The Pembroke County Guardian and Cardigan Reporter

ILLUSTRATED HUMOUR The rest cure beoomes a habit with some people. Money talks, and some people make every penny count. Regret is something we feel for the mistakes of our friends. Nothing delights some people so much as to be asked favours; it gives them so much plea- sure to refuse. One of the most annoying things in the world is to be prepared for an emergency that doesn't keep its appointment. Patience: "Does she inherit those red cheeks, do you suppose?" Patrice: Yes; her father was a painter, I believe." You not only lose time telling people how to avoid mistakes, but you have to lose more time listening to their explanations. Jeffreys: "How does yonr brother take married life?" Esther: "According to direc- tions. His mother-in-law is living with him." Ida: "George is so poetical. He says my ears are JiIe rhclls." Iron: "Did he say whether he meant cocoanut or oyster shells?" Biffson: "My wife always insists on having the last word!" Bangs: Well, you're lucky! Mine always insists on having the last penny!" Mrs. Joggins: "They' make car wheels out of paper. The idea-paper car wheels." Joggins: That's nothing. They have stationary en- gines, too."

ELDER SISTER: "Why won't you kiss kind Mr. Green, you naughty little girl?" Green, you naughty little girl?" Little Girl: "'Cause he's sitting on my jam tart!

Maisic: "Why did she refuse him? I thought she said he was a -man of sterling qualities." I Daisy: "Yes, she did; but she found a man with sterling gold." "You shouldn't treat your boy so harshly; you'll break his spirit." Well, he'll probably got married some time, and he might aa well have it broken now!" Caller: "What's your name, little girl? Little Girl: "Dorothy." Caller: "But what's your last name?" Little Girl: "I don't know what it will be. I'm not married yet." Poor fellow, I pity him! The engagement is at an end." "Gracious! Do you mean to say the girl has gone back on him?" "Worse than that! She has been married to him." Did you give your wife that lecture on economy you said you were going to?" "Yes, you bot I did!" "Have any effect?" "Ye-s; I'm going to make my last year's suit do for this year. She: "It is said that women are neater and cleaner than men." He: "And yet you'll go right out on the street with In long train to your dress and make a sweeping denial of there state- ment." Do you think that the motor-oar will dis- place the horse?" asked the conversational young woman. It will," answered the nervous young man, as ho gazed down the road, t' if it ever hits him."

LADY: "But, really, as you've only been in service ten months, I don't think you have had sufficient experience." „ Applicant; "But I've been in ten situations!"

Little Harold's mother looked very severe as she said: "I shall have to tell your father what a naughty boy you've been to-day." "Oh, mothe," said Harold, "can't you keep a sccret better than thaU" Papa says he likes to hear me play your accompaniments. He usually sits in the next room, you know." "Then he admires music? In a way. He says I always play so loud that it drowns your voice." "Call that kindness?" said a man in righteous indignation, speaking of an absent acquaintance; a man who is away from his family and never sends them a farthing?" "Yes," was the ready reply; "unremitting kindness." Mary: "I was pouring myself out a glass of wine in the dining-room when the butler pounces on me and says: 'Hallo! I'll have none o' that. Jane: "And what did you say?" Mary: "I said I hadn't intended to offer im any of it." Here," said Benny's papa, shewing the little fellow a coin, "is a penny 500 years old. It was given to me when I was a little boy. Oh, my!" ejaculated Benny; "just think of anyone being able to keep a penny as long as that with. out spending it Has Cranker decided to try that new food diet for the sake of his health? No. He savs he is going to compromise and eat raw food." "You don't say ? "Yes. ile is 00 going to marry a college girl and let her do tb cooking."

uoily Swift" Mamma is almost sure sne hcard "von kissing me last night." Young Jo"- I aloiitr: But J have never given her any cause to think so." Dollv Swift: "Well, don't you mime ic is aoout tniic you tucir "Are you troubled with toothache?" said Johnson to Smithson, who had a bandage round his face. "Great Caasar! cried Smithson, "did you ever know anyone to have toothache without bein.r troubled with it?" Greon: "I thought you said that fellow ° Skinem was as good as his word?" Brown: i .— I Green: "Well. ho lied in about a business transaction." Brown; i v-idn't say his word was any good." "Yea seem happy, old man?" "I am. I've got a bicvcio c: my own now." Why, I thought rOil put yv-~ :1Í." IIWI-V several years ago, and stopped ua-o-z -So 1 did, but on Now Day T. paid the instalment on it-"

