The Brecon Reporter and South Wales General Advertiser

J THE COURT. THE Queen, Prince and Princess Christian, with the younger branches of the Royal family, spent the first week of the New Year at Osborne. honse, with scarcely any visitors. Her Majesty, at festive periods, almost invariably makes up a family party, almost to the exclusion of strangers. TAKING advantage of the heavy fall of snow on the 5th of January, the Qaeen drove out in a sledge that afternoon, accompanied by Prince Leopold and Princess Beatrice, and the next morning her Majesty drove in a sledge with Princess Christian. PRINCESS LOUISE drove out on Friday morning in a sledge, attended by the Hon. Flora Maodonald. PRINCE CHRISTIAN went out shooting, attended by Colonel Ponsoisby. Captain von Sohroetter had the honour of accompanying his Royal Highness. THE Queen also drove out in a sledge on Saturday afternoon, attended by the Dowager Duchess of Athole. PRINCE and Princess Christian walked in the grounds, and the other members of the Royal Family went out also. THE Queen and their Royal Highnesses Prince and Princess Christian, Princess Louise, Prince Leopold, and Princess Beatrice attended Divine service at Osborne on Sunday morning. The Rev. R. Duckworth officiated. THE Belgian Minister and Madame Van de Weyer arrived at Oaborne on Saturday, and had the honour of dining with the Queen and the Royal Family. ON Saturday their Royal Highnesses the Prince and Princess of Wales, with the infant Prince Albert Victor, left Holkham-hall, the seat of the Earl of Leicester, and returned to Sandringham-house. Their Royal Highnesses, who were attended by the ladies and gentlemen of their finite, travelled in a special wain on the West Norfolk Junction Railway from ffolkham to Heaoham, and from the latter point the train passed over the Lynn and Hunstanton Railway jjjo Wolferton, the station for Sandringham-house. His Boyal Hjghness the Duke of Edinburgh also quitted Holkham in the special train which was arranged to Holkham in the special train which was arranged to leave the Holkham Station at 3.45 p.m., being due at Wolforton at 4.45 p.m., thus enabling the Royal party to reach Sandringham between 5 and 6 p.m. The West Norfolk Junction and Lynn and Hunstanton Railways being worked by tho Great Eastern Com- pany, the special train was accompanied by the district superintendents of that system.

POLITICAL GOSSIP. THE deputation which waited on Lord Naas to pre- sent the remonstrance of the Irish General Assembly against Mr. Fortescue's plan were informed that the whole subject of Irish education will be brought before fe Cabinet at one of its early meetings. :(j!1g. GEORGE BRYAN, M.P., and Sir John Gray, M.I- have made speeches to their constituents in Kilkenny, in which Irish questions have been dis- cussed. The former thinks thera is a better security against Fenianism than a military occupation—a. "good land bill." THE Act suspending the Habeas Corpus Act in Ireland will expire on the 26th of next month, at the end of 21 days after the commencement of the approaching session of Parliament. It was the first Act passed last session; and it may be anticipated that it will be one of the first Acts to be passed next session. THE Liberal party in the eastern division of the county of Norfolk have determined upon starting ■far. Edmoad Wodehouse and Viscount Berry as candidates at the next election, in the room of Mr. Edward Howes and Mr. C. J. Read, the sitting members. THE Imperial Review (new Tory paper), believes that it is the intention of hsr Majesty's Government to propose early in the ensuing session such altera- tions in the "Conscience Clause" as will remove the objections to its practical effects that are at present so strongly felt by all Churchmen. IT is understood that at the banquet to be given to Sir John Rolt, the new Attorney-General, at Gloucester, it will be announced that in the event, of the learned gentleman's advancement to the judicial bench Sir George Jenkinson will come forward in the Conserva- tive interest. Meanwhile, the Liberal party are getting up a requisition. to the Hon. Charles Berkeley, second son of Lord Fitzhardinge, to come forward as a candidate. THE Westminster Gazette (the new Roman Catholic paper) believes it to be a fact that the Government do not intend to bring in a Reform Bill this session, f"<f though they are willing to meet the question by resolutions of the house, or by appointing a com- mission." The late splits in the Cabinet "were purely on questions of finance. A dissolution before resignation is one of the courses resolved on, in order to appeal from the House of Commons to the country." THE John Bull has reason to believe that