South Wales Echo

LONDON LETTER. [SPECIALLY WIItED.j fBy OUR GALLKKV CORRESPONDENT.] LONDON, Monday Xiht. The dmiralty has lost no taua in giving to the public an official assurance that there is nothing whatever in the scare over the orders given to rhe Channel Fleet. Some weeks ago the squadron was ordered to be ready for the 7th inst., to proofed (ill the ordinary winter cruise, and Saturday's instructions were issued merely in the usual way. But that so much should have been made of a telegrainwhich, according to this explanation, would have been sent out as a matter of course, shows the tension of the public mind with respect to possible complica- tions in foreign affairs. The ahtrnÜsts have so long preached national danger from the housetops, that a slight incident of this kind causes the people almost to believe that there must be something in the jeremiads to which they have so long patiently listened. The tact that two Cabinet Councils had been held on successive days was quite enough to account for the commotion which has been created. It is highly improbable that Mr Glad- stone will attend the audit of the rlawarden estate on Wednesday. The tenants had honed for the nresence of their landlord, if only for a few minutes, but as the right, hon. gentleman is not sufficiently well to attend service at the church, it is scarcely likely that he will be found at the Hawarden Arms. It was at one of these recent audit dinners that the Premier advised a more extensive cultivation of fruit, with a view to the manufacture and consumption of jam on a larger scale than is now within the ex- perience of the farmers—a suggestion which has often furnished Tory speakers with food for a good deal of attenuated satire. The cold thaw which has set in will, is is feared, not tend to hasten the i'rime Minister s restoration to health. Mr Gladstone is not the only distinguished man who hag been prostrated by the severity of the weather. Earl Cairns, who was to have presided to-day at a united prayer-meeting in connection with the Evangelical 1 Alliance, is prostrate from a severe attack of congestion of the lungs. Again, Mr Spurgeon, who was to have left London to-day for Mentone, has been assailed once more by his very old enemy, rheumatic gout. He is unable to travel, albeit three deacons of the the Metro- politan Tabernacle were to have gone with him. For any one suffering from rheumatic gout, such a day as we hav#had in London must mean martyrdom. The keen frost has disappeared, and the atmosphere is damp, raw, and searching. Frum this complaint Mr Spurgeon is seldom £ r.jo for ion,, and many a journey has he undertaken to IN ice a.ndMentone in the hope of obtaining relief. Sir Andrew Clark has upon his hands many overworked men besides the Premier. Amongst these is Professor Huxley, who for some time has been in a condition of health that has given some anxiety to his friends, but by the indomitable professor h. been regarded simply as an obstacle to work at full pressure. To Huxley, as to Mr Gladstone, Sir Andrew Clark has given the same advice. Rest, absolute rest for at least a year, is his panacea. Professor Huxley has so far conceded the serious character of his illness that he returned to Italy immediately after his daughter's wed- ding, and has since decided to winter there. He is now in Florence, and means to stop there at least till the spring coires asain. If he will listen, to advice, he will stay away throughout the whole of next year. But the passion for work is like the craving for drink, and the professor is very unhappy in his enforced idleness. At least, he calls it idleness, because he does not.now work more than six hours a day. 7 Some candid friends of the Government have to-day been assured that the lion in the path of their existence is the Egyptian question. If there had been any remark- able change in the composition of the House of Commons during the past few months there might be some cause for solicitude, but the House is the same which last year debated the Egyptian policy of the Govern- ment until at length it would have no more of it. Sir Stafford Northeoto's vote of cen- sure was rejected by 49, and that of Sir Michael Hicks-Beach by 28, while a third, standing in the name of Mr Thomas Bruce, was not permitted to be discussed. Granted that the majority of the 13th of May was not such as we have been accustomed to, it must be borne in mind that on that occasion the Opposi- tion and the Parnellites did their worst, and it is scarcely probable that a sufficient con- tingent of Liberals would be found to place the Redistribution scheme in Tory hands, however they might disapprove of the Ministerial policy in Egypt. The police have no more a clue to the authors of the latest dynamite outrage on the Metropolitan Railway than to that at London Bridge in the middle of December. The member of the Court of Common Council, who gave notice of motion to re- scind the resolution offering a reward of £ 5,000, apparently need not be in much trouble over it, seeing that the resolution is likely to remain a dead letter. If such an enormous sum fails to draw out accomplices, one hope of getting to the bottom of such conspiracies disappears. The Lord-Mayor gave a decision at the Mansion House to-day, which for a couple of months will spare the city of London from a serious annoyance. A fanatic named Herbert Percy Freund has often been be- fore the presiding magistrate either at the 1 z, Mansion House or the Guildhall, for preaching upon the steps of the Royal Exchange and thereby collecting a crowd, and also for creating a disturbance in St. Paul's. In Christmas week he was forgiven the first-mentioned offence on his promise not to repeat it, but last night he varied the recreation by loudly declaring during service, in the metropolitan Cathedral, that it was a temple of idols, to the alarm and consterna- tion of those assembled. Warning and caution being alike useless, the Lord-Mayor has now sent him to prison for two months.

