Symud i'r prif gynnwys
Cuddio Rhestr Erthyglau

7 erthygl ar y dudalen hon

,--_--THE COURT. ..-*,,-----







EXTRACTS FROM "PUNCH" & "FUN." 3 Heat! The summer hag come with its July heat, And people are puffing in square and street, Your friends look hot, whomever you meet, With fiery faces and dusty feet. i And the p'lioeman is melting upon his beat, And longeth for winter's rain and sleet, With gratuitous mutton and pie replete, That his hat being gone, he couldn't seorete. And it's pleasant to drink and not to eat, í So in some cool arbour we'll find retreat, And sharpen the waiter with cries of fUe For Badminton iced to the soul is sweet, And never to stir is most discreet; Then legends of tropic climes repeat, That somebody's hotter's a nice conceit To think of, and then as the moments fleet As swift as the shadows across the wheat (That's half a crib, but I won't delete), And warmly each thirsty friend we'll greet. And, oh! for penanoe in cool white sheet, As in olden times they would serve a cheat, To punish me well for my verses neat, For twenty and one are my rhymes to Heat. Love Song. 1 By a Financier. Sweet maid, my hopes I would invest s In love-and not despair, Oh, grant me in thy trusting breast To hold a handsome share. To your fair face this trusting heart, Dear girl, was drawn at sight- Secure although the money mart I Be easy, or be tight. Now, do you love-or do you hate My prayers at premium aro, But, so that you don't fluctuate, Accept my vows at par. Then be not your consent delayed, Give of your heart a share, For such time-bargains, fairest maid, I would not, could not bear." ERRATUM:.—It seems that we were too hopeful last week, when, in speaking of the Derby Workshops," we said, The jobbing business, formerly carried on by this party, will be discontinued." A Bench has been upset, and some discreditable work the conse- quence. Justice is blind, as all know, but it appears that Justice for Ireland is also deaf. A bad beginning my lords and gentlemen. A storm may be brewing, at all events the Brewster is ready to do his work. Sheer Nonsense. We have often heard that swans are reported to sing, but we never met with any connection between geese and melody until we dropped on the following in a Leeds paper:— WANTED, a maa to conduct the singing in a village T f church. Salary, 28 per annum. A good opening for a tailor. Address, &c. &c. We are as much surprised to hear that the leading of a village choir is a good opening for a tailor, as we should be to learn that repairs neatly executed was the proper calling of a Mend-elssohn. Humiliating: Meditation. By a Dyspeptic Poet. On any morning, if, when up and dressed We're biliou3, then our souls are sore depressed: But if no dizziness, or ache, annoy us, Nor indigestion, then our souls are joyous: This thought the proudest is enough to flummox, The puzzling sympathy 'twixt souls and stomaoha. ANGLICAN APE SHOW. It would be worth the while of any enterprising showman to procure a num- ber of monkeys, and, having dressed them out in the copes, stoles, ohasubles, and other ecclesiastical old clothes affected by the ritualists, take, them about as an exhibition in the various districts infested by parsons who ape Roman Catholic priests. HORSE ON THE TABLE.—The hippophagists carry their fondness for horseflesh to an extreme. Accord- ingly, perhaps, they will soon have their horse served up with horse-beans, not to mention horse-radish, which, of course, it must require even more than beef. The dessert which follows the favourite repast of the horse-eaters will certainly not be complete without horse-chestnuts. Rose in the House of Lords- Sure, if by any other name a Rose as sweet would smell, A Rose by any other name should also fight as well. And if he do, still may we sing Old Rose for many a year, Wondering how he comes "Lord," for whom 'tis hard to find a peer. No rose without a thorn," 'tis said, but in the Lords may you Still find a seat without a thorn, my trusty, tough Sir Hugh. THE BANK-SATE. BY A CHORUS O-- e CO.'S. We may break. We may chatter like daws if we will:- Ten per cent. (which it rose) tis, be hanged to it, still! As IT SHOULD BE.—What a satisfaction it must be to the Empress of the French that the Emperor haa given up the idea of paying a visit to Nancy! THE SOLWAY SALMON.—Mr. Frank Buckland has thrown the right light on the subject of the Solway salmon, mentioned in our last as suffering from sun- stroke, by declaring it was only moonshine. Songf. BY AN APPLICANT TO THE ADMIRALTY. I've seen Romaine-I've seen Romaine At the Admiralty's seat; And find No main-and find No maia- Ly the answer that I meet. A RIDDLE FOR THE RISIBLE.-Why is a smile in- variably behind the time F-Becaute it's a little laugh- ter. SHAKESPEARE UPON RIFLE,SHOOTING.-What'a in an aim ? The power of winning the Queen's Cup. "ONCE more unto the breach, dear friends!" And be sure you bring your breech-loaders. THE ONLY DEFENOE FOR THE CAT.—The British soldier does iaot know when he is beaten. INTERESTING INTELLIGENCE.-It is stated that an exhibition of Converted Rifles wiil shortly take place in Exeter Hall. ANSWER TO MARY ANNE.—The needle-gun is not threaded with gun-cotton. POLLO(C)K'S "COURSE OF TimE.The late Chief Baron's Life, and long may it last!

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