Abergavenny Chronicle

THINGS THOUGHTFUL. 1 4 It is well to bear reproach without an answer: better still to forget.-Tiruvat- luvàr. There are three great questions which in life we have over and over again to answer. Is it right or wrong! Is it true or false? Is it beautiful or -Ligly P Our education ought to help us to answer these questions. —Sir John Lubbock. Most men are slaves because they cannot pronounce the monosyllable "No." A polite man may pronounce it whenever he. chooses, with less, danger of offence than a rude wian's "Yes.Lcy-.d Clarendon. It is an everlasting duty, the duty of being brave. Valour is still value. The first duty of a man is still that of subduing fear. We must get rid of fear; we cannot aot till then. A man shall and mu:it 00 valiant, he must march forward. Now and always the completeness cf his victory over fear will determine hpw much, of a man he is.—Carlyle. Our wcrl: may seem a discord, Though we do the best we can; But otters wiH bcr the music, If we carry out God's plan. -Minnie E. Kenney. I THE ESSENTIAL ELEMENT. J V, hat a beautiful thing is love! How- ever poor our circumstances, louirible our homes, mean and uncultivated our facili- ties, or limited the number of cur friends, love can make a heaven in the breast. There is no heaven without it. Love is the essential element of heaven, nor gold, nor fame, nor pleasure, nor-friends, nor position can tako its place. All AKJ rich who love and are loved. All are poor who possess not love.—General Booth. —— It is our own fault if we are querulous or ill humoured; nor need we, though this- is less easy, allow ourselves to be 'lilade un- happy by the querulousnesfe or ill humours of others.—Sir John Lubbock. I r WISE IN TIME. 1 "Nine tenths of our wisdom Mea in being wise in time," says a great statesman. As far as results are concerned, the wisdom that comes too Iat& is often little better than folly. "If qnly I had thought of it when the chance offered. I might," is the ptelude to many of our useless regret?. No. one can go beyond his own best judgment 'I at the time when he is called upon to de- cide any question. But in these days when prcpji redness is such » common term, it is well to ileilileullb-cr that there is also such a thing as mental preparedness. >- One's best • judgment at any sudden demand depends uprm the value of the resources that brain and character have been storing before- hand. Ciear thinking is greatly a matter of self-training. Wisdom is an acquire- ment, and the habit of swiftly asking God's counsel in hours of perplexity is an unfail- ing source of enlightenment. The happiness of your life depends upon 1 the quality of your thoughts.Marcus Aurelius. WISDOM. J Life w nought for 1W, frail mortals, But through death whereto we tend; Aud we cross the- heavenly portals Only when on -earth we bend; i Only what we lose, we cherish; Only pluck the flowers that perish; > j Only what* we have not, spend.. This is wisdom; learn to grasp it; Kiss the-fick-le hour that flies; If a joy conras, do not clasp it; Let the dream above thine eyes Wave its wings in ether sailing; So shalt thou dwell unbewailing Till the sun that sets not, rise. —John Addington Symonds. ————————— GOOD SOCIETY. Migh': give counsel to any young scholar, I would say to him, try to fre- quent the company of your betters. In books and life that > is the most wholesome society; learn to admire rightly, the great pleasure of life is that. No,te what the great men admired; they admired great things: narrow spirits admire basely, and J Ireanly.-Thael-oray. Virtue is like precious odours—most f rap, ailt where they are incensed or cru.shed,Bü'()vll.- • MAKING PEOPLE GOOD. j Of course it cannot be done by legisla- tion, any more than blos-oom time can be hurried "úy court decisions. No sane person ..expects to manufacture goodness in a. human soul. But we can at least help clear the stones from the garden where the flowers must grow. We can lend a hand in giving our weaker brother a chanec- to save his soul alive. Let us "take up the stumbling: blocks" cut of the way of our brother. Diminish the number of manholes into which he may fall. Close the gin palaces whose escaping breath is an invitation. Even if we cannot thereby make men good, we can xt least affocd them a fairer chance. Mere democracy cannot solve the social question'. An element of aristocracy must be introduced into our life. I do not mean the aristocracy of birth, or of the purse, or even the aristocracy of intellect. I mean the aristocracy of charactcr, of will, of mind. That only can free us.—Ibsen. There is but one way in which man can J ever help God, that is by letting God help him; and there is no way in which His, Name is more guiltily tdken in vain than by calling the a bandonment of our own work the performance of His.-John Ruskin. LIFE A FIGHT. I confess that I do not see why the very existencs of an invisible world may not in part depend on the personal response which any one of us may make to the religions [ appeal. God Himself, in short, may draw vital (strength and increase of very being from our fidelity. For my own part I do not know what the sweat aial blood and tragedy of this life mean—if tftey mean any- thing short of this. If this life be not a real fight, in which something is eternally gained for the universe by success, it is no f better than a gaiffe of private theatricals .y with xraw a' But from which one may withdraw at vail. But it feels like a real fight-as if there were something really wild in the universe which we, with all our idealities and faithful- nesses, are needed to redeem; and first of all to redeem our hearts from atheisms and fears. For such a half-wild, half-saved universe our nature is adapted. The deepest thing in our nature is this dumb region of the heart in which, we dwell alone with our willingnesses and our. iuiwillingnesses—our faiths and our. fears.-Professor William A man must not only be able to work, but to give over working .-Thomae Carlyle..

