The Brecon Reporter and South Wales General Advertiser

THE FOUR KINGS OF CANDYLAND. A Tale for Children. Once on a time the Bluebell Fairy was offended, and Bad results eBaaed. The King and Queen of Candy- land sent the Lord High Chancellor down to the Blue- bell wood the day after their firstborn came into the world to ask the Fairy if she would be so kind as to bestow as much courage on the heir-apparent as she could conveniently spare; but, having just packed up a fairy gift for the little fellow that would have suited him a hundred times better, she flew out of her Blue- bell in a great passion at the Chancellor, and told him to get out of her wood at once, for he was so ugly and stupid she could not bear the Bight of him. "And tell the King," said she, that the Prince shall grow up bold enough, if only he is christened by the name of Longnose." So Longnose the Prince was called, and bold enough he was growing, when a second Prince was born, whom both King and Queen wished to be a courtier. Down went the Chancellor to the wood, just as the Bluebell Fairy had out out a large piece of Honesty that would have fitted the baby Prince all the days of his life. Still she promised that. if they would christen the child by the odd name of Greathand, he should certainly grow up a very smooth-spoken sort of a Prince. Well, after a few years, came a third Prince; and this time they all went down to the Blue-bell wood in great state Kiug, Queen, Lord Chancellor, and Court—to ask for the Poet's gift; but having just corked up a battle of Industry for the baby, she was so offended this time that, after crying out, Call him Bigaars, and be off!" she flew back into her Blue- bell drew its leaves round her, and a'lowed any'Candylandera to sea bar or spsak with 1 er any To,* when a fourth Prince came tl oonld not find the Fairy; and, after waiting a 5oar toi a day for her, as this youDgeat son promised U- He neither bold, polite, nor poetic, they called hitr. ulo by that name he was known ifor ever so 3: op fi. **r. Perhaps it was as well for them that the 1 had gone away, for they found, in course of time, that their Brave prince had a Nose two yards long, that their Courteous prince's Handa were as long as his arm, and that their Poet prince had a huge pair of ears, as rough and as hairy as a donkey's. These were the sad results that ensued from offending the Fairy, and sad enough the Candylanders thought them, when, from very grief, the old King and Queen fell ill and died ',leaving the kin gdom between their three eldest sons, and only reserving a sterile, rocky, little north end bit for Slow, hardly enough excuse for his wearing a crown, let alone paying for it. But that brings ua to the Sandylanders and their Giant. In Sanciyland nothing would grow but weeds, and not many of them; so the Sandylanders, who were so rich, fat, and selfish when the Giant helped them, became poor, thin, and sorry after he had gone away. He would not have deserted them if they had treated him well; but after bringing them such heaps of gold, silver, and precious stones from the great mountain over which rises the Sun, he thought to rest himself a little, while they greedily sought for more. They made him work for them night and day.; and, although he was as good- tempered a Giant as you would ever wish to find, he ran away from them into a cave up the mountain where no one cared to go, and there gathering to him for playmates a thousand leopards, left the silly Sandy- landers to their own devices. If their King was not so thin as they were, he was quite as miserable, for his subjects all abused him for allowing them to be so selfish and wicked to the (iiarit; and, although they did not cry out against his only daughter, Daisy, the Princess, they insisted upon offering her as a prize to the first bold man who should bring the Giant back. They might as well have done a little work for themselves, only that did not occur to them; for now the Giant was gone away, tne only question was, "Who will fetch him back?" There he sits in his dark cave, glaring at all intruders. The Bandylanders will not, I am sure, for there are only two inhabitants of that country; and I think you will agree with me that they could not do much against any giant; nor the Handy landers, for they are such a race of cowards as to run away from each other; so, of course, they ran away from the giant. As to the Four Kings of Candyland, with Princess Daisy for a prize, we shall see. There is the old Sandyland King at the door ef his palace pointing to them as they come in procession, while the Princess implores him to deliver her from the attentions of such an ugly set of Kings; but as her father invites them in to dinner, Princess Daisy is rather to be pitied, I think. Shall Longnose conquer ? The Princess hopes not; he, bold King, felt certain that he should the more when, at-the mouth of the Giant's cave, he killed every one of the thousand leopards without getting a scratch; but when the Giant peeped out to see who had been killing his pets, he was so put out at the absurd length of the famous nose, that he caught hold of it very rudely and swung King Longnose back to Candyland. Will Greathand persuade? he could persuade al- most anybody; still he had a difficulty with the Giant, who might, and, indeed, would, have gone back with the King if he had not caught sight of his mon- strous hands but they so offended