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LITERARY EXTRACTS.

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LITERARY EXTRACTS. .WHAT WAS THE Sijies NAME ?-There are a nam- ^of good legal stories in Sir Edward Russell's k of recollections, "That Reminds Me." One of at best relates to Mr. Justice Creswell's court. It 'Ifcs, if we mistake not, been told before, but will pro- fcftbly be new to many of our readers: There was OBce a Serjeant Channell, who for some reason was at fault somehow about his h's. One day before JIr. Justice Creswell, a sometime sayer of sly and acrid things, a ship case was being tried, and Ser- 5nt Chaunell was on one side and Sir Frederic esiger on the other. Every time the former men- fioned the vessel he called it the Ellen" every time fee other counsel mentioned her he called her the Jlelen," At last the judge, with quaint gravity, I Did: "Stop! What was the name of the ship? I have it on my notes th Ellen' and the 'Helen,' which is it ?" The Bar grinned. Oh, mylad," said Thesiger, in his blandest and most fastidious awaner the ship wascbristened the Helen,' but tile lost her' h' in the chops of the Channell." LORD WESTBURY'§ WIT.—Many stories gre told of lord Westbury's wit and snarp sayings. On his becoming Solicitor-General in Lord Palmerston's Government, he was called upon by the committee of 3be Conservative Club to resign his membership. Before obeying, he presented himself and addressed ftem. He had a small and, if I may use the expres- sion, a mincing or finicking-voice. Someone at the leG of the room called out: "Speak up!" I should have thought," he said, that the ears of anyone in Ma committee were long enough to have heard me." adeputation came to see him as Attorney-General, and, having heard his advice, their spokesman sfeid IIey would like to retire to make up their minds. He tNtfied: "Certainly, retire from this room, and Men you have made up what you are pleased to call you minds you will return, but you will not find me bere." When the horses in his carriage bolted, he sbouted to his coachman, Drive into something <SHEAP."—Sir Algernon West's Recollections. THE KING OF THE BEGGARS.—While we have heard of the Kings of many lands, and have come to recog- nise men who have acquired superior power and Influence in any particular calling as kings of trade," and the like, the King of the Beggars will be. to-most readers a new dignitary. Such a personage, however, exists, and is recognised by the State. In -china in Transformation it is said that organisa- tions have acquired such a hold on the social life of China that even the beggars are formed into a sort ofsociety. They are organised into companies, regi- ments, and battalions, and even have a king. His titk is the King of Beggars, and he is responsible for I fee conduct of his tattered subjects. On him the blame is laid when disorders, more serious than aual, occur among them. The King of the Beggars at Pekin is a real power. While the beggars Swarm like troublesome insects around. some chosen ffflage, and seek by insolence to intimidate every I One they meet, their king calls a meeting of the principal inhabitants and proposes for a certain -sum to rid the place of tits invaders. After a long dispute the contracting parties come to SB agreement, the ransom is paid, and the beggars #Bcamp, to pour down like an avalanche on sqme other place, and be bought off in the same manner. Sroublesome as Chinese beggars are, however, even they are ruled by etiquette, and have their profes- sional code. They may not call at private houses soeept on special occasions of mourning or festivity, and even that privilege may be compounded for by a I Covenant between the head of a family and the chief of the beggars. The roadside is always free to them, and the road to Peking is lined with the whining fraternity. They are sometimes really enterprising. Once at ths burial of a native Christian in Fuchati a aonpanv of beggars and lepers gathered round the (save and demanded twenty thousand cash before they would allow the coffin to be lowered. One of the rabble actually got down into the grave and pre- sented the lowering of the comn. They eventually Compromised for eight hundred cash. THE SPANISH FOR EGGS."—The Americanisation of Porto Rico has only begun, and the most amusing aights grow out of the desperate attempts of Americans in; San Juan to understand the natives and to .make themselves understood in returp. >CA Writer in Lippincott's Magazine gives a laughabi«:.pic- tare of a scene which took place before his eyea: in the breakfast room of one of the large hotels. Á I Altered the room a loud-voiced American was "Vociferating wildly, while a crowd gathered round trim. As I approached, he shook both fists ibt the crowd and yelled: "Boiled eggs?" If he had said "eggs" merely, somebody might have understood him, but boiled eggs," spoken as one word, floored everybody, and I sat down at a dis- tance to take in the scene. The man berated the Waiters as a pair of jackasses, and besought them to tall him where they had gone to school. "r Ki)ol, kool," cried the head waiter. "Yes, I know kool," and immediately brought a plate of cracked ice. At this the American exploded, but I stepped in and straightened matters out. I was paid for my pains, however, by being obliged to listen to his tale, the swual story of the stupidity of the "heathenish people," and of his utter failure to drive any sense into their heads. Lotus hope that the gentleman's methods of teaching the natives may never be much in vogue in our new possessions. ANECDOTJeSOF litlgh PEASANTRY.