The Pembroke County Guardian and Cardigan Reporter

ILLUSTRATED HUMOUR. He: "They say that people who marry soon grow to look alike." She: "Then you must consider my refusal as final." Teacher: "Willie, what is the first thing to do if a boy should be sunstruck?" Willie:"Let him stay home from school." There's one good thing about a motor-cas." "What's that?" "It doesn't try to run up to every water-trough it comes to." He: "There's one thing I will say you make fuite as well as your mother used to make." She! "What's that, Fred? He: "Trouble." In what sort of meter is Scribbler's poem written?" "Gas meter!" "What on eÐrth-" So many unnecessary feet, you know." Mother: "Now, Willie, when I have to punish you it hurts me worse than it does you." Willie (resentfully): "Why ain't you a-hollerin' then?" Miss Slimpurse: Wasn't Mr. Harduppe ter- ribly embarrassed when he proposed to you ? Miss Gotrox: "Financially, perhaps; not other- I wise." FIR?T LADY: "There goes poor Brown. The war ruined him! Second Lady: "The fcar! How was that, dear? Was he wounded?" First Lady: "No, but he married the widow of an officer who was killed in battle!" The Doctor: "Your husband may recover, madam. There is no occasion to fear the worst." Sobbing Wife: Yes, there is. I look perfectly horrid in black." Edith: Papa is immensely pleased to hear you are a poet." Ferdy: "Is he?" Edith: "Oh, very! The last of my lovers he tried to kick was a football player." Jeweller: "This ring is five shillings more than the plain on account of the chasing." Farmer: But you won't have to chase me. I'm goin' to pay for what I get." Do you think that music is of any practical benefit in life ?" Well, judging from the photo- graphs of eminent violinists, it must keep the hair from falling out!" Mr. Meane: "The paper says ekirts are to be worn longer than ever." Mrs. Meane: "Well, you needn't reckoli on me wearing mine any longer. I've worn it five years." "I make it an invariable rule," said Mr. Stormington Barnes, not to talk about myself." "Indeed?" Yes, When I was asked recently who the greatest Hamlet is I refused to answer. Miss TEASELY "You know Floss Jones? She's actually gone abroad under an assumed name! Miss Pry: Gracious goodness! Oh! do tell me what she did?" Miss Teasely: "Got married, and went abroad for her honeymoon! And what makes you think I'm a slow reader?" asked Merritt. Because," replied Mifis Snyder, I lent you a book more than a year ago, and you don't seem to have finished it yet." He: "I'd consider it a great pleasure to talk to a woman like Miss Gassaway." She: "What! Why, she'd talk you to death." He: "I said I'd oonsider it a pleasure to talk to her, not to listen to her." It's bad manners to interrupt a story-don't you think so?" said Borum. Um! I dunno," said Quickly, remembering Borum's stories. Depends upon the story. Sometimes it's an act of charity! My daughter," remarked Mrs. Nexdoor, has developed a perfect passion for music." "Yes," returned Mrs. Peppery. I'll warrant it isn't as strong as the passion your daughter arouses in my husband." First Actor: I thought your next tour was to have been through South Africa." Second Actor: It was, but the company struck. One of them had read that an ostrich egg often weighs two or three pounds."

MAIN STREET, FISHGUARD. JOSEPH REES Wishes to inform the inhabitants of Fishguard and district that he has opened as a GREENGROCER AND FKUITERER At the above address. Fiuit, &c., of thk- Im-st I I;.Iity aud at the lowest. nnci -1-. A tr;i <»rd'*r solit-ifed. [au3. Send your Print;n? ^rders to the U Guardian" offices. DAVil D DA VIES, High Street, Haverfordwest, Has just received his stock of Mackintoshes and Overcoats for the coming Season. Largest selection of — — — Men's and Boys' Clothing — — — in Pembrokeshire. Nicholson's Rainproof Coats Guaranteed to be absolutely rainproof. 52ju3'06 TEETH. TEETH. TEETH. MESSRS. E. ENGLAND, LTD., Can be consulted from 11 to 5 p.m., at MISS JOHN, Bookseller and Stationar, 3, Victoria Place, New Bridge, Haverfordwest Every alternate Tuesday and Saturday. Next Visit, Tuesday, Feb. 20, & Saturday, Feb. 10, and will also attend at CHARLES STREET, MILFORD HAVEN (Mr Meyler, Chemist), every other Tuesda7 Next Visit, Feb. 13. A Mr. MEYLER'S, CHEMIST, MAIN STREET, FISHGUARD, every other Thursdry, Next visit, Feb. 15. AT MRS: JAMBS', GWALIA HOUSE, CARDIGAN, every other Saturday. Next Visit, Feb. 17. Also at Miss OWEN'S, DEWI HOUSE, CROSS SQUARE, ST. DAVID'S, every other Thursday. Next Visit, E eb 22. o CONSULTATION FREE OF CHARGE. TEETH. 1. Perfection in eating and speaxing. 2. Parfectly natural and -life-like in appearance. Upper or Lower Set From JS2 10s. Single Tooth £ 0 5s. Teeth extracted painlessly with Nitrous Oxide Gas. TOM DAVIES9 Great Clearance Sale 21,675 worth of stock must be cleared before removing" to New Premises in High Street. A Rare Opportunity. Genuine Bargains. Terms—Strictly Cash during' Sale. Note address— THE COUNTY CLOTHIER, 11, Market Street, HAVERFORDWEST. ENc3-"Al"ll WS ON E VEnD%1 FOR YOUR SIMPLE C/UTOKQUEST I /H. SAMUEL WILL SEND YOU HIS BIG PDFF I IHMMNJ B00K 0F BARGAINS ABSOLUTELY P IFKE ■ jo recount all the advantage* this nnlqne aat H yilHii nimii psssS* ■7 reveals new eeneattons,—new opyortonltlee tern th* ■ eAYintf-efmoney. SttfRJ ■ THERE ARE BARGAINS IN WATCHES, RINGS, GEMS; LKVtft$ ■ BARGAINS IN PLATE, CUTLERY, "SILVERWARE, Be. M £ £ £ } ■ /—ALL AT SUCH AMAZINGLY LOW FACTORY PRICES CISSXSASM ■ JTHAT TO NEED IS TO BUY. H TUM la the privilege of a month's free trial of any artlola, A0 t* ■ and fall particulars are given of tiie OHARD VBll PKIZ1 C9|a ■ fbAK wnich eneurea an extra bonne gift free with eraiy ^M povoliaaa. MUBSB.nl ■ BY HESITATING TO MAKE YOURSELF THE POS- ■ASBS^ ■ } SESSQR OF H. SAMUEL'S FREE BOOK YOU ARE ■NRSE1 I ■ i FOREGOING THESE AND MANY OTHER PRIVI- ■ LEGES WHICH THE WRITING OF A POSTCARD ■ WILL PUCE YOU IN A POSITION TO ENJOY. I A rmcUMOOCH MUM. ~| YOU SHOULD THERr r ORE -so$