OUR SHORT STORY. I i SENT TO COVENTRY. I In our village we are afflicted with—I'm going to be brutally frank and call a spade a 6pade-with an old fool name o' Kiah Simson. lie's a blot on the landscape; a public nuisance; an ambulatory annoyance— that's what the parson coughed up; a holy terror; a—well, all sorts of things like that, you know. We're fajr gravelled for suitable epithets—new ones, 1 mean. Kiah, you see, has nothing to do, so he hangs about the place annoying deceLt folk with his frontal remarks, has back answers, his perverted proverbs, and his general tnckincss. And when I set it down that neither the esquire's acres nor the parson's cloth give them exemption from Kiah's tongue you can guess that we are not spared. An instance or two. The other morning a commercial traveller, a friend of mine, who had had to utay the night in the vitlage because lie couldn't get out of it—our last train is now the 6.25!— was hurrying to the station, and met Kiah ambling back with the morning paper. Kiah, by the way, gets hit; paper half an hour before we get ours. One of his uephews is a guard on the up express, and he pitches out a paper for his confounded uncle as the train rattles through the cut- ting Good jiewfl?" awked my friend, easing up. "Aye!" cackled Kiah. "News be terrible good to-day." "I suppose you couldn t sell me your paper, could you? I've got a long journey ahead, and it's u bit slow without a paper." Vou can Javc 'un for sixpence," said Kiah. "Terrible good news there be in it." My friend paid, got the paper, opened it, scanned the pages, and then snapped: "Why, you old scoundrel, theses no news at alU" No news is good news,' ain't i. t?„ chuckled the old sinner, and ambled off with his profit of iivepence. Aiinoyjii,(,wliat" I believe it was the same morning that Kiah met Farmer Green. that worthy being on hi", way to face the local bench for the crime of moving a pig out of a prohibited area. "Nasty morning," the farmer had greeted, not uncordially. "Think so?" Kiah had replied. "I m ex- pectin' it'll be a fine, day for you, somewhere about twelve," he added with all oflensive chuckle. And, sure enough, it was a fine day for Farmer Green somewhere about twelve. A2 J was the fine and 15s. the costs' Smati wonder -was it that at the next meeting of the parish council Farmer Green moved a, resolution: "That Kiah Simson be requested to leave the parish, not being wanted by nobody." It would, grammar and all— Farmer Green knows all there is to know about farming, but nothing of anything else —havp been carried with acclamation, but the chairman with great—very great—regret was obliged to rule it out of order. Then it was that Farmer Green wrote a letter to the "County Tunes" asking for ad- vice as to how a man like Kiah was to be treated. In his "Replies to Correspondents" column the editor eaid: "J. G. <Mudgbrd).—We suggest that you combine to send the person to Coventry for a time. An excellent plan with nuisances, and nearly always effec- tive. It would deprive him of all oppor- tunity of making back answers,' and rapidly bring him to his senses. Try it, and let us know results There followed-I learnt all this later—an interview with Kiah. You ain't never thought o' taking a holiday, have you, Kiah. There'a no place like 'omc,' said Kiah. Ave I But a change is good sometimes. Ever heard of Coventry? It's a tine place, they tell me, an' full of old gentle- men like you. You'd take to it wondert uf." "I've 'ard about it," admitted Kiah, cau. tiously. "Well, would you like to go there for a spell? It's like this, Kiah," said Farmer Green .with well-assumed heartiness. You ain't looking like you used to, an' it's worrvin' us. The village wouldn't be the same if you wasn't here. You keep 11.6 all cheerful an' laughing. If you was to die, Kiah, just for want of a change, wed never forgive ourselves. You're an institu- tion, Ki.h-that's what you are! "Itfs a long way to Coventry, Mr. Green, an' the same way back," said KI ah. "But I've often thought I'd like to go. It's the lare-- We'll have a whip-round for that, so as you can go without it costing you any- thing. We'll miss you, Kiah. It won't be out u' flight an' out o' mind, as one of them proverbs of yours says1 lIa, ha!" Absence makes the 'cart grow fonder —an' sometimes o' somebody else," said Kiah. "But if that whip-round comes oil all right I'll get to that there Coventry right awav." The whip-round was surprisingly success. ful, and Kiah was sent to Coventry, with his fare paid and three pounds nine and fourpence in his pocket. And Farmer Green wrote to the "County Times":— "Much obliged for the advice you gave me. He has been sent to Coventry like you said hopiug he will be cured like you naid." It so happened that the parson waa away when this Coventry business was worked. Otherwise On his return it wasn't long before he missed Kiah, and was referred to Farmer Green for explanations. "We'd 'ad enough of the old sinner," saio the farmer, "so I took a bit of advice on the matter, an' we've sent him to Coventry 'oping it'll cure the old nuisance." "Not at all a bad idea," said the parson "Kiah certainly needs to restrain thai tongue of his What does he dc now you've sent him to Coventry—stay in doors all day?" "Dunno and don't care. Any rate, he went last Friday. We had a whip-round for his fare—thirty-eight an' six. Pretty stiff. but it