should be removed from azaleas, and the plants induced to make their growth freely. Plants requiring more pot room should be shifted at once. Young plants of azaleas that it is desirable to make into specimens quickly may be grown with advantage in a warm close house near the glass; what is called an intermediate house-i.e., between stove and green- house-will suit them to a T." The cold frames are now relieved of the bedding plants, &c., and instead ,of being allowed to remain empty, as they generally are, they should be utilised for the supply of the con- servatory in autumn, by growing in them shrubby calceolarias, balsams, &c., and also the younger green- house plants, which are very fond of such a position. They may also, in some cases, be cleared out at once, and planted with melons and cucumbers. Large speci- mens of the hardier kinds of greenhouse plants may now be placed in a sheltered position out of doors. Keep a sharp lookout for red epidar in the houses, and counteract it as much as possible by copious ay ringings, as this minute pest is almost certain to destroy the health and beauty of everything it is allowed to multiply on. Whenever you see the leaves assume a rusty yellowish tinge, it is likely to be found in abundance. Finish mulching strawberries, if not already done. Late vineries should have a little fire heat in chilly weather. Good kinds of cine- rarias that it may be desirable to increase are now, as a rule, gone out of flower, and the best way to get a healthful stock from them is to cut down the old plants and plant them in a shady position on the north side of a wall or hedge, and in fine earth, which should be worked around and a little over their crowns. It will not be long ere they grow up healthy suckers, which should be quite removed from the old plant, and allowed to make a fresh start in small pots on their own account. It IS a good time to sow a well selected strain of cineraria seed, and it is pretty well known to growers of this popular flower that kinds as fine as any of the named ones may be raised from a packet of good seed. Pegging down verbenas and other bedding plants must now be attended to. Common hair pins are use- ful and lasting, and may be bought very cheap by the gross, and pegs may be made from old birch. brooms, &Q-, if a stock has not been prepared in the in winter. Celery and lettuce planting, pea. sowing, using for the future the earlier kinds, the thinning out of the now fast-growing garden crops, the planting of winter greens, sowing of cole worts, and like work must now be attended to. Garden Vermin; Snails, woodlice, and ants are destructive marau- ders in a garden: the last is rather troublesome than destructive, though they destroy sometimes-as, for example, when they construot a nest in a seed-bed and bury the young plants in mounds of fine earth; or when they take possession of a frame in which a number of cuttings have been bedded out. Three years ago we lost four. fifths of a batch of rose cuttings by the mining operations of a colony of ants. The batch 'consisted of about 3,000 cuttings, and the operations of the ants commenced just when the roses were forming their first roots, and when we were beginning to leave them to take care of themselves, having removed the lights to expose them to the showers. Let us consider the snails and woodlice first, and add as a makeweight earwigs. The grand preventive of all these is active tillage of the ground. Neglect of any kind is favourable to their increase. They are sure to multiply where there are heaps of rubbish, rank crops of weeds, fences, unclippad, and dirty holes and corners. The frequent use of the hoe, the immediate clearing off of crops that have had their day -—whether vegetablesor flowers—andthe manuring and planting of the ground with successions, will do wonders to check the depredationsof vermin. Every disturbance of the soil exposes them and their eggs and young to influences detrimental to their increase, not the least 1 among these being the keen eyes of birds, kept vigilant I by the calls of hunger. Frequent dressing of the Bur- face soil with lime and soot will do wonders, both to kill the vermin and promote a healthy vegetation. We do indeed see lime used so freely sometimes that it must kill the plants as well as the snails; but we do not advise the wasteful and deetructive use of so powerful an agent. A, sprinkling which cuffices to make a barely perceptible grey coating on the soil is as effectual as a. heavy dressing, and the repetition of the thin dressing will in time bring the whole piece into so clean a state that vermin will be virtually un- known. We come next to consider special means of eradica- tion, and these are many. Trapping should be fol- lowed up in a systematic manner wherever vermin abound. Small heaps of brewers' grains will draw snails together in a most convenient way for killing thtsm. Lettuce leaves placed under empty flower-pots will collect the woodlice in dozens or hundreds, and while they can get lettuce they will not care to eat any- thing else. Slices of potato, carrot, and apple are also good baits. Moreover, any dry and dark hiding places soon get filled with woodlice, and a dose of boiling water poured into such decs daily, without dis- turbing the materials of which the dens consist, will clear them off wholesale. The writer of this has waged war in all sorts of ways with these plagues for many years, having valuable collections of plants in a garden which is surrounded with breeding grounds for all sorts of vermin. Among other methods adopted, one is to put a few empty pots one inside the other, in cucumber frames, and every morning to pour boiling water into them. The water soaks into the bed, and does no harm if near the woodwork, and when the pots are shaken asunder dozens of dead woodlice are found. But another and more systematic plan is adopted, and having proved eminently success. ful, we advise any of our readers who are situated as we are to proceed as follows: Procure a portable copper—that is to say, one of those "iron coppers" which are made for boiling water in the open air for tea parties, and which are often used in oul houses by laundresses. Londoners can find such in Barbican and old Old-street, and the prices range from thirty shillings to three or four pounds each. Suppose a border in which asters, stocks, phloxes, and pentate- mons are planted, and in the rear of the border an old privet hedge out of which the vermin issue in swarms. Such, indeed, ia the nature of our border on which the operation is conducted. In the front of this border a number of small flower-pots are plunged to the rim. Every evening these pots are filled with lettuce leaves, pea-shells, slices of cucumber, or what. ever tempting stuffis at hand. The pots are then covered with cabbage leaves or tufts of moss, with, in short, anything through which woodlice can push or a snail eat its way. Every morning a fire is lighted with garden rubbish, such as debris of woodstaok, &c., and a few gallons of water are obtained boiling hot. A dose of this is poured from a water-pot into each of the traps. In the evening the traps are cleared out and filled again, and so on for ever. Thiri appears a tedious process, but without it we should have to relinquish horticulture under our pre- sent circumstances. Now for the ants. If their nests are so situated that boiling water can be administered, why the remedy is easy enough. It is very seldom, however, that this can be done, for, in the first place, the water cannot be obtained, or the nests are in places where the destruction of vegetation by the process could not be borne. It is not generally known that fresh Peruvian guano will drive ants from any spot, however firm a hold they may have obtained upon it. Suppose a colony of ants to be commencing operations on a lawn, it is an easy matter to trap them all by placing a large empty flower-pot, with the hole stopped, over it. The ants will build up into the pot, and in a short time it may be lifted with a shovel and be carried away, and dropped into a vessel of water, which will make an end of it. When they make a run up the stem of a fruit tree, a line of gas tar all round will put a stop to their progress and do no harm to the tree. To poison them mix arsenic with sugar and water, put the mixture in a saucer and lay a slate over it, and on the slate a stone. This, of course, is a dangerous plan, and any who think of adopting it must use their own judgment as to the safety of any larger ani- mals.- Gardener's Magazine.