Papurau Newydd Cymru
Chwiliwch 15 miliwn o erthyglau papurau newydd Cymru
7 erthygl ar y dudalen hon
SUNDAY HOORS.
SUNDAY HOORS. A common mind peroeiveth not beyond his eyes uel ears. MARTIN F. Tupper. The present Dean of Westminster urged that the hundreds of men engaged recently in repair work at the Abbey should smoke during the brief religious discourses which he organised for their benefit during the time of their midday rest, when they had finished eating. The men seemed to like his little sermons in the cloisters all the more for being permitted to smoke while they were in pro- gress. CAPTAIN AS CLERGYMAN. The lonely Pitcairn Island does not possess a clergyman among its small population. A British ship recently put in there for water, and found a curious situation. A young widower and a girl of eighteen were desirous of getting married, but as there was no clergyman on the island, and the probability of one visiting it was very remote, they asked the captain to perform the marriage ceremony. The latter was somewhat dubious as to the legality of such a union, but as there aeemed no other way out of the difficulty, he was prevailed upon in the end to undertake the duty. WHAT THE BIBLE IS. Some writer gives the following analysis of the Book of Books," the Bible: It is a book of laws, to show the right from the wrong. It is a book of wisdom, that makes the foolish wise. It is a book of truth, which detects all human errors. It is a book of life, and shows how to avoid everlasting death. It is the most authentic and entertaining history ever published. It contains the most remote antiquities, the most remarkable events and wonderful occur- rences. It is a complete code of laws; It is a perfect body of divinity. It is an unequalled narrative. It is a book of biography. It is a book of travels. It is the best covenant ever made, the best deed ever written. It is the best will ever executed, the best testa- ment ever signed. It is the learned man's masterpiece. It is the young man's best companion. It is the schoolboy's best instructor. It is the ignorant man's dictionary and every man's directory. It promises an eternal reward to the faithful and believing. But that which crowns all is the Author. HENCE THE POOR SERMON! I A clergyman who had accepted an invitation to officiate at Sunday services in a neighbouring town -entrusted his new curate with the performance of his own duties. On returning home he asked his wife what she thought of the curate's sermon. It was the poorest one I ever heard," she replied promptly; Nothing in it at all." Later in the day the clergyman, meeting his curate, asked him how he had got on. Oh, very well," was the reply. I didn't have time to prepare anything, so I preached one of your unused sermons." —1 I CUL-DE-SAC. The narrow houses dark and high Shut out the sun, shut out the sky Where neighbouring windows stand at gaze, While blackened branches intervene With wintry fingers bare and lean, Tbough leafy still in summer days. Now Winter tells what sttmmef knew; I Here, even here, the skies were blue, And green leaves thrilled to vernal Bong (Now Summer's secret stands confessed)- Some wandering minstrel built a nest And made sweet music all day long. -ROSAMUND MARRIOTT WATSON. For whoever thinks that he alone has wisdom or power of speech or judgment such as no other has, such men, when they are known, are found to be empty-brained. But it is no disgrace for even the wise to learn and not obstinately to resist convic- tion. Thou seest how the trees that bend by the wintry torrents preserve their boughs, whilst those that resist the blast fall uprooted. And so, too, the pilot who swells his sails without relaxing upsets his bark and floats with benches turned upside down. SOPHOCLES. THE SANCTUARY. I We love the venerable house Oar fathers built to God :— In heaven are kept their grateful vows, Their dust endears the sod. Here holy thought a light have shed From many a radiant face, And prayers of tender hope have spread A perfume through the place. And anxious hearts have pondered here The mystery of life, And prayed the eternal Light to clear Their doubts, and aid their strife. From humble tenements around Came up the pensive train, And in the Church a blessing found, That filled their homes again For faith, and peace, and mighty love, That from the Godhead flow, Showed them the life of Heaven above Springs from the life below. They live with God, their homes are dust; Yet here their children pray, And in this fleeting life-time trust To find the narrow way. On him who by the altar stands, On him Thy blessing fall! Speak through his lips Thy pure commands. Thou Heart, that lovest all. R. W. EMERSON. It is on the whitest cloth that the spot is most noticeable. Against mere sand even the hammer's force is of no avail. Sincerity is the salt of character. There are no self-made martyrs. Sanctity is no substitute for sense. The cure for doubts and fears is to read God's Word and believe it. He need never despair who faces difficulty under Divine direction. A man's knowledge of doctrine counts for nothing if he neglects duty. A neglected but highly profitable study-the virtues of those we dislike. Hate not the useless; they are, perhaps, for thee to be useful to. Earthly riches are best got by judicious saving; heavenly, by judicious spending. It needs a little care to know to whom to give; it needs much care to know from whom to receive. All need strength to undertake work when rested; many need it also to abstain from work when tired. RECESSIONAL HYMN. For the faith which brightens Darkness of despair; For the hope which lightens Burdens hard to bear For thelove which fades not, Nor can fade away; For the light which pales not Till the perfect day- Father, we adore Thee, And, with one accord, Praise Thy Name before Thee In Thy Temple, Lord! -ELLEN Thorneycroft FOWLER.