was worth it." 1 "He went?" cchoed the parson, puzzled. I "Whip-round—paid his fare? 1 don't under- stand." Thereupon Farmer Green told the full story, and the parson had hysterics. Laughed until the tears chased themselves down his cheeks and round his neck and met the other side. "Would you mind walking away a bit?' he asked the parson. "I want to say some. thing, and it' s better not 'c..rd--llot by a clergyman." The parson obliged. And it may be taken as proof that what the farmer said was-well, appropriate tc the occasion, when it has to be set down that little Tommy Grummit, who was picking primroses on the other side of the hedge, ran screaming to his mother, had two fits in succession, and has never been the same bright child since. "That's better," 6aid Farmer Green when he returned, wiping his mouth. "Wonder what the tarnation old nuisance is doin' with* himself at Coventry? He never asked why I pitched on a place for his change a I couple o' hundred away. rrook it all quite nat'ral." The parson pressed his heaving sides, and after a severe intestinal struggle got a grip on himself. "Then—er—you didn't know that Kiah'e married daughter lives at Coventry, and that he's been wanting to go and see her for some time, but the fare was "Whaf-" roared the farmer. "What's that you say?" The parson said it again—most of it, that J is, for before he had (;iiite finished he had to spring forward to catch the farmer's; lurching form and ease it, aa best he could, to the road. Kiah was at Coventry for a month, and re- turned in fine form. He said he was sorry to r Mister Green was ill with a stroke, and that, as he believed in doin' as he'd been done by, if there was a whip-round tc .elp Mr. Green 'ave a 'oliday when he was z bit better, he—Kiah—would give fourpence ■willin', and wouldn't mind goin' up to six pence if Mister Green thought bein' sent tc Coventry would do 'im any good.
CLUB WINDOW. It will be remembered that at the con- elusion of Their Majesties' holiday at Bal. moral the strike was still in progress, and the Royal party had. perforce, to journey to London by motor-car. It is not generally known th:tt at least two incidents of a minor, yet exciting, ehaiacter occurred on the trip. When in the Borderland district the Iloyal • chaulleur los', his wa y, necessitat- ing an additional fifty iniles of travelling, and then, later, the King. noticing an agri- culturist in difficulties with his motor, had his own car stopped and offered the unfor- tunate person assistance. A military motor- lorry was stopped at the King's command. and help given to the stranded one, after which his Majesty drove on. It was not until some time later that the King's iden- tity was discovered by the one who had had regal assistance. • • The second son of the King, Prince Albert, i.4 fond of telling the story of a crotchety old farmer who consulted a solici- tor about trouble with his neighbour. "I want you tor write a letter an' tell him this here foolishness has got tor stop." "Very well," said the solicitor. "What do you want to say? "Waal," answered the farmer, "begin by tellin' him that he's the blackest, lyirv'est, thievin'est, low-downest scoundrel on airth. and then work it oop." And doubtless he did. There is a good iitory told by a celebrated narley-street specialist, but who for various reasons must be nameless. A man named Smith had just been operated upon for appendicitis. During hi.s period of conva- lescence he became quite chummy with the two other patients who shared the ward flow ir(! with him. "How are you feeling, boys?' asked Smith one morning of them. "Oh, wf arc all right," they both answered together, "considering that we had to undergo twc operations." "Why, how was that?" queried Smith. "Because the doctor assigned tc this ward is an idiot. In collecting his in- struments after the operation he missed a needle and a pair of scissors. The former he found in me, and the latter in my friend here. You fcee now the reason ior the twc operations." Just then the surge-on put his head in at the door and asked: "Has any- one seen my silk hat?" Smith fainted. Ami well he might. < One always likes looking through the visitors* books at hotels, and most of us enjoy the quaintness of the entries therein made. Perhaps you may remember that which appeared in a bo^k at a hotel in 1).01. gelly, North Wales, pronounced "Dol- gethley: "Whenever you visit Dolgethley, Don't stay at the Hotel; For there's nothing to put in your bethley, And nobody answers the bell." Then again there is the somewhat unkind effusion of a would-he versifier, who tays: "The famous inn at Speenhamland, That stands lieneath the hill, May well be called the Pelican,' From its enormous bill." Whether on holiday or on business, it is always a profitable half-hour to look through the vitiitors' list. Sir George Forrest, the eminent authority on India, tells this amusing clerical story' A bishop asked a woman at the entrance to a certain town whether a mission was being held there. He was told that the previous night there had been a "grand congregation and a grand sermon." "Who was the preacher?" asked the bishop. "Father Flanagan." "And what did he preach about?" "Hell, your Reverence." "What Y ou must ilot did he tell you about it?" You must not try me too hard on that line, your Revcr. ence. But the long and short of it is—you would have tavorn he