him that he just struck Greathand a blow with his fist, and off he flew to join his brother. Will Bigears charm this Giant? He sang a sweet song to him, and pleased him very much yet when the donkey's ears came in view, his pleasures were brought so suddenly to an end that he could think of nothing better to do than, taking up the Poet king by these ears and leaning far over the mountain, to drop him in Candyland too. So all had failed but Slow, and he went up the mountain at last, without waapona, OT compliments, or beautiful songs; but the Giant looking out him, and eeeinf; a. man who could be brave without having so long a nose, who spoke to him honestly and fairly without wearing such great hands, and who, although he sang no sweet ballads, at all events had not donkey's ears, took a notion into his head that this was a King to be believed in. So as soon as Slow had promised that he should never be ill-treated again, he called out, "Your name shall be Speedwell; you shall be my King, and I will carry you down on my shoulder." So it was only Slow, when he became Speedwell, who brought the Giant back. The King of Sandyland, feeling that he could not manage the Giant, gave up the kingdom to Speedwell, on the day of his marriage with Princess Daisy; and as for the elder brothers, they were so ashamed of their defeat that, as soon as they heard how the Handy- landers had implored Speedwell to govern them, as they could not govern themselves, Longnose, Great- hand, and Bigears gave up Candy land to their young brother without a word, and, moreover, went over to Sandyland to danoe at Speedwell's wedding. So that Speedwell the King and Daisy the Queen ruled Saady-, land, Handyland, and Candyland, for many a long year after.—C. H. Bennett, in Christmas number of Illus- trated London News.

THE FRIENDLY MEETING ON THE TOP OF A MOUNTAIN. The first walk that I ever took upon the high Alps was with two friends of mine—experienced moun- taineers, who wanted to make a certain pass without guides. They persuaded me to come with them, and it was agreed that, as we knew little of the route, it would be well to spend the first night as high on the hills as possible. We therefore started one morning, and climbed the mountain side in the direction of the pass. It lay at a great distance, and we had rather a hot walk, which was tiring to me as a beginner. My friends, according to the amiable custom of old travellers, took the opportunity to cram me with a variety of appalling stories as to mountain dangers- to impress upon me, as they said, tha necessity of caution. One I happen to remember particularly well, for reasons which you will soon perceive. I had pointed to a heavy mass of cloud in the opening of the valley. Ah! eaid one of them, that looks like snow. It is an awkward thing sometimes on the mountains." And then they proceeded to tell me of the sad accident which occurred, now many years ago, on the Col du Bonhomme. Four English travellers, I think, set out rather late to cross the pass, which in fine weather is in no way dangerous. A terrible snow- storm, however, came on. They were forced to return; but on the way back, two of them became so ex- hausted that they insisted upon lying down and sleeping, in spite of all the efforts of their comrades, who knew the danger. When these and the guide had got back with great difficulty to the inn, they sent help immediately; but both the poor fellows were dead. You may still see the last words they wrote in the travellers' book at the inn, when starting in high spirits for their walk. Soon after this anecdote, we got to a little chalet, a kind of lean-to against the side of the mountain, where we resolved to pass the night. The back of it was formed by the rock, and the roof was supported by loose beams, resting at one end against the rock, and sloping nearly to the ground at the other. It was secured, as usual in the Alps, by heavy stones resting upon it-just like the hut in which we are now lying. It was nearly full of hay, which would make a good bed: I wish we had some here. I was tired, and glad to rest; but my friends resolved ta make an exploring expedition, to see if they could lay down the proper route for the next day. We took a meal, and they started, whilst I sat comfortably down on a big stone, and watched them off. They were soon a long way above me, and a wreath of mist wandering about the valley hid them from my eight. I resolved to make everything comfortable for the night. I smoked two or three pipes, made comfortlloblecouches of the hay, spread our plaids upon them, and sat down to think. Naturally, there was not very much to think about. My seat was very comfortable, and I put up my feet, to muse. Somehow, I began to wander a good deal, and before I knew it, I was as fast asleep as a marmot. How long I had slept, I know not. When I opened my eyes again, I felt like a man in one of Poe's stories who fancies himself buried alive. I was in pitch dark- ness. There was a melancholy wailing sound which seemed to fill the very air. For a minute or two, I could not guess where I was, and I felt quite frightened and bewildered. As my recollec- tion partly returned, I knew that I had started with my friends, and called out: MarBden No answer. Fitzroy! where are you ?" Echo did not think it ) worth while to answer according to precedent., but the low moan, which I now understood to be caused by the rising