Abergavenny Chronicle

Bt. Lieut.-Col. F. J. Marshall (Seaforth Highlanders) is gazetted brigadier-genera!, Mr. C. P. Bennett, solicitor, ShefikJd, died suddenly in -his office. Emmanuel Michael Rodocanachi was fined £ä, including costs, at Worthing, for dis- I obeying an order to plough two meadows. Private Ernest Hornblow, who joined the Army in September, 1D14, v.:hen fifteen, ift home at Isleworth on leave after giving a- quart of blood to save a comrade's life.

OUR CHILDREN'S COSHER. LONG AGO. In olden times, when people wanted to show how very glad they were that any- thing had happened—when they had won a battle, or when they had got well after being very ill, or when any great good for- time had come to them—they used to make what they called a "sacrifice'' to the Lord. They would take a sheep, or a kid, or an ox, and bum it all up, and blaw an trum- pets and make a great shouting and noise, just to show how glad they were. And the priest used to burn incense which made a very sweet smell, and everyone would pray to the Lord and try to say how thankful they were. We do not make these kind of "saerifies" now, but in old days it would have been thought very wrong not to do these -things. But just as grown-up people leave off doing certain things they used to do when they were young, so people, generally, as the world gets older, give up doing things that used to be done when the world was younger. IDA AND THE APPLE TREE. Ida had been very ill. She had fallen out of the apple tree, and after that she found t,2irself in bed, though she never remem- bered how she got there. Of course, she ought not to have been in the apple tree at all, to begin with; but then Ida thought that. as the old bough had borne her Weight so many times before, it surely would once more; and she could not know that it would choose the very moment the was on. it to break as it did. However, it did break, and Ida came down with a thump to the ground, and then-: came the curious part of it all. She opened'* her eyes and there she was in bed, and a strange nurse was leaning over her giving- her some hot milk, and she had a very bad paiii in her leg, and her head felt funny, and the nurse told her not to talk but to drink the milk and go to sleep. Ida was a long- while in bed. and even when she got up she had to use crutches for some time until her leg got quite well aiid strong. She grew to like the strange ritrse very much, and some parts of being ill she thought were rather nice; but she had to miss prize-day at school, and she couldn't go to any garden parties or school treats, and, on the wliole, tshe thought that perhaps it would have been better if she had done as ?hc was told and not gone into the apple tree. IN MISCHIEF. The fence had just been painted, It looked so fresh and bright; The boys had just been tidied, Their clothes were clean and white. They told them not to touch it, The paint was fresh and wet, But -,oaiiehow-wcl], it happened Did both of them forget? 'i The paint was on their trousers, On hands and faces, too; Now, really, with such tiresome bov. J What can a sister do? JIMMY. Jimmy was the name of our cat; he was the cleverest, wisest, best cat in the whole world. And he was first of all a stray, too; when Daddy found him he was in the schoolroom—he must have come in through the window to see what he could gv-t. Daddy shut the window and then turnca" | round, and when Jimmy saw him, he was so frightened that he sprang right through the window-pane and smashed it to pieces. But he soon became friendly and used to us all. He was very hand- some, and Daddy said he thought he was a valuable cat, but though we tried to find cut where he belonged to, we never did, so 1 we kept him. He would let us do just i whatever we liked with him, and he would j come and call us in the- morning and go up to bed with us at night. He lived to be very old, and Mrs. Jimmy, his wife, uood to sliare the stable-loft with him and keep the place free from rats and mice. He often would go away for two or three days at a time, but he always came back again. When he died we h?d a lovely i fnNal in the garden and planted a beau j tiful rose tree over him- .We shall never have any cat so good as Jhhmy. WHAT WAS IT? j Good-ijight. Mother!" paid Polly, hold-, ing out her arms for Mother's kiss. "Haven't you forgotten soineth ng?" said Mother. "I don't think so," said Polly. "Oh, very well," said Mother, with a smile. "Good-right!" And she went out. of the night nursery, leaving Polly and Joan alone. Somehow they didn't go to sleep a9 quickly as usual. Polly kept thinkini* what Mother could have meant by ssying they had forgotten something, and Joan, too,, had an uneasy feeling that there was something to be done before she went to SIC* sle"epLet's think what it can be said Polly. I fed the canary, and I've practised, and I've put the nursery tidy, and watered my flowers, and—what else is there?" "Oh, Polly!" said Joan. "I know what it is! We've forgotten to say our pray^ts! What shall we do?" Polly looked very serious. "So we have she said. "We must.-say them now, Joan." So Polly and Joan knelt up in bed and said their prayers to each other. The!. they lay down again and covered them- selves liP, and in loss than a minuta aniJ l a-half they were fast asleep. I THE BEAKS, THE FISH. THE EOY 'j AND THE GIRL. "My dear," said Alrs. Polar Bear, pop- ping her head up out of the water. "we've- got nothing in the pantry for to-morrow's dinner. I wish you would go and see what you c can get!" • "Certainly, my love," said Mr. Polar Bear—for he was a very good husband— "I will go at once." And off he trotted, over the ice-hills, He looked here, there, and everywhere, b could not find anything at ,ifl; -ile knew it would never do for him to go back to Mrs. Polar Bear with nothing at all, a he began to wonder what he should do, when he spied two small ngures 6A a larje' piece of ice near the sea. He knew that thev were a little boy and girl, and he kMW that it was very danger- ous as a rule for Polar Bears to get ne?r men of any kind, for they generally carried nasty, sharp things with them that hurt very much. He growled out "Good morning" aid then said he was sorry to disturb them, br.t he must have .the fish' they had caug.hi. Of course, as they did not know Poler. Bear language, they did not understand what he was talking about, and the little- girl screamed as loudly as she could. Mr. Polar Pear was very much vexed itil that, for he was afraid that some big men woul-l lie-er and would come up with the nasty sharp things; so he scrambled, out, of the water as fftst as he could, and picked up the fish in his mouth, and then with- out so much as saying "Thank you," turned round and plunged into the water ain a The little boy ajid little girl had a vcrv exciti-ug story to tell their father and mfcthtr when thev got-hoxiie, bpt Mrg. Polar Bear was delfghted with" the fish that hfr husband brought, and said he was very clever to have caught so many so quickly. Mr Polar Bear blushed (have you ever set-n a Polar Bear blu>h?)—but I am afraid to his ivife, how thoso fisk. t

