South Wales Echo

MEDICINES, ELASTIC STOCKINGS, CHEMICALS, DRUGS, &c., by parcel post, under lib, 3d, Kay Bros., Stockport. 213 KAY'S COMPOUND, for Colds and Coughs. Sold throughout the Warli. Is 1..1 9d &c.. Kay Bros., Stockport. 213 KAY'S COMPOUND, for Coughs and Colds, is equally serviceable for Horses and Cattle, 9jd, is lid, and ?a qd. 213 THE VERY BEST! "I have examined the Pills known as KERNICK'S VEGETABLE PILLS. I certity their composition to be purely vegetable. I have also tried their effect, aud consider them one of the best Aperient Pills for consti- pated habits that I know of. (Si,-iiecl), JCIIN BALBIRNIE, M.A., M.D." 166 Sold by all Chemists, in 7d, 134(1, and 2s 91t bexees

r MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE. The police authorities at the stations of Brixton and Camberwel! are at present engaged in prose- cuting inquiries respecting the disappearance of a person named John Bradford, which has taken place under suspicious circumstances. Mr Brad ford is a retired tradesman in easy circumstances, being the leaseholder of seven or eight houses, in one of which, 21, Wingrove-street. Lough- borough-junction, ho had up to the time of his disappearance on Wednesday resided. His age is 65, and according to the discription which has been circulated by the police, he is of middle stature, with grey hair and beard, and was dressed at the time he was last seen in a blue pilot jacket, with a brown cord vest and tronsers. For some little time past Mr Bradford had evinced symptoms of weak intellect, and seemed to be especially troubled in regard to money matters, although there appears to have been no ground for his apprehensions, seeing that he was in possession of a sum of money amounting to about L75 in gold and silver, which he was in the habit of carrying about with him in a canvas bag and exhibiting to people. So recently as Saturday last he--was walking about the neighbourhood of Loughborough Junc- tion and Coldharbour-lane, carrying his money bag in his hand and chinking the coin it contained in a manner that attracted the attention of several persons. He was spoken to on the subject and warned to be more cautious, especially by the woman who acted as his housekeeper in Wingrove- street. He, on that occasion, expressed great apprehensions as to his poverty, and also appeared in a state of alarm on account of inability to pay his ground rents, which, however, formed only a very insignificant proportion to his income. On the day before he left home he was walking, a,bout the house with a razor, and seemed to- be in a very strange and distracted state of rrhnd, which, however, had on several occasions been .the case during the last three or four months. On Wednesday he left the house, and after waiting about in the neighbourhood for three or four hours he finally disappeared, and has not been seen since. It, is not known with certainty whether he had the money in his possession at the time. As he was never known to be absent for so long a period before, information was imme- diately furnished to the police-station at Camber- well-green, and his description, together with the circumstances attending his departure, was circu- lated among all the police-stations in the metro- polis. He is known to have been strictly tem- Pe^te in his habits, and was not a freqlRnter of public-houses. He appears to have had no relatives living, and his wife died six or seven years ago, leaving no children. A woman whom he had adopted, and who has since married, is, however, at present resident in, the Walworth- road, and it was thought that ha might have gone to her house..Thither she nor her husband, however, nas'i|fay knowledge as to his where- abouts, and it is feared that some harm has befallen him. befallen him.

EXTRAORDINARY PROCEEDINGS AT A YORKSHIRE WEDDING. A Woman Acting as Parish Clerk. On Tuesday a very unusual occurrence was wit- nessed by a large congregation who had assem- bled in the Mexbro' parish church, to see the wedding of a Miss Dodsworth, of Mexbro', to a Mr Fleet, of Birmingham. The vicar, the Rev. H. Ellershaw, M. A., was in the vestry at the hour appointed, and the bride and bridegroom and friends were duly prepared for the ceremony. The parish clerk, Mr Lovett, had not, how- ever, turned up, and to the 8llrJn.jse of everybody, a Mrs Dunk, ths church cleaner, went, Prayer-book in hand, to the front of the chancel rails, taking up a position by the side of the young couple, about to be joined in wedlock. This had apparently been arranged by the vicar, for the rev. gentleman proceeded up the aisle, and at once commenced the service. But, instead of solemnity, the proceedings were provocative of mirth, and the ludicrous nature of the situation fully aroused the risible susceptibi- lities of all excepting the clergyman and the two in front of him. The vicar treated the matter with perfect serenity of mood, but mortification was depicted on the countenances of of the affianced. The cletner was the reverse of that condition her- self,and appeared as though she had just come from the midst of her domestic duties. A jacket, through which she had not taken the trouble to rplftce her arms, dangled over her shoulders the remainder of her attire was of that indifferent character adopted by some house wives when they are "throng." She thus stood before the congre- gation with the Prayer Book in hand, uttering the Amens and other portions of the service devolving upon the clerk in a voice particularly audible. Just as she was in the midst of the per- formance, and apparently much appreciating the honour, the clerk entered the edifice, almost breathless, having, as he said, accidentally heard of the wedding. Astonished at what he saw, he took a seat at the back of the church, curiously noting how she went on." The couple were eventualty declared man and wife, and the cere- mony ended. The affair has caused rather a sensation.

TERRIBLE DYNAMITE EXPL0- i SION IN IRELAND. A Man Blown to Pieces. At Carrickfergus, on Friday evening, whilst a young man nmed John Hodkinson was heating some dynamite cartridges for blasting purposes, the cartridges exploded with fearful force, ahnost wrecking the house, and inflicting such terrible injuries upon the man that he died soon after- wards. Deceased's left hand was blown clean off, and has not yet been recovered.

7-777- GAS EXPLOSION AT PORTH. A House Wrecked. An explosion of gas occurred in a house at York- place, Porth, on Friday evening, and injured a woman. It appears the gas leaked into the sewer, and so got conducted under the fireplace, where it exploded, shattering the fire place, wrecking that house, and damaging the house adjoining. The landlady of one of the houses was seriously injured. Great excitement prevailed in the district.

A DESPERATE POACHER. "Attempt to Murder a Constable. I Jonathan Sharpe, a notorious poacher, was arrested at Maidenhead on Friday, on the charge of desperately assaulting Police-constable Winch, early on Wednesday morning. The constible, met Sharpe at a lonely spot at Winkfield, and, suspecting him of poaching, attempted to search him. Sharpe offered a determined resistance, and after felling the constable to the ground with the butt-end of a gun made his escape for the time.

