Papurau Newydd Cymru

Chwiliwch 15 miliwn o erthyglau papurau newydd Cymru

Cuddio Rhestr Erthyglau

18 erthygl ar y dudalen hon

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Newyddion
Dyfynnu
Rhannu

WISE AND OTHERWISE. "^Tfbnp wcrly," advised the husband. What J with?** jaqairal the wife. Then silence reigned. 1 SieH* -Co you believe second thoughts are bad?- Yes; but how are you going to get the lmit ones? Firrt: "We've got a. new baby at our house." Speood Child (contemptuously): c. Thztng. We've got a new papa at Mis. Treapeck "I married you to reform you." Mr. Henpeck: "You E'cceeded. I'll never mamr again if I live to be 1,000 years old." uI you have read of the danger in kim'ue- fee remarked, tentatively. I have," she repheke, --but I come of & family noted for *aur»geu** ,Ethel: "Didn't it seem an age from the time you WeT.e engaged till you got married?" Maud: Tes; but Jack and I managed to squeeze through it." .Judge: Wha.t is your name? Young Wife: 0 Nv **>C«rofina Aogusta. Emma." Judge: And how ille._wm gew--Yallv call(-<I? Young Wife (bash- faflyh "My sweet ducky." THr. "A black cat oame to our back fenoe lascsight." Mrs. Buggins Did it bring you good kick?" Ir. Buggins: That's what it did. I hit it the first time I fired." "Are TOO afraid of lions, pa?" "No. my toy." "Xar tigers, pa?" 1. No, my boy." ,Nor le%ojd-z;, pa?" "No, my boy." "Is nil the thing you are afraid of, pa? Mrs. Ja«-faack "I suppose you consider your judgment far superior to mine?" Mr. Jaw- h*ck: 3wa„ my dear. We proved the contrary mbea we -jcicse to marry each other." Gobw: "I hear the storm blew your tent -Aowng" Ctreus Fakir: Worse than that. The 3*in ^irr the sword-swallower a sore throat and -washed-sI2 tha designs off the tattooed mail." "TeAm4mr: Bessie, name one bird that is now <nftinefc'* Little Fessie: "Dick." Teacher: Dick? R'htt.-ortof a bird is that?" Little Bewie: Our canary. The cat extincted him! -Aunt Crabbe: "I think it is my duty to tell you that I ha.ve heard from several sources that Mr. Rtowe î., a very fast young man Daisy "fast wf fcR-'iv shall catoh him yet, auntie 1 Oevertfln (who has hired a taximeter cab to propare • aaj; Say 'Yes,' darling." Waltz- .bit: "Give me time to think." Cleverton: "'Beiwittl But not in here! Consider the ex- pfosel" In a fcinderg-arten claw the teacher recently akfld.ba.1. & kid was. Up went a little boy't kcjel "Well," said the teacher, "what Ï8 a ki& "I'm a kid," came the startling mnwm. JoZm, Sear; I: wish you would get me a. AroasiuuBj" My darling Amy Didn't I tell .yoa we mtssi economise?" Yes; that's why I ) WaIt the ie-aogham. Think of the omnibus fares 2<i JohtMEB- "Look here, Mrs. Soapsuds. I am qmie-aore I did not send so many handkerchiefs to the Mrs. Soapsuds: Why. bless jou. mr, tfaens ain't handkerchiofs; them's your last new jJairt I "Wat time is fe, inquired Farmer Oates, in J.ondon for the day. Is your watch going? Warmer kes took the end of his chain out of his eetlky pocket, and saicl Mv dear man, it ias pwe.35 H- JPadber: "The idea of you thinking ■bent nturyxag that shiftless fellow. He hasn't nmuey esoogii to buy a square meal." The Daughter: "I know, papa; but neither of us his a Tag appetite." Pa, oW.id Bert, "won't you double my al- J»wswBe?** "Why should I. sonny?" "Oh. I tbougii 2 ? was bigger it would be more on your ruirdl and you might remember to give it to mejrjEKftimes." T'ofetwjfn: "'Hero, move on. sir. Wot ycr waitirc 1,,Dkr! Farmer Hodge: l'm waitin* for Mm lrfxi offered to take my wr.tch to get it n-g.ilned. He ought to e back now. It's nigh on tmrcj ioers since he went." Honk thing- of a musician, who is enter- teiraqg: » ceiur,.trv fr: TICI to dinner): "Would yoo fife* a sonata before dinner, q ¡¡jre?" The Square: -W-elf, I don't mind. I had two on my vay- hm, but I can etand another." -We¡¡. .id Naggot. "a woman usually treats iwsr iusband as tii., averajjp servant treats tric-a-ln«." "I'm listening, replied Mrs. K*ggB)L What's the answer? The more %a^m~mwK&iAe more she tries to break him." asked a school nr stress. dila- ting- «n ike irirtue of' politeness, "if you were *e.i<a*d m a tramcar, every seafc of which was ,vm-Lqmimi.. artd a lady entered, what would you do?