CLUB WINDOW. „ I 1 CLUB nmowó_- One day during the arduous march to Windhoek the broiling sun was particularly trying. General Botha cheerily told his men to buck up, as he hoped to finish the campaign and be home in time for his wife's birthday. His men cheered, and rolled en in good heart. But by and by one of them asked the date of Mrs. Botha's birthday. "Oh! that is a secrct!" was the reply, and then the men realised, that the 14ugh was against them. Lord Derby, our Ambassador at Paris, tells a good story concerning an amusing experience that befell Sir John Lavcry, the ,eminent artist, when he was a guest of his on one ocasion at Newmarket. As ail racing men know, it is strictly forbidden for book- makers to put up stands or display boards on the racecourse. One day Sir John Lavcry was seized with a desire to sketch the coursc, and be went and set up his easel for that, purpose. A policeman, however, mistaking the easel for a stand, soon told him to "get out of it," and as the famous Academician had not got a written permission to show, he stated that he was a guest of Lord Derby. -The policeman only looked him. up and down contemptuously and .said, "Same old yarn. They all are. Come out of it." And there was nothing else for Sir John to do but to "come." Lord Pirne is credited with wonderful powers of persuasion as" a business man. It is told of him that when visiting Liverpool a large shipowner was observed to have a more serious face than usual. "What is, twrong?" one of his colleagues asked. "AVeil, .,the fact kn," he replied, Pirrie has been over and has persuaded me to order a ship, and I'm wondering what on earth to do with it. i » General W. P. Eraithwaite tells an amusing story illustrative of the ready wit of the London driver. It appears that a van was holding up a taxi. The countenance of the driver of the first-named vehicle was ruddy of hue, and he had a huge heard of the colour known as "auburn." The taxi- man eyed him up and down, and then his face brightened. Whato,. Ginger!" he bawled. "I useter have a beard like that till I saw myself in a glass. Then I cut it off •" "Much better 'ave left it on, mate," retorted the other gentlv. "I useter have a face like yours till I seed it in the glass, then I growed this beard." Genora'1. Sir Henry Eawlinson, the com- mander of. the British Fourth Army, was one of the late Lord Kitchener's closest and most intimate friends. Sir Henry relates a story concerning a major who, sent to inspect an outlying fort, found the com- mander intoxicated. He immediately locked him up; but the bibuious one managed to escape, and, making his way to the nearest telegraph office, dispatched the following luoissage to no less a personage than the Colonial Secretary: "Man here named questions my sobriety. Wire to avert bloodshed." Mr. Pett Ridge tells the following story! A, gamekeeper's friends were once congratu- lating him as to his ability in addressing his master's titled guests. "Well," said the gamekeeper modestly, "the only time I ever came near making a hlnnder was when à little old arch-deacon joined the shooting paity. There he stood, gun in hand, and though bird after. bird got up lie took no notice. "So up I goes to him—feeling rather annoyed, I was—and ■ 'ere, your Oliiiess, why dou\ your blankcty gun and shoot the bloomin' U And," the gamekeeper went on, "there was a look in the old gent's face that made me think that perhaps I ',Your 'Oliness' wa.sn't exactly the right to talk to him by." ) # W V Sir Joseph Maclay tells the following story, but does not vouch for its authen- ticity. A trawler was on naval patrol duty. The .skipper thought he would like some fish for breakfast, so commenced operations. Soon up popped a German submarine close bv. The trawler's skipper, an Aberdonian, was about to ram it and earn the prize money, when the commander of the U-boat, not suspecting this evil intention, offered to buy some fish. The canny Scot went along- side. sold his fish—and then rammed the 1 submarine- I I Dr. Macnamara, MP., knows some very funny stories, 'and some of his most humor- r-ous ones are Irish. The following is one of them: An old Irish peasant woman ap- i peered in the dock one morning as a re- [ sult of a quarrel with her husband the night [ before. She was a pitiful sight, and the magistrate ehook his head sadly as he looked at her. "Dear, door: This is. dreadful, ho said. "Here are you, Mrs. Flanni,-an, the mother of a family, with your lip torn, your cheek bruised, both your eyes blacked, and vour nose broken. Dreadfjil. dread- ful "Ah. sure, yer honour," answered Mv s. Flanniglan isomewhat sadly. Then, suddenly brightening up, she added: "But wait till you see Flanpi9 Lord Morris tells the following funny yarn, "A young wife," he said, "made some little cakes, and was anticipating with joy the rapture with which her adored hubby would enjoy them. But to her dismay, her little pet dog jum'ped into the larder and ate the cakes. When hubby arrived home he found his wife in tears. F—Fido has eaten the beautiful little cakes I made fox vou to-day,' she sobbed. Never mind; my dailing,' said hubby, gently. 111 buy you another little dog.' Major W. Astor, M.P., the Parliamen- tary SecTetary to the Ministry of Food, jj who is a multi-millionaire himself and the son of a multi-millionaire, retailed an amusing story illustrative of the misplaced arrogance of some very wealthy men. It appears that a certain millionaire, noted for his hrnsqueness, not to say rudeness, was tackled by a. newaboy as he climbed into his limousine late .one night. "Evening paper, sir?" queried the boy politely. "No," "I don't want any spar led ;the money king, "I don't want any | paper. Get outi" "Well, keep yer 'air -on; guv'nor," the newsboy r"nswered. "The I mlly differmcebtwoo you 'and me is that you're ma?in? your sepond million, while I'm still wor?in? on my 'nrst, < Many stories are told of' "Westminster" Bridge, as Sir Frederick Bridge is popu- larly known. Here is one of the best. At rehearsal the "Chorus in Hell" in one of Dvorak's operas did not please him. At ,last he exclaimedj "Really, gentlemen, you ought to make it sound more like the real thilig° Think how foolish -,you'll feel wlien you get there if you can't speak the language!" During a rehearsal of "Israel" a number of visitors disturbed Sir Frederick. A t last they left, noisily. "Now," he said, "let us .start at 'And Israel was glad at their departing. The Marquess of Landsowne is a witty raconteur, and one of his favourite tales concerns a political meeting at a village, in Ireland. "Has any gintJeman i anny ques- tions to ask?" inquired the chairman, look- ing round upon the asr-,nbled audience.* A- man thereupon got up lo ask something, when a partisan of the* sp-eakrs on the platform instantly knocked him down. l?1-4?ig aniiv other gin tie man anny questions to 3bk?" aid the c?nirmaa, blandly; but as, no ether gentleman had, the motion Ix-fore the meeting was declared as curried unaaiijiously."

