The Brecon Reporter and South Wales General Advertiser

HINTS UPON GAJELDjSIMIISrG. The following useful hints upon gardening are ex- tracted from the last number of the Field:- Work for the Week. The gathering of the strawberries and peas, and other garden crops now coming in in abundance, will probably constitute the chief work in gardens at pre- sent; the harvest of the garden has, ia fact, begun, and, as that department of horticulture is sufficiently understood we need not enter into it. It is not with- out reason our correspondents write to inquire as to the best modes of destroying vermin, for the plants and garden crops have of late been consumed to an alarming degree. We lately called on a friend very fond of gardening, who disposes of immense numbers of snails and slugs by going out at night when they are at \?ork, and handpicking and walking on the pests. He finds that their continual destruction makes a greater difference to his crops than could be suspected. Some beds of gentians and rare alpine plants never appeared to move until the beds were cleared of the snails and slugs at night. Where much damage is done it would be a good plan to send a man round at night with a lantern, with directions to pick up in a pot and afterwards destroy all to be seen. # Even by walking near clumps of ivy, &c., where their haunts are, many may be killed at night, for they crawl forth in great numbers on warm and moist evenings. Among other things that may be gathered in the garden at present are the pods of the new radish, the new and delicious vegetable.' Wa have tasted them in several stages and in variety, and find the pods too much like the stringy stem of a cruciferous plant to be admired as a salad. Indeed, it occurred to us, when endeavouring to masticate them, that fibre for manu- facturing purposes was much more likely to be found in them than anything delicious in the way of salading. As we have already said, when there were inquiries about the plant from its being freely advertised, it may prove a good salad in hot countries, where our numerous and crisp sala-dings cannot be grown; but 1 in this country the pods are not likely to equal in value those of the common radish, whioh, though small, are, when young, of excellent flavour, and are very good when pickled. Strawberries on poor and dry soils will be greatly benefited by good waterings during this dry weather • they should be given at once, so that the swelling frtS may benefit thereby This is the time to immediately secure runners of all the kinds of strawberry that we wish to increase, and also to pot the runners for forcing next season. For all who relish a good forced strawberry this is an important point, and early strawberries may be eujoyed of flavour and size as good as any out of doors, if we can spare them a shelf or shelves near the glass in an early vinery, or other not over-warm forcing house, where they may have plenty of air and light, if a special structure has not been made for their accommodation. The thing to do now ig to secure the earliest and best runners of the kind it is intended to force, and to peg or lav them in small pots-he size known as 60's— which must be placed- on the bed a that the runners may root before they are severed from the parent plant. When well rooted into those small pots they should be taken away and repotted into their fruiting pots—generally the size known as 32's-in which they make fine crowns, fit to produce abundance of fruit when placed under glass next spring. Some fill the fruiting pots at once and place them in the beds, and this, too, is a good and simple plan. The soil should be rammed firm, leaving, however, space for water to be given. Pota that are filled too full of soil often come to grief for want of water, because the space is so shallow that three or four waterings are required to be poured on before the plant is sufficiently watered. For pots such as fruiting strawberries are grown in, there should be, after the soil is well rammed down and settled, nearly half an inch of the rim of the pot visible above the compost. But the soil should be very firm, more so than it is easy to make it with the hand, and therefore a wooden stick about a foot long and with a blunt end should be used for ramming, if the plants are potted from the small-sized pots into their fruiting ones; but in case of filling the fruiting pots at once, the bottom of a small pot may be used for pressing down the compost. Unless the conservatory or blooming-house is well shaded and moistened, and kept cool during hot weather for many weeks to come, there will be little luxury in its possession. Carnations, cloves, and picotees should be propagated at once, either by layers, which is the surest way, or by pipings, whioh is the simplest and most expeditious. The pipings should be placed under a handlight, on a spent hot- bad if there is one at hand, and shaded during bright weather. Cucumbers and melons should be frequently gone over and carefully pinched and thinned out, to prevent their becoming a confused mass. Late grapes should be watched aud thinned before they get too large, as it sadly mutilates the bunch and does little good to the remaining berries to leave that operation till the fruit is nearly or quite half-grown.

