Barry Dock News

I TEA TABLE TALK. Tke Dowager Queen Louise of Denmark is the tallest Royalty in Europe, being more thail six feet in height. » < Miss Colette O'Niel, the well-known actress, is in private life Lady Constance Malleson, half-sister of the late Lord Annes- ley. In 1915 she married Mr. Miles Malleeon, the well-known author, and took up acting because she believes that every woman ought to be able to earo her own living. Queen Wilhelmina of Holland is fond of telling a delightful story about her mother, Queen Emma. The latter's husband, King William, owned a very valuable porcelain tea service, and he thought so much of it that he threatened to dismiss any servant who should be unlucky enough to break any part of it. One day a butler, who had been in the Royal service for many years, had the misfortune to smash one of the precious I cups, and in an agony of fear he went to Queen Emma and told her what he had j done. N ever mind!" said her Majesty, "Stick the cup together with cement and leave the rest to me." < This wae accordingly done, and when the Royal Family sat down to tea the next day the mended cup was placed close to Queen Emma on the table. Suddenly her Majesty turned hastily round to speak to the King, and as she did so she swept the cup on to the floor with her arm. As it crashed into a dozen pieces she pretended toO be deeply uptiet, and said timidly to the King, j "There, see what an awkward servant I am! j You will have to dismiss me from your ser. vice." Seeing how grieved she was, the King buried his chagrin and made light of the matter, while the old butler who had broken the cup in the first instance stood tremblingly by, thanking his good fortune that he possessed a mistress who, by her tact and kindness, had saved him his place. < < Baroness Helene Gingold, who was ap- pointed poet laureate to Duke Ernest of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha at the age of sixteen, and held that post until the duke's death, is ti a poet and playwright of great repute. • » i rincess Henry of Battenberg is the .'?est child of the late Queen Victoria, i was her mother's constant companion, I < after t-L; married Prince Henry of Bat- g. Queen Victoria's consent was easily jrriu'd to the marriage, and she was devoted to her son-in-law, who was allowed privileges denied to her own children, and could be late for a meal without dire results. Prin- cess Henry's three SOD." and her only daugh- ter, now Queen of Spain, did much to brighten Queen Victoria's declining years. VriWss Henry of Battenberg is very musi- cal and a finished pianist, and in Queen Vic- h rh? life the mother and daughter often :av?I piano quartets wit h the ladiee-in- v-iin?. As CoYcriwr of the Isle of Wight, is the only woman member of the Royal ? Y: tht Squadron. She gave up her residence, O-nriie Cottage, a few years ago, and ii?iit;c and picturesque Cariebrooke Cattle i r.Qw her home in the island. if N*. t a little of Lord Chelmsford's popu- L, it y whell he was in Australia was due to ¡; CJI("mhfon1. a liostese of rare tact and I jf ity, who. it is safe to affirm, will prove -f I)opiilaj, of Viceroys' wives Iha* ever known. Some idea of the i i nity <4 Lord and Lady Chelmsford in Ai nilia may be gathered from the remark Hy hi<>y paper which described them ']" i'l; of all and the enemy of jit hi i ublic and private life Lord and i, ly Chelmsford have lived up to the hi.eho't idea Itf. » if v II pwood is a daughter of General k, who is so well remembered at L -iuirc. Sir Francis 'Hopwood, as a member o! the Commission which visited South -ica to inquire as to the desirability of uting self-government to the two new colonies, had much to do with • jjg'i'ng about the state of feeling in the '••n which has'led up to such remarkable i veiopnient<« during the present war. i 'rincess Mary is gifted with the sound I < mmon sense of her mother, and forms very •riff-ided views. Once sonic of her friends I were having a friendly little argument as to v-uieh profe^-ion produces the bravest men. said the Army, others the Navy, others v ted for the medical profession. The L'riucess listened very quietly to what they ji had to say, and then remarked very deliberately, "I think you're all wrong. To :y mind airmen are the bravest men that ':ih be found." It is an open secret that it • s the Princess's great ambition to take a •■"ill in an aeroplane or an airship. Before !-it;. war her chief excitement and pleasure <v.s that of watching the various Hying dis- plavs '?<? up for the speciM! 1wndit of the !? v?t t:un:h. And .she neYd tires of talk- aeroplanes with her brother, Prince \i:,rt, who. like all .sailormen, is very h,en 'i0yin?t<?. I.adv Kathleen Hasting*, eldest dnu?htcr !<fjeE?ri aMdC'o!))?