I FEEL SO WEARY AND TIRED" Is the exclamation of many whom we daily meet, yet they never pause to think or reflect upon the cause of this feeling. It may arise from sluggish vitd impure" blood,' which, if neglected, is the forerunner of serious and chronic disorders. This weary and tired feeling is nature warning us that there is something wrong, which must be set right, or a long and lingering illness will speedily follow. What does nature require to throw off this weary and tired feeling? She requires to have new life and energy imparted to all the organs of the body, and the best means to do so is to take "Gwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters," which purifies the blood, and imparts new life and energy. It is invalu- able to those who are suffering from affections of the chest, indigestion, nervousness, debility in its worst forms, depression of spirits, and melancholy. GWILTM EVANS'S QUININE BITTERS. THE VEGETABLE TONIC.—This preparation is now extend sively taken throughout the country by patients suffer- ing from debility, nervousness, and general exhaustion, and, if any value be attached to human testimony, the efficacy of this medicine has been successfully estab- lished. Its claims have been tested and proved by the medical profession and others, and corroborated by the written testimonials of eminent men. The Quinine Bitters contain not only a suitable quantity of Quinine in each dose, but the active principles of the following well-known liet,bs-sarsaparilla saffron, gentian, laven- der, and dandelion root. The use of Quinine is well known, but it has never been satisfactorily combined with these preparations until, after overcoming consi derable difficulties, the proprietor was able to secure a perfectly uniform preparation, combining ull the essential properties of the above plants in thei greatest purity and concentration. It is now established as a family medicine, and is increasing in popular favour the more it is known and tested. Gwylim Kvans's Quinine Bitters is a tonic Pick-me-up.' scientifically mixed in happy proportions. MODE OF ACTION.—<ANTL here lies the secret of the Remedy.)-The Quinine Bitters (being a vegetable tonic), by their peculiar power, strengthen that part of the system which is weakest, and. therefore. most liable to colds and their attendant diseases. The in- gredients they contain cannot be put into pills, but the patient can follow his usual occupation,-wlthout fear of exposure. GWILYM EVANS' QUININE BITTERS are recommended by Doctors, Analysts, Chemists. Sold in f8™ anfl hs 6d Bottles, and Cases containing three Us 6d.Bottles at 10s 6;1- per case, by all Chemists, or from the Proprietor, arriaye free, parcels post (under coyer). N.B.-Noone hould suffer without trying "Gwilym Evans Quinine Bitters."—Mr OWILYM KVANS. F.e.S., Proprietor, aboratory, Llanelly, South Wales, 70863

I THE MAESTEG COLLIERY EX- PLOSION. Inquest and Verdict. Mr Howell Cuthbertson, coroner, concluded on Friday, at the Pontycymmer Hotel, Ton, the adjourned inquiry on the bodies of the three men who were killed by the explosion at the Pwllcarn Colliery, Garw Valley, near Maesteg. Mr John Davies, one of the owners, and Mr Rees Davies, London, were present on behalf of the Transatlantic Steam Coal Company and Mr Scale, solicitor, Maesteg, watched the inquiry on behalf of the relatives of the deceased. Evidence was given by Charles Harris, sinker, and William Boyle, sinker and contractor, to the effect that naked lights were generally used in the workings, and that on the occasion a naked light had been taken into the pit. The jury returned a verdict of Accidentally killed."

I BRECONSHIRE BAPTIST ASSO- CIATION. I Quarterly Meeting at Llanfrynach. The quarterly meetings of the Breconshire Baptist Association were held on Tuesday and Wednesday at Llanfrynach Baptist Chapel, near Brecon. The conference of ministers and dele- gates was held on Tuesday, under the presidency of the Rev. B. Edwards, of Brecon, at which the following resolutions were passed :—(1.) That the churches be exhorted to hold a series of revival meetings, and that the tirst be held at Watergate, Brecon. (2.) That £ 2 each be handed over to the weak churches in tne county from the home mission fund. (3.) That the most hearty thanks of the conference be given to the Rev. D. Mathias, of Llanwrtyd Wells, for the excellent paper read by him on the work of the Holy Spirit, and that he be requested to publish it through the medium of the Keren Gomer or tha Seven Cyinru. (4.) That this conference feels a deep sense of sorrow at hearing of the somewhat sudden and unexpected death of our dear and highly esteemed brother, the Rev. E. W. James, Pantycelyn, and desires to express its sincerest sympathies with the bereaved widow and family. (5) That the Rev. D. B. Edwards, Brecon, and the Rev. J. Vanstone, Hay, be requested to read papers and preach on given subjects at the next quarterly meeting.—A delegate suggested that it was full time the electors of Breconshire should know who will be the candidate that will contest the county in the Liberal interest at the next general elee. tion.—On Tuesday evening and Wednesday public services were lieJd, and a student from Llangollen College was ordained a minister. The following ministers officiated at the public services :—Prof. Davies, Llangollen College Revs. D. B. Edwards, Brecon D. Mathias, Llanwrtyd Wells J. Van- stone, Hay; J. L. Evans, Zoar; G. H. Jones Nantyffin G. H. Llewellyn, Maesyberllan (secretary to the association); J. W. Evane j Roberts, Pisgah and J. Jenkins, Crickhowell. I

I THE HEALTH OF MR. GLAD. I STONE. We are enabled to state that Mr Gladstone has been somewhat indisposed for the last few days. The Premier took part in the Cabinet Council, which broke up at a quarter to seven, and an hour later he was visited again by Sir Andrew Clark, who came from attending a patient in the country expressly to see Mr Gladstone. The r feSS ASsocIatlOn representative had an interview with Sir Andrew Clark in Downing-street, after the doctor had seen Mr Gladstone. Sir Andrew stated that the Prime Minister was suffering from the same complaint as he was attacked by two years ago, and it had led to a recurrence of those sleepless nights from which he then suffered. It was necessary, therefore, that he should have partial, if not complete, rest for a time in the country. With this object, Sir Andrew Clark has advised his patient to retu-. -w soon as pos- sible to Hawarden, and rest from the worry of public affairs. In accordance with this advice, Mr Gladstone will leave for Hawarden to-day. It is probable that another contin ental trip may be advisable this spring, but upon this point Sir Andrew Clark has not at present come to a decision^ The Prime Minister on Friday evening drove with Sjr Andrew Clark to Lord Keay's residence at Stan- hope-street, where he dined quite privately with the noble lord. Mr Gladstone walked with firm- ness to the carriage in Downing-street, but it waa readily noticeable that he was exceedingly paje and apparently careworn. :By the doctor's orders' he returned early to Downing-street,where he will be again visited by the medical attendant this morning. On Monday lastt the Premier's ibirthday, it was observable that the right hon. gentleman was not enjoying his usual good health, and he took no exercise on that day beyond attending the parish church at morning service. On New Year's Day he did not attend early morning service, contrary to his practice for many years, and it Was remarked that he looked very pale. Notwithstand- ing the .bitterly cold weather, the Premier took the train from Chester at 2 o'clock lor London, as a Cabinet Council was summoned for Fri- day. On arrival at Euston tatIon, after over four hours' journey, Mr Gladstone looked far from well, and quickly entering a private carriage in waiting for him drove direct to Downing-street, where his Private Secretary was awaiting his arrival. Sir Andrew Clark, his medical attendant, called upon him shortly afterwards, ana remained with him some time. On Friday morning Sir Andrew again visited the Premier before he was up, and remained over half an hour. Sir Andrew reported that Mr Gladstone had made some improvement, but had passed a rather restless night. The Premier rose somewhat later than usual, and commenced work almost immediately- Lord Granville visited him at noon and remained for more than an hour. It Was known at two o'clock that Mr Gladstone was sufficiently well to attend the Cabinet Council which wet as arr-nged at four o'clock. During the day the Prime Minister kept within doors and was able to attend to all matters of business which came before him.