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Charlie Halloa, old man, what's the matter with your hand?" Henry*. "It wM an acci. dent; all Miss Brown's fault." Charlie: "In- deed How was she responsible for it?" Henry: Oh, well, you know, she has got an unfortunate habit of sticking pins into her waist-belt."
I HOME HINTS. I
I HOME HINTS. I When restless at night and sleepless, a hot salt bath just before retiring will be most soothing and! conducive to sound slumber. Ammonia is excellent for cleaning hair- brushes. Use about two tablespoonfuls of ammonia, and enough wtuter to cover tie bristles, but not the back. Shake it thoroughly white it is in the wator to loosen the dirt. Dry it well before using. To glaze scones brush over with one teaspoon- ful of sugar dissolved in two of milk. This is cheaper than using a beaten yolk of egg, and quite as effective. Preserve all chicken and game bones, for they form a val-uable, addition to the stockpot when soap is in preparation. Bitter apple can be procured at any good drug stores, and) ie excellent for storing with woollen goods. Very fine oldl lace can be beautifully cleaned by being sewn in a clean piece of linen and laid ail night in saladl oil. Next day boil it in a large pan of soapy waiter for a quarter of an hour, and rinse in several waters. Dip into sugaredl water and pin on to a strained cloth to dry. Washing red flannels is quite easy if you have a good lather of soap to which ie added a tea- spoonful of powdered borax. Rub only with the shancfe and rinse in warm water. Press very dry between a cloth and shake well before haitging in a shady place to dry. Take Care of your Cocoanut Matting, and it wiN be found one of the beet floor coverings which can possibly be provided, but if it is once allowed to become dirty its good appearance is for ever lost. When grease is spilt, clean it off as soon as possible with hot water and yellow roap, using a scrubbing brush. It is useless to scrub the stained part only, but attack the whole surface. After the matting is scrubbed evenly all over, fold it loosely, put it into a large tub and pour over it plenty of cold water, then hang up to dry in the air and sunshine. Hot milk, heated to as high a temperature as it can be drunk, is a. most refreshing stimulant in cases of cold or over-fatigue. Its action is very quick and grateful. The effect of hot milk is far more beneficial and lasting than that of alcohol. It gives real strength as well as acting as a fillip. 0 Always save twine and) brown paper, and then they will be at hand when required. In a well- regulated house there should always be a drawer, where brown and other thick paper is to be found. Roll up pieces of string separately, so that the necessary thicknesses can be picked out at a glance. Rugs which curl up at the edges or at the sides should be lined throughout. Cut out a piece of rpugh sailcloth an inch larger than the rug; turn in the edges all round and stitch them down fiait with stout linen thread, making fair-sized' stitches on the under surface, and those on the right side as small as possible. Here is a test for butter so simple that any housewife can put it into successful practice. A clean piece of white paper is smeared with a little of the suspected butter. The paper is then rolled up and set on fire. If the butter is pure, the smell of the burnt paper is rather pleasant, but the odour is distinctly tallowy if the butter is wholly or in part made up of animal fats, Nervous breakdown is oftener due to over- working the digestive organs than to mental strain as such. Abstemious (habits in eating, combined with some attention to exercise, make it possible for one to do an immense amount of hard brain work without injury; but to attempt anything out of the ordinary in the way of work while subsisting on the ordinary stimulating diet, is to invite disaster. Beef olives make a good dish for using up the remains of underdone roast beef. Take some slices of the beef, about half an inch thick, and two inches wide, lay each piece fiat, and on it put a small portion of veal forcement, roll up the beef and tie it round' with cotton. Stand the rolls of meat upright in a stewpan, and pour good brown gravy so as to just cover them. Place the cover on the pan, and stew