Crown Imperial.—The yellow and- copper red blossoms of iritillaria. imperialis are a familiar sight na the old-fashioned garden in early summer. They are handspme border plants 61 easy culture in most soils and pos i- tions. When planting the bulbs now, piece a layer of sand beneath, and above them. I Forget-me-nots.-In many gardens self- sown seedling myosotis or Forget-me-nots ► maintain the supply from year to year. Ob- viously there will'be a certain amount* -of, thinning and transplanting to Ao, some being in unsuitable positions. On the oiher hand tilNe will be vabant ground ivhire,,it- is, worth while planting them now. Spiraeas for Cold Grm-nhouse.-Thpse beautiful plants are excellent for the cold greenhouse. Plants that-w.ere planted in the open .after flowering should now be lifted and potted. Choose pots' of a size very little larger than the clumps.Use.no drainage,' but places few leAves or pieces of tiltf over the hole of each pot, then n. little soil, and place the clumps in position, working, the compost well down amongst, the rdots. Firm- ness in -potting .must he the rule. When the work is accomplished pla40 the pots on a bed of ashes in a sheltered corner. They must be taken into the' greenhouse later on as circumstances permit, or if a .cold frame is available utilise that, allowing them to remain, there until lfower spikes conuaeMe to develop, when transfer to the conserva- tory. Spiraeas are thirsty plants and need .c,o-,istant attention in the matter ffl watering. Window Boxes.—Having cleare d the boxes \id.ow Boxes.—Having cleared the OOXe6 of THEIR summer flowers they should be fur- nished again for the winter. Foe boxes facing south and west, wallflowers, polyan- thus. perennial candytuft, and vI iola-* are suitable, with possibly a sprinkling Gf, Eipriiig,doweri.i-ig bulbs. In fold north and east positions, hardy shrubB may be u, e.g aucub-.v,. box, cttonymns, and berVcriA aquifoliuni. < Haidy Ferns.—Though frequently in the legist favourable positions the hardy fern border may bo made one of the rvst interest- ir*g jarts of the garden. If ferns alon-e tire grpw'n, transplanting may be done in spring,, .but,wllen bulbs and shade-loving perennials are Included, November ism-ually the chosen time to carry out the work. As a rule, decayed leaf-mould is the 'best dressing to fork in liberally when transplanting, Peace-leaved ■ -Beilflowers.— The several varieties of -campanula po-sicifoliu make a delightful display on a moist, rartiale- shaxled bprder in early summer. Now ii "tho time ,to lift, divide, and transplant them. The plants thrive in most soils which are freely dug an d well. manured. The average height 18, about 2ft. The varieties alba grandifiora, caerulea grandiflora, die fee, bluo, huiaosa., palo blue, semi-double, a^d moerlieimi, eemi-double, white, arc., recöm- mended. Flnting Rambler Uoses.— It is now time to think of planting roses of ■ the rambler type, as the Earlier they are got in the better, since they obtain a root hold in the ground and gain bfjiefit froTp the warmth still- remaiffieg in th$soil- The first item, is the preparation of the positions- These- should be measured off 3i't. each across, and the soil removed to-a depth of 2ft. If drain- age is needed placo a quantity of b r i c k- I in tfep' bqttom qf each hole. Some growers I add manure In a thick layer abeutf a -foot below the surface, or so deep that-the reo,4 axe not immediately in coitttact therewith, but a much better plan- to utilise well-; decayed manure and mix -it -Ui.orouglily with the soil "before returning to. the holes. Old turf chopped up roughly is valuable material :hree w?.-c?ks after pre- Allow a fortnight or three ww-ks after pre- paring the-,station for the whole to settle down before panting.. ■ Birds and Gooseberries.—In some gardens birds are very troublesome, and special pains have to be taken to prevent serious damage being done. One way" of preserving the buda from being taken by the birds is to tie the bushes up in cone-like bmidles. -This will make the centres of the bushes'safe, but the, out&ide will need protection to some extent,: Lime. can. be dusted over the busheis when they arc wet, and will. be found tq. keep off the birds. Do not prune until ,the spring, when the birds will-find other food to at- tract them. Endive.