Abergavenny Chronicle

OUR LONDON LETTER, [From our Special Correspondent.'] The new Session has begun. It openec so soon after the old one had closed that tlif suggestion was made that the occasion might pass without any ceremony. But though there has been scarcely breathing- time between the Ses.si )us, this is, after all. a new one, and it may be the most moment- ous in the history of the present Parlia- ment. It was fitting, therefore, that it should be opened by the King with due form and ceremony. Parliament will have plenty of business to occupy itself with during the coming months. During the next six weeks Supply and a new Vote of Credit will take up a good deal of time. The Education Bill is to be reintroduced. It was shelved last Session, much to the dis- appointment of Mr. Fisher and educational reformers; but this year it should get through all right. There is to be also a Ministry of Health Bill, and a measure for extending the provision of land for small- holders and cottagers. There is a great mass of public opinion in favour of the es- tablishment of a Ministry of Health, a de- mand for which is being urged upon the Government from all quarters. How long the Session will last is a sub- ject upon which there is a good deal of speculation, but there is a growing opinion that a general election will take place this year. Mr. Henderson sticks to his pro- phecy, "between the two harvests. Apart from the fact that there will he a new register, with millions of new voters, the election should be interesting from the number and variety of the parties. What may have happened with regard to Ireland by that time is not a subject on which I feel competent to make prediction. There will, however, no doubt be candidates for Parliament who will describe themselves as Unionists. There will be Liberals, I sup- pose, of two kinds, Lloyd George Liberals and Asquith Liberal?. Then Labour can- didates will be in stronger force than ever— Mr. Henderson puts the number of candi- dates at 300 or 400, "if not more." And in addition to those, there will be the National Party. Possibly a few more parties may have been formed by that time, and any- how there will certainly be a few "indepen- dent candidates standing for some "freak programme or other. For one thing I fancy the country will be pro- foundly thankful, and that is that all the elections are to be held on one day. It is good news that the ijumber ot national kitchens is to be increased. In a few weeks it is hoped that a large number of these extremely useful institutions will be in operation in various parts of the country. Twenty-live per cent, of the first cost of starting the kitchens will be borne by the Government; another twenty-live per cent, will be lent without interest; and fifty per cent. will be provided locally. There is every reason to believe that, once started, the kitchens will be self-supporting, but if there should be a deficiency in any district the local authority will have the power to make it good out of the rates. The work of ad- ministration is to be delegated to com- mittees, in appointing which the local authorities will be asked to bear in mind that it is desirable to secure representatives of Labour and the help of people with practical experience. The services of experts of all sorts are to be utilised by the Director of National Kitchens. ■ including, one is glad to see, expert cooks. The wish of the authorities is that the kitchens should be- come an important and necessary factor in the life of the community amongst all classes. The story of the Battle of Oxford-street is quite one of the most artistic efforts of the German Government, and they have made a few. The "news was received from an Amsterdam correspondent, and it told of riots in our towns in January, and particu- larly of one in London. It was an exciting affair, too. The crowd put the police to flight, Scotch recruits were marched to the spot, and, refusing to fire on the crowd, were themselves taken off to prison. The German account of this remarkable affair did not omit the "local colour." It stated that all the windows of a certain well-known shop were broken in the riot. The directing genius of the shop in question must have hugged himself at getting such a splendid advertisement for nothing. Germany, no doubt, has some purpose to serve by cir- culating such "news as this, but it is difficult to think that anybody outside of Germany would credit the story. The commandeering by the Government of large business premises in Kingsway is causing a good deal of dissatisfaction, as, of course, considerable inconvenience and finan- cial loss arc entailed for the firms concerned. Early in the war, when Government Depart- ments began to outgrow their accommoda- tion and new Departments were created and had to be provided with local habitations, several of the big hotels were commandeered for the purpose. Clubs came next. The at- tempt to capture the British Museum was a failure; and now it looks as though busi- ness premises are to be the objective of the offensive. Doubtless, the taking over of the Kingsway buildings is necessary, and has only been decided after an exhaustive sur- vey of all the other buildings of whatever sort and for whatever used, within an area of a square mile or so. Doubtless! Still, it is distinctly annoying for the firms who have to clear out at short notice and find other premises somewhere or other in order that they may continue to carry on their busi Qesses. One of the finest concerts of the season was that given at Queen's Hall on Saturday afternoon by Sir Henry Wood and his orchestra. It would be profitless to speculate whether the works to be performed or the names of the soloists were chiefly respon- sible for attracting such a large audience; suffice it that both were alike excellent. The soloists were Miss Myra Hess (pianist), who played most beautifully Franck's "Sym- phonie Variations," and Mr. Albert Sam- mons (violinist), whose brilliant performance of Lalo's "Symphonic Espagnole aroused much enthusiasm. The concert scheme in- Foreiit Schmitt, a cluded a novelty by M. Forent Schmitt, a young French composer, a native of Lor- raine, whose "Etude Svinphonique illus- trates Edgar Allan Poe's poem, ?h. Haunted Palace." The work ? very clever s-od made an excellent impression. The symphony of the afternoon was Beethoven's Fifth-magnificently played. A. E. M.

