Papurau Newydd Cymru

Chwiliwch 15 miliwn o erthyglau papurau newydd Cymru

Cuddio Rhestr Erthyglau

23 erthygl ar y dudalen hon

GREAT BRITISH ADVANCE. .—.—.

I DETAILED DISPATCH.

THE KING'S MESSAGE. I

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I "THE WILLIES."I

BOGUS SOLDIER.I

NO BAMBOOS FOR NORWAY. I

RESCUED BY LIFEBOAT.I

AIRMAN KILLED.I

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IN LIGHTER VEIN

Newyddion
Dyfynnu
Rhannu

IN LIGHTER VEIN BY THOMAS JAY. ILLUSTRATED BY J. H. LVNTt. Writing to a London paper, a gentleman complains of the number of people he has seen on the river boating, etc., and at once we are compelled to admit that he has been there himself. Love of the water is a characteristic of the race. Given a few square yards of water, a man will attempt to sail over it. If we take a jaunt to Cook- ham, there we shall see the houseboat and the canoe, and other things that hang about. In my opinion the houseboat is one of the most peculiar things man has yet taken to. To have a houseboat is considered to be "it" in society, but as I am neither a muni- tion worker nor a slate club secretary, the distinction is denied me. Personally I do not think I could ever learn to love a house- boat. Places with the bedrooms downstairs on the ground floor and the basement up- stairs, as they are on the houseboat, have never appealed to my constitution. To get up from one's downy bed on the houseboat and to plunge right slap up against Father Thames may be all right, but when diving one is so apt to strike a few old sardine cans at the bottom and to study more stars in a few seconds than the late Sir Robert Ball saw in his whole lifetime. We can grow wise in our choice of things just as we grow wise in our choice of wines, though I confess that in these days, when a man has to consider whether he shall have his wines or sell the wife's, family jewels, the wines will be an easy winner. For years men with the little demon in their pen, men of my own sordid profession, alleged humorists, termed by the cynic "comic men" A FRIENDLY SMOKE. as a term of ridi- cule, have made a good living writing h o r r ible stories about the cigars wives buy for their husbande a t C h r i strnas. There have been times w hen I have had to plead that I never smo ke c i g ars af ter d i nner, though it was a barefaced lie to cover up my sheer cowardice to avoid smoking a cigar ? 11 11 which loo ked fierce. To smoke the cigars of some men is to court disaster. To jump into the crater of Mount Etna is sheer cowardice compared to smoking such cigars. Of course, we all accept one another's cigars, and make some cheery comment about the nice band or something equally silly,' and we have taken them home and smoked them, just to kill the weeds and the insects in the plants, or to keep the burglars away. There is one brand of cigar which connoisseurs have always considered to be made of cabbage leaf. But it has been settled once and for all, by a gentleman writing in the "Times," that you cannot use the cabbage leaf to adulterate the cigar. So the bottom is knocked out of another music-hall joke. I thought it would not be long before some charming fellow would come along to help us out of our difficulties and put us in the way of getting a little of the "ready" in these hard times, when one needs to be a munition worker before one can indulge in á few oysters and champagne. Writing in the "New York Sun," a well-known scientist states the oase of an American who claims to be able to make diamonds. I havo been told that tale before, as no doubt have many other people. Henry VI. did a little bit of business 1ll this way, for did he not once state that the happy hour was drawing near when by means of the philosopher's stone he would be able to pay all the debts of the nation in gold? But did he? Other men have said the same. Those old philosophers were very useful in this kind of" thing, and I am rather sorry to note that Pliny has nothing to say about making dia- monds or about the philosophers, because he was the very man to enter into this sort of business with a gusto, for Pliny could tell a whopper when he wanted to. Then there was that other old rascal, Elias Ashmole, who publicly announced that he would make gold in Fleet-street. But he didn't, bless you! There are newspaper men and po-etti and naval writers, who will tell you that it is impossible to make gold in Fleet-street, even in the straightforward way. However, if anybody wants to make diamonds they are at liberty to do eo. Personally, I have no leaning that way, but I am ready to oblige by sampling a few specimens. I am not particular whether they are diamonds or rubies. When sending them to the office have them carefully addressed. Only a few days ago there appeared a letter in a London paper from a Kensington lady, who protested against the idea of oui soldiers having mascots. The good lady did not refer to them as mascots; she preferred the more heathenish word "idols." Only a day or so ago we read of one whole regiment in which each man possesses a touchwood—a tiny, shining, black little imp of wood. To Cromwell's men stone saints and anjjels werv idols, and there are people who think we should abolish the mas- cot as a thing of the dark ages, to be shunned in this age, when superstition re- fuses to strike on the box. But we need be careful, for there are few of us free from the habit of the mascot. The little things that a man carries in his pocket, the loss of which would up- A MASCOT. set his whole day, are but mascots. The fountain-pen of the writer is a mascot, for if it is mislad things go awry. He may pur- chase a better pen, but the new pen will not contain the little demon which helps him in his work. We may have passed the dark ages, but we cling to many of our old cus- toms. Only yesterday a soldier friend oi mine produced from his pocket a piece of white heather, which he hoped to carry with him to the Front. And he will. And there will come to him moments out there when he will reflect; and it will be a sad day for his peace of mind when he loses it. No, the mascot is with us to-day, as ever. "Git out and git under," as I heard a man say the other evening as he swallowed his fourth oyster. Oysters are in full swing now, and. it is just at this time of the year that I wouldn't be an oyster for worlds. Considering that the season has only just started, I consider that some pretty good performances have been put up in the oyster-eating handicaps. Only the other evening I admired a man with a beautiful over-arm swing, who only foozled twice. His time for the course was Imin., 3sec., and he would have beaten the record, I feel certain, had not some fellow shouted "What'll you 'ave, 'Enery." That gave him a crick in the neck, and the oyster, noting the movement, took the opportunity to break away. In my own case, while there was a time when I had a fairly good swing, you cannot tempt mo with an oyster to-day. And if you asked me to tell the difference between a Whit- stable and a Colchester, I should have to bow my head in ignorance. Whether it was Whitstable or Colchester, or whether it was home-grown or trained in our own stables, I should be unable to say. I have seen men swallow them, but I have never understood why. I suppose they do it for a wager or something. Hover, as far as I am con- cerned, all the oysters can lie by nice and comfortable and sleep quietly in their beds, for I want them not.

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I OTHER MEN'S MINDS.I

SURPRISE FOR THE TURKS. —-0—

PAUPER'S BANKING ACCOUNT.…

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PREMIER'S SON KILLED.

NEARING END IN AFRICA.

FLIES ON CHOCOLATE.

THE IDEAL RELIGION.

CAUGHT IN MACHINE.

NAVAL MOBILISATION DIRECTOR.

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