her Majesty will in all probability open Parliament in person and that among the measures to be announced from the Throne will be one for the Confederation of the North American Colonies (not only the details of the new Constitution of the Confederation having been agreed on by the delegates, but the financial basis in which the maritime provinces are so inter- ested having been arranged on a satisfactory basis); measures affecting Ireland, besides those for Reform of the Poor-law and Bankruptcy, to say nothing of the Representation of the People. IT is stated that Professor Fawcett, the blind M.P. for Brighton, is about to be married to Miss Garrett, a sister of the well-known doctress, of Upper Berkely. street. We aro able to add that, in consideration of the learned professor's eminent talents and of the high esteem in which he is held at Cambridge, ani3 especially in his own college, Trinity- hall, the master and fellows have (on his resignation) re-aleoted him to his fellowship under the new statute, which enables a Benedict to hold a fellowship. When the number of eminent men awaiting this much. eoveted distinction is borne in mind, the re-election must be considered as highly honourable to all parties concerned, and especially satisfactory to the worthy professor in his brightening domestic prospects. F. A." WRITES to the Daily JVetvs Yon want to know the reason why Mr. Muneel, whose name is en- tirely unknown as a student of ecclesiastical history, should have been appointed to teach that subject in the University of Oxford. If you look into the Globe of Wednesday eveaing you will find ife. It is there stated, amid muoh irrelevant matter, that at the last election for the University, Mr. Mansel was a vice- president of Mr. Gathorne Hardy's committee. This, however, is a very mild way of putting it. Mr. Man- sel was, in truth, the soul of the movement by which Mr. Gladstone was ejected from the representation of the University. In that work many were busy in their several ways, but it was his to "ride the whirlwind and direct the storm." This appointment, with its canonry, can only be considered as a reward for ser- vices rendered to Lord Derby's party. Mr. Mansel is a clever man, and far be it from me to say that he could not get up ecclesiastical history, or chemistry, or Sanscrit, or anything else that he might think it desirable to know, although men do not usually enter upon now studies when they have passed the middle age. But most persons will be of opinion that this is not the way in which professors at Oxford should be appointed. THERE are new in the House of Commons 40 mem- bers who had no seatFl in that assembly at the beginning of last year. Of these 21 are Conservatives Mr. Arkwrigbt, Hon. G. W. Barrington, Mr. Bowen, Mr. Brett, Mr. Capper, Mr. A. W. Cast, Mr. Dimsdale, Captain Douglas-Pennant, Mr. Eakersiey, Mr. Gorst, Mr. Garth, Mr. Howel Gwyn, Sir J. Hay, Major Hon. J. M. Henniker Mr. Hildyard, Mr. Lanjon, Hon. Egramont Lasceiles, Sir E. Lechmere, Mr. J. Abel Smith, Mr. Xavanagh, and Mr. Whitmore. Nineteen are Liberals Viaoount Amberley, Mr. Candlish, 1\b. M. Chambers, Hon. G. Denman, Mr. De La. Poer, Mr. Edwards, Lord Eliot, Mr. Eykyn, Mr. Fordyco, Mr. Julian Goldsmid, Lord John Hay, Captain Herbert, Mr. Nicholson, Mr. Bernal Osborne, Mr. Jervoise Smith, Mr. Staniland, Mr. Vanderbyl, Captain White, and Mr. Wyvill. Of the 40 constituencies which have changed their representatives, 30 are in England, six in Ireland, three in Wales, and one in Scot- land. Eighteen have returned Conservatives in suc- cession to Conservatives 12 have returned Liberals in succession to Liberals; the former party has lost six eoats, and the latter four. The Liberals gained two Beats at Devonport, one in Aberdeenshire, one at Bridgewater, one at Petersfield, and one in Water- ford. The Conservatives won Beats at Brecon, Bridgnorth, Helston, and Sandwich, so that the year's contests result in a net gain of two seats to the Liberal party. In addition to the changes above enumerated, there have been 37 re elections; nine on account of the formation of Lord Russell's Government, and 28 through the acceptance of office by the Earl of Derby. There are now seven vacant seats: Armagh, Mr. S. B. Miller having been appointed a judge in the Irish Court of Bank- ruptcy; Dublin University. Mr. Walsh having been appointed Master of the Rolls in Ireland; Galway, Mr. Morris having accepted the office of Attorney- General for Ireland; and Lancaster (twa), Totnes and Reigate, Messrs. Fenwick, Schneider, Penuer, and Leveson-Gower having been respectively unseated. The average age of the peers who have died is 61; of the members of the House of Commons, 55.