DAVID DAVIES, High Street, Haverfordwest, Has just received his stock of Mackintoshes and Overcoats for the coming Season. Largest selection of — b Men's and Boys' Clothing — — — in Pembrokeshire. Nicholson's Rainproof Coats Guaranteed to be absolutely rainproof. 52ju3'08 TEETH. TEETH. TEETH. MESSRS. E ENGLAND, LTD., Can be consulted from 11 to 5 p.m., at MISS JOHN, Bookseller and Stationar, 3, Victoria Place, New Bridge, Haverfordwest Every alternate Tuesday and Saturday. Next Visit, Tuesday, Mar. 6, & Saturday, Mar. 10, and will also attend at CHABLES STREET, MILFOBD HAVEN (Mr Meyler, Chemist), every other Tuesday. Next Visit, Mar. 13. AT Mr. MEYLER's, CHEMIST, MAIN STREET, FISHGUARD, every other Thursdry, Next visit, Mar. 15. AT MRS. JAMES', GWALIA HOUSE, CARDIGN, every other Saturday. Next Visit, Mar. 3. Also at Mss OWEN'S, DEWI HOUSE, CROSS SQUARE, ST. DAVID'S, every other Thursday. Next Visit, Mar. 8. o T CONSULTATION FREE OF CHARGE. TEETH. 1. Perfection in eating and speaking. 2. Perfectly natural and life-like to appearance. Upper or Lower Set From £ 2 10s. Single Tooth 90 59. Teeth extracted painlessly with Nitrous Oxide Gas. 1TOM DAVIES' Great Clearance Sale P,1,675 worth of stock must be cleared before removing to New Premises in High Street. A Rare Opportunity. Genuine Bargains. Terms—Strictly Cash during Sale. Note ad dress- THE COUNTY CLOTHIER, 11, Market Street, HA VERFORDWEST. — rOR YOUR SIli"PLE POSTCARD REQUEST H W /«. SAMUEL WILL SEND YCU HIS BIG ETDETP B P" J BOCK 0? BARGAINS ABSOLUTELY T HEX ■ recount all tlio advantages this unique afcd EjjH :.As. V interesting C&talogaa ccnlVsrs on buyers would i— bs to ra-writa tha ook, for uvory turn of a leaf H.SAMUELS rovcals jviw sensations,—now opportunities for the t I AOM t 0 t }»P saving ci" Money. SILVER *>' §1 THERE AK2 BARGAINS IN WATCHES, RINGS, GEMS; LEVER 1 Is the beat H BARGAINS m PLATE, CUTLERY, SILVERWARE, &e. watch that m —ALL AT S.:C5! AMAZ1R3LY LOW FACTORY PRICES I THAT TO !S TO B'JY. H»i There la the privilege of a month's free trial of any &rtlol«, OC I and full carticulara ara givsn of ihe CSS ND FRBB PRIZE 9f f§S PLAN which ensures an extra bonus gift free with every ■ — Jgg »n.rV,«QA IDLWIlLfUl Us purchase. JWKlHRT rRU (B BY HESITATING TO MAKE YOURSELF THE P0S- II SESS0R 0V K. SAMUEL'S FRfcE BOOK YOU ARE ■fvl yBL' flf FOREGOING THESE AND KANY OTHER PRIVI* Ml:! WfWk1 HX LEQES WHS3H THE WRITING OF A POSTCARD ™ p! WILL PLACE YOU IN A POSITION TO ENJOY. » [ a TYPICAL SAOOCM BARGAIN. {YOU SHOULD THEREFORE /«.\ ) WRITE TO DAY. A Pl U E L m Irk,"Street,- fi- r' if, é MANCHESTER. f,'a b3. get T'eirl ¡ ?!< !!hi)))!m!!m