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HARRY SEYMOUR; OR Incidents in the Life of a Cardiff Clerk. I CHAPTER I. "Whi'.t Louie Randell going to be married? You don't say so And who is the very fortunate gentleinan "I don't know what right you have to speak in -neb a tone as that," retorted Lizzie Morton Louie Randell will make Harry Seymour a good v/ife, and in my opinion he is as fortunate as your husband will be, if ever you get one." do you mean! If ever I get one, indeed? Let me tell you. Miss Morton, that your precious bear, Charlie Thornton, was refused hy me a year ago. There I didn't mean to tell you, but you have provoked me to it." I don't, I won't believe you I'll ask him this evening, and I know very well what his answer will be." "Y ou surely wouldn't ask him such a thing But I will though, Blanche and let me tell you your teil-tale face is enough to convince me that what you have said is untrue." il Cune, Blanche, don't quarrel with your old friend Lizzie it is very ungenerous of you to say that Charlie Thornton ever asked you to be his wife you know he never did," said Nellie Bur- bidjre. ivJblanche Aubrey, Lizzie Morton, Nellie Bur- bidge, and T.'viie Randell had been at school tn. ,(: :1: ¡ :I'èir school-girl friendship had out- e i ;ie.r resilience at the finishing academy of Mrs jj. And in order that my readers may the better understand the incidents which I am about to relate, it is necessary that some description of the four friends should be given. Louie ii-iucku! was the orphan daughter of a deceased Baptist minister, her father having died in her infancy, leaving his little daughter Louisa to the care of an aunt. Her mother having shown symptoms of insanity for many years had become a confirmed monomaniac after her last child's birth, and was confined in Bridgend Asylum, where she had been ever since. Louie's aunt was an old maid, with a small competence, and had been a good friend to the motherless giri. A good education had enabled Louie to obtain the position of assistant-mistress to an elementary girls school, and at the time of which we write she had been intending to be examined for a Government certificate, had not Harry Seymour won the prize at which he had aimed for a long time. Louie was a good musi- cian. and her aunt's old piano could still yield sweet music under her touch. When Harry Sey- mour had began to broach the subject of mar- riage, Louie thought of her aunt, and how lonely she wrtuld be, and resolved to leave the dec;si(,ii with iier. The unselfish old lady had refused to be a bar to the union of two loving hearts, and pooh-poohed the notion of their re- siding with her. "No, no, Lo rue,youngmarriedpeopleare best by themselves; I shall pay a long visit to my reiat-ves in Somerset, :1::rJ when I come back shall have got used to your absence." So it was settled that Harry S'Wiuoui- should have his and they would be married at Christinas. Lizzie Morton was a handsome girl, the only daughter out cf a large family, and had been spoiled in consequence. Her father was a fore- man in a grocer's shop, and could have kept Lizzie fit home to assist her mother in household mafters, \I.1t Lizzie was fond of dress, and on that account preferred to be earning- money. So she had procured a idtuation as assistant pt a large draper's shop in St. Mary- streat, and whilst there had captivated a lawyer's cierk, whose office was nearly opposite thedrapsr's shop. Charles Thornton was a rather proud young man, of shallow, .superficial attainments, but withal possessed of a good heart. lie loved Lizzie with as much warmth as his somewhat phlegmatic temperament would admit of, but soon after their engagement gave her to understand that he did not much approve of his future wife being a shop-girl. So she had left the emporium of Howell and Co.. and was again a: home, though as yet she had not informed her family of her engagement with Charlie. Blanche Aubrey was a conceited young lady, proud of her personal attractions, which certainly were enough to have enticed the young men of the town, had not the beauty of her countenance not been marred by a disagreeable expression that rose up and hone luridly out of her handsome dark eyes when any subject displeasing to her was bruited in her hearing. She was not generally liked by her companions, but her father was a well-to-do publican, and as Blanche was his only child, she was supplied with plenty of pocket money. By dint of a skilful use of her abundant pecuniary resources, she was able to keep on good I terms with her i ri, ufi. a new brooch, ribbon, or ear rings serving as a make-peace when she had oifended any of them. But the young men of her acquaintance carefully aostained from betraying the least sign of anything beyond the merest civilities of conventional politeness, for as Harry Seymour had said to Louie, not one of his friends would have Blanche tor a wife if she were worth her weight in gold. "Whoever marries her will catch a Tartar. She thus became envious and spiteful, and even malignant the scornful ex- pression was seen more often oil her face, and she bade fair to become more remarkabK; for ugliness of expression than for beauty of feature, Nellie Burbidge was a sweet girl, not remark- ably handsome, but with a countenance betoken- ing a good disposition, a sweet temper, and amiable manners. She was only a dress- maker, assisting a widowed mother at home, and was invariably very plain yet neatly dressed. She was a quiet thoughtful girl, and might have had suitors in abundance but her mother was somewhat of an invalid, and she would not leave her. So she went quietly on in her useful life, never once giving a thought to the subject which was uppermost in the minds of her companions—a husband and a settlement in life. Having thus lightly sketched the few compan- ions, let us return to two of them. Blanche had scornfully taken her departure, and as Nellie was taking a dress home when she had encountered the others, Louie and Lizzie were left to them- selves. Lizzie seemed somewhat troubled, and Louie, perceiving this, said, "Surely Lizzie, you are not going to allow that mischief making Blanche to interfere with your good opinions of Charlie. I am sure it is not true." I don't know what to think, Louie, dear. I have before heard something of the sort; but I will tax him with it this evening, and whatever may be his faults Charlie will tell me the truth &boat it.' The two friends then parted, Lizzie to go home with a mind perturbed and ill at ease, counting the minutes that would intervene until she should see Charlie and satisfy herself whether he had indeed been rejected by Blanche Aubrey or not. But her noisy brothers coming home from school and work, soon gave her other duties to perform, which effectually banished her gloomy thoughts. Louie Randell went home, and sat down to her old piano. I wonder whether Harry is as fond of music as I am let me see. I have heard him sing, but although we have been to the theatre, and other places of amuse- ment, he has never asked me to go to a concert. I must ask him; I could not live without a piano. It is so easy to procure one now-a-days that he will not refuse me one, I think. With an income of JE150 a year, we can surely afford to pay for a piano, now they can be obtained on the easy mode of pavment." "What is my dear niece talking so much about ?" said Aunt Ann, who had come in unper- ceived. I was wondering whether Harry is musical, for, unless he buys me a piano, I shall never be happy." "Nonsense, my dear, you must subordinate your likings and inclinations to those of your hus- band. But most men are fond of music, and when he bears you play, he will