THE ARTS, LITERATURE, Sc. I THE well-known French journalist, Alfred Assolant, has written a pamphlet on the foreign policy of Franco, but has as yet been unable to find any one in Paris who will venture to print it. A LITERARY paper states that Mr. Charles R9ade s novel of "Griffith Gaunt" is little more than a rSchauffdc of "Brother Griffith's Story," published in 1859, and of "TheFrenchman with Two Wives," pub- lished in Household Words" in 1856. The para- graphs in which the plagiarism appears most prominent are printed by our contemporary in parallel columns. i, THE Athenceum says: "Five hitherto unpublished letters from Chesterfield's pen have just come into our hands; snd as they are so far characteristic of the writer'and his times that readers will like to glance at them, we shall take an early opportunity to place them in our columns." AMONG the different versions of Professor Selwyn's Latin ode which the Lady Margaret Professor has had sent to him in token of sympathy, none will le found more curious than a metrical Hebrew rendering from the pen of the Rev. Dr. Margoliouth. It is stated that the Hebrew poet has contrived to preserve the rhythm of the original and at the same time to be as literal as the genius of both languages would permit. ONE of the newest ideas is "Julius Cse3ar: Did he cross the Channel?" By the Rev. Scott Surtees. Mr. Surtees says positively No. He makes Csesar go from the mouth of the Rhine to the coast of Norfolk; and is very positive about it. This new theory must take its place a.nd be discussed with the rest; and Mr. Surteea may have to deal with the difficulties raised by others as well as with his own. When he says that there are few things more self-evident" than his conclusions, he must mean" evident to himself." IT is proposed to erect at Dublin, by subscription, a statue of Mr. Guinness, the restorer of St. Patrick's Cathedral. Mr. Foley has undertaken to carve this work. THE Winter Exhibition at the French Gallery, Pall- mall, has recently received several now pictures. The best of these is by Mr. Whistler, whose voyages to and in the Pacific have been so fruitful of interest, and represents dusk in a harbour of the great ocean, probably the port of Valparaiso, although there is not enough of land represented to enable one to identify the locality. The painter's theme was rather the greyish green of twilight sinking on the sea, and ships becalmed, at anchor, or gently moving, than a topographical one of the ordinary sort. He has succeeded to admiration in giving an aspect of sleepy motion to the vessels, and, by what are apparently the simplest but really the subtlest means of execution, conveyed to the spec- tator the rolling, seemingly breathing, surface of the sea with a power that is magical. In its way, this is a poem in colour and in tone worthy of attentive study by all who care for originality in landscape Art. Two pictures, by Mr. G. E. Hering, "The Roman Colosseum from the Palace of the Cseaars," and The Bay of Batæ," may be mentioned as novelties in this Gallery. Two proof copies of "Elaine," Tennyson-Dor6, intended respectively for her Majesty and the Emperor of the French, magnificently-bound, are on view at Messrs. Moxon's for a few days. Messrs. Cassell, Petter, and Galpin have been entrusted with the publication of the American edition of this great work ef the Poet Laureate, illustrated by the greatest of modern artists, M. Doré. THE richly illustrated edition of "Foxe's Book of Martyrs," issued by Messrs. Cassell, Petter, and Galpin, in weekly numbers and in monthly parts, having been completed, the publishers announce that it will be immediately followed by The Illustrated Book of Saored Poems," edited by the Rev. Robert H. Baynes, M.A. Mr. Baynes, who is Vicar of St. Michael's, Coventry, is known to the reading public as the editor of Lyra Anglicana," a collection of saored pieces, original and selected, which some six years ago achieved an extensive popularity. Amongst" the contributors to the Illustrated Book of Sacred Poems," we find, amongst bthers, the names of the Dean of Emly, Cecil Frances Alexander, author of Hymns for Little Children," the Rev. Alan Brodrick, M A., author of Songs for the People," the Rev. H. A. Rawes, M.A., Ada Cambridge, author of Hymns on the Holy Com- munion," and Christina G. Kossetti, author of the Prince's Progress." Illustrated by the first artists, and published in penny weekly numbers and sixpenny monthly parts, Messrs. Cassell's new work promises to become one of the most popular serials of the day. No. 1, with which Gustavo Dore's engraving of The Crown of Thorns is issued as a presentation plate, is announced for January 16.