the contents for one hour and a half. To serve. arrange the rolls on a hot dish, cut away the threads, thicken and flavour the gravy, and pour round1. Milk gravy can be made from fat from sau- sages. Use milk instead of water. Concrete for a yard may be made thus: Take five parts of gravel and sand to one part of freshly burnt stone lime, ground to powder with- out slacking, and measured dry. Turn and mix well 'together with sufficient water to slack fee lime into thick mortar. You may add stone in small pieces with advantage. Chains and eiofas upholstered wi'th leather will lasit much longer and retain a very much better appearance if the leather iis regullarly revived with the following mixture, for it cleans the JeaMier, and at the same time softens it and pre- vents its cracking. Take one part of best vine- gar, and two parts of boiled linseed oil, and shake well together. Apply a little on a soft rag, and afterwards polish with a silk duster or an old chamois leather. A good mouth wash euoh as you require is made at home for a trifling cost as follows: Dissolve two ounces of borax in three pints of boiling water, before quite cold add a teaspoon- ful Of 'tincture a myrrh and a tahleepoonful of good eau de Cologne or cpi-rits of camphor. Halif fill a tumbler with this solution and add sufficient water to fill it up. Use this wash daily after each meal and you will find your (teeth are preserved and whitened. SPECIAL RECIPES. American Method' of Taking Out Iron-Rust.— Dip the spots into a strong solution of tartaric acid and expose to the sun. When dry wet the articles with warm soapsuds, rub the stains with ripe tomato juice; expose to the sun again, and when the stain is nearly dry wash in more audls. To Clean Enamelled Baths.—Make a paste of powdered' whiting and water, and with this rub the insidle of the bath. Then wash thoroughly with clean water and dry at once. To Cure E-arae-h-e.-Thi,s re,cipe, comes from South Africa. Take a lemon and cut it in half, take out the seeds, place the half against the ear, and cover it thoroughly with hot flannels when going to bed. Repeat for two or three nights. To Take out Iron-mould from Linen.—Procure from your chemist a pennyworth of salts of Lemon, and use it carefully as directed. Rinse in cold water at once, and then wash in the usual way. This is an effective and easy process for removing unsightly marks on linen. Hint about Eggs.—Boiled eggs which adhere to the shell are fresh. A good egg will sink in water. Stale eggs are glassy and smooth of shell. The shell of a fresh egg has a lime- like surface, A boiled egg which is done, and dries quickly on the shell when taken from the pan -is fresh. If packed in bran a long time, eggs acquire a musty smell.
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Mother: "I can't see why you should object to Mr. Goodsense." Daughter: "I never could marry such a. man as that. He wears the cheapest kind of ready-made clothes." Mother: "That is mere idiosyncrasy." "Ye-e-s; but I'm > afraid he'll want me to dress the same way."
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Tragedies and Disasters. Worried by business troubles, Henrich C. Lebr, 53, a Cainden-road baker, hanged himself from a ctotjhe>s-hook. Suicide, whilst tem- porarily insane," said the jury on Monday. Samuel Collinson lost his life on Monday at Dudley from injuries sustained) through la, fail caused! by wearing a. large number of glazed nails in the heels of hiis, boots. A few weeks ago Mrs. Vickers died at Preston through t|urns accidentally received. Her child, aged two, who was also burnt., died: on Monday. During the polling in the Brigbtside division of Sheffield on Monday a, young man suddenly expired whilst turning into the voting com- partment. It is reported from Toulouse that a driver and fireman have been killed and many passengers injured in a railway accident. It defiance of the station master's warning, s man named McMullen crossed the line at Jordanetown, near Belfast, on Saturday, a.nd was killed by an express train travelling ait sixty miles an hour. Florence Mary Traverse, aged three, and Edith Woodyer, aged 13, were burnt to death in the St. Helens district, the former whilst lighting a lamp ait the fire, and the latter whilst lifting a kettle off the