<? of Huntingdon, is •* i author of ?ome di-tinction. Her play, •' CU'mds," was produced at the Court fh atie in 1914, and she contributes articles .snd «• lories to the leading magazines. She -it on! her first play when only tour- it est. a (id v <1 in it herself. ♦ Among Jeaflei's of aocjeiy few ladies hold rif|i;;lar and high a place as Lady Derby. '■ i iiiriend of the Royal family, she was tMjr the liist ladies diown to form Queen and mutely became Woman of the Bed- to Queen Alexandra. The secret of Is- v Derby's popularity IiVw in the fact that I; an interest iu everyone and every- She is a delightful hostess, a great ,.f all the arts, and an enthusiastic vr-teo of outdoor life and sport. Lord and Derby have three children, the eldest oi whom. Lord Stan lev, heir to the earldom, appointed A .D C. to Lord French at the j ..e»- i •!iii;;ii" the war. i » One seems to detect a slightly ironical in- tonation in Lady Poore's references to Mr. Churchill in her book of "Recollections of un Admiral's Wife." A propos of his once calling u pon her at tea-time at Chatham so fcot and dishevelled that she wondered whether be could have been acquiring know- ledge by shovelling coal in the stokehold of a jfockvard tug, she remarkes: "At no time Kv Mr. Churchill boon ei>usidered a success- oi exponent of the sartorial art. but. the st'ty goer, that once, at lea si, he arrayed himself on an occasion of importance in the uniform of an Elder Brot of Trinity Fioa.^e.. This was during an official visit to i'l^nepf and to the question of the puzzled h officer who inquired what rauk and •■•vice the uniform represented, the First .{rd is )T;>ori.ed to 1¡;(. !1I::d" 1 he astoun d- ill J'('p!' Je .'illis le I'ji'ie Ajue de la Tt'iiiilc.' Mrs. Gabrielte Knthoveii. v. hose play, Ellen Young," was prednced by the Pioneer Plavers?, possesses ihc fnie.-t eol]«>ction of pS-tybilis of London theatres in iu-e, Ti.i-v number about 90.000. and date from Siddons' fijvt a upcarauee. Others murk the debuts of F.dnsuBd Keatf and KHen Terry,

r FUN AND FANCY. Diner at Hotel: "I say, waiter, your food is worse than it was last yegz." Waiter: "Impossible, sir!" Jacksey: "Yus, my poor brother had no eddication, an' it wurhis ruin J" Eickeey: "How was that?" Jacksey: "He forged a name on a cheque, an' the spellin-I wur had. < CII wish, Mrs. Nurich, you would come over some time and see my apiary." "Thank you, Mr. Jiggs; but, really, monkeys never interested me." Little Lemuel: "Father, what is the meauing of ostentation?" Pa: "Ostenta- tion, my son, is a way the neighbours have of showing off." "I trust we shall make you feel quite at home," remarked the hotel manager. "Don't you try it," expostulated the visitor. "I want to have a good time!" "Love will find a. way," quoted the senti- mental young man. "Yes, even though it may be only a way out," added the Simple Mug, who had been jilted. An attorney was cross-examining a wit- ness. "You say you left London on the six. teenth," queried the lawyer. "Yes, sir," replied the witness. "And returned on the t wenty-eighth ?" Yes, sir." "What were you doing in the interim?" "I never was in such a place!" he replied indignantly. Mabel (discussing sweetheart) "He is the most upright, high-minded, honourable fellow in the world." Maud: "Goodness, "Uy dear, you'll starve to death Harry and Charlie, aged five and three reo spectively, have just been seated at the nursery table for dinner. Harry notices there is but one orange on the tfcble, and immediately eets up a wail that brings his mother to the scene. "Why, Harry, what are you crying for?" she asks. "Because there ain't any orange for Charlie. "Why are your patients all eo awfully (Jlaiu" a visitor to the Canadian hospital at Le Toquet asked the C.O. "They are rather, aren't iliey?"' he replied. "But, you see, it's like this. The ambulance cam all pass the Dn iu><i of Blankminster's hospital first, and they have first pick. And, of course^ they don't want ugly or very badly woundeA ones to make pets of and call Mamma: "Well, Edith, how did you find the Kindergarten?" Edith: "I did not like it at all. The mistress told me to sit down for the present. I sat down for quite a long time, but she did not give me the pre- sent." Farmer: "Yes, I want a man. Are you a *ood jumper?" Applicant: "Well, yes." You could jump a barbed wire fenee with- "ut much trouble, I s'pœe?" HUm-I so." "Well, that's all right, then; &v>. You see, some of our bulls ie a !