The Pembroke County Guardian and Cardigan Reporter

ILLUSTRATED HUMOUR. Teacher: Johnny, You may ccive me a defini- tion of hypocrisy." Johnny: "It's when a feller says he loves his teacher." Poet: T,i sir, is the only poem I ever wrote. Editor: "Well, cheer up. Nobody's go;]! to take it away from vou." -friend: "Are you superstitious? Do you be- lieve in signs?" Successful Merchant: "No. Newspaper advertisements are better—and ciieaper." I-ather: "What makes f' cr.n sup- port- my daughter?" Suiter: Wei!. I've been en;.a<;ed to her for two vears, and it hasn't broke me." Sea Captain: "What do you call this?" 11 V •^ou'H°n; sir." Sea Captain: "Well, wel rnus*' have sailed on bouillon all mv life and did not know it." arrant nonsense," said Mr. TTenpeck. tt 1^,1^ there always being room at the top." <'n. his wife sarcastically replied, "when were you up to see?" I SHE: "DO you know what I'd do if you should try to kiss niu? He: "No. Whv? She: "Oh nothing; only you don't seem to have any curiosity." U Oh, Tom, that I should see you come home in that condition." M'dear, ain't I always talkin' to you 'bout goin' t' sleep 'n leavin' gash buruin'? It's simply ridiculous!" His Wife: "You're home at last! I thought you'd never come." Mr. Outlate: "And ab- sence, instead of making the heart grow fonder, has merely affected the temper." ''Let me learn from your eyes what my fate is to be," sang the poet; let them teach me the secrets." "Thank you," interrupted the lady: they have pupils enough now." Aseum: Jabsley is awful vain, isn't he?" Wander: Well, rather. Why, he has fitted up a phonograph in his rooip to play See the conquering hero comes!' when he opens the door." SUITOR: "I cannot boast of wealth-but I I have brains. The members of mv literary club will tell you that you would have the smartest debater in town for a son-in-law Father: "And I can assure you, my dear fellow, that you would have the greatest lecturer in the town for a mother-in-law Patience: "I saw that handsome Mr. Styles we met at the ball in his motor-car to-day." Patrice: "Did he speak to you?" "Yes; he shouted to me to look out as I was crossing the street." Oh, Arthur, how happy I would be alone with you on a quiet island in the distant "Have you any other wish, dearest Ella?" "Oh, yes! Do get me a season ticket for the opera!" See the meter, please," brusquely asked the representative of the gas company. Well," re- plied the little woman, with a satirical twinkle in her eye, it's pretty busy, but I suppose you can see it for a moment." A Fair Exchange.—Jones: "Sillibub has a medicine which he declares is a sure cure for heart disease." Smith: "Did it cure him?" Jones: "Yes; it gave him such a frightful at- tack of indigestion that he forgot all about his f heart."

MAIN STREET, FISHGUARD. JOSEPH REES Wishes to inform the inhabitants of Fishguard and district that he has opened as a GREENGROCER AND FRUITERER At the above address. Fruit, &c., of the best quality and at the lowest prices. A trial order solicited. [au3. I I pal [ Waterproofs, softeiii, md pre- serves the life of BOOTS and MM Allows polish. Pleasant aroma. 22 Exhibition highest awards. Tins, 2d., 6d., 1, t 1/- 2/6 of Bootmakcrs, lers, Ironmongers, Manu- lactorv. DAVID DAVIES, High Street, Haverfordwest, Has just received his stock of Mackintoshes and Overcoats for the coming Season. Largest selection of — — — Men's and Boys' Clothing — — — in Pembrokeshire. Nicholson's Rainproof Coats Guaranteed to be absolutely rainproof. 52ju3'06 TEETH. TEETH. TEETH. MESSRS. E. ENGLAND, LTD., Can be consulted from 11 to 5 p.m., at MISS JOHN, Bookseller and Stationer, 3, Victoria Place, New Bridge, Haverfordwest Every alternate Tuesday and Saturday. Next Visit, Tuesday, Feb. 6, & Saturday, Feb. 10, and will also attend at CHARLES STREET, MILFORD HAVEN (Mr Meyler, Chemist), every other Tuesda: Next Visit, Feb. 13. AT Mr. MEYLER'S, CHEMIST, MAIN STREET, FISHGUARD, every other Thu-t-idry, i Next visit, Feb. 15. AT MRS: JAMES', GWALIA HOUSE, CARDIGAN, every other Saturday. Next Visit, Feb. 3. Also at Miss OWEN'S, DEWI HOUSE, CROSS SQUARE, ST. DAVID'S, every other Thursday. Next Visit. Feb 8. -0- I ? CONSULTATION FREE OF CHARGE. TEETH. 1. Perfection in eating and speaking. 2. Perfectly natural and life-like in appearance. Upper or Lower Set From £ 2 10s, Single Tooth. to 5a. Teeth extracted painlessly with Nitrous Oxide Gas. ¡ TOM DAVIES7 Great Clearance Sale LL675 worth ofstock,, must be cleared before removing to New Premises in High Street. $;raO"J VW, A Rare Opportunity. Genuine Bargains. Terms—Strictly Cash during Sale. Note address— THE COUNTY CLOTHIER, 11, Market Street, .XSLJ iliMTH" i|i a *• -f HAVERf^^EST. L. Æ1f nq Ti/TIf tI' "It 1 E S 111111'71'10 N S 0 N FOR .YOUR si E ros'*Akb lioutit t /H. SAMUEL WtyL SENA YW HIS US FDPP S book — bargaJns ABSOLUTELY rIItt H To Meount all th« adnntalal this nolqM ul I I nrfaBfe ■ ■ I'rft—Catalogue omcm on k»«M would —JH book, for e*«ry ton 4( a loaf HMilffj Bv rtf^|ewjKcratloiiar-n««r: opportunities tar tho I THERE ARE BARGAINS IN WATCHES, RINGS, GEMS; LEVE?f ■ BARGAINS iA PLATE, CUTLERY, SILVERWARE, Sc. — ■ ,—ALL AT SUCH AMAZINGLY LOW FACTORY PRICES £ ] glStS* *8 ■ JfTHAT TO NEED IS TO BUY. MSFhTSSS H VlMN la the prlvila^a of a month's froo trial of any article, AP f n aal full particulars are flven of the QBAND fHEX PBIM /*)(■ H PpWjraloh enaurea an extra bonua gift tmmdth ottry < I > BY HESITATING TO MAKE YOURSELF THE PDS- AMT FR9 i ■ SES$Q*OF It SAMUEL'S FREE BOOK YOU ARE ■ I FOREGOING THESE AND CSAHY OTHER PF VI- ill VlM ■ LEGES WHICH THE WRITING OF A POSTCARD ■ WILL PLACE YOU IN A POSITION TO ENJOY. I A TYPICALjRoacw BARBAIN. ,_|Y0U SHOULD THErzFSIK WRITE TO-D AT. ¡