Papurau Newydd Cymru

Chwiliwch 15 miliwn o erthyglau papurau newydd Cymru

Cuddio Rhestr Erthyglau

29 erthygl ar y dudalen hon

I BRITISH ADVANCE. I

CENSUS CF WOOL AND LABOUR,…

I THE DIFFERENCE. I

BRITISH IN LABOUR CAMPS.I

NEW CLASSES OF RESERVE. I

r BRITAIN'S 39.000 PRISONERS.…

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I IN LIGHTER VEIN ]

Newyddion
Dyfynnu
Rhannu

I IN LIGHTER VEIN ] BY I THOMAS JAY. I ILLUSTRATED BY J. H. LUNN. I You have all, no doubt, read a statement that the average w-eight of Germans has de- creased !;y from "12ib. to 161b. as a result of the shortage of foud. You have read it and passed on just as if nothing really serious had happened; road it dry-eyed, with no trace oi tears, no sympathy for the disap- pearing Hun in his sad plight. Think of him if you can, the fast diminishing Ger- man think of the one-time 12-stone German being assisted by the hausfrau to put on his overcoat; think of him now that he is per- haps 11-stone or evon 10-stone, and the over- coat so well envelopes him as to make him look like a Spitzbergen policeman going on nightwork. It has been said by an eminent American writer that stout men are always happiest, but I decline to accept this state- ment unchallenged. The German stomach has been the curse of civilisation. When a man is thin he does not realise that he has a "tummy" at all, and when he is fat he can realise nothing else. Stoutness steals on one as it were like a thief in the night. Gradually the man realises that his waistcoat fits him better, and later on it does not fit at all. But the stout German, like most other stout people, is just something to laugh at. When a stout man comes in at the door, love jumps out of LOVB LAUGH3. the top 6torey t h e t o ?'t the window. Let the poor German housewife mourn for her husband fast wearing him- self to a shadow, for when he was stout she knew full well that a man with a double chin would find it impossible to lead a double life. Be- sides, a stout man could never wear the clothes he would like. The thought of a stout German encourag- ing his wife's mad fancy for red waistcoats would set a world laughing. Oh, it is sad for the poor German! A glass of water and one ounce of bread for breakfast, half a glass of water and another piece of black bread for dinner, is no way for a German of poise to keep up his avoirdupois, and he longs for the time when he will be able to drop into a cafe and order everything on the bill except the band music. There are some unknown heroes walking about. I have just been reading about that man who before a London Tribunal pleaded that his religion would not allow him to fight. Neither would it allow him to shave or cut his hair. I do not know, but I sup- pose the fact that a man allows his beard to grow fshows moral courage. I should like to see his beard, because I am interested in beards, and I feW convinced the nice gentle- man must have a nice full set with ear-flaps. Ho could not take part in war, or inflict in- juries on people like the Germans, but he goes about daily flouting a set of side- whiskers in frout of people It is, to say the least of it, flying in the face of good for- tune, for one of these days Mr. Frank Richardson will rush out at him and there ,jl1 he trouble. I have a friend who is so patriotic that early in the war he said he would wear a tie of the national colour of tho Allies, and each time a new country butts into this war he adorns himself with a tie of its colours. At present, as far as colour scheme goes, he looks lik* a Futurist paintiMg of Pidchngton Station leaning up against an artist's palette. But now he waits brsathlcssly for Greece, and then I shall strike him off my visiting list, for while on-) can sttind a few colours, too much of a mixture is not good for us. From all parts there come reports of the wonderful hlacklrrv crop. Blackberries ha?e many uses, but the clief UC-(' to be for the decoration of the childhood fVoo. TVir> <x>l?ection of blaekbp-rr-iofl has Song been an industry to which the jaded City man, bored to death by bunny- hugOgS ing an aggre- gate 0 of several tons of girl round the danoe room, flies. Given a day off, a stick I with a crook, one basket, and one girl, a very enjoyable day can be obtained in the country. While hay mak- ing demands much energy, there is a 1 ways something more artistic about the blaok- BLACKBERHYING. I berry grabber, whose clothing, face and hands will be found beautifully etched and illustrated by many funny cuts. It has been said that there is nothing like black- berrying to bring a man up to the scratch. 1 W«? are a dissatisfied race. It appears that, despite the war, there is a greater demand than ever for cosmetics. To come of us our faces are a sore affliction, for modern times and stress compel us to carry them about with us all corrugated by troubles, upholstered in a few days' growth of beard. There are men not satisfied with their real faces, who go about whistling. I feel I would like to brain the whistling fiend. You ask him to settle that little loan you handed to him weeks and weeks ago, and he merely whistles and passes along. It appears that Messrs. McNab and (;0. are sending out more cosmetics now than ever, and the shame is that any member of the premier clan of Scotland, the clan which put the McTavishes to flight, should ever be mixed up in this sort of thing. These are days when, given sufficient money, and a journey to the chemist, you can get yourself up that your own mother wouldn't know vou. Nothing pieces the modern, girl more than to get herself up so that tihe does not look natural. i We are advised by the authorities to be economical and get back to the old-fashioned style of living of our forefathers. We should all be prepared to live on half the monev we alreadv borrow. Personally I am not able to say exactly how my forefathers lived. A careful perusal of "Whos Zoo, Debrett, Crock ford, and Foxe's Book of Martyrs, as well as the "Police Pictorial," has not enabled me to trace the mode of living adopted by my ancestors. However, economy being the mother of invention, I have invented a few things which I hope will assist me to be economical, and I shall throw out a few hints in the hope that they will be caught by the reader. Let us take the case of reading. Personally, my choice is in the direction of light litera- ture, and this I get in plenty when the local electricity monger fiends in the electric light bill. Here is another little economy. Should the gas meter be out of order and fair to register the full amount of gas used, never send for a plumber, and don't pay the gas bill before it is due. I knew a man who did this once, and they sent a plumber to look at the meter. To remove grease stains in the carpet don't go to the expense of sending to the cleaners. Heat the garden Toller to a white heat in the kitchen fire and roll the carpet.

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L I ITALY'S CAMPAIGN. I

I NORTH AYR ELECTION.

A MUNITIONER'S EXCUSES.

OPPOSED TO WAR WORK.

'9 LORD BUCKMASTER'S HOPE.-_I

M P. BREAKS HIS LEG.

BISHOP LOSES THREE SONS.

LIMITATION OF EXPORTS.1

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I SKEFFINGTON INQUIRY.

ISHOPS TO CLOSE AT 7 P.M.I

___ALARMIST SENT TO PRISON.…

! GIFTS FOR ZEPPELIN DESTROYERS.-I

IFORGED REJECTION PAPERS.…

IPREMIER AND FOOD -RATIONS.I

[No title]

IDRESS OF THE DAY. I

[No title]

I BOOKS AND -MAGAZINES.

[No title]