wind, continued drearily. I came fully back to my senses, felt about with my hands, and groped my way to the door. I threw it open, and looked out into blank and utter darkness. The wind, which seemed to be getting more furious every moment, was driving a heavy mist down before it. I stretched out my hands, and a wet cold flake or two melted upon them. It was beginning to snow. My friends were out on the hillside, without a plaid, without even a drop of brandy, and I thought of the Col da Bon- homme. What was I to do? My first impression was to strike a light. I groped in a knapsack for a long time after the matches; at last I found the box. One match after another missed fire; one or two made a feeble spattering, and threw a dim blue light upon an area of about an inch in diameter. They had got wet through; and all my attempts were fruitless. I stood still fer a moment, and tried to think. To go after my friends, would be madness; I should be hopelessly lost in a moment. A hundred yards from the hut, it would be as hard to recover as if it were a mile off. To go down to the valley for help, was equally absurd; it was several hours' walk by day. light, to say nothing of the probability that I should be dashed in piece* over the cliffs I had seen in the morning. There was nothing for it but to wait till dawn. If-I thought in a moment of selfishness-if I could only get to sleep again! But there was not much more chance of that than if I had been waiting for execution. My nervous irritation was getting more unbearable every moment. I walked up and down, feeling for avery step; I stamped on the ground with vexation. Possibly, if I had kept awake, I might have been able to give them some signal. I at first hoped that they might have got back to the valley, missing the hut by mistake; but judging by the time at which I had seen them last, that was clearly impos- sible. I began to feel a sense of something like awe creeping over me at my qtter helplessness and deso- lation. I threw myself down on the hay, groaned, and listened to the wind. It rose higher and higher, and seemed to howl in triumph as it swept part the hut, and whistled through the thin ill-fitting boards. A deep growl seemed suddenly to shake the very I rosk which formed the back of the wretched hovel; and for an instant a blue phosphoric glare life up the darkness. The groves gradually became buder and the lightning nearer, and I seemed tj have teen lying for hours where I was. At last a crss'a seemed to shake tbe roof, as if some monster had fixec its claw in it; the big stones overhead rattled fnd almost jumped; and with a vague impression thai the whole ricketty concern was coming down on the top of me, I instinctively sprang tc my feet, and male a rush at the door. It opened outwards, and I pluDged into the storm. The door shut behind me, and there was I left staring vaguely into utter blackness- Well, I never knew or how I got through it. I had been trying to Janoy at inter- vals what could bo the fate of my friends, alone in this tremendous storm, amidst trefcherous cliffs, which they did not kr off, and where the most expe- riencad native could hardly have fount hia way under such circuoi spaces. As we afterwards bad reason to think, they had got upon the snow, and must have partly lost their way amongst the mists before the storm cama on. They hAd wandered-no one can say where-among the cliffs. At Jast they had climbed down a kind of gulley, feeling their way carefully with their Alpenstocks. We could next day see the marks of the spikes where they had stuck into soft ground, and the impression of their nailed boots. The guUy brought them down to a steap, slippery slope, strewn with great boulders, just above ttio edge of a "fall, whose depth it was, of course, utterly impossible to distinguish in the darkness. They had felt over the edge with their poles, but had only been able to make out that the slope stopped abruptly. Suddenly one of them slipped, and in failing, grasped the other. Both of them were precipitated over the edge. Next moment, two most unpleasant bodies were hurled violently against me, and hobnailed boots stamped on my toes; whilst a voice exclaimed in sten- torian tones Hollo 1 ttioiigut, in a. 'bewildes^d way, that bandits had sprung out of the eartla, or t was being collared by a demon of the mountains. But a mmuto 0;' two brought an explanation. The cliff over whose edge my friends had been precipitated was the front of the chalet; the slippery bouider-strewn slope above was its roof; and the final crash with which, as I thought, the storm was fairly destroying everything, was nothing but the feet of mj friends trampling imme- diately over my head. They blew me up for not having kindled a fire, which might have &cted as a signal; and wanted to know, when that was explained, why I had not shouted. They declared that they had been for an hour within two hundred yards, and had never really lost their way. Some people are always right. Why, you would sever have heard me through the thunder; and besides, to tell you the truth, I never thought of shouting. If you doubt that, you may read Da Qaincey; and you will sea that when he was just running over two people with a fdur.borse coach, he never thought o; shouting till he accidentally re- membered a passage in Homer where some hero shouts. I didn't remember a passage in Homer. Up and Down Moni BlancChambers' Annual.