SPORTS AND PASTIMES. -+- AT present the red deer in Glenmore forest are in first-rate condition, some of the stags having already horns upon which may be seen as many as eight antlers. Not long ago Mr. Gordon, gamekeeper there, found an excellent stag drowned, but in good preser- vation, in a small chasm in which there was some water. It appears that stags often fight with one another with the fore feet, standing almost erect upon their hind legs, and in such an encounter was this one most probably playing his part, being pressed back- ward by his stronger opponent when he fell upon his back into the hole where he was found, close by the side of the streamlet that runs into Lochmorlich. THE speculative and in some instances very lucra- tive occupation of pearl fishing is now vigorously car- ried on by large numbers on the rivers Forth and Teith. The fishing season is at present at its height, and we understand several persons have been very successful on the Forth in the immediate neighbour- hood of Stirling. Some of the pearls are of a good size, very lustrous, remarkably well-shaped, and of eourse vary in value accordingly. Of a portion of them it may be said that they are equal in quality to the oriental pearl. Scotch pearls are very much thought of by our aristocracy, and when of good quality are readily purchased in the London market, where the best price is given. THE Queen's Cap, value Y,100, was competed for by the Mersey Yacht Club last week. The Fiona was first, and Mr. Kennard's Christabel was second. Mr. Kennard protested against the cup being given to Mr. Boucher, the owner of the Fiona, on account of the Fiona's flag being a little smaller than that re- quired by a regulation of the club. The result was that the Christabel obtained the cup. Subsequently a demand was made by the owner of the Fiona for the flag of the Christabel to be measured, and on this being done her flag was shown to be two inches less than the size required by the regulations. It is supposed that the disputed prize will now be claimed by the owner of the Mosquito, the yacht which came in third. ON Saturday a grand field day and sham fight, in which the Volunteers-Rifle and Artillery-of Kent, and the Royal Horse Artillery, Royal Marines, &a., were engaged, took place on Piumstead Common, Woolwioh. Viscount Sidney, the Lord-Lieutenant of the County, his Royal Highness Prince Arthur, and many thousands of spectators were present. Before the review, prizes for rifle shooting were distributed by the Lord-Lieutenant to the successful competitors of the various Kentish battalions. It was not until about half-past four that the review com- menced, although the troops were in their places son after three o'clock. The volunteer corps were formed up in contiguous quarter distance columns facing to the west; the battalions of the Royal Marines Light In. fantry in battalion quarter distance columns on the right; two battalions of Royal Horse artillery on the right at close intervals; two batteries of 40-pounders on the left of the line at half intervals; and the cavalry on the left of the volunteers. In this order, the force awaited the arrival of the lord-lieutenant, major- general commanding, and staff. The troops on the ground consisted of the C Brigade of Royal Horse Artillery, 201; the 5th Brigade of Royal Horse Artillery, 156; the DepSt Brigade of Royal Horse Artillery, 227; Royal Marines Battalion, 617; 1st Kent Volunteer Artillery, 576; 10th and 14th Kent Volunteer Artillery, 318; the 1st Administrative Bat- talion of Kent Rifles, 415; the 2nd and 5th Kent Battalion, 480; 3rd Kent. 586; the 21st Kent (Royal Arsenal), 315; and 26th Kent, 430. Total volunteers, 3,120; total regulars, Royal Artillery and Marines, 1,2*53; total in action, 4,383 men, and 566 horses; keeping the ground, Artillery and Marines, 1,914— grand total, 6,297. After the marching past, which was done in so admirable a manner as to elicit considerable applause, the field-day evolutions commenced. The volunteers were separated into two brigades. 1st Brigade—Colonel Thorold, let Kent Battalion, commanding, Captain Brown, Royal Artil- lery, Major of Brigade, aide-de-camp—consisted of 1st Administrative Battalion of Kent Rifles, under com- mand of Lieutenant-Colonel Farnall, 1st Administra- tive Battalion of Kent Artillery, 10th and 14th Kent Artillery, and 5th Kent Rifles; 2nd Brigade—under command of Lieut.-Calomel Viscount Hardinge, Major H. E. Hickes, R.A., Major of Brigade, aide-de-camp— corps, 2nd and 3rd Administrative Battalions, and 21st and 26th Kent Rifles. The regular troops were also composed of two divisions 1st Dmeion, under com- mand of Colonel W. B. Gardner, R.A., consisting of 1st Battery Royal Horse Artillery, one battery 40- pounders, 2nd Brigade of Light Infantry, Royal Marines Light Infantry in reserve. The 2nd Division was under the command of Colonel E. W odehouse, C.B., and comprised one battery Royal Horse Artil- lery, one battery 9-pounders, one battery 40-pounders, detachment of cavalry, and 1st brigade of infantry. The evolutions and sham fight were witnessed with great interest by the people assembled, and the volun- teers were loudly praised for the steadiness with which they went through their work.