—— —— AMERICAN AIRMAN'S DARING EXPLOITS. How an American airman attached to the naval section went quite unofficially to a ISitish front line a-jrodrome to "acquire information, to bo used in tho discharge" of bis work, and., during one crowded mom- ing, earned for himself a recommendation for the V.C., the American Congressional Medal, and his captaincy, and wouldn't give his name "for fear of being scolded," is told? in a dispatch by Mr. John Russell, which has been issued by the U.S. Public Informa- tion Committee:- Flying with Eritish air patrols, Lieutenant E. G. Chamberlain, U.S.M.C., had his en- gine damaged At the same time his -right gun jammed. Instead of making for home he remained, until twelve enemies closed. The American only had 100 rounds of am- munition left for his solitary gun, but when a Hun singled him out he sent his opponent crashing. Five of the enemy attacked him just as his engine stopped, but he cut through the burst of bullets into a loop. The leader of the "circus" came for him and received the last bullets Ch-am-bertain had. As the leader's machine circled to its crash the remaining enemy machines made off. Then he landed and stripped his machine, in spite of the enemy's firo. He encountered an enemy patrol, and bluffed them into thinking that the compass he threatened to throw at them was a grenade. One of the enemy patrol surrendered, and Chamberlain brought him in as a prisoner.

ALWAYS TOGETHER. I Private J. Leith and Private A. Reid, of the Gordon Highlanders, have reached Eng- land after escaping from a German prison camp. Leith belons to Mulben and Reid 1 to Buckie, in Banffshire. Both men were born at Keith, in the same county. They went to France in th6 same battalion, with the original B.E.P., were captured together at Mons in August; 1914, have been together as prisoners since, and escaped together.

"BEGINNING OF THE END" I Replying to a message from the Italian Premier, Mr. Lloyd George telegraphed:— "Thanks to the brilliant leadership of Marshal Foch and the Allied generals and the splendid valour and enthusiasm of all the Allied troops, the German armies are now in retreat. I feel .sure that this suc- cess is the beginning of the end of the domi- nance of German militarism." f

DEFlAUfi!N6THE RAILWAY. I At the London Guildhall, Solomon Bar- i good, of Booth-street, Spitalfieids, was fined .£2 and £ 3 3s. costs for using an obsolete- ticket from Tring to Broad-strec-t, on tho North London Railway. Bargood, it was stated, had gone to live at Tring to avoid air raids. When the time came for him to renew his season ticket the company refused. He was specially watched, and on August 7 he gave up a ticket the date of which had been erased. "There ir, a lot of swindling going on by a certain class who have gc!!e to live in the country in these timer; was the comment of the presiding alderman.

SQUARE PEGS IN ROUND HOLES. I — ROUN-;) HOLES. 1 When a photographer in Grade 2 applied for exemption at Aide robot Tribunal the National Service representative .paid that hundreds of profc^ionat photographers were wanted for immediate service. Mr. Watters: A year ago we gave you a professional photographer, and he was immediately put into a different urit. At the la-st sitting we gave you another photo- grapher, and he has been made an insiiector of aeroplanes, though" he knows nothing about the work. applicant was g-ranied three nM?tha A-pplici,,nt wis o,:ra uL'ed t.iii-ce nif)?it h s'

I SIR JOSEPH JONAS DEGRADED. 1 The King has been pleased by Letters. 1 Patent under the Great Seal Of the United Kingdom to degrade Sir Joseph Jonas from the degree of Knight Bachelor. Sir Joseph Jonas, steel merchant, and Lord Mayor of Sheffield, was found guilty at the Old "Bailey in July of aiding, abetting, and procuring" Charles Alfred Vernon to ■obtain and communicate information' rela- tre to a prohibited place. Jonae was- fined 1£2,000 and Vernon A 1,000.

I SOLDIERS ON THE LAND. I The Food Production Department report I that about 69,000 soldiers are now at work I on the farms of England and W ales. Close upon 3,000"War Agricultural Volun- teers are also helping with the harvest. Prisoners of war are being increasingly used on agricultural work. Upwards of ¡ 22,000 ate now employed. ■-

I HOLIDAY-MAKERS' SUGAR. 1 "i"1 1 The Ministry of Food' forwards the following for publication: "The Director f Sugar Distri- bution calls attention to the fact that holiday- makers cannot draw their rations in advance. A statement to this effect recently made in I the Press was not authorised by him, and is I incorrect.