find you a piano, I have no doubt." That evening witnessed the interrogation of Harry Seymour and Charlie Thornton by their fair inamorati. When Lizzie Morton asked Charlie if it was true that he had offered mar- riage to Blanche Aubrey, and had been refused, he indignantly denied it. The boot was on the other leg, Lizzie, for last year, which you know was leap year, she as good as asked me to have her. But I know better, althoug-h her father is reputed to be rich. Her prospective fortune is totally insufficient, in my estimation, to make up for her disagreeable, ill-tempered disposion. Now, Lizzie dear, Blanche has not only told you a deliberate untruth, but seeing that it was done to, if possible, separate us, I shall be very glad to learn that you have dropped her acquaintance. She is totally devoid of principle." Lizzie promised to cut her friend "Blanche, and I had barely made the promise when they met that young lady coming out of her father's pub." Not that she lived there, for Mr Aubrey was one of those who could afford to keep a private house in Roath, but Blanche's handsome face was a great attraction to the would-be fashionable young men, who frequented her father's bar, and her inordinate vanity induced her, rather oftener than her father wished, to serve behind the bar in the evening. She looked confused on meeting Charlie and Lizzie, but the expression of her countenance changed to one of fierce hatred when they passed without noticing her in any way. So Lizzie has asked him, and of course he has I .'# ;q. denied it. Well, if she believes him now, the suspicion will always be there. He could not surely have told her of my asking him No I Charlie Thornton would not be so ungenerous as that!" Ah Blanche, you forget how much more un- generous was your aunt to Lizzie. Well," pursued Blanche reflectingly, "Lizzie perhaps thinks I can't get a husband. Let me see, there's Tom Graham, Will Aylwin, and that widower, Mr Stephens-he's well off, but he's too old. Will Aylwin is too religious, but he'd make a good husband. Tom Graham wants me for my money, for he's poor-only a clerk with 20s a week. Yes, Will Aylwin must be the one. Let me see, it's church aight at St John's,i'ie s sure to be there—I'll go." And so the handsome, gaudily-attired spider went to church, certain that the fly would be there. She was right. Will Aylwin had Iong been enchanted by Blanche's beauty, but had striven hard against the infatuation, believ- ing Blanche to be thoughtless, worldly, and vain, destitute of true religion, if not of good principles. Hence her appearance at the week-evening service caused him some amount of surprise. He wondered if she was becoming more thoughtful in religious matters, and began to think how happy he might be with Blanche, if only she were converted. He could see her all the service time, and watched her narrowly. When it was over he found that it was raining heavily, and neither lie nor Blanche had any umbrella. He met her in the porch, and at her request called a cab. He also resided in Roath, and gladiy accepted a, seat in the cab. Blanche was elated at her prospects of success. What a beautiful sermon Mr Howell preached this evening," she remarked, as they rolled away towards Roath. Yes. I am sorry he's going away," answered Mr Aylwin. "So am I; .1 have only lately begun to care for such things, and as it was Mr Howell who first put such thoughts within me, I shall be very sorry when he leaves us." "You do not attend to business now, then, Miss Aubrey ?" "No, I have given up going to 'the hotel.' I cannot reconcile it with my duty now. I wish father would give it up, but although he owns to having made a competence, I fear ho will not give it up. He says he wishes to make enough to render me well off, but I don't look upon our business now as being a right and proper one. And, worse than all, he wants me to marry Mr Palmer, who keeps the 'Clarence.' Not long ago I could look upon such a union with in- difference, were there any attachment in the case, but now I think differently. You will, I fear, think me indiscreet in talking thus to you, but! sadly need a friend just now to keep me in the right path." "Then take me for such a friend, dear Miss Aubrey. With you for a life companion, I should be the happiest man alive. You dcyi't answer me, Miss Aubrey—Blanche have I been too pre- sumptuous ?" "No, it is not that but it is so sudden." "Then think of it, dear Blanche, and let me have your decision to-morrow evening. I will come to meet you up the Newport-road." They had now reached Blanche's house, and parted very cordially. Ah -Ali." Lizzie Morton, I shall forestall you now. No one can say but Mr Aylwin is as good o match as Charlie Thornton. I wonder when they are to be married. I should like to be before them." Louie RandeII had also put a question to Harry Seymour when they met that evening, and had re- ceived a very satisfactory answer. A piano, Louie, yes, dear, of course we will have one. We can get one at Thompson and Shackell's for three or four shillings a week, paid once a quarter for three years. It is a good way of obtaining a piano or a harmonium, and has led to many a working man spending his evenings a home instead cf at the pub!ic-hou-c. But is there not trouble connected with the purchase? Will you not have to find .sureties—a thing my father has always bade me specially avoid ?" "No, Louie; lam known in the town, and that is suiffcient. Many a man spgnds weekly more in beer and tobacco than would suffice to buy in this estimable way one of the best pianos in Thompson and Shackell's establishment." But do you like music, Harry?" "Not much people always told me I have no ear for it, and sc I never learnt to sing or play any instnmwnt. lint I should love to listen to you, Louie, for your aunt toils me you can play very well." Just then they met Nellie Burbidge, and asked her to join them in a walk to the Sophia Gardens. Before they had proceeded far; however, it began to rain, and so the evening was spent a.t Louie's in Green-street, and Harry was charmed to hear her play on her aunt's old piano. It is sadly out of tune, Mr Seymour," said the old lady, "but Louie can still play very well on it." Ali But you see I have promised her to purchase her a new one. We can have it in a way by which we shall not feel the expenses. We can procure one at Thompson and Shackell's by paying from two guineas per quarter upwards according to price. I had made up my mind to give Louie this one," said the old lady, thinking it would be too much of a strain upon your resources to pur- chase one just when comrneneing housekeeping. But the plan you propose is indeed a, capital one." Just then a knock came to the door, and Ann announced that Harry was wanted. It proved to be a. friend of his, who was the book-keeper at the same firm where Harry was cashier. He wanted to instruct Harry about some necessary office duties, as he was to be absent the following day. He was introduced to Nellie, having known Louie some time, and a very pleasant evening was spent. When half-past nine arrived, the visitors took their departure, and as Harry lived at Cathays, whilst Nellie and Mr Ellis, the book- keeper, lived somewhat near each other in Roath, he offered to see Nellie safely home, which offer was accepted. I should like to see Ellis and Nellie engaged," soliloquised Harry, after he had left them. Sile will make somebody a good wife." He had turned up North Road, on his way to- wards Cathays, when he was accosted by two rough looking men, who demanded money. Harry said he had none, and the next moment he was struck a tremendous blow under the ear, which laid him prostrate. (Tobe continued.)