—Blanch fully grown plants of these by covering the I., cai-ts with old jam- flower- poto, or by laying atitc cr fidt, piece oJ board over the i;lp.n. tst; examin es them 'occasionally for ground pests. Celery.—Difriiig a spell of dry weather give the earliest rows of this the finishiat7 touches; place fine soil neatly up to the tops of the leaves. Aim at securing a good slope on each side of the row, making this firm with the bacH* of the spade. Late-Sown Turnips.—During mild weather turnips from seed sown last month may be expected to make considerable progress for several weeks to come; this .will be all the more pronounced if the hoe is kept in con- stant use between the rows and overcrowd- ing avoided. Carrots on Warm Bo-rderr,. -Late sowings of stump-rooted carrots made on light soil, or a warm border need not be disturbed; during a mild winter the roots continue to ;develop, and the following spring nice young carrots may be loolced for from rows which 'I just at the present time are too small to be of any culinary value. Seakale.—When clearing away the old I leaves from rows' or beds of this important crop make a point of noting those crgwns ) which are unusually strong. Such give ex- œption"Uy fine produce if introduced into slight warmth at the end of the year. A 6tlck nw p?aced agamst the most ?promist? a? may save much trouble later on. It ■ Cucumbers in Frames.—Where plants are still healthy ,anq carry numerous small fruits I an outside lining of fresh fallen leaves, and a nightly covering of the frame with dId j sacks or matting, will often suffice to main- I I tain a suitable temperature until -the late fruits attain to fair size. But after this I month it is useless to expect profitable, re- turns from plans in a frame.

? MOTHER AND HOME. I I  ;?. '? ? '?'  I 'L ? t [ "How many of one's own sex met with nowadays," said an elderly woman lately, "literally have not a single good word for anybody f They talk of their deafest friends in a tone of criticism that makes one simply dread what they will sav behind oub's back. How much more charnnng and. reliable are thosg women who cultivate the art of look. ing for the good in people instead of search- ing for their weaknesses, and who, make a point of saying nothing if they cannot praise. It is ail amiable quality--that would be more cultivated if we realised how, such a trait suits a woman, and how much sweet- Jiese of character it portrays." ■ !— [ WASEFWG WITHOUT -SOAP. v i Have you tried washing dark stockings in this way. Put them into a bowt of cold wafer, ¡«vetill next day, and then wash wa  er,  water, and when welL Rinse in clear warm water, and wn dry they will be beautifully soft. No soap is required. 1. FROM O;¡ON SKINS. I When washing cream cotton or woollen goods try this tip: Boil a few onion skins in a pint -of water, then strain the liquid into a bottle. After goods. are washed add enough of this liquid to the last ringing water, and a ckar. bright cream will reward you LK.VRXIXG Too SOON. I I, Many children begin leBSQns too young. It is much better for most children not to Ije^jin learning out of books until they are seven. They will. then Jearn a& much in one lbiontii as in six months or a year when they arc five; and there is this great advantage", that early strain on the eyes—which must to some extent-follow teaching to read out of bOOks-is avoided. Thi6 strain often leads to near--iigbtedness. Too early brain strain is also avoided. This sort of strain is ex- tremely injuriohs, especially to excitable and :ie:Ty children. FBCYLXO A HAT. 1 Two ladies had spent a long day among- the stops, and were both feeling fagged out, when one exclaimed, I'm going to get a he, "Why don't you wait until you feel better" P-sked the other. 'No, was the l'fP{j:; "1 always try on hats when I look the worst, and tlwn I can teU, without | (katbt, whether ther hat wiil suit me or not. If it looks well on me when I'm looking t worn out, I am sure, it will look splendid who I. am ftfish." [ BOOTS ASG BVNTOM9. J Bunions .