PROVIDES FOR THE WINTER. ratlier curious animal lives in America cailed the pika or little hare. It looks something, like a guinea-pig. It has no tail, and makes its home chiefly on the fountain slopes in holes and cracks among the rocks. It is a very industrious little aiiimal, and it prepares for winter by gathering plants, which it piles into stacks very much as a farmer makes his hay intft Ticks.

Liverpool rates have been increased ]8. 6d. in the pound. A department of Scandinavian studies has now been instituted in the University of London. A"rtnstrong Whitworth workmen at New. castle have contributed nearly £ 80,000 to far relief funds.

MOTHER AND HOME. It was a rich woman who said she owed her comfortable income to the fact that all her life she had never contracted a debt. Pay as you go was her maxim in life. Try it, and see how sure a rule it ig to follow. In the first place, it teaches you how much you can do without. For though many women think nothing of buying little odd and ends which run away with so much money when they are put down to an ac- count, they invariably hesitate and think twice about paying outright for them. MIRROR FOR DRESSING. I If after dressing a hand mirror is placed on the floor and the person turns slowly round in front of it, the discomfort of sud- denly discovering one's petticoat is showing below the skirt is entirely avoided. STOP THE WASTE. I A thrifty housewife asserted that the waste in a badly-kept- household represents, in a few years, as much money as would buy the house. In the food department she mentioned the remnants of meat, veget- ables, bread, and fruit that could all be utilised, but which arc too often thrown away. The gas stove carelessly used means a tremendous waste of gas; kitchen utensils neglected require constantly to be replaced, while in the laundry department there is often a wanton extravagance in soap starch, and other requisites. Experiments in her own household prove to her that, but for her careful supervision, as much as 150 a year would have been lost in these and similar directions. AMUSING CHILDREN. I To amuse a child a man or a woman must be a child again. One must, as Pope puts it, be pleased with a rattle, tickled with a straw; and even if it comes to jam on one's immaculate collar, or sticky fingers draw- ing out one's few remaining hairs like quills upon the fretful porcupine, it is all in the hobby. To succeed in it. then, it is neces- sary to be a hero and martyr in one. If' you start telling fairy tales, let them be human; if you turn yourself into a horse, and are required to go down on all fours with a burden of two or three children on your back, kick a little and roll them all over gently. When it is demanded that you shall play shop, or school, play it with a will, for all you are worth, and always re- member that you are expected to be the fool of the company. Forget you are a "growed up." If you are director of the revels, direct them with deference. To KEE £ FEET WARM. I Buy a pair of boot socks, a size smaller than those usually worn. and wind round any old pieces of wool until the sock is com- pletely covered. Buttonhole the edge with double wool to make it quite firm These socks are beautifully warm. To REMOVE FRuir STAINS. I An excellent method of removing- fruit stains fiom a garment is to ruh each side of the marked place with yellow soap, lay a small piece of pearlash on one side, screw the material around it, and soak well in hot water. Afterwards rinse in clean cold water, and expose to the air until the stain has vanished. It would be dangerous to try this on any material the col our of which is not "fast." Try a small piece of the mate- rial first to see Iliat the colour does not run. cio- THE USEFUL CORK. I The cork method of cleaning knives saveA much manual laljour. Take a stout cork from a wine bottle, and dip it into the knife powder, which must be previously moistened. Place the knife flat, and rub it with the cork. In a few seconds the knife will be quite clean and polished, and only require wiping with a duster. RAINSPOTS ON A FELT HAT. I A cloth-ball is an excellent thing for re- moving spots from felt and the like. These may be purchased from a chemist or a draper, or may even be made at home.