was born and bred there. One of the nicest men we have met during our career is Major Rogan, the veteran bandmaster of the British Army, who is relinquishing his office as Director of Music in the Coldstream Guards. One of his famous stones concerns a music-hall manager of the old school who once entered the place during a band rehearsal. Soft music was being played, and the trombone- player was not required. "Why ain't that chap playing?" demanded the manager. "Well, they are playing pizzicato, you see," was the explanation volunteered. "I don't care a hang what they're playing," roared the irate one. "Tell him if he cannot play pizzicato or any other dashed tune that is put in front of him, he's to get out of my baud. # Sir Philip Sassoon, the member for Hythe and one of the richest men in Britain, has recently purchased an aeroplane. Sir Philip who has always been an enthusiastic flying man, is fond of telling the story of the aviator's wife who was taking her first trip "Stop!" she cried. "I believe I havE dropped one of the pearl buttons off raj coat. I can see it glistening on the ground.' "Keep your seat, my dear," replied thc avia. tor. "That'y Loch Lotaond." That dyeing is an art is granted, and that dying is natural is--well, also granted. In this connection a good yarn is told by the irrepressible Marie Lloyd. A man friend of hers got married to a dashing brunette. A year or so later he met in the Strand a friend who had been one of the guests at the wedding, and after the first exchange of greetings he remarked, indicating a golden- haired lady who was with him: "This is my wife. You remember her, of course?" "But," stammered the other, startled out of his equanimity by the extraordinary trans- formation, "hut I thought you married a brunette." "He did," answered the lady promptly, "but she dyed." # » "Always keep on learning," says Sir Charles Parsons, the President of the British Association. Sir Charles, who is a son of the famous Earl Rosse, started life as an apprentice at the Armstrong works at Elswick in order to gain practical know- ledge of metals and machines. To-day he is head of the famous electrical and engineer- ing works at Heaton on the Tyne, and direc- tor of half a dozen electrical undertakings. He is, of course, the inventor of the steam turbine which revolutionised the Navy and ships of the mercantile marine. And yet another expedition to the South Pole. This time the leader is to he Mr. John Cope, F.R.C.S., who, with his party, will start next June, and be away five years. Scott's famous vessel, the Terra Nova, is being secured, which wili be fitted with oil engines and improved by the addi- tion of another deck. The expedition will cost at least £100,000, of which the vessel and its fittings will run away with £ 45,000. The personnel will consist ot fifty-one, and every man will have his own particular qualification.
Rev. F.' J. Lys. bursar and tutor of Wor- cester College, Oxford, has been elected Provost of the College. Offices of the National Federation ci Building Trade Operatives, it is stated, are to be established in London, with a. full-time secretary, to be appointed at a salary of .£500 a year. Mr. J. Gamble, an official in Belfast oi the Amalgamated Society of Engineers, wa, remanded on bail at Hull on a charge of misappropriating £ 10 18. and other sum.1 belonging to the society. Reading lhwl. where Oscar Wilde wrote "A Ballad ot Reading Gaol" and some of "De Profundis," is to be closed in a month's time, and the staff will be transferred to Chelmsford. The "Petit Parisien" says that according to official statistics there are in Paris 35,000 clairvoyants, fortune tellers, and seers of various kinds, who c'n the whole do a very good busiijess.
OTHER MEN'S MINDS. I It is an unfortunate faoa that every species of strike falls heavily on the motor industry.—Captain E. de Normanville. YET NOBODY CARED. -1 I regarded my retirement as a very serious I I [ matter.—Admiral von Tirpitz. EVER CHEERFUL. I If we can carry on so well for a week, why not keep it up after the strike is over? I —Mr. Edgar Rowan. SUBLIME MODESTY. I I think he took me for a railway director. I —Mr. James Douglas. ASK US ANOTHER! I What is profiteering?—Councillor Richard- son (Ashford, Kent). AN ADMIRER, EVIDENTLY. I [ We should go on our knees and thapk God for Lloyd George.—Mr. Pegg (Austra- I lian Labour M.P.). NATURALLY! I There is much less horse transport on the I roads than there was before the war.-Sir i Auckland Geddes. i SELF-SACRIFICE. I Lord Grey's unselfishness in becoming I British Ambassador at Washington .— Mr. Erelyn Cecil, M.P. EXACTLY. I It is a national duty to see that ravaged France shall revive its art, culture,-and in- dustry.—President Poincare. ———— REACTIONARY. I I advocate State purchase of the drink trade, not to perpetuate it, but to destroy it.—W. W. Lewis (Bargold Miners' agent). STILL FLAMING. I In these times cowards, pessimists, and feeble-minded folk are full of great mis- givings; but the lights of Heaven have not gone out.—Bishop of Aberdeen. I WHY? ) A town hall cannot create an atmosphere I of worship.-Bislicp of Bombay. CHEAP FEEDING. I We cannot be fed cheaply by politicians I and permanent officials.—Mr. Arthur Dam- I sell. MISINFORMED. I All the paragraphs about profiteering in I the papers are inspired.