-are ma<*e by boots vrmcfl nt bdlv. have soles that are too narrow, snd therefore crush the. ball pf the big toe and bring about an inflammation of the toe- joint. You never .w a. baro-footed eavage .with a bunion! Don't wear boots or shoes that cause pressure on the toe joint, and you will never suffer from bunions. To BLACKEN BBOVTII BOOTS. I Add to a teacupful of hot water a-tea- [•spoonful of liquid, ammonia. aud well sponge the boots with this, then place them aside to [dry. Cut a raw potato into slices Alid, using l a. slice at a time, rub it well ail over the .boots, and aghiil give them time to dry. The boots should be rubbed with the pota- tc«j three or four times, and after again I being allowed to dry, should then be given a gvod, thick coating of black boot polish. Shirte them in the,.ulsiial rl"ily, and they will Took a') if they, have been black boots from the- .start. No amount of faifi will widish;tho ['.polish, off. f, 11 < f H:r.:S\JE SICKLY CHTLOREK. I "17 rtvcntilated rooms are especially in- jurious in the case of children." comments a doctor. The effctø re generally manifested first iu tho, nervous, system by the production of ■ drowsiness and mental dulness. PoisonQll matters that are normally exhaled by the lungs nd skin aTe retained in the body, .rendering the blood impure and producing i fuispuiia, depression, and loss of appetite. A. [ good d-al of [sit^iiesa amongst- children is Idue to this cause. This applichto adults, [although, in a lesser degree, for their con- stitutions are stronger. The' exclusion of 'fresh, air is a radical mistake that should he corrected before permanent damage has l done. Ventilate your rooms-, therefore, .specially those occupied by children."  t?OTFAIR. I It is not fair to a child that it siiouici 00 made into a itresome little tyrant by foolish nevcr b "ill- got into the way of learning* to amuse itself without con- stssnt—and often very worrying—hptice and I .«tfcention from its elders, I WHEKB WGMFtN EXCEL. I L "When it comes to a que-tior. of courage— seme would call it cheek "—observed a humorous tradesman, "Women are far and away the superiors of men. Only a woman dare-to tum a. shop upside down and, after in'iixcting the wares, go away, smiling with- • out purchasing a pennywortU of anything. That, 'indeed, is quite- a eotiimcii-place feat with ,Cr. C) ni v a' woman would have the courage to order a hat, a wrap, or some otilci: ° article of attire, wear It a day or two, and the-n return it as unsuitable! We men are imite .in presence of these things, prob- ably because we are overwhelmed by the enoiuious effrontery of the other aex, and perhaps disarmed by the smiling innocence «:th which they carry out fheir proceed- ings.. I "AXD CLOTHES, I Directly f make a, woman friend I want to find, out if she loves dress (says a writer ic tho "Lady-"). That is a natural—a very usual wish, i3 it not? I always hope she is a clothes enthusiast. For to. dote oil prettineses is'.not necessarily to commit ex- travagance. Indeedj theze is good in being tempted. The love of the beautiful to wear aecoues a test for chaT?etsr. And it makes stopping, when shopping can legitimately J be do no, into, a, 6ne art. The woman who does not care to be well suited by her clothes disdains public opinion in a matter on which tho public has a right to judge. Shall we iw e no?er-bcds aH aglow with colour, and not care how we ourselves strike the eye? I :.0ugr.t we to be. careful how we upholster our 700105, yet remain dingy personally? Think, revorybody, what glory. would fade from earth if butterflies, poppies, aud the o'er-arching rkv suddenly elected to be drab for the future? No„ I am not sneering at drab. It has its value as a set-off to a sparkiihg face. Still, Nature avoids it; and what we call Nature is really the manifestations of our Maker's fatherly consideration for us. WREN A GIRL'S FRIEND MAERIES. j ? I Wheii a gIrl, marries, ber, girl inena should remember that the old order of things must pass away, and give place to the new; she m-ist:ar in mind that a wide gulf separates the married woman from the un- inarriqd; that their live? lie far apart, and that for the future ihe- married woman must have Guechum, namely, her husband. Yet few ait tho girls who can see matters in this light. They cannot appreciate the fact that the girls who marry at once.get new interest. iu life, and that a subtle something haa •come between them and their old chums which precludes all possibility., of the old1 terms of friendship existing.