SUICIDE IN A TEMPERANCE HOTEL. A foreigner, whose name is unknown, was dis- covered dead in a Liverpool Temperance Hotel on Monday. He went to bed apparently all right on Sunday evening, and was on Monday found on the room floor dead with a revolver grasped in his right hand, and a bullet wound in the head. One chamber of the revolver was discharged. No noise was heard in his room during the night.

At Hertford Quarter Sessions, on Monday, Baron Dimsdale intimated at the opening of an appeal case that Lord Salisbury would have pre- sided, but be had left London that morning for the Continent. I FEEL SO WEARY AND TIREO" Is the exclamation of many whom we daily meet, yet they never pause to think or reflect upon the cause or this feeling. It nian- trise from xlwjgish vnd impure- blood,' which, if neglected, is the forerunner of serious ami chronic disorders. This weary and tired feeling is nature warning us that there is something wrong, which must be set right, or a 1 ng aullingering illness will speeuily follow. What does nature require. to throw off this weary and tired feeling? She requires to have new life and energy imparted to all the organs of the body, and the best means to do so is to ta.ca "Gwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters," which purities the blood, and imparts new life and energy. It is invalu- able to those who are suffering from affections of the chest, indigestion, nervousness, debility in its worst forms, depression of spirits, and melancholy. GWILYM EVAXS'S QUININE BITTERS. THE VEGETABLE TOMC.—This preparation is now exten- sively taken throughout the country by patients sufter- inj? from debility, nervousness, and general exhaustion, and, if any value be attached to human testimony, the efficacy of this medicine has been successfully estab- lished. Its claims have been tested and proved by the medical profession and others, and corroborated by the written testimonials of eminent men. The Quinine Bitters contain not only a suitable quantity of Quinine in each dose, but the active principles of the following well-known herbs-sarsaparilla. saffron, gentian, laven- der. and dandelion root. The use of Quinine is well known, but it has never been satisfactorily combined with these preparations until, after overcoming consi derable difficulties, the proprietor was able to secure a perfectly uniform preparation, combining all the essential properties of the above plants in thei greatest purity and concentration. It is now established as a family medicine, and is increasing in popular avour the more it is known and tested. Gwylim Evans's Quinine Bitters is a tonic Pick-me-up, scientifically mixed in happy proportions. MODE OF ACTSON.—(And here lies the secret of the Remedy.)—The Quinine Bitters (bein a vesreiahi'• tonic), by their peculiar power, strengthen that part or the system which is weakest, and, therefore, mos liable to colds and their attendant diseases. The in- gredients they contain cannot be put into pills, but the patient can follow his usual occupation without fear of exposure. GWILYM EVANS' QUININE BITTERS are recommended by Doctors, Analysts, Chemists. Sold in s 9d and 4s 6d Bottles, and Cases containing three. Is 6d Bottles at 12s 6d per case, by all Chemists, or from the Proprietor, arriage free, parcels post (under cover)- -N-.B.-Noone hould suffer without trying "Gwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters."—Mr GWILYM EVANS, F.C.S., Proprietor, aboratory, Uanelly, South Wales, 70868 J.