An Unrecorded Curiosity of London.—The great pillar of the Stock Exchange is Baron Roths- child and yet, strange to say, this pillar is all capital. Singular Action.—On Saturday on action was brought in the Court of Common Pieas by a publican of Tottenham, named Palmer, to recover from Captain Trotter < £ 40 damages in connection with the grazing of two colts, in a park of the latter, near Barnet. The colts were sent to the park, the plaintiff paying 2s. 6d. per week for their grazing; but after some months they were taken ill, and subsequently died in conse- quence, the plaintiff alleged, of not having' sufficient herbage, and feeding on yew, laurel, and other leaves. i"ie jury returned a verdict for the defendant.

MURDER OF TWO CHILDREN AND SUICIDE OF THE MURDERER. On Saturday night, a. horrid tragedy took place at Lee Bank, Halifax. A carpet weaver named Ephraim Smith, about 40 years of age, murdered two of his children and then cut his own throat. The youngest child, named Emma, five years of age, appears to have been suffocated in bed. The next child, aged ten years, and called Elizabeth, had her throat cut. After which the father must have cut his own throat. AU were quite dead when found. The family occupied a single room, being the top of a threa- storey baildidg-a room sometime since used as a Wesleyan Sunday-school—access to it being obtained from Old Bank, in Lee Bank. The family consisted of the father, a weaver at Messrs. Crossley and Sons, carpet manufacturers. His wife is an inmate of the Wake- field Lunatic Asylum, where she has been two years. There were three children—namely, Emma (aged five years), Elizabeth (tan years), and William (thirteen). The boy William had been to Halifax fair, and did not return heme until eleven o'clock at night. He was surprised to find the house door fastened, and knocked frequently for admission. As no response was given, he threw open a window, put his arm through, un- latched the door, and entered, and was horrified to find hia sister Elizabeth behind the door, and appa- rently dead. There was no light in the house, and he ran out and gave an alarm. Two men, named Broadbent and Walton, the latter an ex-policeman, entered with a candle, and the full horror then burst upon them. The father was seated upon the floor, with his back against the wall, under the front window, hia head almost severed from his body. Around him was a pool of blood, and upon the floor, at the distance from him of about half a yard, was an open razor besmeared with blood. Behind the door was lying the girl Elizabeth on her right side, also in a pool of blood, her neck and throat having been cut on the right side. She probably struggled hard, for the knuckle of the third finger on the left hand has an incised wound. She was naked, except a chemise upon her. The child Emma, was found dead upon the bed, with her face downward. She was dressed. There was no blood about her, nor marks of violence. The opinion of those who found her was that she ha.d been smothered by the bed-clothes. One neighbour only appears to have heard any noise in the hause, and he did Dot imagine that murder was being committed. That was about ten o'clock. The father has been known as a steady man, his general conduct being such as to cause the greatest surprise that he should have been guilty of murder.

A PROSPEROUS MAN AND HIS FANCIED POVERTY. In the London Court of Probate, the case Hill v. Hughes was decided on Saturday. This was a suit to establish the wilt of Richard Hughes, a hairdresser, at Manchester, who committed suicide on the 12th of October, 1865. He had made a will in 1856, and to that he added a codicil in 1863. The will and codicil were then delivered to his banker for safe custody, but were returned to him at his request upon the 14th of September, 1865. At that time and until his death he was of unsound mind, being under the impression that he was a ruined man, when, in fact, his business was in the same state that it had been for some time previously, and he was worth about < £ 8,000. This fact was proved to him from his books by an accountant employed to look into his affairs, but he would not understand the truth, and while still labouring under the delusion as to poverty, he out his throat and then threw himself into the river. The will, which was known to be in his possession on the 14th of September, could not be found after his death, and the presumption was that he had destroyed it while of unsound mind, in which case the draft of the will would be admitted to pro- bate. The defendant admitted the unsoundness of mind, but pleaded that the evidence was not sufficient to show that the will was destroyed after the commence- ment of the mental illusion. Dr. Spinks appeared for the plaintiff, and the Queen's Advocate and Mr. Thomas Jones for the de- fendant. The jury found that the will was in existence on the 14th of September, after which date the insanity was proved. The court, therefore, declared in favour of the validity of the will, with costs out of the estate.