OUR MISCELLANY. Last and Next November Star Showers.— A comparison of the whole number of meteors ob- served with the numerical results of previous showers shows that this shower was far less significant than some of its predecessors. Whether other parts of the world witnessed a grander phase in the display than we in England did we cannot say, for there is at pre- sent no authentic information on the point. M. Coulvier Gravier, who ought to be an authority, at a recent sitting of the,French Academy of Sciences, suggested that the maximum display of the epoch might be expected in November, 1867; because, he said, the really great showers are 34 years apart in- stead of 33, and the last of these was that of 1833. Moreover, he called attention to the fact that every very grand shower is preceded by one not so grand in the year before it. This was the case in 1832-33; whether it will be so this time we must wait till next November to learn.-The Gentleman's Magazine. Tenacity of Life in a Flea—A few days since one of these irritating little creatures attacked a member of the genus Ilomo, and while in the act of piercing the skin, the individual placed his finger on it, and put it into a basin full of clean water. This was about eleven o'clock p.m. Next morning it was found at the bottom of the water, to all appearance quite dead. It was then put into an envelope, and placed in the gentleman's waistcoat pocket for inspec- tion at his leisure. An hour or two afterwards the envelope was examined, when out jumped the animal with all the agility for which the genus Pulex are remarkable, after having been under water ten hours. Not being an amphibious animal, I cannot understand upon what principle it could escape drowning; having spiracles and a tracheal system, it would appear im- possible that these should not fill with water, and thus kill the little creature; but it was not so; it still lives. J. J. Fon..—Hardwiclce's Science Gossip. First Pine-apples in England.—When Oliver Cromwell ruled in these realms, a present of pine- apples was one of the things which fell to his lot, and this waa probably the first introduction of the fruit into England, although it was known on the Continent four years previously. Four years afterwards and Evelyn writes of its appearance on the Royal table. But the fruit, however much it may have been extolled, is not the only good product of this plant. From the leaves thereof is procured a fibrous material known and appreciated by the barbarous hordes of Africa and the semi-civilised Malays, The celebrated pine- apple cloth of the Philippines, resembling the finest muslin, is woven with the delicate fibres of the un- cultivated pine-apple plant. This muelin is em- broidered by the nuns of the convents of Manilla with excellent skill and taste, so that the Pina" muslin of the Philippines h&s become a celebrated article of manufacture. Mr. Bennett has observed in his Wanderings that one of the coarser fibres may be subdivided into filaments of such fineness as to be barely perceptible, and yet sufficiently strong for textile purposes.—Ilardwiche's Science Gossip. The Holly.—The old English name of the holly was holm," or holm oak, and in many parts of England it is still known by these names; and Holms- dale, in Surrey, and other villages whose names commence with Holm, have been derived from the abundance of hollies which once grew in their vicini- ties. It has been thought that the Greenwood tree," familiarised in the story of Robin Hood," and other old English ballads of forest life, was identical with the holly. It grew in great abundance at Sherwood and other places in the central and northern counties. Certainly no plant is better suited than the helly to the purposes for which it is so much in'request. In evergreen decoration a sprig of holly can always be made available, while an equal-size&f spray of any other evergreen weald probably be difficult to arrange with taste; but the time is rapidly passing away in which the indiscriminate heaping of boughs and branohea in all sorts of conceivable, as well as inconceivable, places was thw, order of the day; and if the present system of church decoration is not strictly in accordance with the laws of nature it has the charm of being in keeping with the archi- tecture of the building. Though the stripping of the leaves one by one from their stems, and stitching them in regular order upon bands of tape, may be an act repulsive to the refined taste of a stickler for natural forms, it is, nevertheless, nice work for young ladies; and, after all, if these bands are properly arranged in their proper places, they are very effective; the leaves, however, should always be pointing upwards. Almost any amount of holly can be used in the decoration of a church, but it shonld not bo so tosed to the exclusion of other evergreens such as ivy, laurel, and bay.-Onee a Week. Mistletoe Berrie s.