* Another method is to cover the hat all over, after first removing ribbon or trimming of any sort, with pipeclay, worked to a paste with water. Leave this on for a day or two, and then brush off with a stiff brush, in the garden. Beat with the hands and brush until no suggestion of dust arises. To EXTRACT SPLINTERS. I To extract thorns or splinters from thft fingers, nearly fill a small-necked bottle with verv hot water, and then press the affected part tightly over the neck, iso as to prevent the steam from escaping. This will soften the flesh and bring the splinter to the sur- face. BABY'S BED-TIME. I These few words of advice are not in. tended to apply merely to the baby proper —for up to the mature age of eighteen, all children (says a contemporary) should, come under the jurisdiction of their parents in this respect, and if necessary be treated as babies! Want of sleep, or too much sleep, does more towards sapping the natural mental faculties of a child than is ever caused bv overwork or mental strain. An eminent doctor, who has recently published an interesting "Table of Sleep" for chil- dren, asserts that babies of five require at least thirteen hours' rest daily; children of nine, ten hours; and girls and boys of seventeen, or thereabouts, from ijine to nine and a half. No child, he adds, should be allowed up after ten, and little children ought always to be in bed" by seven. A SILVER TEAPOT. _L_L I I When the inside of a silver teapot, Slans to tarnish, the following process will make it look like new: Put a large piece of wash- ing-soda into the teapot and fill it with boil- ing water. Then boil for one hour over a spirit-lamp, and you will find it will become as bright inside as out, and the soda will not injure the silver in any way. To CLEAN GREY KID GLOVER. I Fold a clean towel two or three times and lay it flat on a table, then spread one of the gloves on this, taking care that it is not in anv way creased. Dip a piece of sponge into a little fresh milk, rub it on a cake of white curd soap until a good lather is obtained, and rub the sponge down the glove, from the wrist to the tips of the fingers. As the sponge gets dirty, rinse in the milk, and renew the soap. Continue until the glove is clean. (It will look a very bad colour, but take no notice of this.) Reverse and treat the other side of the glove, then lay aside to dry. Clean the other glove in the same manner. When dry they will look clean, soft, and glossy, and almost equal to new. FOR MOTHSKS-TO-BE. I Toothache is occasionally present, wnen a woman is about to become a mother, and, bad as this pain is to bear, extraction should not be resorted to except under doctor's orders. The toothache of pregnancy can often be relieved by taking fifteen grains of phosphate of lime twice a day. Mix it with the food. FOB PATENT LEATHER. I Alwavs rub a little vaseline into patent leather" shoes when they are taken off, and leave it on till they are to be worn again, when the vaseline should be wiped off with a soft rag. Should the leather crack, brush a little blacking into the crack, and rub the shoe over with a little furniture polish. Allow it to dry, then polish with a soft rag. Old patent leather shoes can be much im- proved by giving, them a thin, smooth coat of black Japan, which can be bought at any oil-shop.

Sir H. Llewellyn Smith, Permanent Secre- tary to the Board of Trade, has undertaken a special mission on behalf of the Govern- ment, and will be absent from the office for some weeks. Police-constable Holloway was commended at Chertsey for chasing across country at midnight and capturing Edwin Richardson. who was committed to the Assizes on a charge of attempted burglary.