THE MURDER NEAR GATESHEAD. On Friday, Cuthbert Roddam Carr, the man in custody charged, upon his own confession, with hav- ing murdered Sarah Melvin, a girl seven years of age, at Carr's Hill, near Gateshead, on the 13th of April last, was brought before the borough magistrates. The deceased, it will be remembered, was found dead on a road leading from Filling to Sheriff-hill, whither her parents had gone the same day. At that time the father and mother were suspected of having murdered their child, and were taken into custody, but after an ex- amination before the magistrates were released. Mr. Elliott, the chief constable, having briefly stated the case, informed the bench that on Wednesday night the prisoner came to the police-station, and told the offi. cer in charge that he wanted to make a statement in reference to the Carr's Hill murder. He (the chief constable) waa sent for, and on going to the station cautioned the prisoner as to what he was about to say, and then wrote down the account of the tragedy. According to this statement (whioh was then read), the prisoner at about half-past six o'clock in the even- ing saw the little girl going up the road whioh her father and mother had just passed up. He went after her, took hold of her hand, and then carried her to an adjoining stable, where he choked her with his hands. He then got a clothes-line, and tied it tightly round her neck, having first split the cord into two pieces. With the other piece he tied the girl's hands, though she was quite dead at the time. He next laid himself upon her, having previously mutilated her; and after concealing the body under the straw, watched for an opportunity to remove it. For about two hours he watched people passing, and at length went back to the stable, took her in his arms, and in sight of several persons laid the mutilated corpse upon the road, where it was afterwards found. The chief constable applied that the case might be remanded in order to bring forward various witnesses, whose statements would in some degree corroborate that of the prisoner. The application was granted. Carr is a young man, tall, and thinly made, and evidently of weak intelleot.

THE DOG AND HER PUPPIES-DIB PUTED POSSESSION. The cause of Shaw v. Hill was tried in the Court of Common Pleas on Saturday. The plaintiff was a working man, and the defendant was a publican, keep- ing the Mason's Arms, Battersea-park. The action was to recover possession of a bull terrier bitch and and her puppies, and also damages for false imprison- ment. The plaintiff's case was that he had lost the bitch, and that he afterwards found it in the possession of the defendant's potman; and it seemed that the animal had already been the cause of considerable litigation, that the potman and the plaintiff had been given into custody in reference to it, and there had been two summonses granted by Mr. Dayman. When the plaintiff found the bitch with the potman he claimed it, but the potman put the dog in a fighting attitude, and, patting its sides, said, It is yours; then take it." The plaintiff, how- ever, was not dismayed, but went up to the dog, which instantly recognised him, and the surrounding dog fanciers said, There is no mistake, it's his dog." Mr. Justice Byles A second judgment of Solomon (laughter). Mr. Atkinson: Except that the dog was not divided, but it seemed that the puppies were, for Mr. Dayman made an order that the bitch should be given up in six weeks after pupping, and the youag ones were to be shared between the plaintiff and Finch, the defend- ant's barman (increased laughter). The defence was, that it was not the defendant, but Finch who had possession of the dogs. The jury stopped the case, expressing an opinion that the action was one that should never have bean brought, and that it had been brought against the wrong person.

Daring the past week 26 wrecks have been re- ported, making for the present year a total of 1,108. An Americlln writer announces the "reconstruction" of the Union in these terms :—" Gentle Hymen follows closely upon the heels of grim-visaged Mars, and the soft breathings of epithalamic melody succeed to the fierce and dissonant clangour of the war trumpet." He thought this was the best way of Baying that, the war being ended, many marriages were being made.