A MALE BEGGAR IN WOMEN'S CLOTHES. A beggipg impostor named Armstrong was sen tenced to » month's imprisonment at Sheffield on Friday- -e w^s dressed in women's clotiies and had» baby in his arms.jlt transpired that the baby had been hired for the purpose of creating sym- pathy.

LINSBED LOZENGES, solidified linseed tea, laxative and demulcent, 6d; postage 2d. Kay Bros., Stockport, and all Chemists. „ 23 UNFAILING HEMEDY "FOR HEADACHES KERNICK'S VEGETABLE PILLS, FOR INDIGESTION Sold by all Chemists, &c.. in 7id, 13id, and 2s 9d boxes. BEWARE OF IMIFATIONS Printed and Published by the Proprietors, DAVID DUNCAN & SONS, at their Steam Printin Works, 75 and 76. St. Mary, street, and Westgate-street ■' tn the town of Cardiff in the County of OlinisorsjiW

LONDON LETTER. [SPECIALLY WIRED. J [BY OUR GALLERY CORRESPONDENT.] ;T.] LONDON, Friday Night. That a Cabinet Council should have been summoned within' a day or two of the open- ing of the new year is by no means an unusual experience, albeit the sudden coming of Ministers to town to-day has afforded ground for so much speculation. To go back no farther than twelve months ago, it will be remembered that there was a Cabine: at almost exactly the same time. Then, undoubtedly, domestic questions demanded a paramount place in the consideration of Ministers. The Franchise* Bill and the London Government Bill were to be the two great measures of the session. General Gordon was in Loudon. "We k. nothing of a Nile expedition, and ftáot. been brought into acquaintance witliiifoe com- plications in Angra Pequena,: Guinea, or the New Hebrides. So cledtlj, wejj £ home affairs the leading topic of constwra"- tion then that Lord Derby did not think-it necessary to come up from Knowsly to,, attend the council. It is different noW < The Franchi Bill is law, and very few expect to hear anything of the London Government Bill during the next session. • Jlecent incidents of colonial administration, raid the attitude of this and other countries towards the solving of the long standing problem of the. Egyptian policy are in them- .Y selves sufficient to account for the Ministerial gathering of to-day. It is just such a day as we often get in a" winter in London, dry, cold, and gloomy, a ifapresentative day of this period of the yetir, -which gives us on an average one or two Ikpftrs of bright sunshine during a whole week, as officially registered at Greenwich Observatory. On a tine afternoon there is usually a considerable crowd of loungers at the corner of Downing-street, nearest the Privy Council Office, to see the Ministers pass up into the Treasury. The chief ob- ject of intereST, however, on these occasions, would be Mr Gladstone, had he any necessity to leave his official residence, which he has not. He passes from his private apartments into the council chamber, in which for 40 years he has intermittently been a familiar figure, without the observa- tion of the curious who may be gathered outside, and which with a temperature only a degree or two above freezing point is less than usual. An excellent idea of the in- terest which attends the movements of the veteran premier is supplied in the session when a double line of pedestrians is drawn up in Parliament-street to see him pass from Downing-street to the House of Commons. The indisposition for which Sir Andrew Clark is now attending Mr Gladstone is not serious, and merely the result of yesterday's Bold journey from Hawarden to London. As Lord Ripon is on his way home, the question is asked whether the usual rule will be followed in advancing a retired Viceroy of India a grade in the peerage. In his lordship's case there is only one step higher, for he was created a marquis after presiding over the High Joint Commission at Wash- ington, in 1871, exchanging the two earl- doms of De Grey and Ripon for the superior title then conferred upon him by the Queen at the recommendatiQii Gladstone. Of course it is well known th&t the granting vf a dukedoqa ÏJ3 a most exceptional accurrence. The Marquis of Westminster received this honour in 1874, but previously to that there had been no such instance in the peerage of the United King- dom for more than forty years, when Earl Grey created the dukedoms of Cleveland and Sutherland for the services which two great Whig peers had rendered to the State in the reform struggle. It is the custom to recognise the services of ex-Viceroys of India by giving them a higher rank in the peerage. Daxhousie, Ellenborough, Can- ning, Northbrook, Lytton, are names which .t once suggest themselves. Lord Elgin died out there Lord Mayo was assassinated, so that their names cannot be added to this list. But Sir John Lawrence exchanged his baronetcy for a peerage on his return from Calcutta. Lord Ripon is already a Knight of the Garter and cannot take two of these coveted distinctions. The Viceroyalty of India is the most splendid, the most responsible, and the most weary- ing position under the Crown, hence, the desire of the Sovereign to offer to the statesman who has tilled it some recognition of the wear and tear involved in the dis- charge of such duties. Dormant political life is gradually re- awakening, and as Londoners endeavour gradually to comprehend the details of the Redistribution Bill they Vill devote more attention to the way in which the capital is carved out into new districts. It appears that the Boundary Commissioners have no power to settle the divisions of the proposed one member consti- tuencies, and they certainly have no power to do anything further with the metropolitan y I r, boroughs than that which is set forth in the schedules of the bill. It is to be wished that lCy, or some other responsible body, had such power. Both north and south of the river murmurs are already heard at the erratic way in which the divisions have been harried out. The end of the year brings with it the ac- customed private view of the Grosvenor, this tiflte of extraordinary interest on account of the comparison inevitably and not invidiously awakened between Gainsborough and Rey- nolds. Never before have so many of the great English master's works been collected under a single roof. We see pictures well- known by constant exhibition like the famous Blue Boy' or the portrait of Garrick, which the actor thought the best of all the likenesses, and which he himself presented to the corporation of Stratford-on-Avon, and others by no means familiar and yet ob- viously Gainsboroughs. One point the present exhibition establishes — his supremacy as a landscape painter. Here, indeed, Reynolds was no match for his only rival. Sea and woodland, shipping and cattle, are alike treated poeti- cally and yet truthfully, and, in his earlier works, with a firmness which he sometimes lost in portraiture. His pictures, too, are in much better preservation than Reynolds. He established his method soon, while to his last year Sir Joshua was tentatively try- ing to make his palette keep pace with his imagination. The present exhibition does not inspire us with the same melancholy which last year's year's collection could not fail to produce. There are few cracked sur- I faces or wrecked canvases. His favourite blue seems, happily for posterity, to have been a safer colour than Sir Joshua's lovely but fugitive carnations.