-The death of a child at the East-end of London, in which the jury returned a verdict of "Accidentally poisoned by mistletoe berries," is worth a moment's notice. It is somewhat difficult to make oneself believe that these berries posaess any very active poisonous properties. As they contain, however, a viscid principle similar to caoutehouo, and are decidedly purgative, it is just as well at the present time, when children have free access to them, that people should be put upon their guard to prevent their being eaten or chewed. The medicinal virtues traditionally ascribed since the Druids' time to the mistletoe are as marked as the veneration with which the plant was regarded; but the leaves and berries have been frequently exhibited with. out ill result, and, as report says, with good effect. On the other hand, some of the ancients regarded the plant as poisonous. An old herbalist, Gerarde, in the 16th century, speaks of it, however, very favourably" A few berries of the mistletoe, bruised and strained into oil, and drunken, hath presently and forthwith rid a grievous and sore stitch;" and Galen affirmed that it was a wondrous remedy applied outwardly for humours." Birds feed freely on the berries without harm. The wood and bark were used in epilepsy, and Colbach recommended the powdered leaves or twigs in drachm doses as an infusion. In Prussia the branches and leaves have been mixed with rye-flour and made into bread, and net unfrequently given to sheep, who have enjoyed them. In none of these in- stances has any ill effect resulted; nor in its formerly more superstitious use, as a charm to insure fecun- dity, or a protection against witchcraft and the devil. The verdict, therefore, of the jury in the case referred to is not altogether satisfactory.-The Lancet.

A FEMALE ORATOR AND HER SENTIMENTS. The special correspondent of the Spectator, writing from New York on the 20th of December, says: Two Sundays ago, as I was taking a constitutional walk, my custom always in the afternoon,' I saw on a door in a very unfashionable part of the town a placard, on which was written in what children call printing letters—' Free discussion here at 7t o'clock this evening. Subject-" 1,3 Secularism a remedy for social evils?" Able speakers expected. The writer- after humorously describing the meeting, composed of 30 persons, and the out-and-out" chairman, who, having spoken, a reverend Doctor roee--say s: "He was flowery of speech as well as shallow of thought, and compared religion to Gibraltar, which had stood and would stand for agns and oompared the efforts of the secularists against the vox populi to the attempt to take the great rock fort by an attack with shot- guns from rafts. He stigmatised the chairman's argument in favour of free love.' Whereupon the latter, with mild dignity which wag really impressive, called him to order, and took the opportunity to say that in opposing indissoluble marriage he meant merely to advocate greater freedom of divorce. Where- upon the 'doctor' apologised. In the course of his speech he mentioned, with a slight bow toward the bench from which he had risen, a Mrs. F-, whose untiring benevolence was well known to all present.' Directed by his glance, I noticed a woman sitting with her face turned from me, and leaning her head upon a white and jewelled hand. When he took his seat, it was by her side; and I was surprised at hearing the chairman announce that Mrs. F- would now address ns on the other side of the question.' The woman whom I had noticed immediately rose, dropped her shawl from her shoulders, and, stepping to the front, courteeied very gracefully and simply, first to the chairman and then to the people, whom she faced with as much self- possession as if she were pouring tea for them at the breakfast-table. Without being handsome, she had an agreeable, intelligent face, bright, dark eyes, and a fine, full figure. As she will not read this letter, I may say that she was probably about 40 years old but should she see it, she may forgive me for saying that, when I honestly add that she did not look more than about 30. She wore a rioh, dark brown silk gown, sparingly trimmed with velvet bands of the same colour, a small black bonnet, with a short veil, which she raised, and then I saw that in her ears were solitaire diamonds. She immediately began to speak in a rioh, low voice. Bat I had never heard a woman argue (in public) before, and in spite of her voice my sensations were anything but agreeable. Their unpleasantness increased as, warming with her subject, she began to ponr out an impassioned harangue, accompanied with violent gestures. Of all the radicalism that I ever heard or read of. hers was the most radical, the reddest. In a few moments she became a tempest in petticoats. She was equally incoherent and impassioned, and as ignorant of language as of logic. A married woman, with a bnsband 'as good as any man,' and three daughters that she loved better than her life,' she would have our so-called marriage entirely derogated, and men and women choose each other by a soul process, and promise each other to live together as long as they loved and honoured each other, without any promise of obedience on the woman's side. This,' she cried, is marriage that commends itself to my mentality; it commends itself to my soul; it com- mends itself to my physic.' A woman of property, she declared that every person without money, who on asking for money was refused, 'ought to steal.' Here the High Church physician interrupted her by asking whether, if she found herself in the position she spoke of, she would follow her own counsel, and take all the consequences. 