LOVERS' QUARRELS. Matilda Naylor, a pretty, fair-haired girl, with great simplicity of manners, was brought before Mr. Paget, at the Thames-street Police-court, on Tuesday, charged with attempting to commit suicide in the waters of the Regent's Canal at Limehouse. A police. constable of the K division stated that he was on duty at the top of Salmon's-lane last night, and heard that a female had plunged into the canal from the bridge. He found the prisoner on the bank. She had just been taken out of the water, and was nearly insensible. She said she had been quarrelling with her young man, and that caused her to make the rash attempt on her life. Mr. Paget asked the prisoner if she had anything to say, and she replied in a simple and artless manner, I quarrelled with the young man I have been keeping company with." Mr. Paget: And that caused you to commit this wicked act ? The prisoner Yes, sir. John Wallace, a youth, said he had been keeping company with the prisoner for three months. He left her at the corner of the Dog-row, Mile-end, last night at a quarter past ten o'clock. They had some words, and she would not let him see her home, and said she could go home by herself. The mother of the prisoner was desired to enter the witness-box, and she said, "I know nothing about it at all. My daughter left home very comfortably yesterday afternoon, at half-past two o'clock." Mr. Paget remanded the prisoner for a week to the Clerkenwell House of Detention, where she would have the benefit of the spiritual advice and consolation of the worthy chaplain. Mr. Paget at the same time directed the mother of the girl to attend the court when her daughter was again brought up. The mother: Please, air, can I see my daughter? Let me see her. Mr. Paget: Yes, you can see her. Speak to the gaoler. The prisoner was removed from the court crying for her mother, with whom Roche, the gaoler, soon arranged an interview.

BREACH OF PROMISE OF MARRIAGE. In the Court of Common Pleas the case of Kemp v. Harris was concluded on Wednesday. The defendant, a Jew, had kept the King and Queen public-house, Newington-butts, and the plaintiff was barmaid there during his occupancy. Her case was not only that the defendant had promised her marriage, but that he had after the promise seduced her. Since then the defen- dant had married a Miss Hart, who was now his wife. Mr. Digby Seymour and Mr. T. Salter appeared for the plaintiff; and Mr. D. Keane, Q.C., and Mr. F. Turner for the defendant. Mr. Keane summed up the evidence which had been given on the part of the defendant, and contended that the evidence given would not warrant the jury in finding that there had been any promise to marry made; but in the event of the jury being against him upon that point, he urged upon them that the case was one in which small damages only would be con- sistent with justice. According to the plaintiff's own case she had lost only a worthless man, certainly a poor one, and one whom his own father considered to be a fast young man. Mr. D. Seymour wished it to be borne in mind that the defendant's counsel, who had begun by defaming the character of the plaintiff, had ended by doing what he could to destroy that of his own client. The plain facts were that three witnesses had spoken distinctly to references to a promise to marry by the defendant, whilst on the other hand there was nothing but certain circumstances from which the jury were asked to infer that there had been no promise. He had no doubt the jury would believe the positive state- ments rather than rely upon the suggested inferences; and especially so as when the defendant was written to by Mr. Endean and charged with breaking his promise, also with seduction, he simply acknowledged the receipt of the letter, and in no way denied what was charged against him. Taking the promise to have been established, he urged upon the jury that the plaintiff had established her right to substantial damages for the wrong which had been done her. Mr. Justice Byles, in summing up, said that some questions had been put in cross-examination reflecting upon the plaintiff which in his opinion ought not to have been put, because the plaintiff could not by law be called to contradict the aspersions cast upon her; and other evidence had been offered which not only was inadmissible, but the very tender of it was likely seriously to prejudice the plaintiff's case. His lord- ship also went carefully through the evidence, and left it to the jury to say whether they thought that the promise had been made out; and if so, to what amount the plaintiff was entitled for the breach of it. The jury after considering the matter for a few minutes, found for the plaintiff-Damages, X150. There was some attempt at applause when the ver- dict was pronounced.

A WOMAN BRUTALLY MURDERED BY HER SON. On Monday an inquest was held at Liverpool on the body of Catherine M'Cormick, a widow, 65 years of age, who had lived in No. 3 Court, Thurlow-street, with her son, Owen M'Cormick, a carter. From the evidence it appeared that about two o'clock in the morning of the 19th of June, the son of the deceased was requested by his mother to go to bed, he being under the influence of drink. He used some very offensive language towards her, knocked her down with a blow, stamped upon her several times, and then jumped upon her. He afterwards seized her by the hair, and dashed her head against the wall and the floor. He then struck her with a boot about the face and head, and afterwards with a poker. In a short time afterwards he again jumped upon her face, saying that he would kill her before morning. Next day he was apprehended on the charge of having violently assaulted his mother, and taken before the stipendiary magistrate, who remanded him. The deceased was then in a precarious state, and died from the effects of the injuries she had received. The jury returned a verdict of Wilful Murder against the son of the de- ceased, and he was committed for trial at the assizes.