CoAGULiSE.—Cement for Broken Articles, 6d, Is, 2s, postage 2d. ;Sold every >vberL>. KsyEros, Ktockporc. 213 ELECTRIC LIFE—MAGNETISM.—Parkes' Patent Compound Magnets are intensely powerful and readily relieve Neuraiilia, Rheumatism, Nervousness, &e Their gient efficacy is due to the discovery of a New I'rincip B (se., explanatory circular). Made in three forms, for use as Armlets Is, Pad Is bri, Baud 2s fad the Set, with testing Compass, 5s. As 1;; the Chemist or send Postal Order t" the Proprietors, MessrsJevons King's Heath, 'Birmingham.

A SOLDIER'S BETROTHAL. It was young Linden's twenty-first birthday, and a grand fancy ball was being given in his honour at his father's countrv house in Schloss Marburg, in Westphalia. TH)Jr fine old mansion was a blaze of light; the scent of flowers hung heavy in the air, though it was mid-winter the music would have inspired a hermit to dance, and the portraits of dead and gone Lindens looked down from their frames upon as motley a throng of fairies, demons, knights, and ladies as had ever assembled in the lofty rooms. Among the cavaliers every one noticed Conrad von Rosenham, a handsome young fellow of two-and-twenty, straight and lithe, who, in his costume, borrowed from the Court of Louis XV., attracted the brightest eyes in the room. He wore a doublet of purple velvet, lilac silk stockings, shoes of white kid, a velvet cloak lined with white satin, a plumed hat, and a jewelled sword and, though he seemed un- conscious enough, the vain young fellow was enjoying immensely the sensation he made. The fourth quadrille was under way, and Conrad, with a pretty little Alsatian peasant as a partner, was trying his wit against hers, to the amusement of all who overheard. But to this young knight's flow of repartee there came pre- sently sl sudden chilling shock midway in the -eome one tapped him on the shoulder and sai<j|, in a sepulchral whisper— Slake yourself scarce as soon as possible you h&jiA^ong rip in the back of your stocking '9.«*ilorror of that moment was overwhelming foir: i*ad von Rosenbain-lie, the hero of the .ball, changed to an object of ridicule, if any one werude enough to laugh If be had only an overcoat or shawl to hide himself under—any- thing rather than that foolish little cloak hanging to one shoulder and the slashed unmentionables stopping far above his knees. His mirth vanished, and the little Alsatian girl looked piqued, and shrugged her pretty shoulders because her last sally of wit fell upon unheeding ears. Her cavalier sneaked through the remainder of the quadrille more like a whipped hound being put through a trick than a gay courtier, and at its conclusion he vanished with the briefest apology possible. Raging at the flimsy products of all modern looms, Von Rosenhain dashed through the heavy silk portitires In search of some one to restore order to his toilet. It was a big rent, and lie wondered that the people in the ballroom re- strained their merriment as well as they did. They were probably laughing at him now, con- found them A man in livery told him that by going to the end of the corridor and pushing open a certain door he would find one of the lady's maids, who would take the necessary stitches in the unlucky stocking. Following the man's directions, Von Rosenbain found himself at length in a large dimly-lighted apartment, hung at one end with half-drawn curtains, through which a light gleamed. He advanced quietly, and was about to speak, when surprise :it the tableau before him silenced him. The lovely girl sitting with the light glinting in her fair hair was no lady's maid in her light blue velvet dress, with soft old lace about the neck and sleeves, she seemed more like a young princess. Nor were her surroundings out of keeping with her appearance. The walls of the little boudoir were hung with pinkish-Jowered silk,rare Turkish mats covered the polished floor, there were luxuriously cushioned divans, and the low chair in which the girl sat was a quaint fancy in leopard skin; with silver claws for feet. She looked not more than 16, or perhaps younger, and the face, bending over a mass of embroidery silks on the table at her side, was the loveliest Conrad had ever seen. I have mistaken the room," he said to him- self, and had better take myself off as quietly as possible." But as he turned he slipped and nearly fell, and the girl started, looking up frightened. "Pray do not be alarmed," said Conrad, d. vancing. I was sent in search of a maid who would mend a rent in my dress, but I must have mistaken the man's directions." "No, there is no mistake. I sent my maid to bed half an hour ago, as she had a bad headache. Perhaps I could remedy the defect in your dress," the girl returned, with a charming smile. "Oh, no; not for worlds would I trouble you I will go in search of gome one else," said Conrad, with something like a hlfsifc- But the pretty little fairy would not hear of his going, and, almost before he realised what she was doing, she had threaded a needle with a bit of lilac silk and had dropped upon her knees be- fore him on the wolf's skin on which he stood. Deftly and quickly she mended the rent in the much reviled stocking, and rose lightly to his feet, scarcely touching Conrad's arm offered in assist- ance. I am very much obliged to you," began the young man in earnest tones, and I Oh, never mind thanks for such a trifle Any one would have done as muJi. Now you may go back to the little Alsatian peasant with whom you have been flirting all the evening." Von Rosenhain seemed in no hurry to go. So you have seen me before my appearance here this evening? Surely I see you for the first time now?. he said wonderingly. Yes, I was among the lookers-on in the gal- lery, near the musicians, and I watched you par- ticularly during the hour that 1 was allowed to stay. My aunt declares that I am too young to appear at a ball as a guest—do you not think it a shame. I shall be 16 next birthday, and I love dancing." It is an unpardonable shame!" exclaimed Conrad excitedly, as he looked into her plaintive violet eyes, dewy with tears. I will go and beg your aunt to let you come. Describe her to me, and I will search till I find her." Pray do nothing of the kind, Herr von Rosehain," said the girl, laying her pretty hand on Conrad's sleeve the whole household would be scandalised if it knew you had visited me here. It is kind of you—very kind-to interest yourself in me but it is too late now." I must do as you wish, of course," returned Conrad, reluctantly. However, it flatters me that you cared to discover my name." You would like to know mine, I suppose," she said, with a saucy smile, but I am not going to tell it to you. Call me Penelope, or one of the Fates, or any one who sits working busily while others are amusing themselves, and weave some kind of interesting romance about me. Now leave me, I beg of you. I hope you will enjoy the remainder of the ball, and I am very glad I have been of service to you." I thank you heartily," said Conrad, passing one of her soft white hands gallantly to his lips. Upon his return to the ballroom the festivity seemed to have lost all its charms for Conrad von Rosenhain the guests' voices were noisy and dis- cordant compared with the low, girlish tone to which he had just been listening, and there was not a face in all the throng that did not pale before the delicate loveliness of the one he had seen bending over the heap of coloured silks in the little boudoir. He sauntered alone about the conservatories and anterooms for the remainder of the evening, asking himself who the lovely little fairy could be whom fate had thrown in his way he dared not inquire without acting contrary to her wishes that their interview should remain a secret—and her wish was law. The next day was a dark one for Schloss Mar- burg the news spread like wildfire that the Countess Linden was stricken down with violent fever, and the frightened guests were begged to disperse with all possible haste. Von Rosenhain was obliged to take his departure with the others, much though he yearned to tind out who his bene- factress was, of whose childish violet eyes and lovely pink-tinted face he had been dreaming ever since. It would have been heartless to pursue his investigations at such a time, and he could not stay and be a burden upon the stricken house. A few weeks later Conrad von Kosenhain, to- Rether with many another brave youth, was called upon to assist in the defence of his fatherland against the French, and in the excitement of army life his mind had less time to dwell upon the pretty little unknown who had so fascinated him. In an engagement near the village of Kirchfolt, Lieutenant von Rosenhain