—Mr. Edmund Burke. LET'S GET BACK. i I If we get back to the gold standard it is I perfectly obvious prices must fall.—Sir A. Booth. THAT'S SET! LED. I I hope British Columbia will always be I one of the great bases of British sea power. I —Prince of Wales. UNITED. I All peoples with Anglo-Saxon blood in I their veins are now standing together.—Ad- miral Sir Hugh Rodman, U.S.A. ———— WE AGREE. I Some reaction from the war was inevit. I able, but it is more dismal than expected, and has gone far enough.—Dr. Fort- New- ton. HOW'S IT DONE? I The law prohibits traders selling cigar- ettes to boys under 16, but I have seen children of 12 smoking in the streets.—Aid. Sellens (Dover). QUITE RIGHT! If a man does not feel that he is earning I his keep he lacks that sense of self-respect and self-esteem that every good citizen should have.—Lord Burnham. AND THERE YOU ARE I I Anyone who denounces profiteering must I be in favour of loss-iteering, and anyone who advocates loss-iteering is either a I knave or a fool.—Mr. Thomas Lough. I AS USUAL. I I suppose we shall find the usual public apathy over protiteering.-M-ayor of Hol- I born. A PROPHESY. I If the present Government were got rid of a worse would take its place.—Sir Ernest Wild, K.C., M.P. SOME COMBINATION. A docker must have the agility of a monkey and the brain of a Cabinet Minister. —Mr. J. Sexton, M.P. OUR SMARTNESS. Britain, with the R34, had beaten the Germans in the type of ship which was their special pride.—Sir R. Home. WAIT AND SEE. I don't believe there will be an election this year, and I don't see how a member of Parliament can afford one.—Captain Bowyer, M.P. UTILITY. Airships and aeroplanes will be judged from the point of view of practical useful- ness, and not w a means of destruction.— Sir William Ramsay. ENCOURAGE THRIFT. Thrift should he encouraged by exempting from income-tax the interest on the savings of small depositors.—Mr. J. F. Hilton (Bir- mingham Municipal Bank.) SOME QUESTION. Other contracts are not voided because one of the parties finds he has made a bad bargain. Why. then, marriagÚ-Rev. J. R. Broughton (Oakc Rectory, Taunton). WHAT SAID THE KING? I told the King some time ago that indus- trial unrest was very largely due to the prices charged for land and royalties, which meant less money for the workers.—Mr. J. Cairns, Labour M.P.
Surgeon-General David Sinclair, who re- tired in 1904 after holding many important offices in the Indian Medical Service, has died at Edinburgh. The unusual sight of Dublin policemen holding up the drivers of motor-vehicles tc ascertain that they beld lieences aroused the curiosity of crowds as to the object of the authorities. Seven trawlers are overdue at Grimsby and it is feared the; have been lost. German shells which bombarded Rheims Cathedral laid bare the foundations and crypt of the old Frankish basilica, dating from the ninth century, on the site of which the present eathedr81 was built in the thir- teenth century.
OUR LONDON LETTER. I [From Our Special Correspondent.] I London. The Prime Minister's speech at Sheffield struck a note that cannot be sounded too often in these days. The need for greater j production is admitted on all hands, and it is pretty clear that the only way by which that need can be met is by co-operation on the part of all concerned. As Mr. Lloyd I George happily put it, we must all- capitalists and workers alike—recognise our partnership" in the great business of Great I Britain." There is only one alternative for the nation to the cementing of that unity which was built up during the war. It is ruin. There is only one alternative for Capital and Labour to that co-operation which the Premier advocates. It is class war. I gather that some people consider that Mr. Lloyd George has said enough about increased production, and desire him to say ".some new thing." The simple truth is there is nothing new to say. Every other scheme, national, industrial. social, must depend upon a recovery oi health by British industry. I may add that ,ive the Prime -Niiil,St,(,r a splendid • eception. and those who heard his speechee, there tell me he spoke with great vigour and acceptation. ALLEXBY'S WORK IN FAI.KSTINE. I I went the oth'-r -Jny to the Covent Garden Opera .,0' hear Mr. Lowell Thomas's "Travelogue" on the work of Lord Allenbv and his gallant men in Pales- tine. It happened that the deliverer of the Holy Land was present on this occasion, and a crowded house gave him a very warm welcome. Mr. Lowell Thomas's story, and the pictures by which it is illustrated, served to reveal the extraordinary charac- ter of the work which our men have done in Palestine and Arabia, permanent work of construction and progress. Railways and roads have been made, sanitation has been installed, and the land sacred for its asso- ciations for centuries among Christiall6 has derived more practical benefit from the la,b<Mrs of our engineers and other units than has accrued to it from the pilgrimages of centuries. It was not the least of Lord Alleuby's achievements that he was able to make all these improvements, and to carry out his military operations, without arous-- ing in any way, or among any of the various conflicting religions to be found in Palestine, a trace of religious fanaticism or unrest. The creeds of all were respected, and in this, as in all he did, Allenby main- tained with splendid effect the line tradi- tions of our Empire. TIIE CHURCH