Symud i'r prif gynnwys
Cuddio Rhestr Erthyglau

5 erthygl ar y dudalen hon




[No title]


DID those two mince pies I gave you agree with you, Robert? The young missus made i'em! 11 "Oh, fust rate, Mary. My rubber heel-pads wos nearly worn down-an' I fancy your missus's pies 'U wear much better! Hotelkeeper: We have breakfast at six Yclock. Shall I call you?" Newcomer: "Well, yes, if you want to. But I tell you now, you'd better not do it loud enough to wake me." Milliner's Girl: Madame said I was not to return until I had collected the amount of your bill." Mile. Fifine (in tears): "My poor girl, how sorry I am for you. You have lost your place. You will never go back." Jinks: "To-day I pleased a pretty woman by telling her a certain red-faced, snub-nosed, bald- headed mortal looked like her." Winks: "Get out!" Jinks: "The red-faced, snub-nosed, bald- headed mortal was her first baby." And," said the Sunday-school teacher, "when Delilah cut Samson's hair he became mild as a lamb. Can you understand that?" Well, ma'am," replied Tommy, it does make yer ieel ashamed when a woman cuts yer hair." A queer-looking customer inserted his head into an auction-room, and, looking gravely at the knight of the hammer, inquired: "Can I bid, sir?" "Certainly," replied the auctioneer, "you can bid." "Well, then," said the wag, walkincr off. "I bid you Kcod-nisrkt." "Ah!" he sighed, after she had blushingly whispered Yes" in his bosom. My own Arabella! Oh! that name's so formal. Surely your friends use some shorter one; some pet name." "Well," she murmured,, "the girls at school used to call me Pickles. Mrs. Bondclipper: "Doctor, what do you think is the matter with me?" Doctor: "I am inclined to think that your blood is not pure. I'll have to give you something to purify your blood." Mrs. Bondclipper (haughtily): You are probably not aware that I belong to a good old Norman family." Cecil (sentimentally): Don't you feel gloomy when the sky is overcast with grey, when the rhythmic rain sounds a dirge upon the roof, and the landscape's beauties are hid by the weeping mist?" Hazel (sweetly): "Yes; it's dreadfully annoying. It does make one's hair come out of curl so. Two gentlemen travelling in a railway carriage between London and Brighton differed widely m their views respecting temperature. Immedi- ately after the train started, one of them pulled up one of the windows and said: "As I feel rather cold, I hope you don't object to the win- dow being closed?" The other, however, forth- with put it down again, saying, as he did so, "I can't sit in a stuffy compartment" Thus they went on till the tram reached Croydon, when the guard came to apologise for the broken pane in tho window which, had caused disagreement. The travellers had been quarrelling about a win. iow-frmo I