The Victorian Government has up to the present purchased -33,000 acres, costing nearly < £ 500,000, for the purpose of settling soldiers on the land. The Australian Government is drafting regulations forbidding the use of red flags j by Labour organisations, and prohibiting the use of the German language in public places. Some hospitals in Kent have served notice on the. County Council to terminate ar- rangements for the treatment of school children. > j Up to july 31 the number of employees of the London and North-Western Railway who had joined his Majesty's Forces was 31,206, or 33 per cent. of the total.

| OUR LONDON LETTER. I OUR LONDN LEiTER.. I [From Our Special Correspondent.] It was impossible that the police strike- could be allowed to last long. Though the vast majority of Londoners can. be trusted to collduct themselves With due regard to law and order, there is. a minority quite ready and willing to make the most of an unwonted freedom from polioc supervision. The mice began to play pretty soon after: the cat went away, and there were bur- glaries in a niimber of districts. If the strike had lasted a fortnight instead cf a- couple of days our professional burglars-, would have had the time of their lives. One cf the fraternity, according to report, was much disappointed at the carlv settlement of the matters in dispute. The police re- turned to duty sooner than he de,-ir?d, and one of them caught hfm in the act cf help- ing himself from a jewellor'-s stock. "mime, guv'nor," he said, more in sorrow tfiu:i in anger, "I thought you bloomin' p'lice was- on strike." Besides jewellers, the' burglars seem to have divided their atlt-rtiott. between food shops, boolmakers, and clothiers. "All wool cloth is worth money these days Public sympathy appeared to be almost- entirely on the side of the men. who liave seen other classes of workers strike siiecess- fully, while they' themselves, averse -to- ,? ?, :t& striking, have in vain tried other ii.clhodf to secure an improvement in their condi- tions of service. The authorities have- again and again refused to re'eognis? the men's union, and at the beginning of the strike it looked as though they were going to maintain the old stiff and urr lei-lmg- attitude. The strike was douribed a "mutiny," as though the police wore s military instead of a civil force. But public opinion was on the side of tie men, and they were bound to win.' was made very promptly as soon as the whole- position was laid before the Prime Minis,t^rr. It was stated that Mr. Lloyd George ex. pressed indignation at having been kept in- ignorance of the grievances of the men. Practically the whole of th< demands have been conceded, though it looks as though, I the matter of the recognition of the union- is still in doubt. U It ie a good thing that traffic in London is not. so heavy as it was in the days oorQre the war, or there would have been some-5 scenes of confusion at busy crossings wlèt-e there was no policeman to bring order out of chaos by raising his hand. At one or two crossings "specials did their best, but not many "specials were available, and in most places traffic was left to take 1 care cf itself. On the whole it took care of itself astonishingly well, and one almost began to wonder whether the uplifted arm is necessary after all. But, as has heen. said, the traffic is not what it was, and on Saturday it is lighter than on any other' day except Sunday. Even so! I saw at one busy crossing an aeroplane on a lorty, with i motor-'buses, as it seemed io me, all round I it in inextricable contusion. But things- came all right. A good many people still it impossible to .believe in the possibility of a General ■ Election this year, or during the war. But it must, at any rate, be written dow-n as among the probabilities. Diligent students, of the liQwpapers moist have noticed that there is a good deal being done up and down the country in the way of adoption of ■- candidates. It looks ae though they aro- getting ready, The strongest argument of those who oppose the idea .of an election is that it will be impossible to confine it to the one question of the war. Other questions, • they 6ay, must come into it, questions whidi in the past have ranged party against party and caused much bitterness. They can scarcely be de'alt with now without re- awakening political partisanship, and that is. very undesirable. Cases in point will occur to everybody, and there is no need to name them here, but the fact cf their existence is a sufficient answer to those who think a General Election can be confined to the single question of the war. It sounds quite easy and simple, but it is, not possible. The new Order with regard to street light"- ing is a reminder that we ha&e come tc the turn of the year. Thanks to the late Mr. Wiilett we have not had lo trouble n-cueh about artificial light during three or four, months. But now the evenings are drawing iii; and an official intimation that curtains wiii.t be drawn at half-past eight has an autumnal suggestiveness. Presently, when we 0'0 from Summer Time to Greenwich: Time, we shall put the cl-oeks back an hour, and be fairly among the dark evenings. And t the streets are to be darker than they have 1be-?11. There is an enormous coal deficit to I be got over somehow, and public as well as private lighting has to be further reduced. In (suburban districts the authorities have for a long time practised the most rigorous ecoiiomv in street lighting. In fact, some areas have had no street lighting since the winter of 1914. In Central London, however, there is a point below which "lighting can. not be reduced with safety to the public. Let us hope the coming winter will be something milder than that of 1916-17. If net, travellers and others who spend much time in hotels will have much ado to keep themselves warm. "Well-lighted and well- heated hotels and restaurants will be un- known this winter," says an ofiicia! an- nouncement. Proprietors are urged to econo- mise in every way possible by the careful use bf coal, gas, and electricity, and the public are ariked not to ask for fire and light that can possibly be done without. 'Only invalids can be allowed tires in bedrooms now, whether in hotels or at home. The Coal Controller points out to proprietors of hotels and caterers that they must not set a bad examplb to hpuseholders, who are ex- pected to do everything they can to save fuel and light in their own homes. There is much talk of substitutes for coal. I fancy people her-bouts would not take very kindly to peat, even if they could get it, but they are willing and anxious to use wood, and hoping for a share in that million tons of firewaod expected to' be available. A. E. M.