CONGRESS. I The Church Congre-ss at Leicester has attracted a good deal of interest, and its discussions have been hy no meaus aoufined to theological subjects. For the general public the dic«ussion which has taken place an spiritualism holds more interest than any other. I cannot see that the reverend gentle- men who dealt with this subject have taken us much "lorarder. Nobody seems to have had a good word to say for the spiritualist, and I noticed that one clergyman dated modern spiritualism from Swedenborg. I do not understand this, for whatever view one may take of the revelations of the "spiritual world" which that reniarkable man claimed to have had. it is certain that he did not L'ome by them by table-rapping or any other of the paraphernalia of the contemporary seance. Nor is it easy to comprehend what good is likely to comc from an inquiry b\ religious dignitaries into the facts as tc alleged communications with the spirit world. Pathologists, psychologists, and perhaps, expert conjUfortJ are the propei people for such all investigation. Such mer have already investIgated a vast mass of so called psychic phenomena with results th< Reverse of favourable to the spiritualist hypothesis. I confess I cannot imagine f life after this life of the kind suggested by the media. The record of the latter is one of mingled folly and fraud, and the sensible thing for the churchy and for everyone t( [10 is to be guided only by evidence. If that line were taken we should not read of West- End media being booked up for "sittings' for months ahead, and of so much absurc and dangerous attention being paid to al borts of necromantic dharlatans. RUSSIA. I The latest reports saem to show that the conditions kin Russia are on the mend. The Bolsheviks have evidently been hard hit, but opinions as to the situation in that un- happy country are so contradictory that it is very difficult to come to any conclusion as to what may be the result of such changes as have been recently reported in the military situation. I went the other dav to hear Colonel John Ward speak on this theme at the National Liberal Club. The colonel is a stickler for discipline, and he told us that as he is not yet "demobbed" it is no business of his to break the regikla- tions which seal the lips of soldiers on poli- tical matters. One thing, however, emerged, as it seemed to me with tolerable clearness from Color.el Ward's address, and that was that there has been a good deal of misunder- standing both as to the si re and as to the character of our late operations there. No doubt something will be said on this sub- ject when Parliament meets, but meantime, if Colonel Ward is anything like accurate in his views, it is plain that a good deal of the recent denunciation of the Government in connection with our military intervention in Russia was utterly destitute of justifica- tion. HOUSING PROGRESS. Dr. Addison, the Minister of Health, talked very frankly to the journalists he re- ceived the other <lay as to the progress which is being made with housing schemes throughout the country. The Minister told us, to begin with, that the Government is in no mood to lie faddy as to what materials are used in building new houses, provided they conform with the requirements of necessity and reasonable comfort. Wooden houses may lie huilt, but it seems plain that they cannot be huilt. so cheaply as has some- times been suggested. Timber is now more plentiful than it was, however, and quite good houses can be constructed of wood. Terra-cotta blocks and other materials are also being used in various places. Good progress is being made with the acquisition of houses for conversion into flats. Over a thousand such houses have been acquired in London, and there have been many volun- tary conversions on the part of houseowners in the provinces. Following the war there is, naturally, keen demand for all kinds of building. Dr. Addison said he felt that there ought to be no undue interference with the meeting of that demand, but the Ministry hopes to make arrangements to ease the situation where there is competi- tion between essential house-building and less necessary buildin"- operations. MAn" POETS. I have been reading a very interesting essay by Mr. St. John Adcock on the alleged madness of poets. It is not easy to say why the belief should be so general that to write poetry is to indicate some instability of in- tellect. Mr. Arlcoek succeeds in showing that there have been very few poets whc have been insane, or at aU events who have been certified as lunatics. Some of them would not rtem to have been inferior in in- telligence to the persons who secured their incarceration.
Rose Day in London brought in « £ 30,C48. For 59 shorthorn** X21,833 was paid at Aberdeen, the highest price for a bull being Some of the 50 foals sold at Market Bos. worth show fetched < £ 85. General Diaz, the Italian commander, is to visit London. It is estimated that the railway strike cost the South Wales c-oal trade < £ 5,000,000 In two vears Marylebone has saved ^8,09c by collecting its own refuse without em- ploying contractors. Civilian labour is to ceaee at the Milton R.A.F. depot, Beaks. j Three a-pple trees at Coombe, Surrey, are in full bioonri for the second time this year. Mr. A. F. Holden, borough surveyor and waterworks engineer of Hertford, has been appointed borough surveyor of Fulham.