PICKINGS FROM PUNCH AND FUN ALMANACS. SIMPLE STORIES FOR THE YOUNG. PRUDENT GEORGE.—George was such a prudent saving boy that he told his kind papa he did not wish to spend his Christmas holidays. So he stayed at school all the time, and so instead of Ppanding any- thing he got a good deal of change. GREEDY JIMMY,—Jimmy was a voraoious boy. When his uncle Jahn sent him a cake his mamma said to him, "Yoa cannot have your cake and eat it too." But the foolish lad said he only wished to have it that he might eat it. So his mamma gave it him, and he and his friends ate it up. And when it was all eaten up there waa none left, as his kind mamma had told him. But he said he didn't care, for he supposed he should get another some day. SOMEBODY'S SAYINGS. The course of t?ue love is a race-course where there is often a false start. Alas 1 how fleeting are the charms of Nature when unhelped by Art! Who would long prize Beauty, if it were not for soapf Teeth are stopped with gold, and tongues may be so, likewise, A mai with a rich wife is often silenced by her throwing hermoney in his teeth. Philosophers havi speculated as to whether men become beasts after leath; but let us reflect how often they make beasts of themselves before it. Cupid shoots with rifle now, and not with bow and arrows. Else how is it that girls can hear the popping of the question ? Clubs are the wea)ons of the uncivilised. A hus. band is a savage wh(, if his wife threaten him with dining off cold mutbn, is brute enough to fly for protection to his clul. POST-OFFICE REGULATIONS.—Letters may 09 sent under Cover of Itght; but the clerks are not to be Enveloped in darknfts. 2. Postmasters must have the Stamp of respectability about them. 3. The Post- master-General is notto aooept any Foreign Orders. HISTORICAL FACT.—According to the Lady of Shalott, vegetarianism is as old as the Crusades, for they had a Salad-in tlose days. ETIQUETTE.—A yotng lady who permits a kiss, should imitate the British cabman, who on most occa- sions gives his cheek. THREE TRUTHS.—5e who asks to see his wife's accounts is a snob. II who, asked by her, looks at them, is a fool. But he who, after inspection, diminishes her aUowancø, is a beast. RECIPROCITY.—You hay safely mind other people's business. They will basure to mind yours. THE only excuse for tie fool who fears to make his will, is that an execution is generally fatal. CIVIL SERVICE EXAMINATION QUESTION.—HOW much doe3 a fool weigh generally ?-A. simple ton. ADVICE TO AN OLDJaH BACHELOR.—Repent at leisure, and then marry H haste. WINDOW GARDENING (FOR YOUNG LADIES).— Don't plant yourself at the window in curl-papers. By careful choice of situation and attention to aspect, young ladies may, by means of window gardening, successfully cultivate every variety of the sheep's eye (ovis oculus ardens), and convert coxcombs, from the single to the double variety with great success, by the same agreeable pastime. THE ALTERED NATURE. When. I wasyouthful, .j(.. Lovely and truthful, Kindly and luthful, Lon¡;- time ago, Folks would deceive me Plunder s'ndleave me Which used to grieve me Ratler, you know. Then I grew older, Wiser and bo der, Harder and colder, And to do so, Folks began trying, I, slyly eyeing, 9 Took to replying, Not if I know." LATEST FROM OUR ASTBONOMER.—The speed of a meteor appears to exceed the speed of an express, for observers of the phenomena last November univer- sally state that falling stars left trains far behind. SPEECH IS SILVERN, SILENCE GOLDEN." The French have a good eajing, yet not polita nor deep, "Old Bogie loses nothing when men thoir silence keep." keep." What a blessing for reporters and Times' readers it would be, T -p Were this suggestion followed by each talkative M. r. LITERARY NOTICE.—In the Press.—My Table-cloth. The Two Aunts cf the Butler. By the Author of I he Six Sisters of the Valleys. My Pale Companioib.-A bottle of Bass. „ A CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY THOUGHT.—Our school- boys says that the Better Half is the shorter one. A MATTER OF TASTE.—An ardent Entomologist lately fell in love with a lady solely because of her beetle brows. IN THE DIVORCE COURT.—The Man who was Tied to Time is now Bent on a Separation. A MEDIUM PEN.—What spirits write with. AN APPROPRIATE OFFERING.—A printseller wish- ing to give the lady to whom he was engaged some proofs of hia affection, presented her with several choice engravings.. TRUTHS and toads lie at the bottom of the well. Leave em tbere. THE Two GREAT 'VARSITY TEACHERS. Uni. varsity and Ad-varsity. A RASH ACT.—The Vaccination Law. THE "PET" OF THE BALLET.—A strike in the Corps. To NEWLY-MARRIED PEOPLE.—Pon t go to India: there is so much tiffin there. MRS. MALAPROP'S LAST.—Inviting her friends to partake of a Cold Relation. PROVERBS BY OUR BUTCHER.