hob. Verdicts of Accidental death" were returned on Saturday. Harold Lucas, eighteen, an apprentice fitter, of Rainhill, was killed by & goods train whilst taking a short cut on the railway line. A verdict of "Accidental death" wa,s returned on ( Saturday at the St. Helens inquest. Mr. Newton Roberts, of Bell Inn Hotel, Anslow, near Leicester, was picking up his gun on Saturday, when the trigger caught in some twige and discharged a shot which killed him. Wililiam Geoirge Lempriere, fifty-three, a Jersey farm labourer, fell from a hay-loft to the ground beneath, and died: from a fractured skull on Saturday. Ann O'Neill, 72, was burnt to death at Newry on Saturday, whilst she was in bed with one of her grandchildren. Her son arrived home to find that a candle had ignited the bed, and was just in time to rescue the child. A double drowning fatality occurred at Bath on Sunday night. A little boy named Fry, while playing near the bank of the River Avon, which is in flood, fell in and was swept away. A man namled, Gibbons, who tried to rescue him, was also drowned1- At the inquest at Stepney on Saturday on Johanna Squires, it was stated that death was caused by epilepsy, which was brought on by fright at the thunderstorm of Tuesday last. On arrival at Tenby the captain of the Glas- gow steamer Dunmore reported that William Mills, one of the crew, had been washed! over- boaird and drowned. Accidents. Thrown from his horse while hunting on Saturday, Lieutenant-Colonel G. J. Maunsell died) on Mondjay at Babbacombe, Torquay, as a result of the shock. The Hamburg-Ameircan steamer Serbia, (3,705 tone) htae gone ashore at Niewediep. All the crew have been saved, except the first officer, who refmaee to leave the vessel. A fire which occurred at the Windsor Hotel, Montreal, on Saturday morning, d'id damage estimated at 950,000, Three hundred guests escaped uninjured. Denton Manor.- f^ajr Grantham, the seat of Sir Charles Welby, Bart., was partially dernelVhed by fire on Sunday, the damage amor ting to several thousand pounds. Cases Told in the Courts. William James Cullingham, thirty, cyck dealer, was committed) for trial at Marylebone charged1 with attempting to murder Lamea. Thomas, seventeen, at the house of her paren ts in Robert-street, Hampstead-road. It is alleged prisoner attacked) the girl with a razor in her bedroom. William and! George Armstrong and John Hind; three yoking men of Killingworth, were remanded on Monday on a charge in connec- tion with the maskedl burglary near Newcastle, on Friday. A youth charged at Worship-street with the theft of cloth suggested that the constable was the real offender. He was remanded for the doctor to inquire into the state of his mind. "Has she been here before?" asked the Marylcbone magistrate of a< woman charged before him. The Assistant Gaoler Not since Saturday, sir! ClerkenwelTs new police-court—in King's- cross-ro,a,d-w,a,s used) for the first time on Monday. The list of prisoners was singularly lighft. In a money lending case, heard in the King's Bench Division, Mr. Justice Jelf held' that as there was an absence of security for the loan, a charge of £ 100 for the accommodation of £ 150 wae not a "harsh, and unconscionablo bargain," and gave judgment for the full amount sued for. Mrs. Alice Labdon, an actress, was granted a decree nisi in the Divorce Court on evidence that her husband, Mr. Ernest George Labdon, an actor, had eloped with an actress profes- sionally known as "Grace Caste Ha." Frederick Butcher, a farmer, of Haaeley, near Warwick, was on Saturday fined £ 5 and) costs for what the chairman of the Bench described) ias one of the worst cases of cruelty that had come before them. A horse, which was unaMe to rise, was left lying in a field for five days. Military and Naval. The battalions of Foot-guards now in London received the new short rifle on Monday. Albert Palmer, the five-year-old son of a first-class petty officer in the navy, living in Winstanley-road, Sheerness, has disappeared, and although the district has been scoured no trace of him can be found. The First Lord of the Admiralty has appoint.3d Lord O'Hagan to be an Assistant Private Secretary (unpaid). "In future, ankle-boots, kept in mobilisation stores for Reservists, are to be supplied of the particular size and