Papurau Newydd Cymru

Chwiliwch 15 miliwn o erthyglau papurau newydd Cymru

Cuddio Rhestr Erthyglau

23 erthygl ar y dudalen hon

NOTES ON NEWS.I

MATCHING THE SNOW.I

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BIG THIRD READING MAJORITY…

ICARDINAL VAUGHAN ON THE WAR.…

PRISONERS IN TURKEY. I

IACTRESSES VICTIMISED.I

"TO WARM BABY." I

ICITY TEMPLE PASTORATE. -…

GERMAN GOVERNOR'S FLIGHT TO…

IA HERO OF MESOPOTAMIA.I

INURSE'S SAD DEATH. I

IDEATH FOR DESERTION. I

MRS. TWEEDIE'S SON KILLED.I…

I STRANGLED BY CHAINED DOG.I

I ALIEN FIRMS IN ENGLAND.…

I IN LIGHTER VEIN. I

Newyddion
Dyfynnu
Rhannu

I IN LIGHTER VEIN. I BY I THOMAS JAY. I I ILLUSTRATED BY J. H. LUNN. I Scotsmen all over the world will thrill with joy when they read that the War Office has at last given ita official sanction to haggis being sent to the Front. And already a lady in London is hard at work in the endeavour to send out large quantities of haggis in bulk. This will bring home to the Scottish soldiers a breath of the heather I TITS HAGGIS. and the music of the burn. The haggis is the one disli which haa re- mained, and re- tained its splen- did isolation, and except on Burns night is rarely see n in Eng- land. The great chieftain ol the puddin' race, as Burns calls it, is a fearful and wonderful mixture. Its in- gredients consist of sheep's heart, liver. seasoned with pepper and salt, and onions chopped up finely, with suet and oatmeal. And, as if this was not terrible enough, the whole concoction is pushed into the membrane of a sheep and boiled therein. And this is what has made Scotland what she is, for there is all Scotland in a haggis. Grave fears are, however, entertained that when they arrive at the Front the Germans will accuse us of carrying on our warfare in a most inhuman manner. However, sand- bags appear to be scarce. We wil] let it go at that. I believe that one of the first iiterary tnci* to make money out of his work wa-s t/iogenes who was a Greek professor. He has tumbled down through history as the only college professor, extinct or extant, ever accused of having humour concealed about his person. The usual stunt of Diogenes was to sit down by the wayside handing out huge chunks of philosophy to the passers-by. I am told, though I cannot say whether it is true, that he had embellished on his visiting card the words, Does it hurt you to think? Consult Diogenes." Pliny refers to him as the greatest Greek author, but Pliny, as we all know, was not exactly a George Washington, for he had the knack of telling a whopper at times. Writing is a complaint which starts at school. The boy writes home for money to pay bridge debts or tuck bills. The father realises that as a writer his boy has started. As soon as it is realised that a boy has brains he is advised to enter journalism. I once had a very great friend who was won- derfully intellectual. His people advised him to become a journalist, a course which, I may say, he adopted, and which soon cured him of his wonderful intelligence. The trouble is that a boy does not get the right kind of training at school. He is chock full of the wonderful exploits of a cer- tain Francis Drake, Esq., and of another gentleman, Columbus who was fitted out with a nice new ship and told to slip off and discover America. He is kept busy all day studying dactyls and the metric sytem. And of what use is a dactyl to a boy who is destined to weigh sugar in his father's shop? It has been said that only one man in a thousand can write a book. Perhaps so. But he doesn't if he is wise. He will enter some useful trade, such aa grocery or taxi-driving. It is also said that writing is hard work Don't you believe it. I have known many authors, and have yet to see them work" However, as one who has hurled forth upon a helpless world some- t h i n z like a f column each day —and I bow my head in pitiful apprecia- tion of the enor- m i t y of my offence, for which one day I shall have to pay the penalty I will throw out a few hints to the budding author. In the first place he must have a den. The general rule is to start with a den and fin ish with a AUTHORSHIP. I padded room. It is in the den that the author perpetrates his deeds. It is here that Angelina swears allegiance to Algernon and swears to love him always—which is a lot of swear for a young lady. Two swears is overdoing it in the first chapter, I admit. It is the usual plan to have in a room a few I busts of great men, such as the late Mr. Shakespeare, Ruskin, Bcon, and Charlie Chaplin. As soon as you have hit upon the idea of a ndu'el—without breaking it-that is to say, as soon as you have decided on the plot, and how much you will make out of it, you commence work. This is the difficult part, but it is not painful if done gradually. You can hold on to something first until you get used to working. The strange sensation will soon work off. With some novels, of ccursc, you might buy a house in Park-lane, while, on the other hand, a friend of mine was able, so successful was his novel, to hand ninepence in the pound to his credi- tors bv the special permission of the Official Reoeivtr. Now, as to the writing. Good white paper should be used, and you are re- quested by the editors to write on one side of the nib only. Take your seat, wrap your left leg round the table leg, lean over the paper. hunch the shoulders, protrude the tongue—say about one inch for a column article and two inches for a novel-then write away. A correspondent complains that not only do we have to pay extija for telephone calls J at the public call boxes, but we have to wait longer. A telephone is an apparatus invented to enable people to speak at a dis- tance. Some people send a postcard, some telephone. It is sometimes quicker to send a postcard. In speaking on the telephons the idea is to catch hold of the receiver betwn the first and second finger, raise the receiver to your shell-like ear and con- verse with the Juno-like voice which creeps along the wires to you. As soon as the operator, who is the young lady at the exchange who helps you to get through to the wrong number, telk you that your num- ber is engaged, you might crack the old joke about their being almost married. The operator has heard it on an average about seventeen times a day every day since she has worked the telephone, but that doesn't matter. Of course your aim will be to get full value for your extTa fee. In order to do so 6tep up to the telephone and think of a number. After you have doubled it and taken away the number you first thought of, try a little light reading. Take down the Telephone Directory and read the poetrv. It helps to while away the time. In oOflie of the best telephone boxes they are placing the whole of Shakespeare's works for the convenience of patropfl. By the way, the telephone makes an excellent' paper weight.

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IMOTHER AND HOME.1 I

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 '?Ht ?r?i? /? ?- J?S%?…

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MILE END ELECTION. I