—Dr. L. Orman Cooper, in a recent pleasant account of his dealings as a physician with the Irish peasantry, tells some characteristic anecdotes of their doings and sayings which have the merit of being both new and true. It is well known that the water-cure is one not likely to meet with much appreciation in Erin; but the manner in which one old woman received the sug- gestion thata bath might be desirable was unexpected. She repudiated the idea indignantly. Sure," said ,.be, I've heard of washin' a corpse, but niver a live one!" He had some trouble with patients who were divided in mind as to the respective powers of him- self and the wise woman who would treat them as epfferers from witchcraft; and be was not always able to urge his claims to a victorious iqsue. Many suf- ferers, however, placed in him a childlike and cheer- ful faith, and of these a typical specimen was heard to remark: "The docther, God bless him, is after Siving me a description, and if it don't cure me hell escribe^me again." He.was able to "describe" for them on the whole successfully, although at first he fcund it difficult, on receiving accounts of the invalids from distracted messengers or relatives, to judge what kind of disease he would have to deal with. But in good time he acquired the necessary knack of interpretation, and ceased to be puzzled when he was called in to treat tonsillitis under the appellation of tomatoes in the froat": bronchitis, as ,11 brown katum on the stomach," or even "con- jectuse of the lungs with combinations!" presumably congestion of the lungs with complications. With aM the bulls and blunders of his patients, however, they were bright enough in their own way, and tfiey -eould describe an affliction if they could not always Same it. QUAINT CATASTRopHzs.-Brood ing over tombstones, 4oes not sound exactly like a cheerful occupation, .P& ton, and one certainly would not think of retiring to the graveyard in search of liveliness. Nevertheless, imose who for antiquarian pr other reaspns spgnd much time in the deciphering^ old inscriptions fire 4xmsionally rewarded by fin4s of an unexpectedly Entertaining,sort.. Here is an epitaph recently dis- covered by a seeker for ancestral tombe in a village Churchyard, It assuredly ought to Jte pathetic, but-- Here lies the Body of MarjM»n Flower, i .{ Br^ef, Ahw was her earthly. Hour, J. Sweet Buda must Fade, and bankers eat Blossoma most Delicate apd Sweet; i Thus did this Flower in, May .Time Bloom Perish untimely to the Tomb J I Slain in the Spring Time of her Year i: By an, insect Entering at her Ear. tPnfortunate Mary Anne 1 Her death was cortainly peculiar, and therefore, according to old-fashioned Meas, impressive. It was long fashionable to record apon gravestones the manner of any death that was aDusual. He fell over a Precipice and Entered ye Heavenly Gate," says one old epitaph; ",mad. trie exit from a World of Sorrow on ye Horns of a j -Qmr," says another, "And found Peace beyond; while a third, in the Old Hill Burying-ground at Newburyport, U.S.A., records of an esteemed house- wife that she sweetly breathed her life away," after "twallowing a pea at her own table." At Lichdene, Bog land, there is a stone which chronicles doubly the <#fctastrophe by which the deceased perished- The clinging earth his earthly part did slay And freed his spirit and it flew away. So rays tfie memorial verse; while above, a less poeticverBmngivefl, with name and date, thegrim explanatory statement, "Being fallen therein!Head Downwards* Ije died of Sticking in ye Mudf j SncrACLBD COWS AND SHOD Gaaaa.—In Bohemia erinitfjgeese are to be driven long distances to market, they are stlod tor thejonmey. The method of shoe- ing is as' simple as it is effective. The geese are to walk repeatedly over patches of tar mixed flitfiNud. This forms a hard crust on their feet, whian a them to travel great distanaaBi: without feecopiing sore-footed. Even more useful than shoes fear geese tbe spectacles worn by the cows that Seed on the: gage" steppes. Forty thousand ■pectacled cattle, so says the Family Herald, are now to be found in that region, where the snow lies white Ber six months ih the year- The cattle pick upia Kring from the tufts of grass which crop atxrtethe ■now. The sun shines so dazzlingly upon the white Mwface that many of the formerly suffered Scorn snow-blindness. Then it occurred to eoijie humane person to manufacture amoke-colonred Spectacles for the cattle. He tried the experiment, "d Lit was soccessful. The animals are saved., much •nfferiog. (t r 'f, THE MA IT WHO KNOWR—His talk is of war and I the proper