HOME AGAIN. I 7 I RETURN OF PRISONERS AFTEK YEARS dÚ" IN GESMANY. I- Large parties of released prisoners of war from Germany have been landed at Hull, Dover, and Tilbury. The hitli pJirty ooai- prised 1,300 members of the Naval Brigade, taken at Antwerp jn October, 1914,. A eccond party, to the number of 4j00, landed two atid a-half hours later. Both parties had a great reception on the dock quay. The men will proceed to a camp at Bipon. Elaborate arrangements had b(<:n made to give thmen a civic welcome. They were re- ceived by the Lord Mayor, ard served with refreshments, tobacco, and yigarettes. r. KING S WELCOME. General Sir Stanley von DQnop, command- ing officer of the Humbpr garrison, read the following message from the King:— "The Queen joins me in welcoming you on your release from the miseries which you have endured with so much -patienm and courage during these many months' trial. The early' "rescue of our gallant officers and men from the bruelties. -6*. their captivity has been uppermost in our thoughts. We are tlvHiikfnl that this longed-for day has arrived, and that, back in the old country, you will be able to once more enjoy t^e happiness of home, and see good days among thoso who anxiously look for your return." Two steamers arrived at Tilbury, bringing a number of passengers from Rotterdam, including repatriated officers and men of the British Army frora Germany and over twenty young Belgian and Dutch girls" who interned men in Holldnd. in The Prince of Wales motored from Lon- don to Dover in order to meet the return- ing prisoners, and to deliver to them a mes- sage of welcome on behalf of the King. Over 800 returned prisoners reached Dover on Sunday afternoon, the advent of the steamer being heralded by the syrens of all the vessels in the harbour, and the cheers of thousands of people. They -were received by the Prince of Wales, who inspected them and shook them by the hand. They were taken to a rest' camp.'

r fCOD SHIP FOR HOLLAND. I The Minstry of Food states that in view of the measure of agreement reached be- tween tho. Dutch delegates and the repre- sentatives of the Allied Governments and the United States, and in view of reports úf. serious distress in Holland arising, out of in- ies, the Allied Food Council in Lo,ndon lias arranged for the immediate diversion to Rotterdam of t.he.' Adr a; carrymg about 7,100 tons of wheat. This shipwill arrive at Rotterdam an or abut f November ?4, unless there gho?.d unhappily be disorders in Holland before that date which would disturb the arrangements made for the consignment of this,cargo and would render it impossible for- the Dutch Govern- ment < o provide for its proper distributio6.

I THE OTHER NAVY. I Upon behalf of the Royal Navy, the Ad-, miralty Board has, expressed admiration of and thanks to owners, masters, officers, and crews of the British mercantile marine and all engiged, in the fishing iiidugtry for the incomparable services rendered during the war, which have made possible and complete the victory now being celebrated The Board also acknowledges the services of mercantile officers and men who served in Navy ships of every type. "The -lilerchant, Service and the Royal Navy have, never been so closely brought. together as during this war. In the in- terests of our glorious Empire this connec- tion must prove lasting," concludes the Board.

FOR SOLDIERS' CHILDREN. An Armv Order contains, a Royal Warrant enacting that from November. 4, 1918, and during the remaining period of the war, the following additions shall be made to the weekly separation allowances for children t (other than motherless children) under four- teen of soldiers who are classed. for allow- anoes in Glasses 15 to 20 inclusive:—; One child, Is. increase^ two children, 2s.; thr,4s.; four, 5s, For motherte? children under fourteen of soldiers of n ranks an addition of Is. shall s,? l dier.? of rank, an addition of Is. shall be made for each child. be. uiacle for eac h child.