I YANKEE YARNS, It seems that the fame of Alphonso's linguistic acquirements have come to officer Conlon's eats. That eminent guardian of the law meeting two other members of the force one day said to them Do yez know, my bys, that haytbin Alphonso spakes Dutch?" .¡ Divil a bit. Begorm I don't belave a word of it," replied the men of Erin. "But he does now, and I'll prove it to yez." Alphonso was at this- mcment coming up the the street. Alphonso, come here, my boy." And then turning to his palls "See here you, I'll bet ye a dollar that he can slipake Dutch," The money was put up. Conlon's dollar being matched by two halves. Alphonso, my boy, shpake a little Dutch, for us," said omcer Conlon, with an en- couraging smile. But Alphonso was coy. "Come, come, my boy, be obleeging." Alphonso eyed his tormentors for a moment, and then, with the ut- most simplicity said a few worda in Chinese. Didn't I tell yez ?" exclaimed officer Conlon, triumphantly. The two policeman acknowledged the corn, and paid the bet without a murmur. This is an incorrigible skeptic who asserts that a woman is at the bottom of everything. Of course the idea is absurd, hut then the old fool will make me uncomfortable by bringing up all sorts of co- incidences and analogies to support his thesis. The other day I thought I had him. A man in the country fell down in a well. There I cried triumphantly "what do you say to that?'' Humph!' {said my tormentor: we'll soon invest- tigate that." The man was fished out and cross- examined. It transpired that he was standing up over the well, entangling the rope from the bucket. "Yes, Ayes," interrupted the woman-hater im- patiently, "but how were you so careless? Why did you fall into the well ?" The country bump- kin gave a broad grin: Couldna help, it, sir." You could not help it! Tut, tut, sir, don't at- temp to deceive me. There was a woman in the case. Well, sir, I will say," admits the rustic, painfully, as there was Mary IAnn up there a- cleaning the windows, and as I did kind of look at Mary Ann and—and—" And fell into the well ot course: I knew it," said the cynic im- pl-.tcably.-Alt,e)-t tiavarus, is the Ingleside. Mr Archibald Forbes, who is now making a lecture tour in America, tells an amusing story, rather at his own expense, of his gratification at the apparent desire of the "man and brother for higher intellectual culture. On arriving at the station at West Chester, Pennsylvania, where he was to lecture, a darky cabman offered his ser- vices to convey him to the hotel. On arrival, Mr. Forbes asked the extent of pecuniary remunera- tion expected for the assistance. The darky re- plied, "Well sah, if you'd jes' gib me a ticket to de lectur', sah, I should be right glad." This un- usual request from a cabman struck him not only as singular and laudable, but as quite complimen- tary to himself so he said, Certainly. And haven't you a missis?' "Oh, j7es, sah, I's got a misss Well, you shall have one for her ;"and Mr Forbes requested his agent to hand to the knowledge-seeker the requisite cards. On reach- ing the lecture-room, he cast a glance over the audience to discover his coloured friend, but he had not arrived—nor did he put in an appearance. The next morning, on getting into the same cab to go to the station, Mr Forbes said, I didn't see you at the lecture last night." No, sah, 1 were not dar.' '"But I gave you tickets for yourself and wife ?" Yes, sah, 1 know dat, sah but you see, sah, I jes' sold Item tickets for a dollar, sah, 'cause I don't know much 'bout lecturs, andtought I'd ruder liab de cash, sah." TAXIDERMISTS' TRICK3. Ijxidermists have inore fun in this world than some people seem to think. One of them told a New York reporter how he once executed an order loi, a sea-serpent one hundred feet long, four feet thick, and with an "authentic history." The tax- idermist, whose name was lioome, sent to a big hark tishery and offel-ed a c'jut for every square toot of shark skm he could get. As the skins would otherwise have been thrown away, be got ail he wanted. He then built a wooden frame for the skeleton, covered it with canvas, softened the squares of shark skin, and stuck them on, laping them over each other like scales he made the them over each other like scales he made the jaws like those of alligators, but much larger, and put in whales teeth, lining the mouth with fish- skin painted red. The showman made a good deal of money with the" serpent," as the jaws could be opened and shut, and he used to hire a girl to stand in the mouth. Among Roomes other exploits was the manufacture of a gorilla 15 feet high out of six biack bears' skins lIe had a sign out reading Mermaids made and repaired." This work had to be ciori6 very carefully to escape detection. He would kill and stuff the upper half of a female monkey, then take the lower half of a fish called grouperj skin it, join them together- and put on the scales one by one, and then treat the whole with acids to make it look old and natural. Then he had to arrange the pedigree. He gave the thing to a friend, master of a vessel going to China. At Yokohama the crew were made drunk, the alleged mermaid was thrown overboard on the sly, and then fished out with a great hurrry by the deluded crew, every one of whom signed a paper saying that they saw it swimming around the boat, and witnessed the mate kill it and haul it aboard. n A SPARK PUT OUT. w uen r, i. fiarnuin w young man, ne paia impetuous attentions to og lady living in Newtown. Being a sou o. i ID honest parents, he was obliged to walk owr to the village which contained his adored on the Sunday nights that he vis ted her. When there, he laboured under another awkward disadvantage. The young lady's father conceived a singular and most vio- lent dislike to the amiable embryotic showman. This necessitated extreme caution on the part of the lover—and he was equal to the emergency as a matter of course His ingress to the house was by a window on the second floor, which he reached by springing from the cover of a cistern curb, and catching hold of the window ledge. His egress was effected by hanging full length from the ledge, and then dropping to the cistern cover, a fall of about six inches. One Sunday he took with him on the visit a young man who now carries his silvered hairs behind a Danbury grocery counter. They reached the place, the young lady saw the signal, opened the window, and^the famous Bar- num sprang up into bliss. The young man was to amuse himself about the village until the hour of departure. He amused himself. It doesn t seem possible that anybody could be so brutal, but that young man actually removed the cover to the cis- tern. Then he sat down by the fence and ate currants and calmly waited for the result, i 1. finished his sparking, and backed out of the win- dow the full length his hands would permit. "Good-bye he gasped in a whisper, as he pre- pared to droo. "Good-bye, Fninoy she whispered back. Then he let go, and instantly shot from sight into a yawning abyss of darkness and rainwater and, if he had been ot solid iron heated to a white glow, he could not have created more of a commotion in striking the water, It is not necessary to repeat what Mr Barnum said, both w hen crawling out of the cistern and during he eight miles' walk home.-Danbury Paper. "THAT HEATHEN CHINEE. Among the passeng-is who boarhed tne western- bound train the other evening, says an Ene paper, was Quaug Long, Esq., the washerman of Seventh Street. Seeing the reporter, he became clamorous for a personal which he wanted in- serted in an early number of the journal. "Going far, Quang?" asked tbe reporter. Going home? was the sententious reply. "Not to China. "Yes." The reporter looked at (juang si ticket and saw it was gocd for San Francisco and on to the port of Shanghai, in the Celestial empire. The pagan and reporter sat down to exchange farewells. in their conversation Quang stated that he had made enough money in Erie to support him and his family in affluence the remainder of his life. Sewn up in the lining of his pants he had bills for a large amount, which he was going to pay into the Chinese bank in San Francisco, in which he had already quite a respectable sum deposi- ted, and would get a draft for the whole on a Chinese money-house," as he termed it. In a little pocket near the concealed bills be had a sharp-pointed dagger, and behind him he carried an arsenal of assorted fire-arms that not only im- peded his locomdfion, but made it risky for those who shared the eame car with him. He said the fortune he hadmade in washing shirts would be as good as millions, and henceforth he would be a big man, a" boss" among his fellows. inms satchel he had quite a collection of spurious nickel, bronze, and silver coins which had been "shoved" on to him by unprincipled patrons before he became cmlizedj to the extent of know- ing good from bad money. Geing to give these to your children when you have them, I suppose remarked the reporter. Quang shook his head and looked knowing. Me going to pass 'em on Chineeman in San Fangsisco just come °yeJ» said he. And then fcho rep rte- apologised for '•aUinn Quan lion* < ag'an.