prosecution thereof. He reads the even- ing papers assiduously, and is a great starer into windows where there are maps with flags on them. In this way he as picked up a fund of information which he is liable to impart to you gratuitously whenever you meet him. He will tell you with the gravest and most critical of airs that he does not like the position; that he is not quite sure of Bulleat; that Kxuger, "when all is said and done, is a master of strategy"; and that the British Army will never be any good until we have a little sense and resort to conscription. If you explain that you know nothing about these things, he will remark cuttingly that he thought you were an English- man. If you express agreement with him, he skys haughtily, Agree with me, indeed! I should just think you did agree with me I" And if you con- trovert him, he tells you that the amount of ignorance obtaining among the intelligent lower classes is simply appalling." On the whole, he is something of a nuisance; but it is to be presumed that he pays taxes, and is a patriot of sorts in his heart. So that one should suffer him.—Ou-tlook. A TART PRESC.UPTION.— Homceopathists and others will enter into the spirit of a bit of professional advice lately given by a prominent American physician. His patient was a fashionable young woman, who entered his office with a jaunty step and consumed fifteen valuable minutes in chatting of social occurrences. Finally she embarked on the topic of her own ailments, and graphically described "the sinking feeling" which, she said, spoiled her life. The physician prepared a small bottle of minute pills and dexterously pressed his talkative patient towards the door, while he silenced her by repeating a volume of directions and advice. Just as she opened the door the lady turned. "0 doctor," she cried, "what shall I do if these pills don't stop that sinking feeling ?" Take the cork," suggested the doctor; and he called the next patient into; his private office. SOME REGIMENTAL PETS.—The regimental dog of the Fighting Fifth"—a dog who won great praise for his cool demeanour at Omdurman—has been given official leave to accompany the regiment to the relief of Kimberley. The dog would probably have one, in any case, for the love of Tommy Atkins for his log overleaps aH barriersiof .red tape., Once, in marching from an Indian station, the commanding officer ordered that only a certain number of dogs should be allowed to accompany the regiment. The selected dogs marched out, each with its company, but the haversacks were strangely bulky and strangely likely. At the end of theday's march every pet dog in the regiment mysteriously appeared in camp. Sooner than part with their four-legged friends, the men had carried them the 20 miles of the march stowed away in their haversacks. The order limiting the number of dogs was that evening withdrawn. The shifts and expedients that the men are put to in order to keep pets with them are sometimes extra- ordinary. Journeying once on a hired troopship, we put in at Malta, and a sergeant, having gone on land, reappeared with a little woolly dog. The quarter- master on duty would not allow the dog on the ship, for the official number of ùogs was on board. The sergeant scratched his head, thoughbdeeply, and then went on shore again. An hour later he came back with a strange creature in a cage. It had four feet, but was covered with hen's feathers. Can't pas3 that there dog on board," said the stern quarter- master. Dog ? said the sergeant, with an innocent look of surprise. This is no dog. It is a Maltese four-footed Bird of Paradise, and there are no rules against taking birds on board." The laugh was with the sergeant, and the pet was allowed on board ship. Many regimental pets have gone to the war. The Gordons have taken their parrot, the Welsh Regiment has taken its goat, and at Pietermaritzburg and Cape Town, where the pets will probably stay while the regiments go to the front, there will be strange col- lections of animals.—The Clubman, in the Sketch. NINE CIIRISTMASKS.—British children will probably pity little Mexicans when told that Santa Claus is unknown south of the Rio Grande River. Perhaps he might feel lost in a country with no snow—-save on the peaks of the volcanoes—and absolutely no chim- neys. Their pity may change to envy when I add that, throughout Mexico, Christmas is celebrated by a festival called Las Posadas, lasting from the 16th to the 2Dr.h of December, or La Noche Buena. Las Posadas [the Inns] is a festival in commemoration of the wanderings of Joseph and Mary, seeking shelter in Bethlehem, and, having been refused entrance at nine inns, taking refuge in the stable. The guests assemble at about half-past eight in the evening, and each holds a lighted candle. Two of the smaller children carry between them Los Peregrinos [the Pilgrims] a miniature stable, containing wax figures of Joseph, Mary, and the Christ-Child, with wooden cows in the mangers, and often a tiny Mexican btirro in the foreground. Two other children carry hoops hung with bells. The guests, led by the hostess, form a