EPITOME OF NEWS. Brest strike is over. Women's Legion motor drivers are to be demobilised. Marseilles shipping strihe is over. Lowestoft drifter Jeesman lost her pro- peller and sank. Crew saved. M. Stambulinski is the new Bulgarian Premier. Mr. Clynes will not attend the Labour Congress at Washington. Mr. James Martin, 21 years member of the Chertsey Council, has resigned at the age of 87. When the steamer Yenezia was ablaze at sea 139 passengers and 155 crew were rescued by the Frenc- liner Chicago. France has confer't-v: The Legion of Honour (officers' graris; ll:e Earl of Ran- furly for war work Countess Markieviva wis released from CorK gaol. having; r.vJvigonr four months' for a speech delivered .J, Newmarket, Co. Cork. LC.C. is further considering revival of the Thames steamboat service. Tenders for workmen's houses in Newport (Mon.) average £ 983. Mr. Charles Edward Dould, of Derby, owner of Spate, a former winner of the Manchester Handicap and the Newbury Cup, left £ 54,542. A sub-postmistress was bound over at Slough for two years for failing to account for £41 paid into savings bank accounts by three depositors. Major Edric Thomas Kingscote is to be Gentleman of his Majesty's Cellars. Karl Gjellerup, the Danish writer, and winner of the 1917 Nobel Prize for litera- ture, has died at Dresden. The Parliamentary agents of the N.TT.R. now receive £ 200 per annum plus the. L,ib )Il r Party allowance of £ 40. Thirteen hundred German prisoners of war have left Hull for Germany. The Army Council is stated to be consider- ing the report of a committee on uniforms which urges the simplification of officers' uniforms and the limitation cf the variety of ordws of ères. A man summoned at Willesden for being drunk said he had only been riding on a brewer's dray. A partial eclipse of the moon occurs on November 7, and a partial eclipse of the sun on November 22. Handcuffs have been removed from Sinn Fein prisoners in Mountjoy prison. Said to have had a betting slip on him, a man summoned at Willc-den. declared it was part of his iwife's laundry bill. Summons adjourned. Arrested at Tilbury when embarking for South Africa, Frederick Ernest Benny, an ex-Armv officer, wa^ committed for trial chargcd with double bigamy. Three British subjects have becomc naturalised Siamese subjects, says the Siam Government Gazette. They are Khun Phienrang-abbal, Nai Lee Keiig Seng, and Nai Ngern Dong-ngam. M. Lefevre. a deputy, has devised novel magazines for France s explosives left over from the war: they arc to be sunk in the Pyrenean lakes, say s a Paris correspondent. The Belgian Cham ber passed by 103 votes to 8 a Bill to establish an income-tax. The Board of Trade has refused to allow the charge for electricity at Ramsgate to be increased Id. per unit- A waiter who brought an action in West- minster County-court said that his "tips" when employed at a Chinese cafe in Oxfoid- street, W.. averaged k6 a week—. £ 300 a year—on which he paid no income tax. M. Ixion Bourgeois has been appointed representative of France on the council of the League of Nations. Policemen entered a Sinn Fein Club at Kilbrittain and dispersed a meeting The police fired two shots, but no one was in- jured. Oaken timbers in a perfect state of pre servation have been uncovered during alterations to a -year-old house at Harlow, Herts. The Marconi Wireless Company have arranged free classes in languages and other commercial subjects—with free tea,for their head office staff after their work. Eight hundred tons of sugar .and 100 tons of fine steel were included in the cargo cf the White Star liner Lapiand, which arrived at Southampton from New York. Remarkable scenes were witnessed at the University of Edinburgh when the scs-ion opened. The rush of freshmen was the greatest ever experienced, and they were lined up in a queue. The medical officer for East Elloc, Hol- bcach, has informed the rural council that they can do nothing to check a prevailing epidemic of dipththeria unless they pull down half the houses and rebuild them. Barking Education Committee are tc spend £50 on the purchase of boots for necessitous children in order to obtain a decision whether a local education authority is permitted to spend money in that way. To help Thanet resorts to establish a winter season, the, South-Eastern and Chat- ham Railway are maintaining non-stop ex- presses to M gate, Ramsgate, and Folke- stone. An Army Council instruction states that married officers in stations abroad other than India, who are unable to have their families with them, will be eligible to draw furniture, lodging, fuel, and light allow. ances up to March 31, 1920. The Shah of Persia will be the guest of the King from October 31 to November 4. A £10 note has been presented to each of 152 employees with over 40 years' service at Messrs. Vickers' naval construction works, Barrow. Mr. J. P. Orr has been appointed Direc- tor of Housing to the London County Council. He has had considerable housing experience in India. At Hingham, Norfolk, the American Am- bassador has unveiled a bust of Abraham Lincoln, presented to the parish by Lin- coln's descendants. Constituents of all parties sent a present to Mr. William Graham, M.P. for Central Edinburgh, who was married to Miss Ethel Margaret Dobson, of Harrogate. Westminster City Council propose to alter the name of York-street, St. James's, to Orinond-street, as there are three thorough- fares in Westminster named York-street. The London Education Committee have arranged to purchase Wanstead House, Margate, for an open-air camp school for weak and debilitated children, at an oxpen- diture of < £ 5,850. I The christening of the twin son and I daughter of Mr. W. J. Long, a mage schoolmaster near Leighton Buz7.ard was attended as sponsors by two parishioners who are also twins. Eton Guardians have received from a former asylum inmate -66 10s., the differ- ence between the sum paid by his relatives and the actual cost of his keep; he had saved the money by coal economy. A proposal made by the Metropolitan Dis- trict Railway Company to the Westminster Citv Council to prevent people climbing the I railingi at Trafalgar-square Station by the use of sheet iron and barbed wire is charac- terised as "objectionable" in the Council's reply. Mr. McCurdy, Parliamentary Secretarv to the Ministry of Food, is to be chairman of the committee which is to consider the working of the London wholesale markets and their influence on focA prices. Moscow Soviet has decijaed to distribute to needy workmen all warm clothing pledged in the pawnshops. Mr. James Martin, for 21 years member of the Chertsey Urban District Council, hat resigned at the age of 87. More than < £ 30,000 was realised at the sale of the Duke of Sutherland's Trentham estate, Staffs, bringing the total for the twe days to £ 163,480.