I DRESS OF TKE DAY. I DRESS  TEE DAY. I A CHARMING BLOUSE. The present day vogue for combining I materials that contrast both in colour and I texture offers a wide field for the renovation of demode or partially shabby garments. Moreover, it allows of the making up of twc or three short remnants of material—pos- sibly sale remnants—into a charming and extremely modish garment. Our sketch thif week offers an excellent illustration of a par- ticularly pretty blouse. which is made up Of no less than three distinct remnants, just the very style for the bargain lengths which so many of us have acquired during the re- cent sales. As sketched, the blouse is carried out in very soft moire, in a lovely and most uncommon shade of rather dark blue; in Georgette crepe in a delicate tone of pearl grey; and in a very short remnant of soft [Refer to X 861.] satin in just the same shade of blue as the moire. The moire is used to form a sort of pinafore or "tabard," which is exactly the same back and front. This is cut out in a shallow, flat round at the neck, and is finished round all its edges by a small hem, which is set on by hand-worked veining. This tablier, as the French call it, falls below the waist to the depth of nine or ten inches. Beneath it comes a perfectly plain under- blouse of the grey Georgette. This, however, ends at the waist, and does not fall below it, as does the tablier. This underblouse is made with wide, semi-transparent sleeves, which are gathered at the wrist, and set into small turn-back cuffs of the moire, which are edged by a hand-veined hem. The remnant of soft satin is used for the sash. This is wide, is folded softly round the figure, is passed through a wide slot cut on either side of the tablier in front, is taken through similar slots in the back of the moire over- blouse, and is loosely knotted in the middle of the back, the two "long pendant ends being handsomely fringed. This blouse was worn with a fine cloth skirt in the same shade of blue as the moire. DAINTY PETTICOATS. Several of the West-End shops which make a specialty of dainty underwear arc showing some charming petticoats for wear beneath the filmy frock so popular just now. The prettiest of there are carried out in spotted net, and are trimmed by a flounce and I shaped insertions of Valenciennes lace. These petticoats are completed by a camisole to match. As both lace and net wash admirably, these undergarments are as practical as they are dainty. CHILD'S DAINTY HAT. I In these strenuous times few of us have much money to spend on clothes, and as a consequence we have to think hard to find some means of providing our children with new millinery, which, of courie, they are bound to be in need of at times. Now it is possible for many items of wearing apparel to be made at home, and the dainty little hat shown in our illustration can be built [Refer to X 862.] I quite easily. When finished it will look quite as good as those you buy, and the cost will be considerably less. To make this hat you will require half a yard of buckram for stif- fening, but the velveteen is certain to be found amongst the remnants you possess. Of this latter material or cashmere or cloth you will require three-quarters of a yard. With these items provided you can make this sensible hat for a child quite easily. THE SEVERE SERGE DRESS. I Many of the very smartest Frenchwomen, and more particularly those of good family, are wearing for ordinary afternoon use ex- ceedingly plain dresses of navy or dark grey serge. For instance, a typical frock of this kind recently made for a modish Parisienne was carried out in fine navy serge. The bodice was perfectly plain, -and was finished at the neck—which was cut out in a shallow round—by a small standing collar of the serge lined with pale biscuit Georgette. The front of the bodice was slashed down to a depth of two or three inches, and the edges caught loosely together again by two plain straps of black velvet. The sleeves were very long, and were finished by cuffs which matched the collar. The only relief to the perfectly plain skirt and bodioe consisted of a simple scroll design worked in narrow black Russian braid immediately above and below the girdle of black ribbon velvet, the ends of which were tied in a bow at the back. THE LATEST HAT. I The very newest hat shown for early spring wear is really a toque. This very be- coming form of headgear is carried out in peculiarly supple straw, and, as it has-little or no trimming, is as practical as it is smart. As a general rule, this new "rolled turban toque," as it* is called, has a wide up- turned brim, and a crown of modified tam-o- shanter shape, both crown and brim being carried out entirely in the straw. The most striking feature about this toque is usuallv its colouring, for the straw is plaited with the most extraordinary shot effect, such colours as blue, jade green, and ivory being combined in one model, and Indian red, dull yellow, and dark blue in another. Paper patterns can be supplied, price 61. When ordering, please quote number, en- close remittance, and address to Miss Lisle, 6, La Belle Sauvage, London, E.C.

At Ashford a man named John Wilson was sentenced to six months' hard laboui for telling a Canadian soldier that the King was a German, and for using offensive language respecting the Government. Norwich- City Council resolved, that the freedom of the city be conferred upon Mr. G. H. Roberts, Minister of Labour, and that the resolution be engrossed on vellum and presented to him upon a convenient date..