procession and foHow the children. Singing Ora pro Nobis" and verses descriptive of the birth of Christ, holding aloft the lighted candles, the long procession passes slowly through the parlours, out into the flower-decked patio, and round the balcony nine times over. During all this time no sound is heard except the singing and the whizzing of the rockets which are sent off from the roof. The ninth time the procession reaches the door of the main parlour it is found closed. Then there is responsive singing, those on the outside asking admittance, those on the inside refusing. At length the door is thrown open, with a burst of joyful music; the children ring the bells, andevery one shakes hands with his friends, and offers them his good wishes. Then the company troop down to the stone-paved courtyard to break the pinate, a huge grotesque figure in the form of a clown, an Indian, a goose, or anything fantastic. Securely fastened inside the pinate is a stout paper bag of nuts and sweetmeats. The figure is suspended by a rope from the balcony. Each one, in turn, is blindfolded, and with a long stick strikes at the pin- ate three times: It is a difficultfeat to hit the figure, as a man stands on the balcony above, and twitches it out of reach just as the blow is struck, to the de- light of those who have failed. At last somebody hits the pinate and bursts the bag; the dulces fall in a shower on the rush mat spread below.. In a twink- ling every child is flat on that mat, grabbing with both hands and pushing with both feet. In the par- lours little seed candies are passed in quaint little dishes, which are kept as souvenirs by those present. Cake and wine are served, ond then follow music and dancing. This programme ie repeated each evening till the ninth, La Noche Buena [Christmas], when the house is decorated with huge scarlet flowers and the patio hung with coloured lanterns. The pinate is a gorgeous affair this evening; all the guests wear full dress. A banquet is served at midnight, and dancing continues till early morning. I told a little six-year-old Mexican of Santa Claus, of stock- ings hung in the chimney-corner, and other delights of our Christmas. He listened with wide-eyed interest, but when I asked which Christmas he preferred, he answered, without an instant's hesitation: Ours, of course. You have only one, and we have nine."— Christian Globe Christinas Number, SOME STAGE EFFECTS.—Stage mechanics are now so advanced that horse-races and even rapidly-pass- ing railway trains can be vividly presented for quite satisfactory periods of time. The general principle upon which these illusions are based can be readily understood when one reflects how utterly impossible it is for horses to continue galloping across a station- ary stage that they can almost cover with one leap. The stage must move, and obviously it must move in a direction opposite to the direction the horses are heading in. In railway-scenes the illusion is produced by a long and thick screw of wood, placed under the ties and striped in the groove of the apiral. When this screw is put in action the ties appear to move, and thougk they 'are not moving at all, they appear to move at the rate at which the brightly-painted groove is disappearing. The effect is complete when the dummy of the train is pulled slowly across the stiage simultaneously with the rapid rotation of the screw, and the spectators receive the impression that the engine and coaches are going at a terrific rate. If the rate were as great'ais it appears to be, needless te add the moving figures would not be perceptible, the train itself would be smashed to pieces every night, and considerable damage done to stage scenery—to I øay nothing of the actors and scene-shifters, who would now and then be slaughtered. In racing-scenes the horses do run at full-speed; they run, however, not on the fixed stage but on what may be called treadmills, which keep the horses in front of the I house for longer or shorter periods according,as they are moved quickly or slowly. A picket-fence, placed between the audience and the course, not only makes the scene more realistic; it also hides the mechanism of the treadmills. This fence has contributed in another way to add te the effect by being moved in opposition to the direction of the horses, and so lending toJtheir appa- rent speed. As to the sounds made bv the footfalls of horses to be heard as though passing outside an interior scene, they are reproduced by the dried hoofs lof dead horses, or wooden imitations mounted on handles and hammered against surfaces of stone, gravel, sod, or whatever the occasion may demand. They are also more elaborately manufactured by re- volving a cylinder with pins protruding from the surface. These pins are arranged, like the spurs on a hand-organ roller, to imitata trotting, galloping, or walking when struck against other substances. If the sound of a carriage is to be added to the tramp- ling of horses, wheels are run on sand.—W, B. Robertson, in the Christina* Number of CasseU'sMaga- lline.

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