- "Ptr!tanci I was asleep! was the prompt a a very lnconronient custom to WBOT the engagement-ring on the third finger of the ie& Kitty: "Why? What difference does it mmke? Lottie: Because it's so hard to Jeora to use your left instead of your right J¡and. "JEjo; idthel," he began, or, Ethel—I mean rbuowu you long enough to drop the Miss,' I?** She. fixed her lovely eyes upon lum v;<& iL meaning gaze. Yes, I think you ha,VT" I -qmAmi& ""What prefix do you wish to ,bw 14 Grxi^et," said Mrs. Hiram Offen. 6ternlv, Am tux- W-Ly home just now I saw that police- »ct ffe tra ;n the kirchen with you so long last ing I took occasion to speak to Oh. shure, that's aU roigh, ma'am. Of crv wr*« ^"TTbaHt ÆiIl the doctor say was tfie matter wiffi nw!^ "He said he didn't know." Well, ■«rbai'dardw are you going to next? "None. WfcnB a abetor dares to make such an admission xp th" iw must be about as high in his profes- siom- W, In mu get," After. quaITef with her lover, Rose thought rsbe mmM soon bring him ba'jk to her side. So the iMtoroed letters and presents, with a note *1* tk> thou likewise." But to her dismay VfijSiit <ftef Sikewwe, with a note saying, "Here ftrsi lesson." A pfci-wor had been too exacting with a stu- .tfent at an ecamin-iti-on in chemistry. Can y<vi ir ^scTtbing at all ahout prussic aci<l? tfkf-gtsj-f«c%iar. Yes," replied the 6tudent. ""St** poison. One drop on the end of %tijt ftacvrwe uld- kill" ar <&og." "deaar,. there ra eomothing of <bc ^pro-fight in your eyc:" to-night— I WOlW. abouf you that reminds me of those &m>ee4 thru <of long ago. I hope you have He: "Yt*, I have a little left. How much do ,yoa araat tin's, time—five or ten pounds? "lWw girfs do alter," said the mother. zow. When she was a girl -«'* &nalaa'X sit in a room at night without a Ught » mse there might be a man in if- now, •thrrw w~hts a week she won't have a light in ^ttm^-ronva. because th 're a it,.ail in it. ( ^Wter-, atraid1 FIT never he able to teach you •jasjciaaip-. Maygie," was the d-spairing utter- rmr* £ "i Tr'-nton vfAn'.nn to -i r:-?w Irish doiues- irt. "Ooa't>you •k'ts,-#v.vy<)-i n!-o'i!d always hand m" rKKes-.a/jtlTirdd -ex" Sur«. mum. J !>ut I didn't know jr^ -r.tL" I, r «V n rr* fhabbily I d is now v :-si twenty pcurds a f, ot. J'- ■ jrify a year go i cau'd ha bought I it i-r a song." iiut voi: cot:hi t sing, I tb. ihe funrv rv-n of the company. 1 £ r*-<rA! siTry. Vat 1 coukin't get the xignt j 7v-'«t>'s n.'as the re-oiruler. was the re-oiruler. «T.iTP W:itixirr a a ''idy beca-r^ aware tbata. yonn.T mar: standing behind her was read- j$Hhn pr*o:"notly wrcte I ^rtf ui\\ :ikc to it, pr*o:"notly wrcte I ^rtf ui\\ bkc to fPJB:aOTOi»-morc n<nvs, b'ut Mr. Tlont. is peep- kwr owpt my shoulder and reading 1 are mi-tsken." e-rhimed the cul- yii haven't r^ad a word! T&r in a provincial t-v.vn has r-iav wv ?,■ f/i it-nat' is n'O'.y J.?- » rf inftia-'no1 '• a,SHK<w» .*>?#• 'O Io,«^ n > 11 ''• ( «T(95»:j;r'+r fr.5 c--t •. f" at .» mshufr-i. sir. I ar?f''T. '•Fvsmv! G-C-,It Se tt. n->n'. > nn onc0 arafeo f'ie rnort of it whi.e it r j said TKO ^i'V;-«n what I'rn e-dom oi i s r. jp/ysf r•<res. vo' re vrt^r f Na I'm not..i"" :"r" jrt r>t.T. 30 if anyhooy vou n i SVTS £ ?12 r''1 te PI' ■ "i T W4- nv yr*h. T" -■ ( -r.-r.hn :«■ baa .«.«Mr»-v.^|ifein;r^alr^ w;,o-r» t' •- verv rn-ti-r Mr t- hav« th- 'o v ■ re-Y n that — fir- was -o.y o- c-v ? ^ir the S: •-i io;it ° be & friend. Lc.weet! tne 3 the rrrly. r- >r «ti4 to ■r J'- ,.<u » w.) hc.d *rr VKI:i to wxl. f ran c'.ire rny- o. i. at •" w r-r!v. ".And s '? 5 r 'T j x, •• -i ■r =i;l turf • ? -^7 '*»" -V. ;i 0 w -V *1**k? *"i'>r. c.: ,*■ > ^*l'"or r, Tivi r>*1 was t.ie r 1 --1 xsr-1 T?c <lf t't l jS vSsirrj^-An was chn;; in aa hotru ^ii o .hiw ife covod r 5- •■rdir.Mr one of ?' 5 "Eow yot sit riil- ;J t.r'' Svw nren w'i/uv.U at; < r 4. luiatic

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