'My dear doctor,' she replied, dropping her sweet voice to its natural pitch, like a dove descending from a storm cloud, 5 you know that I am a woman ef my word. Of course I would, and go to the penitentiary to exculpate my criminality by my principles. I have visited the penitentiary once in six weeks for the last 16 years, just to look after the poor creatures there; and I would go there to-morrow to exculpate my orime, as you would call it, and vindicate my principles.' She was launching off again, when she was told that her time had expired; and then oourtesying, she went directly to her seat. On motion she was asked to continue her remarks, and stepping forward, she acknowledged the compli- ment, and although it was done only with a courtesy and a glance that swept round the room from the chairman to the humble individual sitting upon a hard stool by the door, nothing could have been more_ gracious, more dignified, or more charming. But in a minute more she was raving, ridiculous, hideous. And ridiculous and hideous not only be- cause she raved about her mentality and her physic, and said that she would have such a thorough reform that 'all men's avenues would be equally poised,' but because, except in the gracious womanliness of her manner when she came forward and when she retired, she seemed for the time to cease to be a woman. In her opinion, one result of all men's avenues being equally poised would be that four hours' work a day would supply the wants of all the world, and leave to mental improvement the rest of the hours now devoted to labour."

Collision on the Great Northern Railway. —A collision occurred on this railway early on Satur- day morning last between two Manchester express goods trains. It appears that the first express poods left Grantham about 2.30 a.m., and proceeded as far as Newark, at which place it stopped for the engine to take water, although it was unusual for it to do so at Newark. The second express followed at an interval of ten minutes, and the driver, whose name is Hull, was warned of the immediate precedence of the first express goods; he howevor overtook it and dashed into the rear of the train, smashing and overturning the trucks, and completely blocking both lines. Break- down gangs were immediately telegraphed for from Peterborough and Grantham, and under the superin- tendence of Mr. Hornby one line was speedily cleared. The officials were, however, obliged to work single line the greater part of the day, thereby delaying the up-trainavery considerably. Beyond a severe shaking both gueffda and drivers 8Soaped unhurt.

MANY HAPPY NEW YEARS. The world is another year older, So are you, my young fellows and dears, Never mind, whilst the old fogies moulder, May you see many happy new years. There is hope that you will, for in store yoa Health and wealth may be destined to find. It may be many years are before you, And maturity isn't behind. Thereafter but few years, if any, Can be happy-a truth to regret! And whene'er an old friend you wish many, 'Tis what don't you just wish he may get? All in vain's the good wish of the season, Would, indeed, you were able to say, As on juvenile birthdays, with reason, Many happy returns of the day 1" Many happy new years an old man Or old woman might count, 0 my son, If at three. Eicore. and-ten we began, Going back till we reached twenty-one. 1. So on, over and over again, As the planets revolve in their spheres; With some reason and sense you might then. Wish your dad many happy new years.

I WOULD I WERE A CLOWN. My brow is marked with seams of care, The snows have settled on my hair That used to be so brown. I wish my face were white instead, With patches of the brightest red, A tufted skull-cap on my head- I would I were a clown I toil to earn my bread and cheese, Through days and nights devoid of ease, 'Neath Poverty's chill frown. I wish that I could filch my grub- Bread-and fresh butter by the tub, Undaunted by policeman's club— [ I would I were a clown! I sing-but no one heeds my lay, The public looks another way- My poems don't go down. Alas! I wish it were my lot To sing-where such applause is got- The song of Codline-hot-hot-hot! I would I were a clown!