I Elizabeth Meach, of Boyd-road, Custom House, London, E., was nned JE1 at West Ham for abusing a woman employee of the local food control committee who was assailed by a hostile crowd when on duty. Captain J- Kenneth Varvill, of Newcastle Drive. Nottingham, who has betii awarded the Military Cross, is one of iour brothers who each now possess this distinction. He iB attached to the East Lancashire Regiment.

,pr" OUR SHORT STORY. 1 ENOUGH SAID. I  Br JOHN J. ARMSTRONG. I ,I li "It isn't as if the boss isn't doin' better .himself," groused Jobkins. "We know dif- ferent. He's had to pay the hands a thump- in' advance to hold 'em. We chaps in the office are fobbed out with a bit extra fur overtime. I'm absolutely on the rocks." "Y ou don't know you're alive," asserted Robottom. "Put yourself in my place with a wife and two kiddies, and you'll Ulldel'-I stand wby there's a fringe on my trousers." "The missus tells me margarine is up -another penny," moaned Potts. "I haven't smoked for weeks," groaned Merry lees. "What do you think about it, Jimmy?" Dew, who was leaning over his ledger, started at tho direct question, and nervously wiped his specs. A direct question always fiustered Jimmy; the responsibility of re- turning a direct reply appeared to be too much for him. We were none of us muc-h to boast of m the way of aswertiveness, but Jim Dew was the meekest chap 'that ever held down a job. "The guv'nor is-well, you know what he is," he stammered. "I think it would be foclish to raise the matter, with girls so plentiful and cheap. I wouldn't advise it, really. He is so headstrong." You got a wife and kiddies, ain't you?" snorted Potts. "Four, isn't it?" put in Mcrrylees. James sighed. "Well, don't she tell you things?" said Robcbtom. "Don't she. say, What's n,i,' like a roomful cabby, when vou hand over the Bradburys on Sa tUl'davs yh Jimmy firge-rcd his collar. Some- of us who had met Mrs. Jimmy could well imagine that his home life, under the stress, was emphatically not a bed of roses. "Living is very difficult," he said woe- fully. "The wife tells me they asked her fourpence for a small cabbage." "Well, something's got to be done," in- sisted Eobottom. "There's no sense in pay- ing excess profits duty and starving the staff. What Jim says is possibly right. Any one of us tackling the boss on his own is inviting tho sack. But what about a de- putation?" "That's the card," agreed Jobkins. "He can't fi-r2 the lot. I vote we pull matches for the honour. That agreed? Righto! In turn of seniority, please. Jimmy, you're nearest the pension. You break." "I don't like it," protested diffident James. "I would much rather you left me out. He can be so brutally inhuman, and I am so unlucky at this sort of thing." On the words he pulled a match, and con- sternation shot- into his face. His bad luck held. He had found the spent one. Jobkins thumped him on the back, while all of us laughed. We did not wish nervy Jim any harm, but it was distinctly a relief to I "that some other fellow was c:)t for the Daniel act. "Very well, cntlemen Holding him£df together with 'tain effort, he waJked up-' ,e i-I p The result proved unexpected. Two minutes sufficed to send him back again. One loak at his twitching features and Potts went to the filter to draw him a glass of waW, .'«1tc wants you up—the lot of you!" he gasped. "Mugged it, by gosh!" ejaculated Robot- tom. Don't, for goodnessJ sake, anger him further by delay!" begged Jim. 06 situation. Jobkius took hold of the situation. "Are we slaves or freeborn Britons?" he a,skoo. "Let's to it!" Silently, like prisoners filing into the dock, we trooped upstairs, to range our- selves against the wall of the private office. The fiery guv'nor, with face the colour < ? beetroot, and rolling eves, stood with L-s I 'fle had the loo.Ic c' back to the fireplace. He had the look of wishing to grab us in turn and break VI) over his knee. "What's this infernal nonsense?" he shcV