I I RAID INTO GERMANY. BOMBS ON IMPORTANT RAILWAY JUNCTION. Sir Douglas Haig's report on aviation, is- sued by the Press Bureau en Sunday night, says:— Several successful reconnaissances were carried out by our aeroplanes on the 9th inst., in spite of low clouds, mist, and high winds. Hostile batteries were engaged effectively by our artillery with observation from the air, and nearly one ton of bombs was dropped by us on various targets. In air fighting, one hostile machine was driven down out of control; one of our machines is missing. On the night of the 9-lOth inst. our night- bombing machines carried out a successful raid into Germany, although the weather was by no means good. Nearly a ton of bombs was dropped with very good results on the important railway junction and sid- ings at Courcelles-les-Metz (south-east of Metz). One of our bombing machines is missing.

I LORD BEAVERBROOK. I DUCHY CHANCELLOR AND PROPA- GANDA CHIEF. The following official announcement haa been made:— Lord Cawley of Prestwir.h has resigned the Chancellorship of the Duchy of Lan- caster, and his resignrtion has been ac- cepted. The resignation of S tr Edward Carson has made it necessary to appoint a Minister to take charge of propaganda, and, Lord Cawley being of opinion that these duties might more usefully be combined with those of the Chancellorship of the Duchy, placed his office at the disposal of the Prime Minister. Lord Beaverbrook has been appointed Minister in Charge of Propaganda in suc- cession to Sir Edward Carson, with the office of the Chancellorship of the Duchy of Lan- caster, vacated by Lord Cawley of Prest. wich.

I MISTAKEN FOR SWEETS. The death of a child who took some tabloids containing strychnine from the kitchen dresser in mistake for sweets was in- quired into by the Taunton coroner on Saturday. It was stated that the tabloids had been prescribed for his mother's use, as she suffered from anfemia. A verdict of "Death by misadventure" was returned.

I FROM THE ARMY TO THE SHIPYARDS. Twenty thousand skilled shipyard men are to he released from the Army. A small joint executive committee has been appointed by the Shipbuilding Employers' Federation and the shipyard trades, through which com- mittee the Government will deal in the matter of the distribution and allocation of shipyard labour. —

I THREE YEARS FOR ARSON. I At the Old Bailey on Monday, Alfred Cullwm, sixty-seven, fruiterer, was sentenced to threQ years' penal servitude for setting fire to Radcliffe Villa, Winchmore Hill, with intent to defraud the Northern Assurance Company. Mr. Travers Humphreys, prosecuting, said that accused had insured the furniture for E300. In one room furniture was covered with curtains and a rug, which smelled of paraffin, and in another room was a bladder containing petrol. On three previous occa- sions prisoner had been paid on fire insur- ance claims.

DESERTER IN CUPBOARD. I William Trentield, an Army deserter, was remanded at Gloucestershire on Monday to await a military escort. It was stated that he had been wanted for several months, and was found by detectives in a "'cupboard in his mother's bedroom. She was in bed, and denied her son was in the room. The cupboard front was con- cealed by wallpaper. For harbouring the man, the mother and a woman named Priscilla Peart were each fi ried tin, ————- —————

BLOWN INTO THE SEA. I Gallant attempts to save the life of a child blown in its perambulator from Dover Parade, into the sea were made on Monday by Lieutenant Francis West, R.N.V.R., and Electrician Alfred Bruton. Both men were unconscious when picked up by a boat. The dead child, still in the perambulator, was recovered several hours later. The child was the son of Quartermaster- Sergeant Walter Graham. 0.

LOCKED IN THE AIR. I A verdict of "Accidental death" was re- turned at a Hertfordshire inquest on Mon- day on the body of Second-Lieutenant Douglas Quick Ellis, of the Canadian Forces, attached to the R.P.C., whose machine collided with another controlled by Cadet Stearman, a young American. Both aeroplanes became looked and descended in flames.

WATERED MILK. I At Old-street Police-court on Monday, Frederick Pearcy, seventeen, milkman, was sentenced to six weeks' imprisonment for watering milk. The magistrate said he could oot imagine a more wicked offence at the present time. Ordinary theft was a trifling matter in comparison. At the same court, E. M. Griffiths, milk seller, was fined £ 75 and costs for selling milk containing 25 per oent. of added water.