"MY FAVOURITE." King.—A new sovereign. Hero.—The man who is one to his valet de chambfs. Author.—Bradshaw. Artist.-Not the lady who paints. Opera.—The opera of Lucian. Song.—" The Mistletoe Bough." Play.—Upon words. Actor.—Self in Seven Parts." Name.-Her name. Dish.—Of chat. Study.—A brown one. Amusement.—The Game of Speculation. County.—Beds. Book.—My banker's. Motto.—One good turn deserves another ÍA waltzing. Exercise.—A run on a bank. Ambition.—To be a contributor to Punch.

SCIENCE FOR THE HOLIDAYS. The directors of the Polytechnic were good enough to request Fun's presence at the private rehearsal of some Christmas novelties the other evening. Fan accepted their invitation: and begs, in return for their courtesy, to inform all quarters of the habitable globe that he came away from that establishment a wiser but not a sadder immortal. The Talking Hea4 the Eidosoope, the Automatic Leotard, and the Ghost- effects illustrating the Christmas Carol, are well worth seeing. There is a lighter entertainment in the shape of scenes from the life of Dick Whittington and a Shakespearian interlude, in which a young lady, who ia very pretty, Bings 11 Where the bse sucks," very charmingly. The institution offers plenty of amusement for papaa and mammas, while it is ildispeiasable as regards the scientific training of their young people. Happy in- deed must be the precocious boy of whom we can iiing:- Peter Piper patronised Professor Pepper (Polytechnical polite Professor Pepper). Presently, from practical Professor Pepper, Puzzles perfectly perplexing Peter Piper picked.

OUR GYMNASIUM. Something has lately been said on the subjeot of rathletic sports (Mr. Punch must protest against athletics:" once received in society, it will be followed by dramatios and other objectionable abbre- viations) their danger, expense, and undue predomi- nance at our universities, public sohools, aud generally amongst the youth of these Isles. Impressed with the conviction that a programme of maniy exercises pre- pared by competent authorities, at his request, might be acceptable wherever the English language was spoken, Mr. Punch commissioned the Nine Head Masters to supplement their labours on the "Latin Primer with a Vocabulary of athletio sports. They have obeyed his mandate, and he now dedicates their compilation to all parents and guardians, heads of colleges and other seminaries of sound learn- ing, gentlemen engaged in sedentary pursuits, and muscular and sinewy people in general, confident that it will be found to contain nothing detrimental to life, limb, and pocket money, or adverse to the due cultivation of the Belles Lettres, Liters Humomiores and higher branches of Mathematics. Balancing—one's cash account. Boxing-the compass. Catching—an heiress. < Climbing-to the top of the trae. Cudgelling—one's brains. Driving a Carriage and Four-through anAot of Parliament. Fencing-with a question. Fighting—with shadows. Fishing—for compliments. Galloping—through a novel. Hitting—the right nail on the head. Hunting-the slipper. Jumping—to conclusions. Poaching-eggs. Riscing—up and down stairs. Ratting-at elections. Riding—the high horse. R()wing- w h(m dinner's .late. Running—up a house. Sailing—close to the wind. Shooting-folly as it flies. Sporting—" the oak." S winiinin g-vvitk the stream. Training-a vine. Trolling—a catch. Trotting—people out. Tumbling—head over ears into love. Wrestling—with difficulties, and Walking-Mr. Punch's own particular sport-into everybody!

ANOTHER PARCEL OF PROVERBS. If the cap fits, wear it-out. Six of one, and half-a-dozen of the other-make exactly twelve. None so deaf aa those that won't hear—hear! hear! Faint heart aever won fair lady—nor dark one either. CiOTedit nothing—nay, is something to your The best of friends must part—their hair. The best of friends must part—their hair. Any port in a storm-but old port preferred. One good turn deserves another-in waltzing. Youth at the prow and pleasure at the helm-very sea- sick. BETWEEN YOU AND ME AND THE POST.-It is non- Flonae to suppose that the postmen in the East-Central district are over. worked. Their labours cannot be very difficult, for however many letters they have to deliver they always take them E.C. CON ON THE CONFESSIONAL.—In what part of St. Paul's would you expect to find Dr. Pusey ? In the whispering gallery. BEST AUTHORITY ON THE SUBJECT OF CHRISTMAS AT SEA.-The yule log. A SHADOW WITHOUT A SUBSTANCE.-The shadow of a doubt. A < FLAT RACE.—Running up things at a mock auction, with the serious intention of competing for the possession of them. A BAD BEOINNINQ.—The end of the marriage service. m