was wounded in the shoulder—not severely, but enough to make him unfit for service for some weeks. As no hospital was in the neighbourhood, Schloss Hohenstein, the home of a certain Baron von Remsthal, was chosen as quarters for the invalid, and thither Von Rosenhaia was sent to await recovery Schloss Hohenstein was a fine old mansion rapidly falling ineo decay the shrubberies were tangled and unkempt,' the statues crumbled un- heeded. And within doors the desolation was nearly as great—the once beautiful furniture and tapestries were worm-eaten and in tatters. More- over, there were very few servants and rumours reached Conrad's ears of the Baron von Rems- I thal being deeply involved in debt. One bright, sunny day, as Conrad was walking through the garden, rejoicing at thd thought of soon being able to rejoin his regiment, some one advanced before him whom he had not seen before at Schloss Hchensteiii-a graceful young girl in a pretty fur-trimmed dress, her cheeks flushed with the cold, crisp air. Surely he had seen those eyes before Was lie dreaming, or was this really the same mysterious fairy who had mended his stock- ing at the fancy ball ? "Good morning, Lieutenant von Rosenhain!" she said, with the lovely smile he remembered so well. I aiiiso glad you are well enough to be I out agam. I have enquired for you every day j but have not had the pleasure of seeing you be- fore. I hope you have not forgotten me." "Never declared Conran, retaining the little band so frankly proffered him. "How odd that we should meet again quite by chance But you do not know me. I must introduce myself now, because I am your hostess. I am Daphne von Remsthal, and I live here with my father." So at last I know the name of the fair unknown who helped me out of my very unplea- sant predicament at Count Marburg's ball It is a question that I have asked myself in vain thousands of times since." It was astonishing how much these two, who had never met before but once, found to say to each other in the old garden, and the summons to luncheon came all too soon. From this day on the invalid soldier found nothing so beneficial for his health as a stroil in the shrubbery, even when the weather seemed unpropitious and Daphne, the hostess, could not but chat with her guest when they met. The two were sittiag one day near an old moss- grown sun-dial at the end of the garden walk, and a very pretty tableau they madc-,he with a bright colour in her cheeks, her light curly hair tossed about her forehead, and her eyes like dia- monds, and lie with enough pallor—the result of his illness-to lend a new interest to his face, and his tine figure set off by his uniform. Daphne had gathered a tiny bunch of winter violets, and was showing her treasure to Conrad, who bent his his head over hers to see them, when both were startled by a voice saying, in not the gentlest of tones— "Lieutenant Von Rosenhain, you are very imprudent to sit tin this damp garden whi'.e you are still an invalid. Daphne, you will accopapany me to the house, as Fraulein ness, seems to have deseited you." Daphne arose with a frightened look in her eyes, and took her father's arm for it was the old Faron who had so ruthlessly brajl^n in upbn her tete-a-tete, with Conrad. As Conrad strode past a half-ruiffed summer- house standing a little back from the avenue, the sound of smothered sobbing reached his ear. In another moment he stood in the little harbour, clasping both Daphne's hands in his and looking down into her tear-brimming eyes with a world of love and pity in his own. Am I not to congratulate you or your engage- ment ?" he asked, with a bitter rin<f in his voiced Oh, no, no I am so unhappy. But what, can I do? We are very poor-almost on the verge of want—and I cannot disappoint my father." Do love anyone else?" Conrad asked, eagerly watching her face. 1 or reply she leaned her pretty head upon his shoulder, and the young soldier knew the truth. The next day Lieutenant von Rosenhain took his departure. His heart was heavy at the thought that he would perhaps never see Daphne again but the memory that she loved him awakened a song of triumph within him, hopeless though their love was. There had been a sharp engagement between French and Prussians on the outskirts of the little village of Apledorf, and the contending parties hovered still about "the place for another attack on the morrow. At nightfall Lieutenant von Rosenhain and a few other officers and men gathered round a meagre camp fire to try to snatch a few hours' sleep. It is a pity we can have no better fire on this bitter cold night; go to the house yonder, Wil- helm, and see if you can find any fuel," said one of the officers. The man took a lantern and went towards the deserted-looking building standing in its own grounds, the abandoned home of some rich family. He returned with his arms full of books. "The place has been plundered, sir, of every- thing but these but they will make a fine fire." As no one objected, the soldier flung the arm- ful of books upon the dying flames. "Bring more—the idea is not bad, and soon the cGtmp-fireburned merrily, fed by scores of priceless old volumes. A pity—a great pity; but our men cannot freeze," said a man, lying wrapped in his cloak, near Von Roseuhain. He had curiously piercing dark eyes, and a moustache nearly white but his figure was lithe and active as any youth's. VomRosenhain watched him narrowly and won- dereSithat be had not seen him before. Presently Conrad leaned forward, and with his sabre idly raked a little vellum-bound book towards him out of the burning pile. It was a volume of Dante's Inferno, with the date 1530. On the fly leaf were these words in faded ink. Daph)te, de son ami Louis." Daphne," said Conrad, half to himself—" an unusual name, and a very pretty one." I am glad you like it," observed the dark-eyed stranger at his side "it is the mme of the girl who is to be my wife." Conrad looked at the man in silence. The idea took sudden possession of him that his hated rival was before him; but he could not bear to hear tho truth from the man's own lips. On the first opportunity that offered, lie asked one of the men who the tall officer was with the eagle eyes and the grey moustache. That is Colonel Hugo von Pleyel," was the reply. The next night it was necessary to send an im- portant message to a certain point three miles distant. The way lay through the village, and was dangerous, as many French soldiers were skulking about. Conrad von Rosenhain was chosen as one messenger, and, oddly enough, it fell to the lot of Colonel von Pleyel to accompany him. At dark the two men set forth on therr dan- gerous errand, the elder knowing little of the hate tor him in the young one's breast. On the way they spoke little, and followed each other in the darkness as well as they could. Passing through a narrow gateway at the end of the village street Von Rosenhain's sword slipped and struck on the ground. Whofcoas there ?'' called a gruff voice in French, followed by the sharp report of a musket. Foolish fellow, to waste his bullet aiming in the dark said Conrad to himself. Outside the village the danger was over, and Von Rosenhain, having wandered out of hearing of his companion, hurried on alone, delivered his message, and returned to the camp. Next morn- ing, on enquiring for Colonel von Pleyel, Conrad heard to his astonishment that he had not re- turned. Wondering, he set out again over the road that they had traversed together on the previous evening, and as heneare-d the little gate at the end of the deserted street he saw to his surprise Colonel von Pleyel sitting on a bench beside a cottage. We were wondering at your absence, Colonel," he was about to say, but the words fruze on his lips. Hugo von Pleyel was stone dead, shot through the brain. Von Rosenhain remembered with a shock the striking of his sabre on the ground, the challenge of the French soldier, and the bullet fired. That bullet had struck down the man whom he hated above all others on earth. He had fallen upon the stone bench without a cry, and, supported by the wall of the house, had sat in ghastly silence ever since. A successor was needed to fill the post of the lamented Colonel von Pleyel, and to Conrad von Rosenhain's delight it was offered to him as a reward for his past bravery. The first person to whom the young man wrote of his advancement was the Baron von Remsthal, and the letter con- tained a formal request for the hand of his daughter Daphne in marriage. Daphne herself replied with a happy, glowing letter and when the summer came the soldiefr-lover claimed his bride. Daphne, in her orange blossoms, was beautiful as an angel," the neighbours said.