magnitude required for each man and! the officers concerned1 are instructed to carefully examine the boots now in store, and to take steps to exchange any not of right size." -New Army Order. Captain F. G. Jackson, the Arctic explorer, well known in connection with the Jackson- Harm'sworibh and Nansen expeditions, has received fal company command in the 4th Battalion East Surrey Regiment. Orders have been issued by the Army Council to stay proceedings in connection with the dis- bandtaent of the cadet corps attached to the Woolwich companies of the Royal Army Medical Corps Volunteers. Mr. Mark Hatcher has died at Otters-haw, near Chertsey. He served in the 3rd Battalion Rifle Brigade, and went through the Indian Mutiny compa.ign, receiving the medal and clasp for Lucknow and, the North-Western Frontier medal. National and Political. Three deaths have been indirectly caused by the politioal campaign, two of them being due to disorderly meetings. At a launch at Birkenhead Mr. J. M. Laird, head of the famous shipbuilding company, startled' his Protectionist guests by making a declaration, for Free Trade. Music and Drama. A new musical play, The Little Cherub," was produced at the Prince of Wales's Theatre. It deals with the adventures of a "sanctimonious peer." Two thousand boys and girls from schools in South London visited the Elephant and Castle Theatre on Saturday afternoon, as guests of the Playgoers' Club, and witnessed a Lperformance of the pantomime, Robinson Cruso-A." Social. The Admiralty have granted permission to the Motor Yacht Giab to fly the 'blue ensign of His Maje'sty's fleet on <a.M registered vessels belonging to members of the club. Among the latest contributions received at the Baaik of England) for King Edward's Hos- pital Fund for London is the annual sub- scription of the Worshipful Company of Cloth- workers for £ 1,000. The Nelson. Corporation has accepted Mr. Carnegie's offer of 97,0-00 towards the cost of a public free library. It has also been decided to erect a new technical school and a new ele- mentary day school. Mr. W. Hills, superintendent of the running department of the Great Northern Railway, was presented on Saturday with a diamond pin from the King in recognition of his services when his Majesty was travelling on that line. Commercial and Industrial. The Marquis of Graham, heir to the Dukedom of Montrose, has accepted a directorship in the firm of William Beardmom and Company, ship- builders, of Glasgow. The fourth sitting of the Royal Commiesion on the Poor Law took place at the Foreign Office on Monday, Lord' George Hamilton pre- siding The Local Government Board has issued a new set of regulations to prevent unemployed workers who may have had to seek poor-law relief from being shut out of the benefits of the Unemployed Workmen's Act. The Deutsche Bank has just acquired a, con- trolling interest in the railway between Mersina and Adana, a distance of thirty-six miles. The first of two new fast twin-screw steamers for the Belfast to Liverpool express passenger service was launched on Saturday from Messrs. Harland and Wolff's yard at Belfast. The new vessel, which was christened the Heroic, has 2,000 tons register. The death occurred on Saturday of Mr. Frederick Jackson, one of the four district superintendents of the G.E.R., who for the last eight years has had charge of the Ipswich district, the largest in area on the system. An Italian State Railw,ay contract for 300,000 tons of coal at 21s. has been placed with a Car- diff firm. The World of Sport. Harvard* University has prohibited inter. collegiate football until the game has been reformed, thus following, the example of Columbia University. From July to the end of last year the Devon and Somerset Staghounde killed eighty-seven deer. Harry Vardon, the famous golfer, has made arrangements to spend two or tJhree months at Le Touquet, near Boulogne, for the benefit of his health, and, he, left London on Tuesday. So great is the demand for caddies in the neighbourhood of St. Anne's-on-Sea, Lanca- shire, that shopkeepers of that town experience much difficulty in securing the services of errand boys. In many instances, therefore, such vacancies are filled by girls, who are, also re- quisitioned by the poet-office officials as tele- graph messengers. Sir