ALL WELL At* RUHLEBEN. I .?  "i.. I The Prisoners of War Department states that telegraphic information has been re- r ceived from the -Nethferlanda" Legation at Berlin that the Soldiers' Council have taken chargo of the' camp at Ruhleben, and that all-the prisoners'- interned 'thpre: ar, Well and f quiet The Soldiers' Council have promised f every facility for making the lot cf the in- terncd as light as possible. The above infor- mation is published at the express wish cf the British prisoners, at Ruhlebeu.

-END OF THE WAR" DEFINED. I The text of the Bill, introduced by Dr. Addison, .to determine the date of the ter- mination of the war, declares "that the date shall be fixed with' regard to" and not later than, the date of the exchange or deposit of ratifications of the treaty or treaties of peace, or such lat6i date, if any, as may be fixed by the treaty or treaties.

7 I EARL AS ABLE j The Marquis of Lincolnshire told a story I at the National Liberal-Cltib of an e,ri who is an able seaman in the Navy. He said that on the day when Sir George "Cave was going to take his seat in the House of Lords a messenger canie to him and said, "An able seaman would like to See your lordship." "I went out," said the Marquis, "and saw' a handsome bov, eighteen years old, and he said, I want to see Sir George Cave taking his seat. Will -yoU put me on the steps of the Throned' "I said, 'Before I can give an answer, w?iat is your name? He replied, ? My name I is Do La Warr.' "That boy," continued the Marqui. "left Eton when he was sixteen and enlisted in the Royal Navy, and for over a year he has l' been picking up mints. "I put him on the step of the Throne, and now he has gone back to his ship to do his duty to his God and hie country. That is the kind of men that- we breed in this I country."

-—————- » ■ 1 ■ Rev. Dr. F. it. Dudden, vicar of St. j John's, Notting Hill, hu beej^ appointed a I canon of GloucosLer Cathedral, in succession j to the late Bishop MitchenSon. » j Queenstown magistrates imposed a fine of < £ 50 on Patrick Mahony for having offered } for sale muscatels at 4s. per Ib., the ptico fixed by the Food Controller being Is. 2d. i A proposal jthat, after peace, relatives of j soldiers buried in France sball have free passes to .iit the graves at the nation's ex- j pense is to be considered by the Govem' j Juent.

j FN AND FANCY. I If "Did you ever get a proposal, auntittlv Once" my dear. A gentleman, proposed oven- the telephone, but he had the wrong' number. Brown: "Is your "Bon in business?** Smith: "He's a contractor." Browne ."What line?" Smith: "DebtsP Greengrocer: "The long-haired matt who just went cut must be a music crank." Cus- tomer: "Why do you think so?" Green- grocer: "He insisted that I only gave hint four beets to tho measure. ——— v a Curate: "I never see any of your neigh- bours at church, Mrs. Hodge." Mm Hodge: "I know, sir, but it ain't my fault. I sesr to 'em, I &Cs: '.Look at me now, [ goes to church evory Sunday, and I ain't no worse for it." But it's no good-, i?ir, tliey, won't come nohow." Mrs. Noolywed: "Oh, ma, George is up*. stairs in a fearfu1 temper, and all because I asked him to kiid. me his new razor a. moment." Mother: "The wretch! What did Mrg. Nooiywed: you want it for, dear?" Mrs. Noolywed; H Jfjt tç" open sar<lin tin }th/ "Just to.open a sardine tin w^th/'l Barber (to customer being shaved): "Times are not like they were, sir! It's hard to keep body and soul together." Cus- tomer (feeling hia chin): "Yes; I notice you scrape hard for a living.