out. "D'y' think I'm h. be intimidated, •eh t By gad, I'll show the lot of you!" "With all respect, sir," said Jobkins. "Silence!" snapped the V, nor. doin' the talkin'. This mouthpiece of yours asks for another ten per cent. increase all round." (Jimmy had been distinctly modest.) c, You don't get it. This business is not a charity organisation. The salary figure is already too high. I can save on every man jack of you, and, by gad, I'll do it." "The point is-" ventured Jobkins. "The point is that a girl can do your work," thundered the guv'nor. "A set of fools: After nearly three years of it ycu don't appear to realise the country's at war. Sacrifice? Not if you can help it. Take it out of the boss—that's the talk. Hang the lot of you for a selfish crew. Doesn't it strike you that I have to go without every blessed day?" X ot much!" was the thought of every one of us, but we didn't dare to say it. Get back to your stools, and let me hear no more of this!" he ordered. We turned, feeding pretty cheap, when, to; our amazement, Jimmy took the fioor. "I w-wisli you'd, tell that to my w-wife," 1 he blurted. "Teil it to your wife!" The guv'nor snorted his disgust. "A nice request that from a man! Can't make his own woman understand she's expected to play her part. Pah! You haven t the backbone of a worm. W "I admit thqt I have found a difficulty," cwned Jim feebly. "Mine understands, I can assure yon." rapped out the irate boss. "I fancy two minute.s with me would convince yours or any ether fool. Get to your work, the pack of you, and clear your addled brains!" Back in the office we slunk each to- his place, dejected at the ghastliness of the failure. Nobody spoke. there seemed noth- ing profitable to be said. Sadly we took up our work. The silence was broken by Jim. "Did I understand correctly that he termed my wife a fooi?" he inquired. "A hunks like him is a b-iot on fair. created earth growled Jobkins. And as that seemed fairly adequate the meeting was with him. Because, as he explained it, the missus could feed the lot on what it would oost him at a cookshop, Jimmy went home to his mid-day meal. When he returned he seemed to he a trifle concerned. "Most distinctly she is not," he informed his ledger. "I thought it well to mention the incident. It would not surprise me if-1 if He stepped just there and resumed hp. posting. "By gosh, I wish she would! let out Jobkins. She did. At three o'clock the guv'nor returned from lunch, cigar on as usual. At five minutes past three Billy went to the door, to sidle up to Jimmv with a grin and whisper that Mrs. Dew had called to see the principal. Jim slid off his stool and walked hesitatingly to the ante-room. "Nothing rash, S'lina," we heard him nrp-e in pleading tones. "Consider what maov depend on——" "'Mind your own businesswe caught the sharp xetort. "Send that lad up with my name." Billv- went with unusual alacrity. Theguv'nor did not keep her waiting. Like a shot- he was out. "Come in here, madam," he snapped, in- viting her into the general office with in- tent to show us all how he would deal with her. The lady—a email, spare, and sharp-fea- tured body, plainly dressed—promptly ac- cepted the invitation. There was a glint iu her eye as she calmly surveyed us that looked promising. Before the guv'nor could open the offensive she tackled him. "I understand you expressed the desire to make clear my duty, my husband having failed, presumably owing to nly density," she said. "He had bread and cheese, a pickled onion, and a glass of water for his dinner. What did you have?" The guv'nor stiffened at that, while the purple shot into his beefy face. "I am not interested in your menus, he rapped out. "The point is-" "The point you wish to impress is that sacrifice is the duty of all," sho took him up. "You needn't enlarge on that to any- body here. They know all about it. What you appear to ignore is the fact that when it comes to proper sustenance there is a dividing