—You must take the Thin with the Thick. <- NATURAL INDIGNATION.—When the dealer at vingt-un gets ace-king. To HOMCEOPATHOS— Never go to law, for «*<- minimis non curat lex. rhi?. NEW CHRISTIAN NAME FL>E OUR GIRLS. A CHECK in time saves line," says a band, explaining that unless you give weak travagaHoe a check, she will ask for one a • REFLECTION. When a frio<i'B arma »re indeed welcome. When you see them on hia carnage sent to fetch you to his dinner. CHRISTMAS IEFMCTION. 'Tis sad to think whai wehave ate And laughed and dinced Q ffed. For blazon we next get "Pill azure, sabi,o,,ire, ft TOiSTS- The dramatist who cities by merci- fully giving us only one>aot nonsense. May the tear of sens*1"^ b9 Wiped by the pocket- handkerchief of com*nin To the tongue thf6 call keep a secret about the false teeth. t. To the man wl° Qaa courage to oonoeal his thoughts. x To brothers not bothers, and sisters who are not „ The c0D8°nants, L. S. D. The fina1?OI0ruiS r°Wels, I. 0. U. P.ICKI'°<:KET S TOAST.—The And that can feel for poeketiandkerchief, and the Art that can prig it without detection. 0 jjOYAL TOAST.The Prince of Whales, and may his enemies blubber, SENTIMENTS. May we never have to shed the tear of regret that we ever denied ourselves anything that we liked. May we never have ooaaeion to serve a friend—with n a writ. May we always be more ready to publish the faults of others tilon, to correct our own. Champagne to our real friends, and advertised champagne 4o our false enemies. MAY difference of opinion never alter expression of unanimity. The throfn. and the halter, and piay the bold fellow who rides with the second never be the firBfc. A PHOTOGRAPHER'S EPITAPH. Taken from life."

THE SORT OF STORY WITHOUT WHICH NO CHRISTMAS NUMBER IS COMPLETE. 4711APTEU I.=HOW THEY HELD THB REVBLS AT WINDSOR. Gramercy, roisterer," said bluff King Hal, as he stood warming his manly, but capacious form by the blazing yule log. Gramercy, but these be malapert knaves to disturb our royalty by their boisterous cheer." Nay, marry, ooz!" said the jester, who knew the king was but joking. The roaring boys knew thou lik'st a revel, and ifackin s they thought 'twould be hard if there were junketting, and thou not to know of it." "Ill score thee over the mazzard with this humming tankard of Dame Margery's primeat brown ale; an' thou callest me bully-boy and awash-buckler." I cry you mercy," said the jester, with a mock reverence. "Thou 'dst liever be at vespers now, I warrant me." The bluff monarch was about to make some quaint response, when the tapestry at the lower end of the hall was raised, and amid a gre ;t blare of trumpets, a motley procession made its way toward the hearthwhere, hisMajesty wasstanding. As its head, a monster in form like a dragon, forced its unwieldly way, guided on one side by a knight in full armour, who bore the device of a red cross on his shield, and was therefore intended' for St. George; and on the other by a fair damsel, modestly attired in kirtle, wimple, and mantle, and representing the lovely Sabra. A noisy and disorderly band of ^knights and Saracens, imps, bears, and monkeys, with a string of wild men, brought up the rear of this strange assemblage. "By cock and pie," said Harry VIII. "I would give a couple of angels to see a combat in real earnest, between the knight and the dragon." "Beshrew thee, nunky!" whispered the jester;. nought might be easier. Bid them enter the lists, andproIlounce a prize of two angels for the winner." Tbou'rt a shrewd knave for a fool," said Henry,, with a hearty laugh. The contest was commanded. The prize was announced, and the struggle began. To the discomfi- ture of chivalry, the dragon was manifestly getting the beat of it, but the bluff king took little heed of it. Hark ye," he whispered to his faithful jester, I would foia learn the name of yon fair Sabra. By the shrine of St. Thomas, and beshrew me, but she's a rare wenoh." Tis i en Ralph, the verdurer's daughter wnis- pered th jester, who was on the most fa.miliarterms with the iionarch. Would'st parley with her ? I'll bid her setk DameU rsala. in the still-room, were thou'lt find her." Aye, marry, there's a stout knave." This whispered colloquy had been overheard by a stripling in forester's attire, who had been toying with one of th3 hounds that lay at the king's feet. As the jester welt on his errand, the youth stole softly after him, quarter. staff in hand. Harke, fool," said he, as soon as they were beyond hearing o! the king. I'll crack thy rascally costard, if thou btt breathe a word of thy false coining into my Mildred's ear." Odds lacking, beshrew me, rudeknave, butgramercy thou shalt," said the jester- With a lot more of that sort of thing, which we are sure our readers don't want any more of.