THE QUEEN IN THE HIGHLANDS. Before the Queen left Balmoral for Wisdsor, her Majesty paid a visit to the Highlands of Mar. She was accompanied on the occasion by the Princess Helena, and the Duchess of Athole, lady-in-waiting, and the Hon. Miss M'Gregor. The Royal cortege drove from the Royal palace vi& Invercauld-honse and Allan- mond, to the superb and charmingly beautiful falls of the Quoioh. Here, at the nicely-ornamented ^^d finely-situated summer-house built by the Earl of Fife, a pic-nio was held by the Royal sojourners, after which from twenty minutes to half-an-hour was spent in viewing the sublime and picturesque scenery and grounds adjoining the Falls. Her Majesty after. wards drove to the famed Linn of Dg0> returning through the villages of Invereys ma New Mar Lodge and Braemar, to Balmoral in the evening. Both in going and returning the Royal party changed horses at the Invercauld Arms Hotel. On Friday the Queen gave a dinner and ball to some of the tenants and servants on the Royal estates, in cele- bration of the forthcoming marriage of Princess Helena. The festivities had been arranged to come off on the Wednesday previous; but owing to tidings having reached the Castle of the death of a member of the Princess of Prussias family, the ball was post- poned till Friday. At half-past five on that day, about 150 persons assembled on the lawn in front of the Castle, where a tent had been erected for the occasion. Her Majesty, a°o°mPamed by Princess (I Helena, Princess Lomae, Princess Beatrice, Prince Arthur and Prince Leopold, arrived as soon as the company assembled. Lord Charles Fitzroy, the Dachesa of Athole, General Grey, and others were in attendance. Dancing was immediately commenced, Prince Arthur and the Princesses joining with the greatest spirit. Later in the evening the guests were assembled in the handsome ball-roam at. tached to the Castle, where, in the presence of the yueen and Royal Family, Dr. Robertson proposed the healtn of Princess Helena, which was drunk amid the hearty and continued cheering of the Highlanders. i he Princess, who is a great favo-urito with all the tenants, seemed much affeoted. Dr. Robertson pro- ?osed The Queen," which, toast waa received with _oud cheering. A sumptuous dinner was afterwards Jisposed of, and the company again assembled for lancing, in presence of her Majesty and the Royal family, the latter again joining with the dancers. The I lancing concluded about ten in the evening. 1