line above which the man with sufficient income feels no sacrifice. Many things formerly regarded as necessities are now debarred to us as luxuries. Are they to you ?" | "You talk like a confounded gramo- phone," blustered the guv'nor. "Will you allow me "The point is that two pounds a. week will not keep a family of six decently, as any- body with an ounce of reason would admit," she went on, beautifully unconcerned at his step dance. You choose to be offensive," he raved. "Allow me to tell you, madam-" "Plain speaking is often an insult to the unthinking," she said. As an employer 1 should have thought you would have realised the man who feels himself under- paid will do no more than he can help. Consideration is always worth while: in the ca;»e of your staff consideration is not asked for, but merely fair treatment." The r- ;uv'p-c,r thumped his open hand with his clenched fist. Contradiction at any time was bad for his health; to be unable, to get a word in edgeways was simply the straight drive to apoplexy. "What in thunder d'you mean by allow- ing this talking machine to come herer he raged at poor Jimmy. "I really do think, S'lina-" ventured Jim mildly. "Rubbish!" she cut him short. Mive,iy the man is not frightened to face a little woman. H Fright-frighned It was posi.t,i. vel,y dangerous to smile, but one or two of us couldn't help it. "I want a lesson in economics, she fol- lowed him up. "I want to know your modest- id (Hi of providing for six." "My good person, my name is not Mary Ann," jerked out the guv'nor. "The ques- tion is preposterous. I can understand now why your husband yawns of mornings. Be- gad. he has my sympathy That was rather, a nasty one, but doughty Sclina was not to be put off her game by any personal remarks. Fixing him with her steely eye she fumbled in her handbag. "Have the goodness to criticise this list." she said. "My idea of the irreducible mini- mum for the father of four, who has to keep up the appearance you require of ycu:' book-keeper." The guv'nor flapped his hands. "Hang your blessed "list!" he 6nsppsd. 1 "Take it away. "Oh, come, W be fair," she chided. "Yoa wouldn't like these men to think you are not open to reason." He snatched it from her hand. "I want you to show me where we're spending too much," Phe said. "Rent, 8s. 6d. Is that too high?" Meat, bread, groceries, milk—she took him through the Tot, with caustic question- ing on each item. It took her full ten minutes by the clock. At the end cf it he was as near gibbering as makes no matter. "Any complaints?" she asked. I. Ave ii, now, let me add present-day costs and vvc 11 demonstrate, I hope to conviction, what your l two pounds means wifh bread at Vd., mar- garine' at Is. 2d., and the scrag end of mut- ton at over Ie. Most everything is propor- tionately higher, some things four times as much. Another 10 per cent. all round the office would possibly cost you £ 100 per year. It wculd mean little to you; what it would mean to us I think I've shown. If I haven't I'll <,xplain more fully." The guv'nor held up his bands. Just for the moment I almost expected him to shout "Kamerad I "Not for a thousand pounds!" he yelled. "It'll be a cheap let-off, by gad!" Molina snapped her bag. "I was certain you would prove amenablo to reason," she said. "Jf things., get worse I shall not hesitate to approach you again." "Worse J" guggled the guv'nor, turning on the, stairs to tke a final murderous look at her. "My hat!" None of 'U8 saw him again that afternoon until we were filing off home. To save his face he had to have a parting fling. "That stands, but, by gad, I'll expect you to earn it!" he snapped. "As I for you, Dew, I'm dashed well sorry for any poor beggar with an infliction like yours." "I don't know," murmured Jimmy, when the door had slammed. "What say you, friends?" What we said didn't exactly convey sym- pathy. It was felt that Mrs. Jimmy should be specially taken care of for the dura- tion.