"OQMJJfON SENSE" ON ASTRONOMY. The autior of a book called Common Sense" is a superlative joker, and his friend Parallax (whoever he may be) belongs, no doubt, to the same facetious school of philosojhers. The author of this very amusing and not altogether uninttructive essay endaa* vours to laugh us out of all that modern science has taught us oa the subject of astronomy. The alleged discoveries of Copernicus and Newton- Pureintelligence, whom God To mortals lent to trace his boundless works, Through laws sublimely simple—" are no discoveries at all. They are mere assumptions and idle theories in fact, the Newtonian system is an execrable superstition." Our'author boldly contends that the earth is not a globe, and that there are no antipodes. He maintains that the earth is an extanded "level surface, on every hand raised above the one grand level of seas and oceans;" a horizontal plane: that it is immoveable; that if it travelled at the speed. assigned to it by modern astronomers, everything would fall off it; and he confidently appeals to tie testimony of the visual organs of mankind in all ages as to the fixity of the earth (which he denies to be a planet) and the motions of the heavenly bodies in con- firmation of his assertion. He treats with supreme oontempt and denounces in the fabrongest-were he not joking, we would say the most offensive-opithate, modern astronomers and their theories Those earthly godfathers of heaven's lights That give a name to every fixed stnr, Have no more profit, of their shining iiightg Than those that walk and wot not what fclioy are. Indeed, he affirms, with confidence, that tl r>ntioz& of the rustic vulgar before the Copernioaia system wat* developed are true, and those of the philosophers false. With the exception of the assertion that the earth is a plane or level surface (the inequalities of hills v and mountains being inappreciable in compariaon to the vast ize of the body), the author's philosophy is purely negative. He does not attempt to construct any system which will afford an explanation of the phenomena we perceive; his purpose is simply de- structive. He endeavours to overturn tie arguments advanced by eminent writers to prove the globular form of the earth, and in some cases he is excessively happy in the manner in.whia he take3 advantage of unguarded expressions end amphibolis. He is always amusing and playful, but nothing can be more mirth- paoving than the affeQtei solemnity with which he puts himself forward as the advocate of trlltb-evan though he should be a martyr in opposition to all the asibronomidil theorists. Throughout the work the author llays abundant evidence of deep thought and a nioey discerning mind, but hie- love of fun and irony neve- forsakes him. He banters, ridicules, jeers, scoffs, endchaffs the philosophers in a manner that would be neroiless if it were not so humorous; and what puzzes us, is that some of his reviewers shouia have attempted to treat him seriously. As a specimen of the autlor's pleasant logic, let the following suffice. Dr. Mani, in an argument to prove the convexity of the earth, tijs, that mankind having invented ships, went "to ail in them on the sea. They then went further and?brther, until at last they fpund they could again reach he spot they started from without turning back at all" To this our author Replies, "Here we find that tie ship went further and further, and got back again, levertheless; and that, although they got back again,it was without turning back at all. So ttey came back, then, or returned." It is not likely, notwithstanding the challenge thrown out in the pieface, that any of the theoretical astronomers,' to use the author's phrase, will seriously vouchsafe an answer to. a work written in this pleasant vein.