Thomas Lipton suggests to the Brooklyn Yacht Club, who are offering a RIGO cup for competition by small yachts, that the race shall be sailed from Gravesend Bay (New York) to Bermuda on May 26. Mr. Gibson, a well-known football plapar, fell dead from over excitement in the grand stand at the Richmond Athletic ground on Saturday, during the Rugby international match between England and Wales. From Other Lands. In the Swedish budget appears an item. of £ 55,555 to cover the expenses connected with the dissolution of the union with Norway. Ex-President Grover Cleveland is reported to be seriously ill. American exports to France in 1905 totalled £ 14,000,000, and imports £ 18,000,000. All the cages in the Zoological Gardens cf Bordeaux were opened by some mischievous person on Saturday night, and the animals let loose. The keepers lassoed some of the larger animals. Some valuable birds got away. A woman in Santa Cruz has obtained a di- vorce on the ground that her husband persisted in smoking strong tobacco and puffing the fumes in her face. M. A. Marie, of Paris, has, (according to the "Matin," discovered a serum against hydro- phobia. which makes doge immune from the disease for a year after inoculation. The "Pittsburg Leader," ian afternoon paper, was sold on Saturday for £ 250,000. The sale was due to the dlesire of one of the purchasers, a prominent politician, to suppress the cartoons that had been appearing in the paper attacking him as a "'boss." It has been decided! that the four native orderlies to the King to be sent from Indira this year shall be Mahometans. Storming a village in Dahomey, held by a band of Mussulman, fanatics', who had murdered two soldiers, a. French force has lost a French lieutenant and two native soldiers killed and seven wounded. It is stated) at Caracas, that President Castro is "simply astonished" that France has broken off diplomatic relations with Venezuela. A well-known Anarchist, bearing four different passports, has been arrested at Con- stantinople, whither he had gone, it is said, to assassinate the Sultan. Other Interesting Items. The South Devon Herd Book Society has passed a resolution disapproving the dishorning of cattle. More than sixty sheep have been killed by dogs during the last day or two in East .Lothian. The Tower Bridge Hotel has the distinction of being the only hotel to possess a rifle range and a club, which has just been formed. Earl Roberts has promised to open the range. Large quantities of broccoli are now being despatched from Cornwall to the midland and other markets. The Kildonan Castle has arrived at South- ampton with one of the largest cargoes of birds, beasts, and reptiles ever brought to tbiis country. After racing through Noittiinghiam sttreets. scat- tering frighteneid pedestrians in all directions a bull plunged into the River Trent, and, m spite of the stream being in high flood, swam to the opposite bank, where it was captured. To escape the. rigouts of the English winter, tihe African pigmies wiho are in this country are to eifcay for a time alt Torquay. Ladv Bridge, wife of Sir Frederick Bridge, organist of Weistminster Abbey, died1 on Satur- diay cut their residence in the Abbey Cloisters. Mr. Herbert Gladstone hae written to a mem- ber of the Jewish Territorial Association wish- ing success to Mr. Zangwiill'e proposal for the establishment of a Jetwiisih settlement under Briiltiiis/h protection.. "Wtiil aaiy wealthy motorist (medium size) give his cast-off leather smilt to a London motor- omnibus driver?" appeals an advertisser in the "Morniing Post." By the King's order the body of the cbauii-clir who was killed by a,faill from a royal mottor-car at Markyiaite hias been taken for interment to his home in Norfolk. A groundless cry of "Fire!" led to a panic a.t the Hastings Hippodrome on Saturday. A children's entertainment was in progreSJsalt the time, and the capacious, ball was crowded to its utmost eapaeiilty. No Dives were lost. Bishop Potter, who is now in Egypt, lii?s written to the "New York Ti,mes," offerilng zq,1,50 for the restoration of a stone escutcheon which, he understands, has been removed by some American relic hunlteTISJ from over the enitrairiee door of the fianmlioaiise in Northampton, which was the home of Washington's ancestors.