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FACTS AND FANCIES. A wife's vocation—industry. A dead-set"—Artificial teeth. A mob cap "—The cap of liberty. Quick at-figures-The dancing master. A poetical licence is often a lie without sense. The latest is an electric girl-she shocks every- body. The boy who stole six pancakes got a sick spank ache. One of the -things that can't be re-vealed—A calf's bones. A hitch in the proceedings-Stopping to tie your horse. A forthcoming event-One that succeeds three others. A sage remark-" A little more of the dressing, please." I declare you beat;,me,"exclaimed the drum to the stick. The most acceptable present for timid men- Presence of mind. A post of danger—That of crossing-sjveepirig on a level crossing. When a man falls down his temper generally gets up before he does. Jumping at a conclusion-The leap year pro- posal of a merry maiden. It is the man in the mud who sees something in the rain to add mire. A popular writer laments the fact that poets are declining. It is different with the poets them- selves. They lament the fact that the editors of magazines and newspapers are declining. Whatever may be said of the average English- man,he always gives you credit for the possession of intelligence; for, when telling you anything he invariably winds up with "you know." You're guided too much by others' opinions," said she to her lord for my part I believe in having a little mind of my own." "And you have it," was the brutal remark of her lord, as he put on his hat. An Irish servant, observing her mistress feeding a pet female canary asked how long it took them craters to hatch?" Three weeks," was the reply. oeh, sure, that is the same as any other fcfowl except a pig-" It is strange how sensitive some people are con- cerning the size of their feet. We understand that there is a duel now pending between two Arkanas editors simply because one of them alluded to the other as a big-soled man." "I would rather vote for a long-eared donkey than for you," said an independent voter to a candidate on election day. Oh, come now, you ought not to allow yourself to be influenced by family ties," responded the candidate. "Alas 1" said a moralising bachelor, within ear- shot of a witty young lady of the company, this world is at best but a gloomy prison "Yes," sighed the merciless minx, especially to poor creatures doomed to solitary confinement." A poet says—" Ob, summer land. Oh, sunny south. I turn to thee. I ope my mouth and drink thy fragrance once again." "Fragrance, in the sunny south, costs about 10 cents a drink, and its other name is Old Rye. The poet must have sold a poem. Sonny, is your mother at home ?" asked the minister, addressing the little boy who was standing at the door. Yes, she is at home," was the reply but I guess she doesn't want to see you. I heard her just tell pa that she hated fools, and that she never saw a man yet who wasn't a fool." Two gentlemen are discussing a third, while the coach jolts painfully over the uneven surface of the street. "He's a sad scoundrel, I fear," s:.ys one. Not such a sad scoundrel," replied the other, as the vehicle plunged into a hole in the pavement, "as you-" "Wh—what?" As you think," says the other, triumphantly, recovering his breath. The sight of a man wheeling a baby carriage in the street is a sign, not that the child is weak, but that the man's wife is strong. And yet if we were to judge from the amiable grin with which the fond father, under these circumstances, salutes every passing acquaintance, we might erroneously suppose he was really doing it just for the fun of the thing. A Yorkshire trainer revealed his method of meeting a conjugal storm. His plan, he said, was to keep silence and nod his acquiescence to every- thing, no matter what was said by his spouse. Yes," replied one of his friends, but then she has it all her own way." "Just so," replied the Tyke, with satisfaction, and nothing annoys her so much. There is nothing women hate like a walk over." A sharp student was called up by the worthy professor of a celebrated college, and asked the question, Can a man see without eyes?" "Yes, sir," was the prompt reply. "How, sir, cried the astonished professor, "can a man see without eyes? Pray, sir, how do you make that out?" He can see with one, sir," replied the ready- witted youth. And the whole class shouted with delight at the triumph over metaphysics. The box-keepers at the Olympic Theatre were at one time dressed in handsome liveries. A nervous old gentleman, who went to see "Ariadne one evening, was greatly alarmed at their ap- pearance and when the box-keeper askød him for his ticket, he drew him aside, and said, after great hesitation—" My name is Brown, but I must beg you will not announce it." He' was evidently labouring under the fear that the momentthe door of the dress-circle was opened, the servant would bawl out, "Mr and Mrs Brown, in the same way that the guests are announced at an evening party. In a small village on the Firth of Forth lived an old farmer, who was called Park Jock, of whom the following anecdote is told. One day while working in the farmyard he had the mis- fortune to get his leg broken. The doctor who set the limb told him that he was on no account to drink whisky, as it would run into the sore. Now the love of a dram was Jock's weakness, and to aggravate the case the accident happened at New Year's time. Jock, however, was deter- mined to get his dram. Having got a rope and made a noose on it, he flung it over the rafters, put his foot in the noose, and drew his leg to- wards the roof. The doctor, when he saw the position of the limb, and also that Jock was dead drunk, asked him what in all the earth he was doing. To which Jock replied, "Ye see, sir, ye telt me the whusky wid gang to the sair, so I just strung ma leg up like this to prevent it." A portion of the boiler had slightly bulged out. The engineer gave his reasons for it, but old Tuffun, the owner, was not satisfied. He held another theory. To fettle the matter it was requi- site to go into the boiler, and old Tuffun resolved to go in himself. But here was a difficulty. Tuffun was stout and the manhole was small. Nothing daunted, however, Tuffun the next day took very little breakfast and no dinner. He then by dint of much struggling and squeezing got inside the boiler, and found his theory correct. But when he came to get out again he discovered, after many attempts, he could not Either through his exertions in getting in, or from finding that he was right and the engineer wrong, he had wisibly swelled" since getting in, and was altogether too big to get out. Here was a pretty to-do Must some of the plating be taken off to get him out or wb >t ? Hapuy th'ugl". He /ild pull some of his c!< th- and try. He did, and faded, off. Another try. Failure Again and ag..ull. At last with every stitch off he tried, and—failed 1 Here," he howled to the outside ginning men, bust the blooming thing and let me out No," said the engineer, you might get out, sir, if we tiled round the manhole a little." So they filed, and Tuffun waited, practically illustrat- ing his name. At last he got out as naked a,s sr Adam, as bruised as mashed corn, and as savag;e as a bear with a sore head. Tuffun has nevier been in a boiler singe, and he does not iniendito either, < •