CHRISTMAS BELLS. I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols ply, And wild and sweet, The words repeat, Of peace on earth, good-will to nen. And thought how, as the day had come,. The belfries of all Christendom Had rolled along- The unbroken song, Of pease on earth, good-wiu to men. Till, ringing, singing on its way, 11 til The world revolved from night to day,, A voice, a chime, A chant sublime, Of peace on earth, good-will to nun. Then from each blaok, acoursed Jnon, The eannon thundered in the south; And with the sound The carols drowned, Of peace on earth, good-will to men. It was as if an earthquake rent The hearthstones of a continent, And made forlorn The households born Of peace on earth, good-will to men. And in despair I bowed my head, There is no peace on earth," I said, For hate ia strong,, And mocks the song, Of peace on earth, good-will to men." Then pealed the bells more loud and deep, God is not dead; nor doth he sleep; The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men. -Longfellow.

THE FESTIVE SEASON. The Scotch, from their extreme Presyyterianism, eschew all high days and holidays consecrated to religious festival; hence Christmas has no red mark in the Scotch calendar, and is neither observed by kirkman nor shopkeeper; but, as a substitute, they make a civil holiday on New Year's Day, and dedicate to "Bacchus," morning, noon, and night, the double- faced Janus." In rural districts, the first Monday of January, "Hansel lVIonday," is universally observed as a re-uaion day, when grandmothers, uncles, and second cousins pledge the mountain dew over the fatted calf" (alias sow). TheSe days, in town and country, form the two climax festivals, when it is no sin but an honour 60 be more than half seas over." "The daft days," however, take a range of thirty on either side, with hard labour." From the beginning of gloomy December until sleety February proclaims that the spring-time of the year is coming, there is a pleasure-seeking near the best rose of the garden." Sprightly youth, in braided hair and satin shoes, flirts it from the tea-table to the dinner, and all goes merry as a marriage-bell." The invitation cards, in lace and livery tipped with fancy wax, is anxiously awaited as the running post" gives first a double rap, and then a little one behind. Night after night, in endless round, the steaming urn sends the hissing kettle from tray to tray, and paterfamilias deals out his rennets and his cake, with many a sparkling joke to his juvenile guests, ere long finding himself at anchor over a richly-reeking rummer of famed "Glenlivet," surrounded by "jolly companions every one." The biting winds and bleeting rains, the drifting snow and surging peal may rage in howling tempest; but a Scotchman in his cups dreams only of fairyland, where all is bright and sunny, and everything looks fanny, as he gives, "A happy new year, and a siller Hansel Monday! Scotch cooky shines" do not differ very materially from English picnics only the senior members of the sterner sex get sooner out of the mess, by leaving the gentler sex to do the polite for the youngsters with the preserves and nutcrackers, the puzzles, forfeits, and charades, while they settle the "affairs of the state in a way that might be held to compromise the distant followers even of Dr. Mary Walker. None of your tame domino drivel or jeu de carte Franqaist to kill the time. But 'tis most true that a merrier crew can not be found elsewhere," singing, Here's a health to all good lasses, Pledge it merrily, fill your glasses, Let the bumper toast go round! Yet the customs of other countries are fast super- seding the rigidy matter-of-fact customs of the Scotch; and none has made more rapid strides of late years than tae evergreen decorations of Eng. land and the Chjistmas trees of Germany. The holly, the mistletoe, and the ivy are gathered from the wolds and walls to summer over the portals and entwine the gaseliers, and festoon the halls. The fir-tree, the larch, and the pine are trans- planted from the forest, to bear np&n their bendicg roughs the rich fruitage of a thousand glittering and gilded toys, mingled with the artistic needle- work of "Dorcas" maids, and beaded with gem3 of pearly huea that wc '1." one into the faith, that a thousand fishef .:th their phosphoric eyes through the shad. :ir the crossed twigs. The bearded pard as garb of reverential mystery, and ancoccc^ advent from the distant regions of the Fso'iivaaux with gifts for all who have exempFfe i graces and displayed the virtues that seoure parental approbation! Thus old Father Christmas, as ancient Father Time, presses into the service of the imported pastime the hoary- headed grandpapa, the mi idle-aged wooers, and the curly, gentle fay, who, like boy and girls around the may.pole, or reapers around thf sheaf of harvest-home, trip it in the ring togather superseding the punch- bowl and neglecting the todcy-ladle.