'——? I ILLUSTRATED FUN.,
—— ? I ILLUSTRATED FUN. Mr. Novice (to Mr. Sponger): My wife has been obliged to give up playing the piano." Mr. S. Indeed Whatever is that for? Mr. N.: Every time she began to play I insisted upon singing." Customer: Look here, this bicycle I bought only three weeks ago has all gone to pieces." Dealer Yea, sir. You remember I warranted it to go fast." Estelle: "Clarence, just think of it! Five weeks from to-day, and we will be married." Clarence: Well, let's he happy while we may." t SOON SETTLED THE QUESTION. Clerk: I should like to ask, sir, if my pay would be deducted if I took a day off to get married?" marriEd 1" Employer: "Of course. Five shillings would be deducted." Clerk: Very well, that settles it. I'll re- I main single." "What do you think of Bings?" Poor fellow has a pretty tough time of it." How do you know ?'' His mother-in-law is my mother-in-law you see, we married sisters." Peckem "I say, old man, why in the world do you wear such a disreputable-looking hat?" Enpeck: "Becauoo my wife has -emphatically declared that she will not be seen on the street with me unless I get a new one. See ?" Your bump of destruction is unusually large," said the professor of phrenology. "Are you a prize-fighter?" No," replied the victim in the chair. I'm a furniture mover." I A PATHETIC REQUEST. 1 Urchin: If yer please, mum, will yer go down, in yer cellar an' look for my little brother? He's fallen down the coal'oLe." I A well-known artist was engaged upon the portrait of a lady severely plain in feature, but whose vanity in that respect was well known. A visitor to the studio remarked: You haven't caught Mrs. B-'s expression at all!" No," replied the painter; but I flatter myself I've caught her notion of her expression." Kind Gentleman "Are you hurt, little, boy?" Boy (crying): Naw!" "Lost a penny?" Naw Didn't have any." Had a whipping?" "Naw!" Then what are you crying for?" "Want,ed ter see who'd be th' first donkey ter ask that question." I MISAPPREHENDED HIM. Theatre Manager: I can't use your play, air. It's too long for the stage." Amateur Playwright: But, I say—aw—look here—aw Can't you lengthen the stage, you know ? Miranda: "Women may gossip sometimes, but they have better control over their tongues than men have." Pottle: You are right. Men have no control whatever over women's tongues." How are you coming on with your new system of weather prediction?" Well," answered the prophet, cheerily, I can always get the kind of weather all right, but I haven't quite succeeded in hitting the dates exactly." Husband: What did you do with all those unpaid bills, Cecilia?" Wife:" I raw they were beginning to worry you, dear, so I de- stroyed them." I MISTRESS AND MAID. I Mary (new parlourmaid): u If you pleae<», ma'am, here's a letter." Mistress: "Are you not accustomed to sea letters handed on a tray ?" Mary: Yes, ma'am; but I didn't know if I Mary:" Yes, ma'am; but I didn't know if you were."
"",,i EPITOME OF NEWS. '
i EPITOME OF NEWS. The Japanese Ambassador in London is leaving for Japan at the end of March on leave of absence. Damage amounting to over £ 1,000 resulted from a fire which broke out early the other- morning at Mr. Bowdler's drapery establish- ment at Market Drayton. Edward Riley, 23, was at the Thames Court- committed to the North London Sessions ior trial for stealing 561b. of lead from the church- yard of All Saints', Poplar. Harold Lucas, 18, apprentice fitter, of Rain- hill, near St. Helens, died from injuries re- ceived by being knocked down by a train ate Lea-green, on the London and North-Western line. The Dowager Lady Barrow, who on Friday last entered her ninety-seventh year, has died at her residence, Ulverston "Cottage, East. Moleeey. Deceased founded Molesey and Hamp- ton Court Cottage Hospital. Chasing two suspects along the towing-path of the Regent's Canal, two detectives were tripped by carefully-fixed barbed wire. The fact was mentioned to the Marylebone magistrate, who said, "MoISt abominable and blackguardly conduct." Skipper Freer, of the trawler Clyde, was pre- sented with E5 and a barometer at Grimsbyp, and other members of the crew received mone- tary rewards for rescuing the crew of the Rus- sian vessel Anna Mathilda in the North Sea. At a Shoeburyness court-martial on Gunner- Monger, of the Royal Garrison Artillery, the> prisoner pleaded guilty, .stating that he escaped' in order that his wife, who was seriously ill, should not know that he was under imprison- ment. Mr. Annesley Gore, of Donnybrook, waa; charged at Dublin with breaking a. plate-glass, window in a city establishment. Magistrate: Why did you act in this way? Defendant: I was having a "rag." Magistrate: Tfell, "rag" will cost you £ 5. That's quite right. I've had a lot of trouble, and haven't tried to get away," said Henry Higginson, 60, a cabdriver, when charged with stealing E20, the moneys of the Charing-cross station cabmen's slate club, of which he was the treasurer. Remanded. Summoned at Highgate for selling milk adul- terated, James Henry Bott, of North Finchley, pleaded Not guilty," saying that a young woman in his service had poured the milk into