NEW CHURCH FOR CANTON. The new church dedicated to St. Catherine's, in a new and populous district of the parish of Canton, and the foundation stone of which was laid by Mrs Vaughan, of the Deanery, Llandaff, on the 14th November, 1883, will be opened for divine worship on Wednesdav next, the 7th inst. Morning service will be at 11.30, when the Very Rev. the Dean of Llandaff will preach the sermon. Evening service at 7.30; preacher, the Very Rev. the Archdeacon of Llandaff. Also on the following Thursday and Friday there will be evening services at 7.30, the preachers at which will be-on Thursday, the Rev. C. J. Thompson, vicar of St. John's, Cardiff; and on Friday, the Rev. J. R. Buckley, vicar of Llandaff. The church has been built according to designs pre- pared by Mr John Prichard, the architect for the work and diocesan architect, the builder being Mr Shepton, of Cardiff. At present, to meet the wants of the district, a por- tion only of the intended edifice has been built, consisting of three bays of the nave and aisles, 44 feet in length, affording accomodation for 422 adults. When completed, the church will be of very large dimensions, affording accomoda- tion for a mixed congregation of 836, without the aid of galleries. The nave will be 74 feet long by 26 feet wide north and 'south aisles, each 71 feet by 18 feet; a chancel, 33 feet by 23 feet, with short chancel aisles, each 16 feet by 19 feet, and t will have north and south porches. The style of its architecture is Early Decorated. The walls are substantially built in courses of Pennant atone, but with a view to economy, and to promote the facility of hearing and seeing, the arcades are of ornamental timber, poised on slender moulded shafts of stone, importing an airy expression to the interior, and more the character of an auditorium than is generally met with. The roofs are not only boarded at the back of the rafters, but have boarded ceilings, which it is hoped will promote the accoustic pro- perties of the building,and tend to guard it against the extremes of temperature. With the same object the roofs are covered with Broseleg tiles. The walls internally are lined with pale buff bricks, and the alleys are paved with encaustic tiles. The windows are glazed with effective ornamental quarry glazing. The church is well warmed by Gibbs', of Liverpool, hot-water system. The eastern part of the building was selected in preference to the western to facilitate its junction with the chancel (which is the portion which will probably next be undertaken), and so making a complete church, though shorn of its future western extension. When the church is completed, a handstone stone pulpit in masonry of the late Bishop 01- livant will be presented by an anonymous donor, and a carved oak lectern by Mr Clarke, the carver. A handsome altar has also been presen- ted. The estimated cost of the whole church is 26,550. The portion at present built has cost in round numbers 23,100, towards which the com- mittee have £2,940, showing a deficit of JE160. The collections after each of the services will be for the building fund, and it is to be hoped that they will enable the church to be opened free of debt. The committee also desire to make an earnest appeal to the inhabitants and owners of property in Cardiff and Llandaff for help to enable them to put forward some additional por- tion, at least, of the entire church.

THE PARLIAMENTARY FRANCHISE. The Liberal Central Association has issued a useful abstract to the several parliamentary fran- chises as they stand under the new law. COUNTIES.—In the counties freeholders, copy- holders, and leaseholders are entitled to vote, the qualifications being as follows :— holders, and leaseholders are entitled to vote, the qualifications being as follows Freehold of inheritance or by purchase of the clear annual value of 40s or upwards. Freehold for life must be of the clear annual value of £5, unless the same comes by descent, marriage, devise, or promotion to any benefice or office, in all which cases 40s clear annual value is sufficient. Freeholders by purchase are required to be six months in possession previous to July 31st; by descent, &c., no length of possession is necessary. Copyhold of the clear annual value of L5 or upwards. Copyholders are subject to the same terms of possession as freeholders. Leasehold, if created originally for a term of not less than 60 years, of the clear annual value of L5 or upwards if for a term of more than 20, but less than 60 years, the clear annual value must be JB50. Leaseholders by purchase are re- quired to be 12 months in possession to Julv 31st; by descent, &c., no length of possession is necessary. Persons qualified must send in their claims to the overseers on or before the 20th of July. No person can claim in respect of a rent chargo other than the owner of the whole of the tithe rent charge of a rectory, vicarage, chapelry, or benefice, to which an apportionment of the tithe rent charge shall have been made in respect of any portion of tithes. No more than one person can claim in respect of any estate in land or tenement, unless the same shall be derived by descent, succession, marriage, marriage settle- ment or will, nor unless the owners occupy the land or tenement, and are bona fide engaged as partners carrying on trade or business thereon. COUNTIES AND BOROUGHS.- The occupation franchise (of three classes) and the lodger fran- chise arc common to counties and boroughs, as follows Occupation as owner or tenant of any land or tenement of a clear yearly value of not less than £10, Occupation as owner or tenant of any dwelling- house. Occupation by virtue of any office, service, or employment of any dwelling-house which is not inhabited by a person under whom such office, service, or employment is held. In the above three classes of occupiers, the occupation need not be of the same premises, but may be of different premises, occupied in immediate and unbroken succession in the same constituency. Occupation as lodger of any lodgings of a clear yearly value, if let unfurnished, of £10. Succes- sive occupation is also allowed in the case of lodg- ings, but it must be from one part to another of the same house. In all cases of occupation, whether as owner or tenant, servant or lodger, twelve months' occupa- tion is required up to the 15th day of. July in any year. Occupiers need not send in claims unless they find that their names are omitted from the list published by the overseers on the 1st of August, or that in the entry on such list there be a. misconception of some essential particular or particulars, and in case of such omi-sion or misconception they must send in their claims to the overseers on or before the 25th of,August. Lodgers must claim every year, and when claiming for the first time, must send in their claims to t he overseers on or before the doth August. After the first year, lodgers continuing in the same lodgings and desiring £ o continue on the register, may send in their claims to the overseers from the 16th to 25th July in- elusive, and their names will then appear on th" list published by the overseers on the 1st of August. The declaration annexed to the claim oi a lodgsr is held to be prtma, fa;cie evidence of his qualification.

THE MURDER OF A SWEET- I HEART, Resumption of the Inquest. I The inquest on the body of Laura Wilson, who was stabbed at Woolwich on December 22nd, was resumed on Monday afternoon. Mr (xeoghegan attended on behalf of Frederick Marshall, who is accused of the murder. Mrs Hewitt, mistress of the deceased (recalled), said Marshall called every day at her shop for to- bacco, but of late he had been forbidden the house. After this "he climbed into the gaiden several times, and looked through the window She therefore informed the police, who cautioned the accused not to repeat his conduct. In cross- examination, Mrs Hewitt said 'oceased and accused were very fond of each ot7 She never heard him threaten Laura. Witness desired to contradict a report that her house was one of bad repute. William Wilson, father of the deceased girl, who was greatly agitated, was examined at some length, and a number ot letters were read by Inspector Dewling. No *resn witnesses were called, and the enquiry was further adjourned. called, and the enquiry was further adjourned.

KAT'S COMPOUND, a demulcent anoydne, ex necsorant, for Coughs and Colds. Sold by all Chemists1 %d. is, If 33 9' 212 rJ for.Broken Arf-u»i<s 6d- i;, „ -M r.-yvh re. U' -y SV'rfr"U. ,a •, KAT's O0ilP0U.D, tor Congas and ooias, :.s equally serviceable for Horses and-Cattle, and ?s 9d. ( THE VERY BEST. "I have examined the PiUs known as KERNICKIS VEGETABLE PILLS. I certify their composition to be purely vegetable. I have also tried their effect, aud consider them one of the best Aperient Pills for consti- pated habits that I know of. "(Signed), JCaN BALBIRNIE, M.A., M.D." ■ 166 Sold by all Chemists, in 7id, 13d, and 2s 9d boxes.