I THE RELIGION OF SLAVS. 1 A deep religious instinct seems to be in- born with the Slav peasants, both Russian and Pole. The only difference in the form of his religion, for practically all the Polos are adherents of the Church of Home. The Slav temperament seems to ICe particularly susceptible to religious impressions, and de- votion to the Church reaches a leg-ree for which :;t, is difficult to End analogies in any other part of modern Europe. In the daily liE, of the Polish peasant the name of Christ and the Virgin win be heard repeatedly. He would not think of living in a house i that had not been blessed by a priest. A manufacturer would find it difficult to keep his hands if the factory had not been blessed. A theatre would die from lack of patronage if the priestly blessing had been denied the building. The Pole is probably the most faithful of all the adherents of the Church of Rome. ■ ■■■ ♦

t CHOCOLATES AS BRIBES. I At Old-street Police-court, Ida Lilian Carter, nineteen, until recently employed as clerk by the Stepney Tribunal, was sen- tenced to one month's imprisonment in the second division for forging the signature of Robert Abrabrelton, Clerk to the. Tribunal, to a blank certificate of exemption. It was stated at a previous hearing that the girl had access to the blank certificates and to r stamp bearing a facsimile of Mr. Abrabrelton's signature; also that the girl clerks .were in the' habit of receiving pre- sents of sweets and 'chocolates from young men. Notice of appeal was given, and the de- fendant was released on bail.