MOBBING THE REF. REGRETTABLE INCIDENT AT WOLVER- HAMPTON. Much excitement was caused at the tel- mination of the match at Molineux grounds between Wolverhampton Wanderers and Bury on Saturday last. With only about four minutes to go the game was stopped through the crowd surging on to the play- ing pitch and mobbing the referee, Mr. S. A. Lowe, of Liverpool. There were various incidents leading up to the final outburst of anger, and at times there was comment respecting decisions, but no one for a moment could have dreamt that spec- tators would so lose control of themselves as to break in and assail the individual against whom criticism gradually became warmer and warmer. The concession of a corner kick to Bury when there seemed to be no j>os.-ible shadow of doubt that the ball v.as shot by a visitor from 30 or 35 yards range wide of the mark was hooted vociferously. A subsequent penalty kick to Bury was justified, and it was eleverlv saved. It was when a further penalty kick was conceded about five minutes from the end of the stipulated period for play that the storm broke. It looked to be an incorrect decision, and especially when the referee himself seemed to be in such doubt about it that he con- sulted a linesman on the point, says the "Bailv News." The ball was placed for the kick, but before it was taken spectators rushed from their places and prevented further progress. The referee, seeing trouble, made a dash for the dressing-rooms, but fell and was in danger of being hurt. Directors of the local club and players went to his assistance, but he did not reach a place of safety until he had been injured on his he"d and had had his coit torn. At the time play censed Bury were lecd- ing by one goal to nothing.
THE "SUPREME" LADY. AMERICA'S TRIBUTE TO BELGIUM'S QUEEN. The King and Queen of the Belgians have been in America., and, ad was only to have been expected, the Yankees have found out something we did not know before. According to a message from New York, the Queen of the Belgians is said to be the supreme type of feminine physique. This verdict is that of Dr. Joel Goldthwait, lec- turer in physical developpient at Smith College, one of the most exclusive of Ameri- can universities for vjoi-lei. Because a irl is slender, it does not necessarily mean that she's weak," said Dr Goldthwait. "There's the Queen of the Belgians, for example. That little, slender body of her., went through all the strain and stress of more than four years of war. She stood it splen- didly, because she knows how to hold her- self erect, through her slender, well-tt-aiiicd body. Her beautifully-built hgure is of the same type a-s the best Smith College girls. She is supreme."
RUSHOLME ELECTION. COALITION CANDIDATE RETURNEE WITH MAJORITY OF 2,982. The result of the by-election for thi Rusholme Division of Manchester was de- clared as follows:— Captain J. H. Thorpe (Co.U.) 9.394 Dr. R. Dunstan (Lab.) 6.412 Mr. W. M. Pringle (L.) 3.923 Capt. R. B. Crewdson (N.P.) 815 Coalition majority over Lab. 2.9S2 The election was caused by the death o- Mr. R. B. Stoker ("Co.U.). The figures al the General Election last December were:- Mr. R. B. Stoker (Co.U), 12.417; Mr. W Butterwerth (Lib.), 3,699; Mrs. Pethicl Lawrence (Lab.), 2,985. Coalition maj. ovei Li-b., 8,748.
HOARD OF GOLD. S10,000 FOUND IX DEAD MAXS HOUSE. rive bags of gold, containing from X8,000 to £10,000. have been discovered in a house in Sutherland-road. Bow, occupied by Mr. Asher Levy, 86. a retired fmiit mer- chant. The discovery came to light at the in- quest on Mr. Levy, who was knocked down and killed by a motor "bus while he was crossing Roman-road. His housekeeper stated that he always insisted on going out alone. A verdict of "Accidental death was returned. The bags of gold were removed by Mr. Levy's solicitor from the house to the bank. Relatives and also the police were aware that ?vlr. Levy kept larpe sums of money in the house, but did not know the amount.
ACROSS ARABIA I BRITISHER'S EXPERIENCES AMONG I THE BEDOUINS. Particulars are to -hand of a remarkable iourney across Arabia made by Mr. H. St. 7. Philby, a British political officer, who has accomplished what no other Englishman has done. For over two months he lived in the capital cf the king of Central Arabia, a pure Arab of the Bedouin type. Mr. Philbv was the first European to liv, in his palace, and was extraordinarily well treated, although he found the people gener- ally suspicious. In the cour.,e of his journey south he discovered the largest surface of water yet known in Arabia. It was described as the bottomless pit. but its extent was only three-quarters of a mile in ividth bj one quarter across.
HENDON TRAGEDY. I CONVICTION OF BIGGIN QUASHED. f The Court of Criminal Appeal hai- quashed the conviction of Arthur Johr iggin, aged eizhteen, of(,r manslaughter, in connection with the Hendon wine-shop tragedy, and ordered him to be set at liberty. The ground of appeal wa« that the Cri- minal Evidence Act, 1898, had not been complied with by reason of the cross-exami- nation of Bigg-in by Sir Richard Muir. at the trial at the Central Criminal Court, where Mr. Justice Darling sentenced him tc twelve months' hard labour. Questions put to Biggin, it was contended bv his counsel, involved the suggestion of another offence. I —
THANET ELECTION. I L Sir Walter de Frcee, who has very large business interests in music-halls, and was- knighted for services to the Ministry of Pensions, is mentioned as probable Conser vative candidate for Thanet. The Hon. Esmond Harmsworth, aged 21 zon of Lord Rothermere and nephew of Lord Northcliffe, is the "Anti-Waste" candidate and Captain W. J. West. ex-Mayor of Bat- tersea, will stand in the Liberal interest.