LOCAL LIFE BOAT SERVICES I IN 1884. The following is a list of the splendid services rendered to local vessels by the lifeboats or the Royal National Lifeboat Institution during tho past twelvemonths: Ketch Sarah Jane, of Bridgwater, 3; smack Ellen, of Newport, 2; steam# Caerleon, of Cardiff, 20 schooner Richd. Cobdeu, of Swansea, anchored vessel and brought ashore crew, 5 smack Three Sisters, of Cardi- gan, 3 schooner Alexander, of Beaumaris, 4 smack Rapid, of Cardigan, 3; schooner Eliza beth Anne, of Carnarvon, and another schconer belonging to Runcorn, saved two vessels and 1 smack Ellen, of Milford, 3 smack Antelope, of Aberystwyth, saved vessel and 2 s.s. Welsh Prince, of Newport, 40 barque Maxima, of Swansea, rendered assistance; schooner John and Ann, of Aberystwyth 3 yawl Juno, of Beau- maris, 2. The total lives saved numbe.r 621. In addition to these invaluable services in saving life no less than 17 vessFIs. were by means of the lifeboats rescued from being totally wrecked, or were brought by them safely into harbour. Further, the lifeboats were launched 142 times in reply to distress signals, but returned to shore, the crews having jeopardised their lives in vain because the signals had been either made in error, or help was not required. During the year the society also granted rewards for the rescue of 159 lives by means of shore boats and fishiug boats, so that a grand total 11 f ¡ lives has been saved in the last twelve inout! through its instrumentality, bringing up tli number of lives saved since the foundation of institution to 31,343. In order to carry on t' s great work, which is second to none in impor- tance, and to maintain in efficisncy their f'ieot ->f j 284 boats, the committee make a strong appeal to the public for help, feeling assured tha'. 'h. appeal v/ill not be made in vain,