SOLICITOR AS ABSENTEE. I Frank Percy Wheatley Down, thirty-five, formerly solicitor to the Southend Corpora- tion, was at Marylebone Police-court fined £ 5, or one months's imprisonment in de- fault, for absenting himself when called up for military service.

NAVAL CHANGES. I Admiral Sir Thomas Jerram has retired "in order to facilitate the promotion of junior officers," and the following- promo- tions are announced by the Admiralty:- Vice-Admiral Sir Arthur Limpus to be admiral. Rear-Admiral E. F. B. Charlton. to be vice-admiral. Captain* C. 11. ife C. Foot to be re-ar. admiral. y Sir ThomlteJefranr was Commander-in- Chief on the China Station when the war broke out, .aD.d, it Was mainly under his direction that the early pursuit of von Spee and the Emden was carried out. He com- manded the Second Battle Squadron at Jut- land.

Two of Finchlev's largest, IIOUseS of enter- tainment-Bohemia and the Rink Cinema- are to be used for Government purposes. "I have made a reputation as an inter- national referee," said Mr. E. Roberts before the Llanelly Tribunal. He was ordered to join up. a Colonel Sir Henry Webb, M.P., of Llwy. narthen, Monmouth, has given a soldiers* club at Oswestry, to be managed by Lady Webb during the war.. Seven men were badly injured by the fall of a colliery cage at Abtercarn, South Wales. Alderman G. T. Salmon, a jmunber of the Kingston (Surrey) Corporation -lor over thirty yeara, has died.

 I HUMOUR OF TKE WEEK. t É ,í:11 n tï, I "EXTRA STRONG." In acknowledging the receipt of a corroe. tion from the Fatnerland -Put., the "teip- ziger Yolkszeitung" calls attention to the fact that the latter I)aper of this Chauvinis- tic German organisation bears as a water- mark the words "Extra Strong," and un- kindly suggests that Admiral Tirpitz gets his official stationery from England. I THE MAN ";EO IIXEW. The commercial traveller had arrived at a hotel in Manchester and called to the clerk in the bureau (says the "Chronicle"). "Have C hronicle" ) you a > Manchester directory1* asked. "No," the clerk, "but there is a Man- chester man stopping here, and he' can tell you anything you want to know I REMEMBER SAMSON The following sign is nailed to one of the slender posts supporting the porch-like roof of a country store in a hamlet of the Far West: "Don't hitch your broncos to the pillars of this temple. Remember Samson. Christian Register I NOT SURPRISING The city visitor to the farm had just come down to breakfast. "I was awakened early this morning," he remarked, "by the hens crowing "The hens crowing:" exclaimed the farmer, smiling. Then he added, after a little reflection: "Perhaps you're not so far wrong after all; look at the price eggs are fetching!" AT HER I'E'JI:T. He knelt before me, a perfectly-groomed figure, with a look of earnest pleading on his smooth-shaven face. His black brows were slightly raised, and his large. expres- sive eyes searched mine. His sleek black hair sw as parted in the centre on a line with his straight, nose. His "mouth and chin had a look of determination that made me feel powerless before him. "Well, I'll take the shoes," I said. He arose, bowing courteously. "I thank you, madpm. Life." COURTSHIP TO MARRIAGE. "From courtship to marriage is a voyage of discovery," says a philosopher. From Greenland to the Frigid Zone. ONE DAY. A headline, "Petroleum Bill Dropped," induces "Cassell's Saturday Journal" to hope that one of these days the Huns will drop Kaiser Bill. MOST LIKELY. The schoolmaster was trying to make con- versation with the new pupil to put him at his ease, and asked him, among other things, what was his favourite poem. Excelsior,' was the response. "I re- cite it every time we have company." "Does your father ask you to do it?" "Yes, sir," said the boy. "He says he thinks it keeps us from having much com- pany." THE MEAN MAN. Jones (aB he treads on a tack): "I wish you wouldn't be so careless in throwing tacks about, Mary. Mrs. Jones (placidly): "Henry, you are getting meaner and meaner every day. I can buv a whole package of tacks for a penny."—"Harper's Magazine." —— o —— PICKINGS FROM "PUNCH." It seems a pity that the Treasury should have decided not" to issue five-shilliug notes, when they woulcT have proved so useful for wrapping .1 up the Sunday joi,.lt. A large piece of shrapnel is reported to have fallen on a building where a Food Com- mittee was sitting. e dount, l:ow<\er, whether even this sort of thing v. ill (,Ner succeed in iiiaking air-rtids -re-iliv It is stated that the paper shortage is causing gfeat anxiety to boot and shoe re- pairers. who fear that if supplies are any further restricted they may be compelled to use leather. The Ministry of Food states that under the new rationing .scheme meat will include sausages. We welcome the reassuring impli- cation REPRISALS OFF. I "Did Nurse tell you I'd been raughty, Mummie?" "No. darling." "Well, then, I won't tell you that Nurse dropped the toast in the fire." Mistress (to general, who has been sent on an erriild): "You are very late, Mary." Mary: "Well, mum, the butter queue got mixed up with the Tppodrome queue, an' before I knew it I was ;n." THE IRISH TOUCH. I "The Department of Agriculture, prose- cuted John for having caused a brood sow to be slaughtered without a licence from the Department. Defendant admitted the offence, but stated that the animal had met with an accident, and that it was essen- tial to kill it in order to prevent her death." —Northern Whig." QUIPS FROM "LONDON OPINION." I Austria may be described as seething. Or, I at all events, beginning to see things. In the food economy campaign, the silly talk on the hoardings is at last being fol- lowed up by action against the hoarders. The Bishops are being urged to doff their gaiters and wear trousers. But such gar- ments would seem to them breaches of eccle- siastical law. The Kaiser keeps the "noose from his people, but the latter may not return the compliment. Scotland's record Tank Bank investments suggest a new song, "Ye Banks and Brass o' Bonny Doon." In Germany both eating the war breaci and not having any to eat appear equally to lead to "disorders. A dairyman fined for selling watered milk, said his cows suffered from shell shock. The firing, evidently, had no weakening effect on his own nerve.