YOUNG REPORTERS BRAVERY. I t s In Woolwich Cemetery, a marble cro^s haf been unveiled bv the Bishop of W oolwich tc James Harvey Dale, lG. 1 journalistic pupil who, fatally injured in a street accident and in agony, handed his "copy" to a bystander and asked him to take it to his employers, as it was "very important."
DEADLOCK IN THE COTTON TRADE I A deadlock arose at Manchester in the negotiations to secure an increase of wages for operative bleachers, dyers and finishers. Notices to cease work cn November 1 are to be served. 00,000 workers, chiefly em- ployed in the cotton trade, are affected by 1 the decision.
I FUN AND FANCY. Fish Dealer: How shall I Ecr.-d those cod fish?" Customer: "C.O.D." Gent: Is there anv &: up on the bill of w as, sir, ba; I wiped it off. ,I-i xN- v e, a(,-i- a good case? Clerk: "Good for ,housand She: "I'll have more to do with vou. Leave mv presence!" He: "I didn't know you gave me anv. Patient: "I wonder what makes my eyes so weak? Unsymrjathjiie Doctor: "I don't know, unie^s they're in a weak place." The Maie Brute: "I think that- women are much be Iter-loo king than men." She; "Naturally." 0 artificially." Mother: "How did your face get that strained, agonised look in your photograph? Did the light hurt your eyes?" Small Son: m a. The man tuid me to sit quite still, an' I did." "Dorothy, you get voar pretty hair from vour mother, don't you? "I don't know, but I think I must 'a' get it from papa, Hits is all gone." She: "You s houldn't squeeze my hand go- ing out of the theatre. \hen I wueez,'d back I meant you to ston squeezing. He: "Me? I—why, I-I cidut touch your hand Jimmie (who has to -tand in the corner as punishment): "Oh, bother! T widl we lived in a lighthouse! Y ou sav you had tn give the patient chloroform twice?" "Ye- rcr)!ied the den- tist. "I had to give it to him the second time to extract the money." Caller: "It's a good thing to teac h your hov the v-iliie of money, as VOU ate doing. Host: I don't kmw. He used to behave himself for twopence, but now lie de- mands at least threepence! "Aren't you paving too much rent for this studio, old iiiaii, No: but 111 ad- mit that the rent is too high." "Robbie, said the visitor kindly, have you any little brothers and ,-isters? "No," replied wee Robbie solemnly: "I'm all the children we've got. "The hairs of our head* are all numbered, vou know." "So are the motor-cars: but ihat doesn 't prevent cither from going fast." Mrs. Nrggin: Why are vou so later I thought you said vou wcie only going round the corner to have a word with Mr. Brown. Naggin: "So I did. dear: but the poor fellow does stutter so." "Something- happened to me yesterday that will never happen to ir.e again if I live to be a thousand yeas cd." remarked Gil- gan to" Smith. "hz.t. tbat?" .f I was forty years old." Homeless: I've called about the flat ad- vertised." Mrs. Binns: "Well, I did mean to let it. hut since I've read the house- agent's description of it, I really feel I can't part with it." "The points in Brown's speech about the Russian question were well taken, I thought." "Yes! most of them from other men. I He: What would you say if I were to throw a kiss at you? She: T'd say you were the laziest man I've ever met." Miss Howler: "Did my voice fill the draw- ing- room?" Frank: "No.: it filled the sup- I per-room and the conservatory." I Willie: "Pa, do all orange blossoms pro- duce oranges? Mr. Phumiey • "Not all of » them, my son; some orange blossoms pro- duce olive branches." "Well, you ,-hor.id be thankful your hus- band can't play golf at night," said the sympathetic neighbour to a gOlf widow. "I (,():I t "He talks about it then." Diner: "What's this stuff? Waiter: "Mock-turtle soup. sir. that cook of b L, mockery too tar." Mother: "I expect yvur husband will .be glad to see ycu." Daughter: "George is al- ways delighted when J < ,ae home, i ou see, I leave the bahy w:tn lum." He: "Are you to have Mr. and Mrs. Meene to dinner this winter?'* She: • We certainly aie. I shan't rest until I get even with them i< r the last one they gave us. Mrs. Smith: I'm rather ^usriicioas cf our new cook—she beh >vc so strangely. Mr. 'Smith: "Why? What does she do?" Mrs. Smith: she goes on as if she thought the whole house • belonged to -,Ye Jones: l'ilev, How can you smoke such cigars as this one y.(j've given me?" Bones: "I caii" That's the one you gave me yesterday." Employer (pcinpou-iyi: "We need brains in this .business. Applicant (calmly); "I know you do. The business shows it."
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