I YANKEE YARNS. Recently in Texas a couple bent on marriage procured a license and set out with one or two to look up a parson. They reached the river; but, • alas, there was -no boat in which to cross The parson concluded to marry the couple across the river and they joined hands and took their stand near the waljar's edge, while the preacher, on the opposite bank, in, stentorian voice, pronounced the marriage service and declared them man and wife. Something like this occurred to a Chicago man, except that the preacher successfully swam the river. The man now wishes he had been I drowned. I A JOURN'ALISTS'S PRIVILEGES. Oh, I think it must be so nice to be connected with a newspaper," said Miss M'Flynn to young Quilldriver, as they sat together one evening. Yes, it is, so so," he replied. But why do you think it is "Why, it has so many advantages. I should think VOH would glory in the freedom, the power, the lib^fcy, and all the privileges of the press." "Certain^, I do. It's a pity, with all your enthusiam orfthe subject, that you are not a journalist." "I think so, too but you know it is hard for a woman to get recognition. I should be delighted to feel that the press embraced me.' Oil, you would,, wfculd you ? Great Scott wait till I turn down the gas." Colonel Woods, the oldest practising lawyer in Iowa, and familiars-known as "Old Timber,was once called upon as an expert to prove the rea- sonable value of certain services rendered by a brother attorney. On his direct examiuation, he stated, in a rather careless manner, that he had been practising law in the territory and State of Io^a for the lasfc.fifte or sixty years. Upon-cross- examination, a yotanPattorney undertook to have some sport at Oid Timber's" expense, with this result. How long did you say you had prac- tised law in this country ?" Fifty or sixty years, sir." Well, will yfcw state what was the charac- ter of your practice 'during the earlier part—say, for the first cwenty-five or thirty years in the ter- ritory and State?" "Yes sir. I was then what might be appropriately called an itinerant lawyer." "An itinerant lawyer Will you be so kind, Colonel, as to explain to the court and jury what you mean by the term 'itinerant lawyer'?" "Cer- tainly, sir. In those early days I used to travel around the circuit Avith the judge, and my busi- ness was to try cWafcs for young gentlemen like you who had brass dnough to undertake a case, but not brains enough to try it." Gaylord Clarke, J.he Knickerbocker magazine in ]New York, was rrtgite a humourist in his way. When he was publislpng the magazine, Barnum had his museum the Herald building now stands. Clarke and Barnum were great frtends, yet each liked to. tnrzvthe joke on the other. On one occasion carge down to the museum in great .'ha$t(3,p$»d,wanted to know of Mr Barnum if he had tne oiub^Ojkptain Cook was killed with, and, fi he'had, would he allow him to examine it, as he was writing :aar article for the magazine on the death of Cook, and I would like to familiarise himself with the apffea^anca of the weapon that ended his existence..iMi* Barnum said that he was only too happy to-be i|ble to gratify his curiosity, as he had the identical club, and that he would go and get it for him. Mr. Barnum, in narrating the incident afterwards, said, "I went and picked out an Indian club that looked as if it might have killed Captain Cook or any one else, and brought it back, a»d assured Mr Clarke that that was the identical tlub. He examined it for a time critically, and, hen, handing it back, said, 'Mr Barnum, I thut you must have it; as all the small museums in' the country have it, a large one like yours co|Id,not afford to do without it.' I told Clarke I o.wed him one; and then lie left, chuckling over how'cicely he had turned the point on me." Uncle Pleasant Basins is sixty, and his wife seventy-two. The, her day a friend said, "Uncle Pleasant, did you marry a woman nearly old enough to" your mother?" "You see, boy," he replied, wfih t sIgh, "Iwas wurkin' for long John Freeman in Hanover when I was jest eighteen, and Sarah Ann Russ, old Mrs Russ's only daughter, was thirty, if she wur a day. At every quiltin1 she used to chuse me for a partner, and everybody said it 'peared like she wur a-courtin' me. She gimme four pair cotton socks and a heap of things but still I didn't have no notion of her. Well, one Christmas eve I went to the old woman's, aod had hardly sot down be- fore Sarah Ann brought me some sweet-potato pie. which she knowd I was monstrous fond of. While I was eatin' it I heard the old woman up- stairs a-countin' silver dollars. Now thar was no plaster to the ceilin', and the up-stairs floor had cracks in it as big as my finger. So, you see, I could hear the jingle of the money jest as well as if I had been up thar myself. When she had counted nine hundred and six, I drawed up to Sary Ann and popped the question, in course she said she'd have me, and the next Thursday we was married. Now what do you think I found out the next day? Why, that the old womtfn did't have but thirty Mexican dollars, and that she counted 'em over and over jest to fool me. Don't marry for money, boy, 'specially for silver dollars." A MERE TRIFLE. I In a company of travellers each one was relat- ing accounts of various adventures of a startling nature that had occurred to them. Presently a Yankee was called upon for his experience. <• Wall, naow, I don't know thet anythm' remark- able ever happened to me. Yas, wall, I dew now recollect that once a rather curious little affair did occur but it was nothin' worth menti()¡:jn'- really a mere trifle. I was once a lookin' on at soine countrymen puttin' a new shingle roof outer a barn. They had the job nearly finished. There was jes' one other bundle left to carry up to the roof. I saw it a-layin' thar at the foot of the lad- der. I asked those fellows why they didn't carry it up. They said they'd jes' like ter see any one fellei thet 'ud carry up that air bundle 'thout openin' on't. Wall, I told 'em thet I kinder thought as how I could dew it. Wall, they jest laffed at that idear o' min, for the bundle was pooty dooced big an' heavy, I can tell ye. So I jes' picked up thet air bundle of shingles—'bout a thousan', mom' less-an started right up thet ar ladder. The: shingles was so heavy thet- would ye believe it ?-the rungs of thet air ladder jes' broke one after 'nother under my feet as I dumb up it. But I was so tarnal spry an'active thet I jumped from one rung to another, the rung faliin' all the time one after t'other to the ground. I reached the top o' the ladder jes' as the last rung fell, an' the ladder, havin' nothin' to hold it together, of course fell apart and left me there. I didn't like to drop the shingles, after takin' so much trouble, so I jes' bung onter 'em by both hands and caught hold of the gutter by my teeth, when an ingenious fellow got me out of the tarnation fix by working the hose of a fire- engine under me thet happened to be there and on thet jit I ris and landed the shingles safe." AN EXPENSIVE MAGAZINE. I Would you like to buy that magazine: asked the soft-voiced and timid pea-nut on the east-bound Union Pacific train, the other day, of a middle-aged passenger who was looking over the October Harper and reading Judge Good- 9 win's article on the Mormon Situation. No," said the middle-aged party; it is my own mag- azine, ,and therefore I do not care to buy it." Excuse me," said the poor little frightened pea- nutter, while the tears came into his eyes. I fear you want to cheat a poor orphan boy out of his books. Please pay me, sir, or let me have the magazine back again. Ah, sir, you would not rob me of my^goods No," said the stern stranger I do not wish to rob you of your book, my boy but I bought this on the Utah Northern road and paid for it. When I went into the fating-house for breakfast, the train butcher took it out of my seat and sold it to me again in the afternoon. I was in the middle of an article when we got to the dinner station, so I turned down the leaf and left it again in my seat. I had to buy it once more. Now the magazine has cost me two dol- lars, and you want me to give it to you so that you can sell it through Nebraska, no doubt. NO, my poor little orphan-lad, you may go and soak your head for an hour or two and bathe your tear-bedimmed eyes, but I cannot give up my two-dollar magazine. Peddle out your bead moc- casins made by the hostile Indians of Chicago, sell ou your little stock of'nice eating apples at twenty-seven dollars per barrel, with two prize- worms in each and every apple, but do not dis- turb me while I read my expensive periodical. I will not bother you while you sell your fancy mixed candies that have been running back and forth over the road since '69. I will not interfere with you while you sell your Indian curiosities made in Connecticut. Go ahead and make all the. money you can; but give me a chance to peruse this article without the regular assessment." Then the boy went to the sleeping car conductor and asked who that sarcastic "old cuss over yonder" might be, and the conductor said it was the Marquis of Lorno. And the boy believed it.