SUBSTITUTE FOR PLATINUM. J Stellite, the harder-than-stoel cobalt- chromium al^oy that has proved eo useful in c UtWw is suggested as a partial substitute for* platinum. Its melting point is about the same, and, while unfitted for chemical use by its oorrosibrlity in some strong acids, it aeeme well adapted for jewellery.

A bag of salt standing where there is a Mnen of fish will absorb the odour. To kee§ tins from rusting, it is a good plan to ptace them near the lire after they have been washed and dried. Ginger poultices arc as efficacious as mus- tard. and will not blister. They are made in the same way as musti.rd poultices. When taking a cup of tea to an invalid, pour boiling water into the cup to make it hot. The tea will keep hot much longer. Parsley will chop much easier if put into hot water for two or three minutes. Squeaking shoes can remedied by placing the soles in a little oil overnight. When making a cake or pudding requir- ing eggs, one egg well beaten will go as far as two beaten only slightly. A cupful of vinegar in a warm bath will take away all stiffness after cycling, etc. Vinegar will make a new gas-mantle last much longer. Soak five minutes, dry, and burn off. Vinegar and salt are excellent for clean- ing brass. Allow two tabiespoonfuls of salt to half a pint of vinegar. To restore the colour to ivory-handled knives after they have become yellow, rub them with fine emery or sandpaper. CLCTHF-L:F:. Always boil a new clot hes-line before using it. It prc-v?ntsth<? line frcm stretch- ing, 'd makes it ta?t longer. New props should be soaked in co'.d water for a few hour-, as this prevents them from splitting. TEA ECONOMY. When there are sever: members of the family comin g in for tea at different times, a great saving can be effected if sufficient tea is made for all at the first brew. The quantity required for coi, crc, should be poured into -?notler pot, and put aside. When wanted it should be wanned, not boiled. m,alite d it  h cyu?la b,- PUDDING CLOTHS. Immediately after use all pudding cloths should be washed in hot water and soap, and. when they have been w('l rinsed, hung up to dry, where they arc exposed to a good draught. To CLEAN PAINT BRUSHES. To soften a paint brush ou which paint ha*; been allowed to dry. heat e-nie vinegar to boiling point, and allow the, brush to simmer in it for a few minutes. Then wash well in strong soapsuds, and the brush will be like new. This will save buying a new brush, as brushes are often thrown away as useless after being used once. WOODEN WARE. Wooden ware should be washed in hot soapy water and dried thoroughly away from the fire. Table tops, bread boards, and meat boards may be cleaned by rubbing the way of the grain of the wood with a damp cloth or brush dipped in fine sand or pow- dered bath brick. Carefully -r;il,, afterward with warm soapy water and stand up to dry. CLEANING A GRATE. When blackleading your stove, instead of just using ordinary blaeklead, mix it with a little vinegar in an old saucer as some people add water. Apply with a soft brush, and polish with a hard one; a brilliant poli-h will ensue. This is very ecoiiolpical, as it requires less blaeklead. WHEN MAKING BREAD. When making bread always warm both flour and basins. Result: lighter bread. When you use yeast for bread-making be sparing with the salt. If too much is used it hinders the action of the yeast. Alwavs have a very hot oven at first when the bread is put in. This is to "kill" the yeast, other- wise vour bread will be full of holes and lose its shape. 