a vessel containing water. The magistrates, It is the same thing. Pay 40s. and costs. There are places where I could go and lose, a good deal more in bridge in an hour than these men lose in a whole evening," was the defence made on behalf of the landlord of the Sir Walter Scott, who was fined C5 at Preston. for allowing gaming. A Nottingham coroner's jury returned a ver- dict of Manslaughter" against Clara Elizabeth Abbey and John Abbey, her father, it being alleged that they caused the death of a child by- starvation. The woman said that it generally- had two pennyworth of milk per week. Reginald Wymer, formerly a captain in the Argyll and Sutherland Militia, and the son, of an ex-Deputy Chief Constable of Hertfordshire, was at Daventry sentenced to three months hard labour for obtaining £17 from the Rector of By field, Northants, by false pretences. There are builders and builders," said? Judge Edge at Clerkenwell County-court, in- terrupting a plaintiff, who urged that because1 defendant was a builder he was able to pay at- once. There are many builders in these days who would not be worth the expense of bringing to court. While sweeping a chimney at Portman-square, the residence of Lord Alington, James Croake slipped off a parapet and fell a distance of ten feet. He was taken to hospital, where he died from asphyxia, following injury to his spinal cord. A ecroner's jury found that death erase, accidentally. The Quom hounds raced into LoughborougB town in full cry after a fox. Tradesmen and others joined in the hunt, and eventually the fox was killed by the pack opposite the Carnegie library. One hour a day has been set aside for prayer at the factory of the American Steel and Wire Company, at Waukegan, Illinois. This is due to the employment of a number of Dowieites from Zion City. At a "meeting of the creditors" of John SL Croydiale, held at Nottingham, the debtor attributed his failure to damages obtained! against him for breach of promise. His former. sweetheart is his only creditor. While fighting a small fire in the flooring of St. Paul's Church, Montreal, the firemen were compelled to break two of the church windows,, which contain the finest stained glass in Canada,,), to save themselves from asphyxiation. While courting a girl at Lexington, Ken- tucky, a man named Lucky, accidentally trod ora her toe, and injured it so much that amputa-* tion was necessary. Although he paid the doctor's, bills and gave her slippers and other.- presents, she. has now refused to have anything;: more to do with him. A splendid funeral procession was proceeding from Hongo, Japan, to bury the remains off Ta,rofi, the head of a gambling den, when th police stopped the ceremony, as the dead inaiv was believed to be an escaped convict. This was found to be true, and the body was taken tor the prison burial ground. An interesting innovation in connection witfii the maceuvres of the South Notts Hus&ars, was the introduction of motor-bicycles. Instruct tions had been given that men might attend on: motor-bicycles to the number of three per squadron, and they received the same pay as mounted men. The King witnessed a performance of "Thet Little Michus" at Daly's Theatre. Mrs. Rawlings, a Bristol woman who recently gave birth to four children, has received a charitable donation of F.2 from the King's Priv-S Purse. 6 Mrs. Harriett Ann Stead! was fined £ 2 a6 Scarborough for altering her daughter's births ceiftifica,te so as to make her age appear to bffl fourteen in:ste:adi of thirteen. Ae a horse and cart were being driven through! a ford at Horn era field, Norfolk, the animal was carried off its feet and) drowned, the dtrivec being rescued with some difficulty. The King has sent a cheque for £ 110 to Mayor of Windsor for his poor box, and £2() for tickets for convalescent homes. He has also* sent £ 30 to the Windsor Association for thia care of Friendless Girls. A coroner's jury at Farnham returned ? verdict of "Wilful murder" against Mrs* Beatrict Noble, the wife Of an artist, who charged1 with killing her childl. The jury added a rider that Mrs. Noble was not responsible for her actions. The Admiralty have directed that the reo-ulafl- mould loft .and) drawing loft and drawing °staff at Pembroke Dockyard, at present numbering about fifty, is to be reduced to twelve, which; in an emergency may be increased; to fifteen, a the discretion of the captain-superintendent. "You speak like a Chancery barrister or to free trade candidate. Speak up 1" exclaimed Judlge Addiison at Southwark to a witness whoso voice was almost inaudible. The Japanese Imperial family own thirty, palaces in various parts, of Japan. TlL' pre- sent Emperor has, however, only occupied a. few of them, never having even seen some ofi them. Large flights of wildfowl, driven from the* north by stormy weather, aire appearing on thEJI. East Coast. ° While skating on a lake at Danbury, Con- necticut, Mies Mary Silliman lost a valuable jewelled locket, which fell through a hole irk. the ice. A week later she went to the refri- gerator in her home, and, taking out a piece; of ice, was astonished to see the lost locked in the middle of it.