<-etle wtM." Culgcr: "What fvcame of that young a<K,«'Je who used to knock about a lot with IIookem" Jopson: "Do you mean that ass who spent all his money on her?" Bulger: "Yes. What became of. him?' Ji>p?on: "011, he met with the fate of ail III -he L,,ot 'broke. A doctor who was called in to see a 6ick Iri hman at once advised Pat to go to bed, and was surprised when his patient strongly objected. "Faith, an' I'll not go!" said Put. "But why not?" asked the doctor. "Because, doctor dear, it's a terrible place, .j m unhealthy. Look at the hundreds ilia* have died there!" "Now. then, said the teacher of arith- metic, "what is above par?" "I think I ;iow," ventured a small boy. "Well?" the teacher. "It's ma." Farmer Stackrider (ruminatinglv) "I kieda b'lieve I'll huv one o' tKem safety labors that. I see adve'tised so much. Mrs. (peevishly) "'Ifes, that's just exactly like YO1 Ja."oll: You ain't got no more consideration for a toilin' woman than a mill-stone. How do you s'po-;e I can rip up eani, witb a safety razor;" Wilson: "I despise a hypocrite." Tomson: '•So do I." \Vilson: Now, take Jackson •;>r example, lie's the !>iggost hypocrite on earth. 1 despise that man.' Tomson: "But vou seem to be his best friend." Wilson "Ok, ves; I try to appear friendly towards him. It pays better in the end, sou know." Tommv: "Hallo, Jimmy, what kep' you?" and the oW man had an argu- ;>t. He wanted me to haul some coal into i he backyard." Tommy; "How did it end?" "fn v 4raii,; I drawed it." A lady, famed for her skill in cooking, entertaining a number of friends at Everything on the table was much a-.imired, but the excellence of the sponge- <'likes was especially the .subject of remark. ■•Oh' exclaimed one of the guests; "it is beautifully soft and light! Do tell me where you got the recipe." "I am very Lr ad." replied the hostess, "that you find it .,(1 soft and light. I made it out of my own head. Major: "Look here, see that Private M nrithy doesn't get any meat to his dinner !,i.(!ir," Sergeant (saluting): "Please, sir, ain't any punishment for him; he's a v- -^etarian." Major: "Indeed! Then see uat he has two pounds of beef steak." ••Mr. Anderson," said the doctor, "I fear vour wife's mind is gone!" "That doesn't vise me," replied Mr. Anderson. "She La, been giving me a piece of it every day for the last ten years." Little Henry (five years old) saw a large iici arc of George Washington for the first lime in his life. "Mamma, who's that?" he a>ked. "That's George Washington, deary. "Who's he, mamma?" "He was a man who always told the truth-to his teacher, to his papa and his mamma, he lies- -v told a lie." "What was the matter .vie him?" queried Henry, in wide-eyed amazement. "Couldn't he talk?" Visitor: "Has that girl next door to yon still got her piano?" Host: "No; she ex- changed it for a cornet, I'm glad to say." "Bat that's worse, it?" "Not at all. J t' only half a,s l);d. She can't sing while tk. phyiJlrY ¡he coT!wt." TOHllllY one clztv climbed an apple tree, in- ieliding to fill his pocketB with apples. When he was about to start the farmer to svlmm the tree belonged came around, and, seeing the boy. he asked, "What rights in my tree?" The Boy (rather ir. I'm very sor-isori I'just had !)if irii-fortd.ie to fall out of A mi

Watch ?s?. 1: ?//?'B!*?' ?t Your- Spending TWO families of the same s ize and with the same income, living side by side, paying the same rent, faced with the same necessary expenses. One tamfly is prosperous and comfortable the other living alwavs in debt, or on the border of it. Why is this ? <' The first family has mastered the secret of WISE SPENDING — the second has not. The first thing the wise spender finds is that contentment is impossible without a margin-nothing is more miserable than to live right up to one's income. Something must be set aside each week to meet the needs of next week, next month, or the more distant future. The man who spends all his income is poor. The man with a margin is rich, and the bigger his weekly, monthly or yearly margin, the richer he is. WATCH YOUR SPENDING-Save something every. week. You cannot do better with your Savings than invest them in ■MSPgl c.JèERTIFICATES Obiainable through your local SA VJNGS ASSOCIA TION or from any Official A sent, Money Order Post Office or Bank. BRAIN'S ?t?L???? ?N))ttF?? ?? ?C?B? ??)b? <J&??3 t???? ?N????MP*?? JB? M ??? BEERS AT THE BARRY DOCK, THE WINDSOR, AND THE CASTLE HOTELS. Almost as much as you want! —WBW..JWU tbiJUMMPMi.ili |||| | || DlILErom r ^< £ 1jp GRAMOPHONES ow vo&c.. ") VIOLINS, MANDOLINES, I BANJOS, AagjtO ktad* of MUSICAL MERCHANDISE TUNINGS. RENOVATIONS, ¡ LISTS FREE pmEwmgF mat STREET tCASTU ARCADE. I CARDIFF. -I_. PIANOS, PLAYER PIANOS, ORGANS. StnJ ft CSfotogu* Best CASH EASY PAYMENT-TERM& DM.F0RTP(5D? H!GH STREETtCASTlEARCADE, |I CARDIFF I TELH03 All kinds of New and Repair Work. Shop and Office Fitting. COPP Bros., BUILDERS, 28, Lewis Street, and Edgehill," Victoria Park. Send Post Card. FOR CAKES, PASTRIES, BREAD, CONFECTIONERY, & SWEETS,; GO TO BEYNON'S, Largest Bakery in the District. SiiOPS SUPPLIED THROUGH THE WHOLE DISTRICT. STifiAM BAKERY V- FACTORY: 200-202, HOLTON-RD., BARRY DOCKS. TEL, o. 266