I.VTFRNATIONAL HEALTH EXHIBITION, LONDON ■ rriif- J iighestAward (Gold Medal) has been awarded to fhc Wheeler and Wilson New Style Sewing Machines, for great superiority over all others. All experti pronounce the Wheeler anrl Wilson Nos. 8 and, ;0 Machines the most wonderful pieces of mechanism I ihii world,suitable for averybody. and every class of sr-w-ng, hea vy and light—Wheeler and Wilson, 19 .'v.ike-'treet, Cardiff and all chief centres in district.596

I FACTS AND FANCIES. QUERY.—Can a shepherd's crook be termed a ram rod ? PERSONS WHO TAKE MEASURES TO ENLARGE THEIR BUSINESS.—Tailors. ANOTHER SAW SHARPENED.—It is the clean table-cloth that catches the early grease-pot. Why are not many of the handsome watch- chains one sees like silence ?—Because they are not gold. Epitaphs are sometimes so ludicrous," says a waggish stonemason, "that they make, feven grave-stones funny." In the Swiss mountains. "Marquis, come with me to watch the sunset." The Marquis, smiling: Thanks—no I saw it yesterday." Head of the establishment: David, you are a fool!" David Well, sir, I can't help it. When you engaged me, you told me to imitate. you, and I've done the best I could." WifeJohn, our coachman must go. ''But why, my dear? Our only daughter is married." Yes, but—John, I'm not so very old myself, you know." HfJ: My dear, we must discharge the coach- man." She: But we haven't a daughter." He: Not yet, but we may have, and I'm not going to take any risk." An Indiana baby, born during a terrible storm, has been named Cyclonia. It's father says the appellation is a misnomer. A cyclone doesn't howl every night. Journalistic amenities in Nevada are spiced with originality. One editor says his esteemed contemporary has been known to kiss a child and inoculate it with delirium tremens. SWEETLY SYMPHONIOUS. Yes," he cried passionately, I love you so true, so true Never mind, darling," said she artlessly, I'll have my trousseau ordered at once." For heroic but vain endeavours to look pleased, says a crusty old batchelor, nothing can equal the facial expressions of two girls compelled to dance with each other on account of the scarcity of men. SCOTCH DEFINITION OF 'METAPHYSICS.— Two men are talking together. He that's listening dinua ken what he that's speaking means. He that's speaking dinna ken what he means him- self. That's metaphysics. Scene-Brighton hotel table. d'hôte persona—a young swell and an elderly distinqué-Iooking man. Young swell I feel sure I must have met you somewhere." Elderly man Very likely I am a pawnbroker." An aed negro was showing the scars of the wounds inflicted by the lash when he was a slave. What a picture exclaimed a sympathising looker-on. Yes," responded the coloured brother, dat's de work ob de old masters." A tailor whose bill had remained unpaid for some years called upon X., an impenitent Bohe- miad, and found him in bed at noon. Why don't' you work instead of sleeping ?" said the tailor. Time is money." Ah, well, if time is money, I will pay you in time," answered X. A candidate for the office of auditor of public accounts was suddenly called for a speech. On rising, he commenced, Fellow-citizens, you have called on me for a few remarks. I have none to make. I have no prepared speech. Indeed, I am no speaker I do not desire to be a speaker- I only want to be an auditor." Briggs hired a cob the other day, to take a little exercise. He got more exercised than he wanted; and, as he limped to the side of the road to rest himself, a kind friend asked him, What did you come down so quick for ?" What did I come down so quick for ? Did you see anything up in the air for me to hold on to?" he asked grimly. .40 QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY.—German Professor in the "high-daughter school"—"I have to you, my young ladies, in the last hour communicated that the brain of the man larger is than that of the woman. What conclude you thereout, Frau- lein Bertha?" Bertha "That it with the brain not upon the quantity, but upon the quality depends!" Daughter, home from school: Now, papa, are you satisfied ? Just look at my testimonial" Political economy satisfactory fine arts and music very good logic excellent—— Father Very much so, my dear—especially as regards your future. If your husband should understand anything of housekeeping, cooking, mending, and the use of a sewing-machine perhaps, your mar- ried life will indeed be happy." The French have a mania for prize-giving and prize-winning, and, curiously enough, the prize is not necessarily the reward of merit, Witness this diaiogue between a Parisian lady and a little girl in a Norman village-the little girl is carry- ing home a book and a wreath—"What, Berenice, have you a prize ? I thought that you did not go to school yet?" "No morel do, madame; the prize is to encourage me to go next year." MOTHER-IN-LAW'S SAGACITY.—An eminent scholar is the defendant in a suit for a judicial separation. His mother-in-law is naturally one of the witnesses against him. "Yes, your lordship, he introduced into the house works of a character that is indescribable." "But," says the judge meditatively, vou say these works were in Chinese?" The mother-in-law answers trium- phantly, Certainly and would they have been m Chinese if he had not been ashamed to have us know what there was in them ? HEAR, HEAR !—Aurist to patient: We'll see directly what. your difficulty of hearing arises from. Can you hear this tick ?"—holding out his watch. Lady "No." Aurist, holding it nearer Now, possibly ? Lady No. Aurist, placing his watch closer to the patient's ear 11 Well, now, at all events ?" Lady Not a sound." Aurist: "Why, you must be all but stone-deaf You surely can't understand what I'm saying to you?" Lady; "Indeed I can, I assure you Aurist: But upon my word He looks at the watch, then puts it to his ear. Oh, I beg ten thousand pardons! The watch has not been wound up The other day an English gentleman was strolling through the fish-market in Paris, where a lively sale by auction was going on, and by chance he stopped before a basket containing 144 soles. Whilst looking at the fish, which were particularly fine, he chanced to scratch the tip of his nose in a meditative manner; to his dismay, he found that, thanks to this simple move- ment, he was the owner of a great bargain at seventy-five francs the lot, less five centimes apiece for percentage. Making the best of his bargain, he despatched the soles home, and was enabled to make liberal gifts to his friends and acquaintances, as well as to eat fish to repletion for the next two days. A man who has made'his fortune in a very dif- ferent way says that had it not been for his dog he would have been a great actor. Tragedy was his line and after patient waiting he at last got a. part suitable, as he thought, to his talents. Not only did he get his part, but he got through it, and that well, right up to the last act; and then came failure, because one, and only one, of a large audience failed to appreciate his efforts. In the excitement of acting he did not notice that his dog had taken a conspicuous and good posi- tion in the centre of the stage, as if to criticise his master's performance. With more candour than we are all able to exercise, finding it, to his taste, slow, he looked round at the audience, back again at his master, then, deliberately strolling to the footlights, gave a terrific yawn and trotted off and, alas the proverbial descent from the sublime to the ridiculous was in this case as quick as the drop of tne curtain