FACTS AND FACETIAE. —♦— A Modern Dutch Song Drinking Old Rye,— If a pody dreats a body, Mit some good old rye, Un if a pody dakes his toddy Zometimes on der shly; Or if zome veliow, rader mellow, Trinks dill he gets high, 'Gainst der liquor should he pellow ? No such vool am I. (Qorus—all zing.) Efery pody loves his toddy, Prandy, chin, or vine, Efery von has got his hobby, Goot old rye ish mine. Down der shdreet I ovden meet. Some Dautschmen on der shbree; Un if von of dem shoult shdand dreat, It's goot old rye for me. Of all der trinks, dere's none, I tinks, So goot ven you ish dry; Dere's noding, ven your shbirits zinks, Can raise dem like old rye. Efery pody loves his toddy, Prandy, chin, or vine, Un efery von has got his hobby, Goot old rye ish mine. Ven vunds ish vhlush den off I rush To Shon Horn's lager shdore, Put dere I never trinks too mush- A quart shust, un no more. Ven on der shbree I happy be, Dougn in der shtreets I lie, Un all der vorld is nix to me, Ven trinking good old rye. Efery pody loves his toddy, Den vhy shouldn't I ? Un efery von has got his hobby, Mine ish goot old rye. Duties fulfilled are always pleasures to the memory. One rarely repents of having kept silence; one often repents of having spoken. It is not the height to which men are raised that so often iaakes them giddy, but it is the looking upon those below them. Scandal is a bit of false money, and he who passes it is frequently as bad as he who originally utters it. What is the use in sighing and weeping as we float down the stream of time ? Why make the voyage of life a wailing voyage ? JefF, why am you like de gum tree? "I guvs it up, Sam; I can't tell you."—"Case you stays green both summer and winter." A man that marries a widow is bound to give up smoking. If she gives up her weeds for him he should give up the weed for her. If a man is not tall at twenty, handsome at thirty, wise at forty, and rich at fifty, he never will be tall, handsome, wise, nor rich. A hungry man is unmanageable. To be docile, he must, like a horse, have first had a bit in his mouth. Josh Billings says, "There ia two things in this life for which we are never prepared, and that is twins.' One Fault.—" She is insupportable," said a com- plaining husband of his wife; but, as if he had gone too far, he added, It is her only defect." A traveller, lately describing a tropical shower, wrote to a friend in the following words :-The rain- drops were extremely large, varying in size from a shilling to eighteenpence. A Caution to Tax-gatherers and Overseers. -If a man is to do as he is done by, he may well be excused for soolding when he is rated. Note for Anglers.-Fialiing was called by Izaak Walton the "gentle craft prob!Lbly because, in angling he commonly baited with gentles. An unsophisticated alderman, on being told that the Italians and French have no w in their languages, told his informant that he couldn't fool him in that way," and knowingly asked how they could spell wagon, or wealth, or woman, or wine, without a w. A Description.—She was all sorts of a gal—there warn't a sprinklin' too much of her; she had an eye that would make a fellow's heart try to get out of his bosom; her step was as light as a panther's, and her breath sweet as the prairie flower. As William drew his Snsan near, He whispered to his bride, Though queer it sounds, I love, my dear, To live by Suey's side." A Reason for Everything.—"Pray," inquired one minister of another, "seeing so many ladies attend your church, why do you invariably address your con- gregation as dear brethren ? Oh, the reason is easily given," he replied; the brethren embrace the sisters." In a parish not 100 miles from Hexham there once resided a pastor whose mercenary proclivities were frequently spoken of by his flock. One day an old farmer called to pay the tithes, and on settlement there appeared a balance of one halfpenny, for which the priest proposed that they should toss Nae, nae," quoth the farmer "aw nivver was a gam'lor, an' awl not start noo A California editor, speaking of the complaints by his readers that he don't publish all the local items they desire to Bee, justly observes that it is often their own fault, in not sending the facts. He says he don't like to publish a birth after the honeymoon is over, or the death of a man after hia widow is married again. A stranger in an American printing-office asked the printer's boy what his rule of punctuation was. I set up as long as I bold my breath, then I put in a comma; when I gasp, I insert a semicolon; and when I want a chew of tobacco, I make a paragraph." A Galway bailiff having been questioned as to whether he had spoken to any of the locked-up jury during the night, gravely answered, "No, my lord; they kept calling out for me to give them whisky, but I always said, Gentlemen of the jury, it is my duty to tell you that I m sworn not to speak to you. On a trial for an assault, which took place at the assizes, some years since, a medical witness in giving his evidence informed the court that on examining the prosecutor, he found him suffering from a severe con- tusion of the integuments under the left orbit, with great extravasation of blood, and ecohymosis in the surrounding cellular tissue, which waa in a tumefied state. There was also considerable abrasion of the outiole. Judge: You mean, I suppose, that the man had a bad black eye ?—Witness Yes.—Judge: Then why not say so at once ? One of Palmerston's Jokes.—In the course of th& late Premier's canvass of Hampshire, in conjunc- tion with the late Sir George Staunton, a meeting was held in a long narrow room at the Angel Hotel, dimly lit at each end by two small windows. Daring the noble lord's speeoh he was interrupted by cries of "No, no," proceeding from a little fat man in one of the windows, who was butler to an old admiral in the neighbourhood. There were loud calls to bring him forward, but Lord Palmers ton promptly said, "Pray don't interfere with the gentleman; let him remain in the window. Providence has denied him any intel- lectual light, it would be hard indeed to deprive him of the light of heaven." Ever afterwards, to the day of his death, the butler's appearance was alluded. to as, 'Here oometh the light of heaven." Out on the Spree.—Three persona were brought up at Wellingborough, a short time ago, for disturb- ance at an inn. A part of the charge against them was the order given by them for supper. Solomon took his seat first, placed his hands upon the table, and issued the following Waiter, bring me a dish of fried milestones and two church steeples cold without sugar." George next gave his order:—" A pint of town pumps done brown, with a spoon in it." Stephens was next on the list, and ordered as fol- lows:—" Landlord, bring me a quart of station clerks, two fried contractors, and a bootjack." Mr. Driver came last and made the following request:—" Land- lord, bring the Thames Tunnel stuffed with onions, and a pint of South Sea bubbles warm without." The simple landlord, after considering for a minute, merely answered, "I hain't got 'em, gentlemen," when a row took place. -♦ —

Mr. J. G. Bateson, a gentleman holding a high position in the Liverpool cotton market, cut his throat while shaving, at his residence at Wallasey. No cause can be assigned for this sad event.