• She (to fiance) "We must be very eco- nomical now. Promise me that you will do [ nothing you c&n'^ afford." He; "What! I Do vow want me to treak off' the engage- ment?" "This machine-gun can five six, hundred' shots a minute," said the officer. "Y ou dQnlot say" marvelled the farr- visitor. "I don't. see how. anyone can pllH the trigger so ( ast "Ton say you've worn thi.9 hat for two- years?" u Y6B, sir; and it looks all right still. Twice I've had it cleaned, and exchanged it in a restaurant for one that watf entirely new." • i Officer (to recruit who has been reported for insolence to sergeant): "Hemcmber yom are a soldier now, and you Bust learn to obey orders. This is a famous regiment—a famous regiment, my man. We tame lions in thia ivgiment. Er-wbat '.wcr$ you itt Civil life?"' Recruit: "Lion-tamer; Otd Lady (to fed-up sailor) "And tell me, why have they let. you have a holiday at such a time?" Jack: "'Oliday? A mine- sweeper- as to come into sometimes W- 'ave it6 brushes cleancd ■ A little boy, who was gaaing very ill"; tently- at the bald space on the back of uncle's head, was asked by his inothpr what he was thinking about. Oh." suyid the little chap, smiling, as -he got near the door, "I all). so sorry for \\de: Not much- Coining up on his allotment!" c Silas, the shepherd, had been-sent, into town by his master to cash a cheque at the bank. After tho cashier had weighed Out the iyo-ney, Silas waw ratfic-r doubtful, and start,4 to count it himself. "WteTL" said the a8hier sa.rcastica!!y after Ke lmd nnished, "is it :HgM; "Ay," replied 88?  but O.'aly just A 'wcll-knovm Highland drovef sold horco to an Englishm.^h. A few days after- wards- the buyer returned to him. "Yoxt said that- húrsé" had no faults." HWeel, no- I'mair b'ari he. "He's 'nearly blind!" said. the indignant Englishman.. "Why, men, that's no' his fau't—that's his "misfortune!" "And do you really love me?" asked thé" wretty girl. "Love you?" the young man ♦ried. "Why, darling, while I was bidding j-ou good-bye in the porch last night, your' dog bit large piece out 01 the calf of my leg, md I Qever noticed i ttiH. I go £ hom^ A few' days ago a young man took his best 1,, girl a bouquet cf nowcrs. The young woman 1; I was so pleaded she threw her. arms a6ut b-ii' neCkaM kis&ed hi:H. He ?ro?e .and started to go. "I m sorry I offended you," she Said Jj ?'Oh, I &m not offended,' she rplled; "1 ?as going back for 'more nowcra." ? I Husband (to Wife): "Do you believe in the theory that the greabcss of a father often -prov" a stumbling-block to the advance- ment of his "son in lifet" V» ife: "I-certainly do. I am thankful, John, onr boy w)M never be handicapped in fhd way May: "No, George, it cannot be. I aid, not good enough to be your wife." Georges "What nonsense, dear. You are an angel!" Ma y: even air "aiigel- could not be happy with a man who had only .£150 a year, and provisions as scarce as they are!" A soldier, writing from France, said "Dear Mother,—Please label riíy cake. 'socks if you want it to get to m" A provincial town was "billed" for two great rival theatrical productions. On the arrival cf the train which brought both companies, a photographer, bound on feusi- ness, approached one of the company as he stepped" out of A first-class compartment an4.. politely raising his hat, said, in all sin- cerity: "Beg pardbn, sir, but are ybu The. Darling of the God$' or The Greatest Scoundrel on Earth f" A young man lived at some distance from his bride-eleet- On the eventful .day he aet off for. the station in good time, but, being delayed by. his friends, he missed the train. Then he bethought himself of the tele- graph. "Don't many till I coe.-Wil. !jam was the message he wired. They had just become engaged. "What joy it will be," she trilled, "for me to share all your joys and. sorrows." "]aut, da:ling, he protested, "I have no sorrows." "Per- haps not now," she murmured, "but whegj- we are married, of course, you, will have. "Mother doesn't think she'll go to thØ theatre with us to-night, Albert." "Ie that so? I have got three tickets. What shall I do with the third a". ive it to the man you always go out to see between the acts. He can sit with us, and you won'4 have to go out to see him." At a christening ceremony the paxfeon- eaid, "Name- this child. He was surprised to hear the reply, "Dinah M." "But," said the parson, "I can't chrMten your ehiH 'ith an initial." "WeU,?!s like this," the iather chipped in; she shapes well as a good, helpful girl in. the house, I shall caN- ler Dinah May. But if she turns, out a hot- tempered explosive- sort of a girl like tkQf mother, I shall call her Dinah Might." ■