'After the firlt ten minutes or so lower the heat a little. To economise the fruit when making cakes or puddings, simmer about a quarter of an hour before using them. Less will be required, and more important still, the fruit, currants especi- ally, will be more easily digested. This applies particularly to raisins, sultanas, etc. SOME USEFUL RECIPES. CARROT PUDDING. Thoroughly wash, scrape, and cook until thoroughly tender two large carrots; rub through a sieve; add to the pulp two tablespoonfuls of moist sugar. Put into a pudding basin four ounces of flour, four ounces of ground rice, three ounces of stoned and halved raisins or dates, one ounce of chopped candied peel, four ounces of finely cholijed suet, half a tea- spoonful of mixed spice, half a teaspoonful of egg powder. Mix all thoroughly, then add the prepared carrot, make into a stiff batter, but do not add any other liquid. Boil iii a well greased basin for four hours. The carrot makes the pudding quite as light as if eggs had been used, and is an excel- lent substitute. TASTY BREAKFAST DISH.-Tike eijual parts of cold potatoes. breadcrumbs, and fish, add pepper and salt, and sejueeze a lemon over them. Beat all together; turn out upon the board, and form into a cake. Let the fat in the pan be smoking hot. Put in the cake. and bake until a golden brown. Cut into fancy shapes and serve with toast. MINCED PORK.—For this you will require about three-quarters of a pound of cold roast pork. iree from skin, fat, and season- in0- one ounce of butter, one ounce of flour, three-quarters of a pint of stock made from bones and trimmings, pepper, salt; grated lemon rind, mace, mashed potatoes, Tolls of fried bacon. Melt the butter in a saucepan, stir in the flour (do not allow it to colour), then add the stock. Now stir in the meat, finely chopped, and season to taste with pepper, salt, lemon rind, and mace. Serve in a border of mashed potatoes with rolls of bacon round. POTATO PRUNE PUDDING.—To every four ounces of cooked, mashed potatoes add four ounces of carrot pulp, four ounces of finely chopped suet, four ounces of flour, two ounces of browned 6Ugar, eight ounces of prunes, well cooked, stoned, and halved. Mix with a teacupful of milk, to which Has been added one heared teaspoonful of eg powder (to take the place of an egg). Well grease a basin, press in the mixture, and boil for about three and a-half hours. SURPRISE PrDDING.-Take a cupful of cooked rice, and add enough milk to make it like an ordinary milk pudding. The addition of a litte custard powder improves it. Dot the top with bits of margarine. The dish should be three parts full. Fill the dish with apples, peeled, cored, and quartered. and add sugar to taste. Cover with a nice short crust, and bake in a good oven till the apples are done. FRIED SPRATS.CIean the sprats, draw them, dredge with flour, and run a small skewer through the heads of about a dozen. Fry in plenty of hot fat, and when browned lift on to a hot dish covered with blotting paper. Place the dish before the fire until the fish are drained. Then draw out the ekewer and serve.

The Rev. George W. White, who had been minister of the Enfield Baptist Church since 1871, and was a pupil of the late C. H. Spurgeon, has died. A conference of co-operative societies at Bulwell unanimously decided to take ira. mediate steps to form a butchers' associa- tion? A committee was appointed to b?ut wcrk at once.