I THE INDISPOSITION OF MR GLADSTONE. How the Premier Spent Yesterday., Our Hawarden correspondent telegraphs aD" Monday evening —Mr Gladstone,since his return home, seems to -have improved in health con- siderably, a circumstance which is probably due chiefly to the fact that he has been able- i to sleep more, comfortably at night. The slight attack of lumbago causes him little inconvenience, and has certainly not impaired his general health and spirits. This morning Mi: Gladstone breakfastod in bed, and remained irk his bedroom until somewhat late, a drizzling raia offering no inducement to out-door exercise- J In the afternoon, however, however, the weather- < cleared up, and the right hon. gentlemen- in company witn Mrs Gladstone, took an enjoy- able drive. On their return to Hawarden village Mr Gladstone dismissed the carriage and walked f through the park to the castle, a distance of s about halfi a mile. Owing to the lumbago, Mr Gladstone was obliged to lean upon a stick and t incline his. body slightly to the right, and this gave an appearance of feebleness altogether de- ceptive. f The Press .Association special representative at • Hawarden s:\ys :—It is expected that Sir Andrew Clark will visit the Premier towards the end of ( the present week. Sir Andrew is in a position to. leave London at any moment should his ser- | vices be required, but the improvement. 1 noticeable in Mr Gladstone's condition. f- on Monday morning continued throughout the f day, and in the afternoon it was evident that he had considerably gained ground. The right hon.. gentleman, did not attend early morning service as usual, nor will lie do so until the lumbago, which at present occasions him some pain, disap- pears, as particular instructions have been given that quietude is necessary for the return of his ordinary health. Mr Gladstone has decided not to attend the rent audit dinner at Hawarden on Wednesday next. Many of the tenants paying rent to the agents at the Glynne Arm, expressed disappointment at this decision and enquired most kindly after their landlord's health, two of the tenants also making personal enquiries at the Castle. The weather on Monday morning being damp, Mr Gladstone did not take his cus- tomary walk in the grounds before luncheon. He rose at 10.30, after having passed a rest- less night, and remained-with Mrs Gladstone and the guests assembled at the Castle for the even- ing's concert. At 3.30, the rain having ceased. the Premier and Mrs Gladstone went out for a drive in the grounds. They both.alighted oppo- site the Glynne Arms, where a number of people had collected for the purpose of paying their rent?. Many of these' alked forward to meet Mr Gladstone, and made inquiries as to his health. They all noticed the Premier was looking very pale, and that he walked with aperceptible stoop, the effect of the r attack of lumbago. Entering the park gates, Mr and Mrs Gladstone took a quiet stroll along the private paths leading to the waterfall. Afcer a rest in the neighbourhood of the waterfall. they continued their walk on to the Castle. Atseven o'clock in the evening the Press Association repre- sentative was informed that Mr Gladstone was j making satisfactory progress, that ha had much improved throughout the day, and th.-it with care W and continued rest it was expected be will have regained his usual health in the course of the next week or two. The Premierdined with the family party. _—— i

OUR MINERS AND THEIR j ORPHANS., In a letter to the Times. Mr C. B. Vincent,of the Miners' Ophanage, Rotherham, states# "Towards meeting a great want in connection | with this peculiar class of British workmen a | movement has been set on foot, the design being to establish a national home into whiob oiphans of colliers, and others of like employment may be received and-clothed and properly cared for, and so trained as to fit them to become good and industrioas members of society." On the same subject Lord Shaftesbury has addressed the following letter to Mr Vincent Sir,-Your proposed institution, if successful, will be one of the wisest and best ever known. By success I mean ample support at the outset, for I feel assured that when once oegua an association r so remedial and so adapted to the peculiar danger and sutfering that beset the miners' calling cannot fail to prosper. I knew a good deal of their underground life when I was carrying a bill for the removal of women and children from the mines and collieries, and, after a descent into a pit and a survey-I may almost say taste—of what I saw and heard there, I came to the conclusion that no department of industry was more entitled than that of the subterranean workers to the sympathy and assistance of the country at large. I shall be happy to contribute JB5. [ heartily wish I could give more. L500 would not be misplaced.-Your obedient servant, SHAFTESBURY."

HEAVY FAILURES IN LONDON. Liabilities, £ 400,000. The suspension was ani-Aouueed on Monday SH Messrs F. and J. Badart Freres, of Lower Ordnance Mills, Rotherhithe, seed crushers and merchants. The firm was established in If¡56. and has latterly carried on an extensive tract's in the import of seed, in addition to seed crusning J and the oil cake business. The liabilities are estimated at between £ 300,000 and £ 400,000, the greater part of which are covered by produce, or otherwise secured. The books are inthe hands of Cooper Brothers and Co., of George-street, Mansion House, and Messrs Stibbard, Gibson, and Co., the solicitors.

THE SCOTCH CROFTERS7 j REVOLT. j i Enthusiastic Reception of the I' Giendale Martyr. John MacPher^on, the" Glendale Mlartyp, returned to Portree, on Monday, from the South, and was received by a great crowd with blowing of horns and cheering, He attenvurds addressed a meeting in the open air, where the "usual resolutions were adopted.

ILLNESS OF EARL CAIRNS. Farl Cairns has been confined to his house at Bournemouth since Christmas wlth » severe cold. He has been under the care of a local homeo- pathic physician, but his illness is by no means of an alarming character. The recent severe weather, and the dampness consequent oil the thaw which set in on Sunday; have prevented his leaving the house, bnt his lordship has not, as reported, been obliged to keep his room, and it is fully expected that he will be in his usual health in a day or two.

DEATH OF THE RECORDER OF PLYMOUTH. Mr Henry Thomas Cole, Q.C., died on Monday morning, at his residence, Glendower-plaoe, «»conMir M-Kjgr mnrnine- and his deatb ens>ued at five a.m. Mr Dole who was a barr'ster of the Western Circuit, was a Reorder for Plymouth and Devonport Tnd wasformerly M.P. for Penryn and .Fal- mouth. mouth.

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